We’ve all heard of “fight, flight, freeze,” but there’s a fourth survival instinct that’s harder to spot. “Fawning” can look like people-pleasing, and it’s often applauded in society. But over time, it can wear down your ability to feel safe when someone close to you feels unhappy, disappointed or upset. And it can lead to overly focusing on what other people think, instead of being in-tune with yourself. 

So how do you know when you’re fawning? Today’s guest, psychotherapist Meg Josephson suggests asking yourself, “Am I abandoning myself to keep the peace?” In her conversation with Leah, Meg explains where the fawn response comes from, how it can impact your relationships and day-to-day life, and solutions for how to deal with it in different contexts. 

Order Meg’s book Are You Mad at Me? How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You here. 

Follow Leah Smart and Meg Josephson on LinkedIn.