Emotionally Intelligent Parenting with Stephanie Pinto

76: The Legendary Alfie Kohn on Time-Outs, Accidental Manipulation and 'Motivating' Kids.


Listen Later

Ok - big moment you guys. I’m excited (and somewhat embarrassed!) to share this special conversation with you—one that originally aired back in 2022 in my Facebook community Let's Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids.


Looking back, I can’t help but cringe! I was SO nervous and excited to be speaking with the universal expert on parenting, education, and human behaviour: Alfie Kohn.


Let’s just say I wasn’t as polished or professional as I am now… but the insights and wisdom? They’re just as powerful today as they were then.


Alfie Kohn, renowned author of Punished by Rewards, No Contest, The Homework Myth, and my personal favourite, Unconditional Parenting, (plus many others!) brings his groundbreaking research and passion for progressive education to this chat.


In this episode, we dive into:

🔍 Why rewards can be just as harmful as punishments for children.

💡 What people really mean when they say, "I want to motivate my child" (spoiler: it’s often about compliance).

🎭 The hidden problems with praise—especially those high-pitched, "good job!" moments.

🚫 The true impact of time-outs and forcible isolation on kids’ emotional well-being.


One of the most profound ideas we explored? The belief that we need to reinforce kids to behave a certain way. This comes from a hidden assumption that children aren’t naturally inclined to do well on their own—and it’s time we rethink that.


I’m so grateful Alfie agreed to let me share this conversation here on the podcast—it’s one you won’t want to miss.


***

 

If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. Email us at [email protected] and send me your thoughts, feedback or questions!

 

Have you joined my Facebook Group for parents? There are over 130,000 parents in the community! 🎉

➡️ www.facebook.com/groups/letsraiseemotionallyintelligentkids

 

Hi! I am an Emotional Intelligence best-selling author, award-winning coach and international speaker. I'm also a paediatric anxiety therapist (and previous speech language pathologist!) and I love helping people use emotional intelligence to become calmer, more connected and live happier lives!

 

Book a consult with me to discuss coaching, support, collaborations or speaking engagements.

 

💡 Head to www.stephaniepinto.com

Or stalk me on the socials...

Insta: www.instagram.com/emotionally.intelligent.parent

FB: fb.com/stephpinto

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Emotionally Intelligent Parenting with Stephanie PintoBy Stephanie Pinto

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

19 ratings


More shows like Emotionally Intelligent Parenting with Stephanie Pinto

View all
ADHD Experts Podcast by ADDitude

ADHD Experts Podcast

1,331 Listeners

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled by JLML Press

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

3,665 Listeners

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children by Debbie Reber

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

982 Listeners

Minimalist Moms Podcast | Simple Living for Overwhelmed Moms by Diane Boden

Minimalist Moms Podcast | Simple Living for Overwhelmed Moms

976 Listeners

Beautifully Complex by Penny Williams

Beautifully Complex

350 Listeners

Calm Parenting Podcast by Kirk Martin

Calm Parenting Podcast

1,454 Listeners

3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms by Cloud10

3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

2,317 Listeners

The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast by That Sounds Fun Network

The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast

2,115 Listeners

Maximized Minimalist Podcast by Katy Wells

Maximized Minimalist Podcast

921 Listeners

Raising Good Humans by Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Raising Good Humans

1,892 Listeners

Good Inside with Dr. Becky by Dr. Becky Kennedy

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

4,550 Listeners

This Is So Awkward by Peoples Media, This Is So Awkward

This Is So Awkward

330 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,393 Listeners

At Peace Parents Podcast by Casey

At Peace Parents Podcast

350 Listeners

Shining With ADHD by The Childhood Collective by The Childhood Collective

Shining With ADHD by The Childhood Collective

137 Listeners