In this Habits Series episode, Lesley breaks down what it truly takes to unravel a habit that no longer fits the life you want. She explains how prompts quietly drive your behaviors, why simply removing them often backfires, and how thoughtful replacements can make change feel easier and more sustainable. Through real examples and gentle mindset shifts, you’ll learn how to spot the trigger behind an unwanted habit and create a version of the routine that actually supports who you’re becoming.

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In this episode you will learn about:

• Why there's no such thing as a "bad habit," only habits that stopped serving you.
• How to identify the specific "prompt" that starts a habit you dislike.
• Why removing a habit creates a "vacuum" that makes you want to do it more.
• A powerful technique you can do for managing unavoidable prompts.
• Why using shame and judgment will not help you unravel a habit you don't want.

Episode References/Links:

• Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/cW2pFic
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• Episode 613: Habits Special 1 of 8 - https://beitpod.com/ep613

 

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

We have to just actually go, okay, hold on. How often is this happening? What is the prompt that's happening here? And how do I remove the prompt? Right? How do I evolve, change the scenario or change the setting? 

Lesley Logan 0:12  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:52  

Hi, Be It babe. We're here to talk about how to break a bad habit. Oh, actually, strike that. Reverse it. It is how to unravel a habit we no longer want. Specific like specificity in words matters. And when I studied habits, and I was studying and reading BJ's book, Tiny Habits, and then doing his program, it was so cool to hear that there's no such thing as a bad habit. All right, there's no such thing as a bad habit. There's only habits that no longer serve us, but at some point they did. 

Lesley Logan 1:25  

If you are new to the podcast, hello, I'm Lesley Logan, and we are in the middle of a habits series. And so normally, with our episodes, I'm like, listen to whatever you want. Go back and forth. When we're in the series, I might, I would suggest you go to the first episode on Habits. Um, it's several episodes back. We're almost, we're halfway through, basically, the Habits series. And this is a series I want you to be able to come back to whenever you want to add in a new habit. So you definitely want to check in with number one, so we can get here. But it this episode itself might be something you will listen to over and over again, because you might come across habits that no longer serve you. And the reason I say that is, at some point, a habit, something became a habit because it was serving you at the time, and then it kind of got out of hand, right? Maybe eating lunch at your desk like was something you had to do because you were in a busy work week, and then it just became something you always did. And you are now feeling quite lonely, because you're not going out and having lunch with friends, because you have this habit of eating lunch at your desk. So there's nothing wrong with eating lunch at your desk, right? There's actually, there's like at its at its just surface level. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's no longer serving you, and then you have to break this habit, right? And so that would be really weird, because how do you break up with lunch? When you need to eat you need to eat. So the truth is, is that there's the way, the reason that BJ Fogg talked about unraveling a habit that no longer works is that there was a series of events that got you to the habit that you have, and there's a prompt that goes off that causes you to do the thing that you no longer want to do. It's not a bell, but you can think of it like a bell. There's a prompt that happens. So for example, if every time your boss calls, you bite your nails, the prompt to biting your nails started with your boss, it's your boss calling, right? Now, we can't stop your boss from calling, but knowing what the prompt is allows us to kind of understand, like, what can we do? So if you're looking at your life and they're looking at the things that you're like, oh, I wish I could change. I wish I didn't, like, have a second with my clients. And she was like, yeah, I find myself munching after dinner even though I'm not hungry. And so, by the way, there's like, again, there's nothing wrong with munching after dinner, but she no longer wants to munch up, and it's affecting her sleep. It's affecting the goals that she has, the energy she has in the morning, it's no longer working for her. So I told her, I said, well, we have to review, like, what is the prompt to grabbing the extra snacks? Like, is there a phone call? Is there a text? Is there a show you watch? Where are, where, where are you having the extra snacks, like, what's going on that this, that this prompt started? So she just sort of evaluate, like, what was her mind going through? And she realized it's kind of when she, like, is just scrolling on social with the TV going that she wants to munch, right? So she's actually just not really even being present. And so once you know, kind of, like the promptness at the situation that we can actually make decisions on what we're going to do to unravel this. In my example of the boss calls you bite your nails, we can't actually stop the boss from calling, most likely. So that prompt isn't something we can remove, but if the prompt is something you could remove, right, then you would just remove the prompt. Like, where you try to remove the prompt, right? So if, like, oh, you know, like the, everytime I watch this TV show, then I, then I sit and have a bag of chips. We could just remove the, in theory, remove the chips or the TV show. The problem with some of the removals of prompts is it, it creates a suction, a vacuum, right? That makes you want to do it more. 

Lesley Logan 4:57  

In BJ's book, he talked about this woman who want didn't want to eat at her like, like, she was just munching at her desk. And so it's like, munching, like, candy or whatever at her desk. And so, of course, people be like, well, just don't buy the candy. Okay, so she didn't, and then she found herself wanting something to do at her desk, because she's had this habit of, like, having these M&M's at her desk. So she ended up going to the vending machine and getting, like, a couple candy bars, which was more than the couple of M&M's that she ate at her desk. And so that's that's what I'm saying when, like, you just take the thing away, it creates a vacuum that's actually a bit more powerful because your brain is thinking about it. So, so what ended up working for this person was actually to buy carrots and celery and other things that are like would you can deem a little bit more healthier as snacks at her desk. So she still snacks at her desk. We can't remove that she's at her desk. We can't remove that she's at work. We can't remove the stress at work. So we're just swapping out the habit for something else that she feels would serve her better, those those things, that those foods, that would give her more energy. 

Lesley Logan 6:00  

So in your life, what are some habits you want to unravel? I mentioned in the first episode, like, I do play a video game, and I probably play a little more than I that I need to, and it's affecting my ability to read more, right? And I'm also wanting to start. I've been wanting to I've been studying tarot. I like to call it tarot, because my friend called it tarot, tarot, right? And so I've got this study book that I've got, and I've been playing with different apps that you can use to study tarot, because clearly, like, I'm with my phone, the reason the prompt is I'm in line usually, or sitting in the car, we're in traffic or and Brad's on a call. Like, there's I'm bored, right? I'm bored, and my phone is a thing that I have. I'm in a doctor's office waiting to be called. Like, yes, I could bring up a book around with me everywhere, but I actually don't carry a purse that often. So, so what if I don't want to play the video game anymore? I could swap it for one of these apps that helps me study tarot, right? So that's a case of like, okay, here's a habit I don't like about myself, and I when do I do it? Okay, this is when I do it. So the prompt is usually boredom. So let's replace it with something we do want to do, and then make that the new habit. Now, going back to Episode One, how do we make things a habit. We have to celebrate that we like doing it, that we're doing it. We have to acknowledge when we're doing it. right, all that kind of stuff. So whenever you were replacing something, it doesn't just become the new habit. You do have to go through the steps that we talked about in the first three episodes on the series, but you replace it with the habit you no longer want with something else. 

Lesley Logan 7:38  

If you are in an instance where you can unravel the habit, right? You can really figure out, like, what the prompt is, oh, the prompt is, you know, I get, like, let's get an example of a prompt you can control. After I get home from work, I sit down on the couch and I veg out. So the prompt is that you get home from work and you sit down, right? So we can unravel that by, well, what if you actually went somewhere else before you got home, right? What if you just didn't go straight home? Oh, you have to go straight home because you've got kiddos. Okay. Then what can you do with your kiddo that could replace the opportunity to sit down on the couch? So we just need to get keep you from the couch with using another habit. We got to change the prompt. Is this making sense? So it is complicated. Some people's habits are really difficult. They have immersed themselves in their lives. We're talking like smoking or drinking, maybe negative self-talk, right? You want to unravel negative self-talk, you have to first notice what the prompt is, what goes off in your day that becomes the thing that goes ding? I've talked badly about myself right now, right? Like, that's hard. We have to those ones that are a little bit more omnipresent. They kind of come with us on a lot of different places. We have to just actually go, okay, hold on. How often is happening? What is the prompt that's happening here, and how do I remove the prompt? Right? How do I evolve, change the scenario or change the setting? 

Lesley Logan 9:11  

In the first three episodes, I talked about, when you make a habit like, you also want to make sure that, like, where the habit is happening, your day is like, in the same place, like, if you want to actually be working out, but you are at work. Like, the habits not going to necessarily work, right? If you want to clean the kitchen, but you're, you're, you're usually in the garage at that time, it's going to be really hard for you to, like, get to the kitchen. I know that sounds like crazy. Some kitchen, the garages are next to each other, but, like, there, you'd be surprised, the effort that feels like a lot. So in all these cases, just taking in the time to go, what is starting the domino to the habit that no longer serves me? And then where is the scenario happening? Is it a location? Can I avoid that location? Yes, we can block and bless people who like are mean to us. And then that causes things like, maybe you're, you got someone in your family that whenever they call, you're just so stressed out afterwards, and so you're like, oh, I need a drink. And so, like, that's the prompt. But the reality is is like many of us are not gonna not talk to our family members, many of us are actually gonna take the call. So what do you do if you have that? Well, there was this really cool instance where BJ talked about this woman who was avoiding talk taking calls with her soon to be ex-husband, was making the divorce drag on. And she was doing that because every time talk to him, would stress her out, so she wouldn't talk to him. And then, of course, like they're not divorced, right? So basically, she made a new decision. She said, okay, every time I get on the phone with him to talk about these things I'm going to immediately book myself something that I want to do. So then she actually looked forward to every time he called, because it's like, okay, I took this call. I get to go book buy myself movie tickets that movie I wanted to see. Oh, I get to get my nails done. Oh, I get to book that massage. Like she just started rewarding herself with things that she wanted to do. It made the phone calls so much easier to get through, because she knew as soon as she got off she was doing something fun for herself. It made the divorce happen sooner. So if you can't avoid certain prompts that cause certain stresses or negative self-talk or or feelings you no longer want to have, what can we change that we do in the after part and make that the habit, and then take that, go back to Episode One and run through the process. Every time there's a habit you want to create, we have to go back to Episode One and run through the process, because we might think we know what's going to work. But then when you actually sit down and you look at like, okay, is that easy or hard to do? Is it easy for me to book myself a facial? Yeah, right? Or like, or do I want to? Yes. Can I afford to? Ooh, maybe that makes it harder. So maybe that's not the thing. Every time I talk to my brother who's stressing me out, I'm gonna book myself a facial. That might not be an option, but maybe you always get to go on a hike, right? Or maybe you get to, maybe you get to, you know, go read a book. Or maybe you call, maybe you have, like, some music that you play. This house, whenever we have a big work thing going on that causes a little anxiety, a little nervousness, a little like, oh, I don't know if this is gonna work. I don't know what to do. We actually have a YouTube video that we play, and we play it and it just her voice, calms my nerves, right, her her message, like, lifts my spirits. And by the end, I'm like, I'm ready to do it. I'm ready to do the thing. And so I would just say, like, this part of the habits building does take some self-awareness, huge self-awareness, but also it requires us to explore, like, what is it that we really want? And and it also requires us to to really be honest and take a 30,000 foot view of the things we no longer want. It's so easy to beat ourselves up for the habits you don't like about yourself, reading your email at night, right? If that's a habit that you have, you no longer want Sure. We could just say, don't look at your phone at night. Okay, but then what are you going to do? Because it creates a vacuum. So what are the what is the prompt that makes you open your phone? Can we remove that prompt? Okay, no, we have to have the phone because, like, you have a partner who works late, okay, oan we remove email from your phone? Can we set up apps that allow, that work, that don't allow you to open up your email on your phone after a certain hour? Okay, great. All these things are great ideas, but then, because this is a habit, and because it's going to be plaguing your brain to check that email and you're just going to go to your computer to check it, what can you do instead? How can we replace it so we don't have this void that causes a lot of pull like a magnetized pool? What do you want to do instead? If you aren't checking email at night, what are you doing? So something that I replace, like checking my phone at night with, is actually, one, I take a nice, long shower with, Epsom salt scrub, not a bath, an Epsom salt scrub. Oh my God, I love it. That's one of the really wonderful episodes we did with Rachel Varga. And then, two, I put my red light masks on. I have to lay in my bed with my clean face, my clean chest. I have to lay in my bed for 10 minutes so I can't I can't check my emails. I can't read them. I'm laying in my bed with my red lights on. And then by the time that's over, I'm so tired, it's enough just to get the last moisturizer thing on my face before I fall asleep. Right? So if you have things you want to remove from your life, it is a weave. It's a web that's been woven. So what were the strands that got you to where you are? How do we take those things? How do we untangle this mess? And then what are we gonna place it with that you want to do? Go back through episode one through three, and then you can come back here and work on the next one. These things can take time, so be kind to yourself. Remember celebrations do matter. Shame and judgment do not create habits, nor will they help you unravel a habit.

Lesley Logan 15:01  

All right. So in our next episode, we are going to talk about just some things to like consider when it comes to making a habit, because I think it's really easy for perfectionism to get in the way. So we're talking about that. And then we'll also go into Episode Six will just be a bit more about how habits can help you be it till you see it. I mean, after all, that's what this podcast is about. 

Lesley Logan 15:19  

If this was helpful. If the series has been helpful, I would it would mean the world to me. If you would send it to a friend. It really the this podcast, the growth of this podcast, it really matters, one, for us to keep doing it. And two, if we want bigger guests, like some of you, have sent me some amazing guests, and I'm like, oh my God, I love that. You think I'm that huge. We definitely have to be huge. So we're getting there. We are getting there so mighty. And it means the world to me that you're listening. And I can't wait to keep growing with you. I can't wait to be it until we see it with you. I can't wait to how you use these habits in your life. So share this with friend as we continue to grow and then the whole world is being it until they see it. 

Lesley Logan 15:57  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. 

Brad Crowell 16:39  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 16:44  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 16:48  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. 

Brad Crowell 16:55  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. 

Brad Crowell 16:59  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

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