Why do we get angry? What’s the point of anger, and how do we deal with it when it feels SO overwhelming and intolerable?

 

This week’s episode was born out of an idea that popped into my head while reading an emotions book for toddlers. I know, right? 

 

The book identified four different emotions: anger, sadness, frustration, and happiness. The whole premise of the book was teaching children to recognize when they’re having those emotions, and to figure out how to put words to them– so they can better communicate with others, get what they need, and then move on. 

 

This fundamental message is so important. 

 

Although it’s perhaps too sophisticated for a toddler to understand why their emotions are happening, bringing this type of awareness in is the beginning of putting those pieces together. 

 

Our emotions are here for a reason. They’re not here to annoy us, and they’re not here so we will suffer. They’re here for a VERY specific reason. (Well, maybe they’re here to annoy us for the purpose of us paying attention to them. Kind of like a baby’s crying is not pleasant to listen to for a reason.) 

 

And if we can tap into what that reason is, then we can interact with the world in a way that’s closer to our values, that is more communicative, and that feels better to us. 

 

Tweetable Quotes

“An emotional danger is something we may perceive the same way as a physical danger.” – Rachelle Heinemann

 

“When we feel angry, it lets us know where that boundary is drawn. Otherwise, we have no idea where we start and end. Anger is the tool that lets us know where that line is drawn.” – Rachelle Heinemann

 

“Beyond the information that [anger] provides for us to let us know what our boundaries and values are, it enables us to get what we need, to actually implement change.” – Rachelle Heinemann

 

 

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