Host: Rosalia Rivera

Guest: Anna Sonoda, licensed clinical social worker and author of Duck Duck Groom: Understanding How a Child Becomes a Target

Duration: 50:04

Release Date: February 12, 2025

[00:00] Welcome & Introduction
I introduce my guest, Anna Sonoda, and share why her book, Duck Duck Groom, is an essential read for parents.

[02:22] Anna’s Background & How She Started This Work
Anna talks about her journey as a clinical social worker and what led her to work with sex offenders. She explains how sitting face-to-face with offenders gave her insights into their thought processes and behaviors.

[04:34] What Grooming Really Looks Like
Anna breaks down the four stages of grooming—flattery, favoritism, forbidden fruits, and fear—and explains why most predators don’t fit the "creepy stranger" stereotype.

[07:11] The Limitations of the Sex Offender Registry
We discuss why relying on the sex offender registry isn’t enough and why most predators never end up on it.

[12:31] How Groomers Target Parents First
Predators don’t just groom children—they groom adults too. Anna explains the tactics offenders use to build trust with caregivers to gain access to kids.

[20:13] How Offenders Groom Entire Communities
We talk about the ways predators manipulate entire social circles, making it difficult for people to believe allegations when they arise.

[26:55] Red Flags & Early Warning Signs
Anna shares key behaviors to watch for, both in adults and children, that could indicate grooming.

[32:46] The Power of Showing Up
We discuss why parental presence is one of the strongest protective factors against abuse and why being the “unpredictable parent” can deter predators.

[36:08] Peer-on-Peer Abuse is Rising—Here’s What You Need to Know
Anna highlights the alarming rise in peer-on-peer abuse and how easy access to pornography is shaping harmful behaviors among kids.

[41:44] How to Talk to Kids About Grooming & Body Safety
We go over practical ways to start age-appropriate conversations with kids about staying safe, recognizing red flags, and setting boundaries.

[46:34] Where to Find Anna’s Book & Final Thoughts
Anna shares where listeners can find Duck Duck Groom and her additional resources for parents and survivors.

Anna Sonoda's Book:

• Duck Duck Groom: Understanding How a Child Becomes a Target is available on Amazon.

Anna Sonoda's Website:

• For more resources and information, visit Anna Sonoda's official website.

Additional Resources:

• Anna has been featured in various interviews and podcasts discussing child safety and grooming prevention. You can find these appearances on her "Listen and Watch Here" page.

annasonoda.com

annasonoda.com

amazon.com

Links mentioned in this episode:

BARK Technologies

Titania Jordan on Instagram

About Titania Jordan:

Titania Jordan is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Parent Officer of Bark Technologies, an online safety company that helps keep kids safe online and in real life.

A renowned thought leader on digital parenting, Titania has contributed to pieces in the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Huffington Post, Fox Business, Daily Mail, USA Today, Vogue, and more. Her first book, Parenting in a Tech World, was published in 2020 and quickly became a bestseller on Amazon. Titania was also featured in the 2020 documentary Childhood 2.0. She also frequently appears as a subject matter expert on nationally broadcasted programs such as the TODAY Show, Steve Harvey, The Doctors, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, Fox News, Sirius XM Radio, and CNBC.

In 2017, Titania founded a Facebook group where parents could come together and get advice on raising kids in the digital age, share stories, and learn the latest news about social media. It now has more than 300,000 members and is growing rapidly.

One of her favorite childhood memories is her dad asking her to “figure out this new computer thing” (i.e., read the Microsoft Windows 3.0 user manual) in the early ‘90s and later teaching him to navigate the wild west of the early internet that would eventually turn into the online world we know today.

When she’s not busy trying to make the world a safer place for kids, Titania enjoys painting with her son.

For the latest news regarding parenting in a tech world, you can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and yes, TikTok as well. For a link to Titania’s recent media appearances, visit Bark in the News.

Here are the links from the show:

• Take Action link (emails to Apple and the petition): https://protectchildrennotabuse.org/take-action/ 
• Follow and Engage with the HEAT Initiative (and sign up for their newsletter)
  • Heat Website
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
• THORN blog explaining KOSA (Kids Online Safety Act)

The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) is an organization based in the United Kingdom that works to combat the distribution of online child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and other illegal content. Established in 1996, the IWF operates as an independent, self-regulatory body supported by the internet industry, law enforcement agencies, and the government.

The main objective of the IWF is to minimize the availability of CSAM on the internet and protect children from online exploitation. They achieve this by actively searching for and removing illegal content hosted on websites worldwide. When the IWF identifies explicit or abusive material, they work closely with internet service providers (ISPs) to have the content blocked or taken down.

The IWF also operates a hotline that allows members of the public to report suspected instances of CSAM found online. These reports are assessed by the IWF's analysts, who then take appropriate action to have the illegal content removed and ensure that the relevant authorities are notified.

Additionally, the IWF plays a vital role in providing support and guidance to internet industry partners, helping them establish policies and practices to prevent the distribution of illegal content on their platforms. They collaborate with law enforcement agencies both nationally and internationally, sharing information and intelligence to aid in investigations and prosecution of offenders.

Learn more about the foundation here.

Read the blog post I review in the episode here.

This episode was brought to you by CONSENTparenting. 

Learn more about CONSENTparenting here.

TIME STAMPS:

Introduction of the episode. (0:00)

The Internet Watch Foundation’s report. (2:02)

What are the categories of indecent images? (3:44)

Explaining the definition of child sexual abuse. (6:08)

The results of the investigation. (10:44)

What objects were being used for penetration? (12:03)

A global crisis of our era. (14:06)

Is child sexual abuse on the rise? (18:02)

The rise of online abuse. (19:57)

What is online safety? (22:15)

Jane, Hope and Maria, along with Brandy Black and Fiona Ward joined forces to create the non profit organization 5waves.org to help other families affected by SSA.

In this episode, we talked about:

• The prevalence of child sexual abuse in the home
• Why this type of abuse is so often NOT discovered
• Acknowledging those who have been harmed
• The stigma of disclosing a child’s abuse
• The importance of communication
• Hope’s story of discovering the abuse between her children
• The challenges of finding help and information
• How children determine what’s inappropriate/unsafe
• The importance of teaching body safety and specifics
• Vigilance and conversations in the home
• What are the next steps if abuse is discovered
• The emotional toll on all family members
• The need for therapy and treatment for children & parents
• How to get support as a parent when people judge you

Learn more about 5 Waves and other organizations working together to fight this issue.

• www.siblingsexualtrauma.com
• www.5waves.org
• www.siblingstoo.com
• www.ssarc.co.uk/
• Parents Coping With Sibling Sexual Abuse and Trauma https://www.facebook.com/groups/siblingtrauma
• Peer Support Group For Survivors of Childhood Sibling Sexual Abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/646423866554980

Social Media Links:

5WAVES IG: https://www.instagram.com/5wavesorg/

Maria IG: https://www.instagram.com/mariasocolofauthor/

Hope IG: https://www.instagram.com/hopesittler/

Jane IG:https://www.instagram.com/jane_complicatedcourage/

This episode was brought to you by CONSENTparenting™

Learn more at consentparenting.com

“CONTENT WARNING” AND “TRIGGER WARNING.”

Erin Merryn joins me to talk about Erin's Law that mandates schools to provide body safety education for grades K-12 in the United States. 38 states have passed the law and in this episode we talk about why she became a champion for schools to teach this education and what the results have been since passing the law in those states. She shares her own personal story of survival, and leadership.

Time Stamps:

0:02 Intro 

2:30 What Is Erin's Law

7:10 Erin's Story of Abuse

9:33 Erin's diary as an outlet for anger

14:13 When predators are getting away with abusing one child

16:45 Children's advocacy centers

23:20 What did his sister do?

30:14 Erin's Law in Ohio

33:26 What's the fear of Planned Parenthood

38:16 What can parents do to advocate for this law

41:18 The importance of writing a letter to your legislator

46:53 Principals' lunch buddies program

49:56 If the law is not passed, this is what needs to be talked about in schools

56:24 What parents can do to reduce the risk of sexual abuse

Links Mentioned:

Erin's Law Website

Erin Merryn's Website

Erin

This episode was brought to you by CONSENTparenting™

Learn more at consentparenting.com

In this episode we cover:

• The orgasm gap and what it is.
• What cliteracy is and why it's important to become cliterate.
• How the orgasm gap is affecting heterosexual relationships in the bedroom
• What survivors should know about reclaiming their sexuality through becoming cliterate
• How media and mainstream pornography affect the orgasm gap
• How our use of language impacts our perspective of pleasure

I know you'll learn so much about how you have the power to enjoy your sexuality and reclaim it, little by little or at whatever pace works best for YOU!

ABOUT DR. LAURIE MINTZ:

Dr. Laurie Mintz is a feminist author, therapist, professor, and speaker whose life’s work has been committed to helping people live more authentic, meaningful, and joyful lives through the art and science of psychology.

As a tenured Professor at the University of Florida, she teaches the Psychology of Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduate students each year. She also teaches and mentors graduate students in both their clinical and research training, helping them to find their own niche as psychologists. Dr. Mintz has published over 50 research articles in academic journals and six chapters in academic books. She has received numerous professional and teaching awards. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating that her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology.

She is the author of two popular press books—both written with the aim of empowering women sexually:Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It (HarperOne, 2017) and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship (Adams Media, 2009).

With this same goal of providing scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance female pleasure, Dr. Mintz also writes a popular Psychology Today blog. She also gives presentations and workshops to professionals and lay audiences and is often quoted in national and international media.

For over 25 years, Dr. Mintz has also maintained a small private practice, working with both individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. One of her greatest honors is supporting her clients during difficult times, as well as helping them make positive changes and reach life goals.

You can connect with Dr. Laurie Mintz and her work at:

WEBSITE :

https://www.drlauriemintz.com/

INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/drlauriemintz/

FACEBOOK:

https://www.facebook.com/DrLaurieMintz/

YOUTUBE:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/Laurie Mintz

TWITTER:

https://twitter.com/drlauriemintz?lang=en

EPISODE SPONSOR:

CONSENTparenting™

CHILD PREDATOR PROTECTION MASTERCLASS:

www.aboutconsent.com/protect

Use code: PODCAST to get 50% off this class

“CONTENT WARNING” AND “TRIGGER WARNING.”

This episode contains content that may be alarming to some listeners. Please check the show notes for more detailed descriptions and take care of yourself.

What would you do if you witnessed a family member being sexually abused? 

Yamisel Pence found her calling when she had to answer that very question. 

In this episode, Yami shares with us her journey as a police officer, ICAC, SVU detective, and then as an educator to parents. 

Some cases have a positive outcome where the abused child can receive the support they need. It is never too late to report, just like in the Josh Duggar case. However negative outcome cases happen too often. 

Why is that? Sometimes it has to do with how the parent responds to a child’s accusation. Yami’s goal is to teach parents on how to respond, pick up on grooming signs, and what questions to ask so their child can feel safe. 

About Yami Pence:

Yami Pence is a former Internet Crimes Against Children, Child Exploitation, and Special Victims Unit Detective from South Florida, who currently educates parents, schools, and churches on how to Keep Our Kids Safe from abuse on the internet and in real life. 

Links Mentioned: 

Staysafewithyami.com

consentwear.com

Instagram @YamiPence

TikTok StaySafewithYami

This episode was brought to you by CONSENTparenting™

Learn more at consentparenting.com

Links for Pam Covarrubias:

https://www.spreadideasmovepeople.com/tapping

https://www.instagram.com/cobiux/

Links for Maria Elena Perez:

https://www.instagram.com/maria.elenaperez/

Pam Covarrubias 

Pam is dynamically skilled as a Liberation Business Coach, EFT Practitioner, Podcaster, and Recovering Procrastinator. She primarily spends her time elevating first-generation business owners by helping them remove the shame around making money and connecting to their inner voice so they can create liberated business practices.
She dreams of co-creating a future where work supports everyone without glorifying productivity and by honoring our inner energy seasons. Pam's approach is a dance between practical success strategy and intuitive personal discovery that helps humans stay true to their unique story as we decolonize business practices.

Pam's goal is to remove the damages Calladita Culture™️ has instilled in first-generation humans in the United States. A topic she explores in her weekly podcast Cafe con Pam, staying quiet and submissive is not a stance she supports.

Pam guides her clients to honor their heritage while leveraging the resiliency they've built as they've navigated existing in two cultures.

Pam is grounded in the teachings of mother earth, her mother and grandmothers' wisdom, as well as technically trained in Clinical EFT. She holds a Life Coaching Certification, Crystal Healing Practitioner Certification. Pam is also rooted in practical knowledge from her BFA, certificate in Women in Entrepreneurship by Cornell University, and additional business trainings she's attended.

She is honored to have been named one of the best Latinx Podcast to listen to by Oprah in 2020 and 2021. When Pam isn't guiding her clients to create liberated business models, you can find her drawing, getting lost in the woods with her partner David and dog Thor.

Maria Elena Pérez:

Maria Elena Pérez has 15 years of experience in social justice organizations, including ten years in executive leadership.

She is the founder of HealSana, LLC and an organizational consultant and trauma-informed healing practitioner with Strategies for Social Change.

Maria Elena worked at both local and national organizations including the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Justice, the National Institute for Reproductive Health, and Make the Road New York. During her career, she’s been a bilingual spokesperson on social and reproductive justice issues, led during critical leadership transitions, and has played key roles in facilitating organizational development and change management processes internally.

Maria Elena is also a Certified Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner and works 1:1 and in group programs with women of color to heal generational patterns, wounds, and traumas.

A Licensed Master Social Worker in the State of New York, Maria Elena holds an M.S.W. from the City University of New York, Hunter College, and a B.S. from New York University. She is a first-generation Latina born to Dominican and Puerto Rican parents.

This episode was brought to you by CONSENTparenting™ 

Learn more at consentparenting.com