Turns Out I'm Into It!

#91: The Single Most Important Skill in Kink (That You Can Learn Right Now)


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What if I told you there was one skill that could make you more attractive as a play partner, safer to play with, and help you create hotter, more connected scenes?

In this solo episode, I dive into what I believe is the most important skill in kink: attunement.

We explore:

šŸ”¹ What attunement is
Ā šŸ”¹ How to attune to yourself and how to attune to others
Ā šŸ”¹ Why attunement is crucial for both Doms and subs
Ā šŸ”¹ What gets in the way of staying present during play
Ā šŸ”¹ How attunement makes scenes hotter, deeper, and more emotionally fulfilling

šŸŽ This episode includes TWO free guided exercises you can use to start practising attunement today—either solo or with a partner. These are powerful tools to help you tune in, connect, and get more out of your kink scenes right away.

Whether you’re brand new to kink or have been in the scene for years, this episode is a powerful reminder that technique means nothing without genuine connection.

Mentioned in this Episode

  • Episode #89 Kink in a Small Town and Finding My Brave

1) Self Attunement ExerciseĀ 

  1. Set a timer for 5 minutes.
  2. Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable. Close your eyes.
  3. Gently scan your body from head to toe.
    • What sensations do you notice?
    • Are there any areas of tension, warmth, pressure, openness, tingling?
  4. Pick one sensation that stands out. Stay with it for a minute.
    • Does it shift? Intensify? Fade?
    • What emotion might be connected to it?
  5. Ask: What does this part of me need?
    • A breath? Movement? A hand placed there?
    • Respond with a small, compassionate action.

2) Attuning to a Partner Exercise

  1. Sit facing each other. Set a timer for 5–10 minutes.
  2. Choose one person to be the "noticer" and one to be the "receiver."
  3. The noticer silently observes the receiver’s body—posture, breath, expression, energy.
  4. Ask internally: What do I notice?Ā 
  5. Offer your observations gently (e.g., ā€œI noticed your shoulders softened when I smiled.ā€)
  6. Swap roles. At the end, reflect:
    • What was it like to be seen that way?
    • What did you learn about your partner?

Curious about one-on-one coaching? Book a free Connection Call with Harley at harleyrabbit.com

xx Harley 🐰

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Turns Out I'm Into It!By Harley Rabbit

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