In this episode, we're in the fourth part of our five-part series on equanimity. This episode is quite a bit different than the last two where we worked with the internal dynamics of an emotional storm and how equanimity can come in to tame the winds. Now, we’ll look at how this process can expand outside ourselves. We're probably all familiar with this phase as well: we say or do things out of surges of emotions that took us by surprise, negative thoughts that hung on, and story lines we told ourselves. These kind of outbursts are inevitable given all the energy we've brewed up in the early phases of the storm and, well, it just kind of needs to go somewhere. Often, we lash out. Other times, we replay the scenario again [and again] in our heads, winning an imaginary battle that keeps us reactivating our stress response. Whatever the case, we'll talk about strategies to bring back equanimity to not only dissipate the storm, but make situations like this far less common.  

Key Takeaways:

• If we haven't prevented or buffered an emotional storm by this point, then we are likely *full* with energy. When that occurs, it's hard to hold back from lashing out.
• If we don't lash out and don't work to dissipate the storm, we may find that we continue to replay the event over and over again in our minds. This replaying continues to re-activate our stress and keeps us stuck in the event. 
• Anger is not a bad emotion; it may be just the emotion for the situation. However, we have to create a bit of space between the activation and sensations and our response so we can tune into our wisdom and choose our response in a way that is most healthy and effective.
• Grounding practices are super effective at helping us create space between activation and response.
• Equanimity amidst a storm takes a lot of skill because an emotional storm happens so fast. We need to practice!
• Next episode we'll look at how to learn from these storms, even if we got totally swept away, so that we can maintain more equanimity when the next one hits.   

Links and Sources Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab Podcast #48 (Equanimity: A Tool for Emotional Reactivity & the Power of Grounding-Part 1)
• Joy Lab Podcast #49 (Equanimity: When an Emotional Storm Hits & Thoughts Start Spiraling-Part 2)
• Joy Lab Podcast #50 (Equanimity: Seeing our Storylines and Changing Course- Part 3)
• Joy Lab Podcast #12 (Five Pathways to Inner Calm) This episode is a broad overview of what we'll be talking about over the next 5 episodes. It's a really helpful summary!
• Joy Lab Podcast #34 (Meditation with Music: Heart-Opening Meditation). This is a good body awareness practice
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PDF, we'll link a video soon)
• Natural outdoor environment, neighbourhood social cohesion and mental health: Using multilevel structural equation modelling, streetscape and remote-sensing metrics (2020; green/blue spaces and mental health analyses)
• Understanding Emotions: Origins and Roles of the Amygdala (2021)
• Part 1—You can run but you can't hide: Intrusive thoughts on six continents (2014)
• Part 2. They scare because we care: The relationship between obsessive intrusive thoughts and appraisals and control strategies across 15 cities (2014)
• How changing your story can change your life (Lori Gottlieb Ted Talk)
• On knowing what you are not supposed to know and feeling what you are not supposed to feel. (1979; classic article)
• Anger in psychological disorders: Prevalence, presentation, etiology and prognostic implications (2016)
• Warm Lines Directory
• James Baldwin (quote was from Notes of a Native Son- check out this biography page from PBS)

 

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147888317