Understanding Disordered Eating: Eating Disorder Recovery and Body Image Healing

Body image is one of the most overused but essential topics in mental health.

So why does poor body image seem to be the last clingy guest at the recovery party, the one who refuses to take a hint and just leave? Sure, changing your body might give you a short-term confidence boost, but once that “ideal” inevitably slips away, so does that fragile confidence. Turns out, there’s no quick fix here. Instead, there’s a long road to unpacking why we’ve all bought into the lie that self-worth and body size go hand in hand.

“I know that you might feel more confident when you shrink your body and then you feel like you have a better body image, but that confidence is very much tied to your body.” - Rachelle Heinemann

"Body image is really not at all like a symptom." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Who said that working on our body image is supposed to be easy?" - Rachelle Heinemann

"What would people think about you if you took up more space?" - Rachelle Heinemann

"If I want to feel more confident, I have to take a lot of risks with doing things that I don't want to do, whether it's interpersonally or just with tasks." - Rachelle Heinemann

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Body size does NOT equal health status.

Let’s be real: there’s a lot of confusion surrounding weight, health, and chronic illnesses like diabetes and PCOS. And if you’re like me, you’re probably tired of hearing the same old, tired advice. There are so many mixed messages when it comes to health and body size. Especially this myth that being in a larger body means you’re unhealthy. 

"There’s so many different things that you can do to manage chronic illness that have absolutely nothing to do with your body size." - Rachelle Heinemann

"You can't tell from looking at somebody if they're healthy or not." - Chelsea Levy

"Over 90 percent of the population will gain back weight that they intentionally lose." - Chelsea Levy

“Diet culture is always selling us to do more, eat less, go harder.” - Chelsea Levy

“We know that it’s unethical to prescribe weight loss and also we see a lot of doctors prescribing behaviors without actually asking what clients are doing.” - Chelsea Levy

Check out Chelsea Levy’s website here!

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"It's pretty rare to find a doctor who practices from a weight-inclusive perspective." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Obesity stigma is extremely common in healthcare settings. People with larger bodies like consistently in research study after research study say, that healthcare settings are some of the most stigmatizing places that they go." - Dr. Mara Gordon

“Even the American Medical Association has said that clinicians shouldn't be using BMI to really be making decisions about their individual patients.” - Dr. Mara Gordon

"My approach as a size-inclusive doctor is basically like I let the patient initiate that conversation." - Dr. Mara Gordon

"Food is so important. It's so cultural. It's a way that we share community, a way that we show respect to people, and it really can change the way that people sort of experience food." - Dr. Mara Gordon

Dr. Mara Gordon’s website

Dr. Mara Gordon’s substack

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If you’ve ever stood on the brink of a party, heart racing, contemplating whether to take the plunge into a sea of social awkwardness, you’re in good company. I mean, who doesn’t love the thrill of risking utter humiliation over finger foods and small talk, right? Spoiler alert: I don’t.

In this episode, I’m unpacking the intricacies of anxiety around social situations, recovery, and all those delightful emotions we tend to shove down deep. We'll explore the ever-elusive idea of "recovery"—which, let’s be honest, can feel like trying to define “normal.” Is it just me, or does it come with as many definitions as there are people trying to navigate it?

"Recovery means something different to every person, and it's really great to try to describe it and break it down, what it means, and what it could look like." - Rachelle Heinemann

"If you're more vulnerable with somebody, you develop more trust, deeper trust." - Rachelle Heinemann

"We just sort of have to close our eyes and jump off the cliff to [a certain extent] with someone that lets us know that they might be a safe enough person to be vulnerable with." - Rachelle Heinemann

“You can't just build authentic connection by hanging out and not being vulnerable at all.”  - Rachelle Heinemann

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Whether you are active on social media or not, it’s probably had an impact on your life in one way or another. Let’s be honest—most of us have a love-hate relationship with it, and it’s the same story when it comes to how it impacts our relationship with food and body image. But, hey, why delete Instagram when you can just add more stress to your life, right?

In this episode, I’m joined by Lily Thrope, a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in NY, Massachusetts and Connecticut. Together, we’re diving into how social media can serve as a breeding ground for comparison, misinformation, and, surprise surprise, worsening self-esteem.

Lily Thrope, LCSW is the founder of Thrope Therapy LCSW PLLC, a group psychotherapy practice located in Midtown Manhattan. Thrope Therapy specializes in supporting individuals who experience eating disorders, disordered eating, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and LGBTQ+ clients. Lily helps her clients find the confidence to face these issues and find ways to live their happiest and most authentic lives.  that they want in their lives. Thrope Therapy is built on the belief that each and every person deserves support and a safe space to work towards their most fulfilled and happy self.

• "Social media is not inherently bad or good... It is what we make of it or how it impacts us." - Rachelle Heinemann

• "You cannot possibly give general advice …. that would apply to everyone." - Rachelle Heinemann

• "It’s this pressure to constantly prove yourself and show who you are, but like be really cool and beautiful and thin and all these other ideals." - Lily Thrope

• “The problem with social media is that those people who are validating you often don't know you… They're not validating you as a human being. They're validating you as a square on an app on a phone.” - Lily Thrope

• “Social media is not going anywhere, so instead of saying how terrible it is, we have to say, how can we support our clients in setting good boundaries with it?” - Lily Thrope

• “If your strategy is to exit out [from distressing situations], you're not going to be able to grow together with people, and you will end up more lonely.” - Lily Thrope

Connect with Lily on Instagram!

https://thropetherapy.com/ 

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Stop caring what others think about you.

Now that I’ve got your attention, let me back up. We’ve all been there—so consumed by “what will they think?” that we lose sight of what we think. But if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that trying to please everyone just makes you boring. 

• “It's not necessarily about caring less because there's no magic in that. It's how do we care just as much, but then make decisions based on what we need, our values.” - Rachelle Heinemann

• “For those of the people who, at least on the outside, look like they don't care, I think for the most part, they're faking it.” - Rachelle Heinemann

• “Can we be impacted less by our anticipation of other people's reactions or responses?” - Rachelle Heinemann

• “If I push you away, you don't learn. I don't get to teach. I don't get to learn from other people. And one of the things that I absolutely love is being an educator.” - Rachelle Heinemann

• “It's not necessarily about caring less. It's about doing things that feel better for you, that feel more aligned with your values, and keeping other people in mind.” - Rachelle Heinemann

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ADHD + a complicated relationship with food = a recipe for disaster. Am I right?

If you’ve ever found yourself forgetting key ingredients at the grocery store or using snacks to calm your brain from its chaotic circus act. If you're nodding along and thinking, "Yep, that's me," then listen up.

In this episode, I’m joined by Brittany Modell, a registered dietitian and certified intuitive eating counselor who knows exactly how overwhelming it can be to juggle all the things, especially when ADHD makes remembering groceries or even meals feel like an Olympic event. 

“When someone struggles with something like ADHD, eating disorder recovery can get really, really complicated for a variety of reasons.” - Rachelle Heinemann

"Self-compassion is a practice, it's not something you experience once or twice, and all of a sudden you have compassion for yourself." - Brittany Modell

"ADHD looks different for various people." - Brittany Modell

"Food is powerful, but food is not the end-all, be-all... it can play a role, but my brain's not going to change because I ate differently." - Brittany Modell

"This is general information. This is not one size fits all." - Brittany Modell

"Routine is really important, and it's hard because people with ADHD tend to struggle with routine, but they can thrive when they have it." - Brittany Modell

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Flashback to your teenage years.

What a blissful, uncomplicated time... said no one ever. Adolescence can be a confusing time—so confusing, in fact, that most of us can’t even make sense of our own teenage years even as adults. Prevention happens during these years, and because of that they are complicated.

But here’s the thing: preventing eating disorders, or at least minimizing the chances, is more about fostering self-worth and emotional health than just keeping them off the latest fad diet.

This episode isn’t just for parents who feel like they’re constantly playing catch-up with their kids' mental health. It’s for educators, clinicians, and anyone who's had the absolute pleasure of trying to navigate the tangled web of teenage emotions. 

"The words that you say about someone's body matter. They matter so much." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Let's go in with an open mind; we have no idea what a person is like before we get to know them." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Self-compassion is really one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience that we have, and resilience building is very important for people's mental health." - Marcy Forta

“How people internalize the messages they hear actually makes a very big difference.” - Marcy Forta

“The most important thing about talking with your child about social media is that they can feel comfortable to come to you when they hear or see something that is concerning to them, they don't feel like, 'Oh, my mom's going to judge me.'” - Marcy Forta

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Calling moms everywhere: if you have ever found yourself standing in front of the fridge, starving but too tired to decide between a sandwich or just grabbing the entire pint of ice cream, then stick with me, because I’m talking to you.

Mom life is amazing (read: exhausting). But let’s be real, it’s all about balancing both motherhood and a healthy relationship with food. Spoiler alert: it’s not as easy as those Instagram influencers make it look. 

"The number one thing you have to do is nourish yourself." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Don't skip any meal or snack ever." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Treat yourself as if it's a normal thing and it's not because you deserve it or you earned it." - Rachelle Heinemann

"Think about the way that we've methodically gone through different parts of the day during a random person's day today, and think about the different intricacies about your life, and your week, and your month, and apply some of these ideas to your life." - Rachelle Heinemann

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Are eating disorders actually a type of addiction?

It’s easy to think of eating disorders as, well, a disorder. But when we start to really dive into the nitty gritty, are they actually considered an addiction?

In today’s episode, I am joined by Iris Epstein.

Since 2004, Iris Epstein RD, CDCES, CEDS-S, CAI has focused her career on eating disorder awareness, treatment, family coaching, and intervention at her practice in Pomona, New York. Her philosophy is one of compassion along with hard work to break through the determined mindset that takes hold of people with eating disorders. By addressing the medical and malnutrition issues that give eating disorders their strength, we can weaken the grip they have on our clients. Just as there are many causes for eating disorders, it often takes a variety of strategies to treat them. Iris is confident that her team at the Nutrition Improvement Center can help provide a successful path for our clients to resume a healthy and balanced relationship with food and their bodies. Iris recently graduated from the ARISE intervention program where she received her certification in family coaching and intervention work for addiction. She believes that the addiction model has a place in the eating disorder recovery process.

Note: We’re celebrating three amazing years of the Understanding Disordered Eating podcast! Just as a reminder, this is the last episode for the next two weeks! We will be back on September 10th. In the meantime, catch up on our older episodes—they're still gems!

"Eating disorders just don't happen fully. It starts sometimes as innocently as having a diet.” - Iris Epstein

"When you remove the substance, then their brain feels relief and calm. When it's there, their brains go into more of a depressed mode, an anxious mode." - Iris Epstein

"You have to reestablish good connections with people. And I think that's where the secrecy and everything comes into play." - Iris Epstein

"Eating disorders are a coping mechanism for survival." - Iris Epstein

Connect with Iris Epstein here!

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