At a Total Loss

I’m opening up about the reality of pregnancy after loss, the cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy that led to emergency surgery, and the quieter work of figuring out how to keep living when grief keeps reopening old wounds.

In this episode, I talk through what happened this summer—from the first worrying ultrasound to the devastating diagnosis, surgery, and the emotional aftermath. I share how this experience brought me back to the pain of Brody’s death, reignited old triggers, and made me confront what healing looks like when both your body and heart have been through trauma.

I very colorfully talk about:

If you’ve ever felt blindsided by grief, alienated by conversations meant to be supportive, or wondered how to move forward when life keeps taking hits, I hope this conversation meets you where you are.

This is a heavy episode, but not a hopeless one. I’m still here, still processing, still building, and still choosing the things that make life feel livable. Sometimes survival looks like coffee, wallpaper, and taking one honest day at a time...sprinkled with a bunch of F bombs, let's be real.

Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Podcast is moving to YouTube! Don't worry, all episodes up until now will still be available on Spotify and Apple. But moving forward, our home will be on YouTube @thekatherinelazar where I'll be sharing more videos, insight, and content around life after stillbirth. 

In this episode I talk about:

Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

There was a time when I thought surviving a stillbirth meant I had already lived through the worst thing imaginable. Then I miscarried.

In this episode, I'm sharing what I learned from experiencing a miscarriage after stillbirth—and why it challenged so much of what I thought I knew about grief, hope, healing, and myself. This isn't a chronological retelling of what happened. It's an honest conversation about the lessons that came from losing another baby: why you never become "used to" loss, how trauma changes the way your body experiences pregnancy, why hope can feel terrifying after heartbreak, and how rebuilding a life doesn't mean leaving your babies behind.

Whether you've experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, or any kind of profound loss, I hope this episode reminds you that healing isn't linear, grief evolves, and it's possible to carry both heartbreak and hope at the same time.

We'll talk about:

If you've ever wondered whether you'll be able to hope again after loss, this episode is for you.

Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival

*************************************

This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

I hate when people say we are "Overprotective"...No, that's not it. We are SUPER AWARE of what can happen. This means we know the potential outcomes, we take necessary steps to prevent, we know what we can control and what we can't, we have a plan in place if something bad happens, we are no longer ignorant. We are experienced....unwantingly so...

We come from a loss lens. We see things differently now. We have had the unimaginable happen to us and to our babies. Now what? Well, now we look at things through awareness. We can read situations, people, things, ourselves, etc. I hate it here but here we are. 

If you are navigating anything in this life, especially parenting after loss, I hope this helps. You are doing your best, through all the spirals, meltdowns, anxiety, panic attacks, sheer fear, you're amazing. Keep going, I got you, I'm right there with you...

Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival

*************************************

This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

WE'RE BACK! omg i'm sorry y'all, life has been lifing! The book launched, my living son turned 3, we are showing our house to sell it, we are trying to expand out family, and i'm just living the grief dream! But I accidentally put the podcast aside, and I didn't even mean to...But it's back and it's not going anywhere!...

My grief has changed because my life has changed and now at the 4.5 year mark, I want to talk about how normal life is with pain and joy at the same time. So this episode is about healing and how it's NOT a betrayal to our babies.

It's so freakin hard you guys, like, the first year is suffocating and all we can do is survive, then we kind of come up for air and decide we want to try healing from this (which by the way, for me means, living and functioning happily with grief by my side always).

How do we do that? Well that's the journey! I decided that I wanted to make Brody proud and live a life worth living. So I'm rebuilding and creating a life I love again. Healing is where it's at and that includes little joys, my family, friends, my mental health, creating a beautiful home, and a life I'm proud of.

Coming with me?? I hope so! :)

If you are new to Loss Life, please start the pod from the beginning. That is where I talk deep in the beginning of this journey and where it might resonate the most 

MY BOOK, Stillbirth Survival is now on AMAZON! Buy it HERE

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this deeply moving episode, I sit down with Jenny Kim as she shares the unimaginable story of losing her sweet son, Joey, at just six months old in a tragic accident in 2022. Jenny opens up about the devastating pain of child loss, the shock and trauma that followed, and the questions that can haunt a grieving parent.

As a medical professional, Jenny also speaks candidly about the added layer of heartbreak that came with being someone who was exceptionally careful, informed, and vigilant—yet still experiencing the unthinkable. We talk about the guilt, the “what ifs,” and the brutal reality that tragedy can happen even when everything is done “right.”

She also shares how she and her husband navigated grief both individually and together, the ways loss impacted their marriage and day-to-day life, and what it has looked like to continue living while carrying Joey with them. Most beautifully, Jenny talks about the ways she is honoring his life and carrying forward his legacy with love, purpose, and intention.

This is an honest conversation about love, trauma, survival, and what it means to keep a child’s memory alive.

Find Jenny and all her amazing work on Instagram at @whatjoeytaughtme

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I sit down with Lindsey, who has experienced the heartbreaking loss of two of her sweet babies.

We talk about the unfortunate care she received in the hospital, the regrets she has carried, and how those experiences have shaped her mission to help other mamas in need.

We also talk about the self-care journey of surviving while waiting for the time to try again for another living baby.

She is such a light, and I truly hope her words resonate with anyone walking this road. 🤍

Find her on Instagram: @giftsfromgiannella

Want to talk more about this episode? Book a time with me. My personalized 1:1 sessions are made to help you in whatever phase of loss life you're in. You don't have to do this alone. Book at KatherineLazar.com

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this solo episode, I’m talking about something that can feel complicated in grief… the gifts our babies leave us with.

And no—I don’t mean anything that takes away from the pain or tries to “silver line” their loss. I mean the real, undeniable ways they’ve changed us.

For a long time, I only knew Brody through pain. Through devastation. Through everything that was taken from me. But at some point, I realized… I didn’t want that to be the only way I carried him. So I started to see what else was there.

How deeply present I’ve become with the people I love.

How much more authentically I show up in my life.

How my perspective—shaped through grief—has created a version of me I’m actually proud of.

These are the gifts. And it’s okay to acknowledge them. It’s okay to lean into them.

It doesn’t mean you’re “moving on.” It means you’re moving with.

This is how we become the next version of ourselves—the one our babies made us.

And the reason we can be both heartbroken… and incredibly proud of them at the same time.

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I sit down with Marcela, a loss mom from South Florida whose first and only child, Alesandra, was stillborn two years ago. Since that devastating loss, Marcela has been on a journey to find answers, rebuild trust in her medical care, and navigate life after unimaginable grief.

Marcela shares how advocating for herself led her to a new medical team and eventually to the birth of her second daughter, sweet Natalia.

Now an active member of the Star Legacy Foundation, Marcela is passionate about supporting other bereaved parents and helping raise awareness around stillbirth.

She opens up about what the past two years of grief have really looked like, the healing she has found through community and advocacy, and the complex emotions of once believing she would be “one and done,” but now living life as the mother of two beautiful daughters — one in heaven and one in her arms.

This conversation is honest, hopeful, and a reminder that love for our babies never stops growing.

Find her on Instagram at @marcelavargas_fitness

*************************************

This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, Alissa returns to the podcast to share what life looks like 8 years after her daughter Anna was stillborn. If you want her full story, go back and listen to Episode #52 — we recorded that one 2.5 years ago, and hearing the evolution between then and now is powerful. 

We talk honestly about grief life then vs now, how pain shifts but never disappears, and what it looks like to rebuild identity, perspective, and purpose after loss. Alissa opens up about parenting after stillbirth, navigating layered grief after losing her sister the year before Anna, and the unexpected “gifts” our babies leave behind — even when the journey is brutally hard. 

If you’re newly walking this path, this episode offers real perspective on how things can change over time… while still honoring the parts that never will. And if you’re wondering how to keep your baby present as the years move forward, her insight is deeply grounding. 

Alissa has always been incredibly transparent, and I’m so grateful our paths crossed early in my own journey. 🤍 

Find Alissa on Instagram @lissables 

And her sweet creations @a.missing.stitch 

To register for 1:1 support or Group Sessions, go to KatherineLazar.com 

Find your Loss Mom Posse on LossLink.com! 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! 

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops! 

Find me here: Instagram @thekatherinelazar  

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar 

Website: www.katherinelazar.com     

Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/