At a Total Loss

*Recoded prior to Halloween*...Holidays after baby loss are so weird. I'll also share insight from other mamas on how they've dealt in the past and the advice they have moving forward. Ways to honor our babies will also be shared as this is a huge struggle, especially in the beginning.

Here's what I tackle:

• Declining invites to holiday events
• Handling Triggering people
• Halloween and all the death
• Having living kids while mourning during the holidays.
• Thanksgiving and how I've handled it so far
• Christmas and ways to honor.

And holidays change and evolve as time moves forward. I recorded one of these the holidays after I lost Brody. And I'm entering into my 3rd season and things are very different. So no matter what phase you're in, it might help to hear how it does change with time. Main point: YOU'RE SO NOT ALONE

These are my viewpoints and topics that I sought out information about. This is the advice I give and share with you all based off hundreds of conversations I've had. I hope that i helps as we navigate one of the hardest times of the year.

PODCAST BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOSSLINK.COM, I private community of bereaved mothers looking to connect through DMs or Discussions with those in their area or about similar loss experiences.

Helpful mentions: @andthatsgrief on IG and @talliadeljou

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Rio is a psychotherapist and grief integration coach, specializing in helping individuals and couples navigate the profound and complex journey of loss and trauma. With a somatic and psychodynamic lens, Rio helps clients heal and rebuild using both the power of the mind and body for long-term resilience and change. Her mission is to help those who feel stuck and powerless in the aftermath of tragedy find their way to a new version of themselves with radical compassion and unapologetic clarity.

Y'alllll this episode is just so so needed. It shines light on what A LOT of us deal with when it comes to relationships after loss and how we are impacted by the secondary loss of them.

What we discuss:

• How to deal with people who don't get it
• Trauma dumping on people we love
• How grief affects the body
• How people treat you and those that don't show up
• Secondary losses
• Other cultures and their grief
• How society treats grievers
• Her grief therapy and Somatic EMDR therapy.

She is just wonderful! Here is how you can access her amazing services:

Contact her for 1:1

On Instagram:  @andthatsgrief

She is constantly doing free workshops so follow her for the latest!

THIS PODCAST BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOSSLINK. Join here: LOSSLINK.COM

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Jillian is the founder of Courage in Time Inc., a nonprofit supporting families who have experienced stillbirth and infant loss through curated bereavement boxes, grief and postpartum resources, and connection to other bereaved families. She established this courageous space after her son Lorenzo died in the NICU at 12 days old. She is inspirational and relatable and all things that show how much she loves her son and is willing to help others walking this horrible path of life after baby loss.

JOIN LOSSLINK to connect with other mothers with similar loss: https://www.losslink.com/

Check the website here: https://www.courageintime.com/

Purchase boxes here: https://www.courageintime.com/courage-box

Fine her on IG at https://www.instagram.com/courage_in_time/?hl=en

Email her at [email protected]

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop 

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

• https://countthekicks.org/
• https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/
• https://www.pushpregnancy.org/
• https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

I chat with Lyndsay about her precious second son, Kove, who was born still at 37 weeks just a little over a year ago. That is when her grief and baby loss journey began. Since then she has started Kove's Keeper, a bereavement care package for parents suffering stillbirth & infant loss in the local hospitals. Devastation has since happened again as Lyndsay suffered a miscarriage since Kove's death. She is now currently pregnant for the 4th time and we discuss the challenges of pregnancy after loss. Lyndsay is also very open about her faith in God & how she has managed this relationship.

Lyndsay is a sweet soul just wanting to parent Kove the best way she can and to help other Loss Moms out there. If you'd like to speak with her, find her on IG @_lyndsburns_ or shoot her an email at [email protected]

Find other Loss Moms to connect with at LossLink.com! Use code BRODY18 to get your first month for $1.

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

• https://countthekicks.org/
• https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/
• https://www.pushpregnancy.org/
• https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Kimberly Isburg, Communications Manager for Count the Kicks and Healthy Birth Day, joins me to discuss the importance of tracking fetal movement and the mission that she is on with her team to make preventable stillbirth a thing of the past.

I of course chime in with my own personal experiences regarding Brody and tracking movement in my subsequent pregnancies.

There is a lot of info in this podcast and it is good for anyone who is pregnant or planning to become pregnant, even without loss. VITAL information!

We mention a lot of great resources. Check out the links below:

• Here is the Evidence page for Count the Kicks: https://countthekicks.org/why-we-count/evidence/
• Here is the App Download page: https://countthekicks.org/download-app/
• Healthy Birth Day Website: https://healthybirthday.org/
• Stillbirth Prevention Act page: https://healthybirthday.org/advocacy/stillbirth-prevention-act/

Watch us on the At a Total Loss podcast YouTube channel! https://youtu.be/JPYrIiMfe2U

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

• Some helpful resources:
• https://countthekicks.org/
• https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/
• https://www.pushpregnancy.org/
• https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

I break down 3 popular topics after baby loss.

• What triggers us & how we react to it
• The grief spirals that come out of nowhere & how they are not setbacks
• Having zero tolerance for others complaining

Y'all talk to me about these things ALL the time on instagram and I'm diving in to explain my thoughts as well as the feedback I've gotten from 100s of mommas about them. I may or may not go on a small rant (lol) but hey whatever, that's how I roll. So, whether you agree or not on everything, I hope that some of it helps you feel less alone & validated for the complicated experiences and feelings we have after we lose our babies.

Want to connect with other Loss Moms? Go to LossLink.com to find those that have experienced similar loss and connect with like minded Loss Moms!

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Catherine is the mother to her TWO angel babies, Brooklyn (11/29/16) and Miles (12/7/17 - 12/14/17) and her now miracle baby, Lux. Catherine's experiences have covered a range of "rare" circumstances. We discuss ALL of it. She has faced an incompetent cervix, placental abruption, disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC), the NICU, a journey with a gestational carrier and miscarriages. After thinking she would never be able to physically carry another baby, she carried her miracle baby, Lux, to 37 weeks in 2021. Almost 8 years after her first loss, she shows us that grief has no expiration and how she includes all of her babies in their family today.

Check out her Podcast: Angel Moms Sisterhood

Instagram: @angelmoms.sisterhood

YouTube: @angelmomssisterhood

Email: [email protected]

JOIN THE LOSSLINK WAITLIST HERE

Or if it's after July 18th, go to LossLink.com

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

I tackle THE most requested topic from my followers "how do handle anxiety during pregnancy after loss". So I polled and here I read off all the things y'all sent to me regarding this topic. You will hear be reading so if watching it helps, go to my At a Total Loss Youtube page :)...Here is what I talk about:

• Trying to conceive & how to know you're ready
• Ultrasounds
• Hope vs anxiety
• What you can control vs what you cannot
• Having a game plan/protocol
• Coping with crippling anxiety
• Announcing vs waiting to announce
• At home Dopplers
• Intuition vs fear
• Guidance from our Angel Babies or Signs from them
• MEDICATION DURING PREGNANCY
• What was helpful during PAL.
• omg and so much more...

I CANNOT stress this enough: consult with all of your medical professionals, research and do what's best for you based off an educated position. I am NOT a doctor so everything I say is based off MY personal experiences and all the experiences that were shared with me through my audience.

Links to things I mentioned in the episode:

LossLink coming soon! Join this private community of loss moms who want to connect virtually or in person. Sign up for the waiting list here: LossLink Waitlist

Count the Kicks

The book "Spirit Babies'

The book "Signs"

Message me if there are any I didn't include that you want.

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Amanda, Junie's Mama, comes on to talk about getting your Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Birth Plan together. Juniper was born still at 38 weeks due to an undiagnosed small placenta (if you want to hear the whole story, find the episode 'Amanda + Juniper'). Since then, Amanda has been a huge advocate for preventative care as well as a resource for so many mama's who have experienced a tragic loss.

We know how much fear there is around the birth of the baby after loss, so Amanda has a list of things that we can think about doing to prepare. We also dive into protocols & preventative measures for the pregnancy as we found that having a game plan helped so much while navigating this scary time.

Helpful Tools & Resources:

ACOG recommendations:  Google Doc

Count the Kicks:  Info

Measure The Placenta:  Info Here

Dr Harvey Kliman at Yale:  Website

Find Amanda on IG at @orangeafmama

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar (watch this episode here!)

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Molly talks about her precious Roman who was stillborn at full term just over a year ago. Molly provides insight on her faith, her support group, and gives advice to anyone who is afraid to experience joy after baby loss. We also talk about signs and how she whole heartedly believes she receives them letting her know Roman is ok. The stories will give you chills.

Find Molly on IG at @champagnegetaway 

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/