Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

#70 - Two Types of Self-Care & Committing to Both!


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Knowing the two types of self-care and practicing both is good for you and everyone around you! Tune in and learn the two types of self-care, why you may be challenged around meeting your self-care needs and how to hold yourself accountable for practicing good self-care. 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #70:

  • There are two types of self-care: self-care needs and self-care wants.
  • We learn about self-care first in our family of origin.
  • If some of our needs were neglected as children, we may struggle to practice self-care as an adult and we may pass neglect on to our children.
  • Self-care wants are just as — if not more — important than self-care needs.
  • Use self-care wants as a reward for attending to self-care needs.
  • Commit to at least one self-care want every day, and work your way up to three, or more!

Highlights from Episode #70:

  • Welcome to the show! [00:40]
  • A listener inspired this episode with questions about self-care. [00:54]
  • Vicki brings up the issue of self-care and how self-care related to boundaries that we set for ourselves. [02:15]
  • Without setting limits on ourselves, we aren't able to function. [03:09]
  • Setting personal healthy limits creates space for health and well-being. [05:34]
  • Vicki discusses the two categories of self-care, and what the term means. [06:09]
  • We learn about the 11 self-care needs, which are listed below. [06:18]
  • Our parents teach us about self-care through their own behavior and how they parented us. [09:40]
  • We need to be mindful of all 11 self-care needs to teach our children. [11:05]
  • Does self-care feel more like a chore than a joy? [13:22]
  • Vicki speaks about self-care wants, which are activities that we love to do and that we feel good about after we've done them. [14:28]
  • Self-care wants are highly individualized, and self-care looks different for men and women. [17:01]
  • Why self-care wants are just as crucial as needs. [19:56]
  • When our self-care wants are taken care of, we have a buffer that helps us avoid drama and conflict. [21:34]
  • Vicki tells us how to get self-care done. [23:02]
  • Find someone to be your accountability partner to help with your progress. [24:59]
  • To make self-care needs easier to take care of, schedule your appointments in advance and reward yourself when you complete them. [26:24]
  • Commit to a bare minimum of one self-care want each day, and work your way up to at least three. [30:05]

Links and Resources:

  • Vicki Tidwell Palmer
  • Episode #34 | Women, Choose Self-Care Over Self-Sacrifice
  • Episode #50 | Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries
  • Episode #55 | Extreme Accountability
  • Pia Mellody
  • Bullet Journal: The Analog Method for the Digital Age
Self-Care Needs*:
  1. Food
  2. Clothing
  3. Shelter
  4. Physical Nurturing
  5. Emotional Nurturing
  6. Spiritual Practice
  7. Education
  8. Money
  9. Medical Attention
  10. Dental
  11. Sexual

*From the work of Pia Mellody @ www.piamelody.com

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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of BoundariesBy Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW

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