Latter Day Struggles

95: Our Primary Task in Life is Not Marriage!


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Series Title: Psychological Health Check on LDS Theology of Marriage & Family [Part I of XII]

In this multi-part series, Valerie and therapist colleague Brannon Patrick begin to unpack the very multifaceted doctrine of eternal marriage and all of its complex  implications in the real lives of real people, often finding the “plan of happiness” feeling more like the “plan of sadness” as life progresses in ways that almost inevitably do not line up with what doctrine frames as the ideal and only way to reach heaven.

Valerie and Brannon open this series by introducing a framework for human growth that emphasizes that the primary task in life is for each of us to realize our own fullest and unique potential and that the healthiest framework within which to realize this self growth is one where one's growth is celebrated, even as it departs from one set, rigid, predetermined framework. 

This model makes space for ALL women and men and does not diminish one’s salvation potential based on earthly or even heavenly relationship constellation.

This philosophy opens the way for persons of all sexual/gender orientations who are:

  1. single (never married, divorced, widowed),
  2. the married couple where one partner is non-religious or practices any other religion, and
  3. the married couple where one person is expanding in the LDS faith and no longer conforming to various forms of dogma.

In this more expansive way of looking at human development, God’s children are able to more fully partake in a truly all-inclusive plan of happiness. 

In this re-imagined plan of growth, our close relationships [intimate and otherwise] are experienced as an expansive, unconditionally loving supportive network. 

This sounds like heaven to us…Because this framework is grounded in realizing every human’s growth potential and infinite worth.


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Latter Day StrugglesBy Valerie Hamaker

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