Tonya Lester, LCSW, is the author of Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself and a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and writer. Her essay, "Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself" was published in the Modern Love column in The New York Times, and she has been writing the popular Staying Sane Inside Insanity blog for Psychology Today since 2020.

Tonya is a well known couples therapist, so it's particularly juicy and important that we're going to talk about struggles Tonya faced in her own marriage, and how she and her husband worked through them in couples therapy.

Here's some of what we talked about:

• The conflict that landed them in couples therapy
• Being challenged by their couples therapist
• How Tonya and her husband changed their pattern
• The difference between a deal-breaker issue and a grappling issue
• Tonya's thoughts on secure attachment and attachment bonds
• How her own work as a couples therapist changed after being a client

Show notes at https://anniezam.com/podcast/255