At a Total Loss

In this episode, I’m answering your questions — the real ones. The ones you sent me quietly on Instagram. The ones that sit heavy in your chest at 2am. 

We’re talking about: 

– Have I actually found joy again… without constantly thinking my baby should be here? 

– How to handle not getting grace from the people around us 

– What to do when you feel like your body failed you 

– Navigating strained relationships after stillbirth 

– Trying to conceive again (TTC) and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it 

– Regrets about hospital decisions and the “what ifs” that won’t let go 

– Pregnancy after loss (PAL) and living in two realities at once 

– The anger that comes with feeling like you have to “start over” 

Nothing is off limits here. I share what this has looked like in my own life — the messy middle, the guilt, the growth, the perspective shifts that took years to land. I don’t offer perfect answers, because there aren’t any. But I do offer honesty. 

If you’ve ever wondered whether joy is allowed… If you’ve wrestled with resentment toward your body… If your relationships changed and you don’t recognize them anymore… If you’re TTC again while terrified… This episode is for you. 

You’re not dramatic. 

You’re not broken. 

You’re grieving. 

And I’m right here with you. ❤️‍🩹 

If you want to dive deeper, head to katherinelazar.com to book a 1:1 Virtual Support Call to unpack any of these topics. 

Follow me on IG @thekatherinelazar 

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today. 

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! 

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops! 

Find me here: 

Instagram @thekatherinelazar  

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar 

Website: www.katherinelazar.com   

Some helpful resources: https://countthekicks.org/ https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/ https://www.pushpregnancy.org/ https://www.tommys.org/   Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I talk about the most fantastic mess that is life after stillbirth. This is emotional whiplash at its finest...

Loss mamas are out here doing the damn thing every single day—showing up, parenting, working, laughing—and still grieving, spiraling, and holding a whole lot beneath the surface. Two things can be true at once, and they usually are.

I share a moment where I blurted out something dark but completely factual… and the person on the receiving end said absolutely nothing. We get into how grief conversations have evolved (or haven’t), why people don’t know what to do with us, and how wildly inappropriate things still get said to our faces—like, “I would have died if something happened to my baby.” Cool. Thanks. Super helpful.

This episode is about the messiness, the awkwardness, the growth, the rage, the humor, and the reality of living after stillbirth. It’s about surviving, adapting, and learning how to exist in a world that’s uncomfortable with our truth.

If you’re a loss mama trying to hold it together while falling apart, this one’s for you.

Welcome to the fantastic mess. 🖤

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This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Find me here:

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I talk about the part of grief that doesn’t fit the mold—the way loss makes you different, and how few people truly understand the way we navigate the world afterward. 

There’s an unexpected empowerment that comes from owning that difference. From letting go of how grief should look. From stopping the need to be understood. And from building a life after loss in the way you need to, not the way others expect. 

If you’ve ever felt like a misfit in your grief, about how you're doing this and am looking for guidance on owning it, this one is for you.

 JOIN LOSSLINK.COM to find your loss posse 

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 NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

 For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops! 

Instagram @thekatherinelazar  

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar 

Email: [email protected] 

Website: www.katherinelazar.com   

Some helpful resources: https://countthekicks.org/ 

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/ 

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/ 

https://www.tommys.org/   

Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I talk openly about God after the death of my son, Brody—what my faith looks like now, what it doesn’t, and how it has changed in ways I never expected. I share my honest thoughts, doubts, anger, comfort, and the quiet moments where belief feels complicated but still present.

I also dive into what it’s like to parent after loss—how grief shows up in anxiety, how it lives in my body and my thoughts, and the things that genuinely help me when the fear gets loud. This isn’t about having it all figured out; it’s about surviving, regulating, and finding ways to feel safe in a world that no longer feels predictable.

Finally, I talk about the way Brody’s death reshaped how I show up in the world. The attitude I try to carry. The energy I try to contribute. The way loss softened me, sharpened me, and changed how I treat others—and myself.

I also talk about a lot of other random stuff too LOL

This episode is for anyone navigating faith after loss, parenting with grief, or trying to live gently and intentionally after their world has been shattered.

You’re not alone here. 🤍

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Tis a new year my friends and honestly, it's the same shit. In this episode, I get super vulnerable you guys. I even go a little Tony Robbins on ya...

I will say I'm super proud of myself for what I did in 2025 when it came to my health and wellness. I went IN trying to get my physical health and mental health back on track. Like GLP-1s, I did Ketamine, back to working out consistently, bible study, being present with my babies, changing up career paths, getting grief coach and educator certified, finding that balance with motherhood and grief, and just trying to get ME back...

Well it was tough but I made it and I am proud but no one talks about that "Dig Out"...Where you have to consistently dig yourself out of a dark place all the time. It's honorable and shitty but we have to do it. I dive into this phenomena in hopes to hype you up and share that it's hard for me too.

This is real life, I'm always honest with y'all and I always will be.

Hope this helps mama <3

PODCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOSSLINK.COM. Find your loss link today!

DM me on Instagram @thekatherinelazar

or email me at [email protected]

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Carter's mama, Amy and I, first recorded 3.5 years ago, not long after we both lost our sons. At the time, we were still deep in survival mode—learning how to breathe, how to exist, how to live in a world that had permanently changed.

In this episode, we come back together to talk about life now.

We talk honestly about:

• Parenting after loss
• What grief looks like years later (spoiler: it doesn’t disappear)
• Expanding our families while still carrying our first babies with us
• The tension of joy and sorrow coexisting
• How motherhood after loss reshapes who you are, how you parent, and how you move through the world

This isn’t a “look how far we’ve come” conversation. It’s just a real one. Two moms with 2 on earth and one in the sky. 

Grief didn’t end. It evolved. Love didn’t shrink. It expanded. And our sons are still very much part of our everyday lives.

If you’re navigating parenting after loss, considering growing your family again, or wondering what life can look like years down the road—this conversation is for you.

Find Amy on Instagram:@amyycampisi

Her Charity Org Carters Classic Website

Find your Loss Posse at LOSSLINK.COM

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

This episode is for every loss mama — whether you’re in the first impossible weeks or years down the road trying to make sense of this new life.
I brought on two other loss mamas Terra's mom, Andrea (@grievinglikeamother and Juniper's mom, Amanda (@orangeafmama) and we just… talked. No scripts, no fixing, no pretending.
Just honest perspective on baby loss, parenting after loss, living kids, holidays, triggers, healing, and all the messy in-between.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it just me?” — it’s not.
Sit with us. Cry, laugh, nod along. You’re in the presence of three loss mama besties who get it in a way the world honestly never will.

Find them on IG at @grievinglikeamother and @orangeafmama

If you're looking for your Loss Posse go to LOSSLINK.com to search for mamas just like you.

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

It’s my birthday — the fourth one since losing Brody — and this episode is as raw and real as it gets. I’m unpacking what birthdays feel like after loss, how healing actually looks in year four, and what life is like right now: therapy, hospital stays with my living son, and the everyday chaos that somehow keeps me grounded.

Sprinkled with stories, a few F-bombs, and a whole lot of iced coffee, this is the most unfiltered glimpse into my world — a loss mama just doing the damn thing.

✨ Coming soon: new support groups, 1:1 mentoring, and more spaces to connect. I’m officially a Certified Grief Coach, and I’m pouring everything I’ve got into serving this community in deeper ways.

Check out katherinelazar.com for updates, sessions, and all things Loss Life.

SHOP THE MERCH! https://at-a-total-loss.myshopify.com/

Find your loss posse on LOSSLINK.COM!

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I sit down with the founder of Evermore Adoption Consultants, Kristin Van Hoff, a birth mother whose own adoption story inspired her to build something extraordinary. Out of her personal experience came a mission rooted in love, integrity, and the belief that every family deserves clarity and compassion on their journey to adoption.

We explore what makes adoption such a complex and emotional process, why domestic adoption can feel so overwhelming, and how Evermore provides families with the tools, education, and support they need to move forward with confidence.

You’ll learn how Evermore stands apart from traditional referral-based services—serving families across all 50 states, partnering only with licensed agencies and attorneys, and maintaining the highest ethical standards every step of the way.

Whether you’re beginning your adoption journey or searching for trusted guidance, this conversation is a reminder that with knowledge and compassion, family is always possible.

WEBSITE: https://evermoreadoptionconsultants.com/

FIND YOUR LOSS POSSE ON LOSSLINK.COM!

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Gabriela Rosa, DrPH (Candidate, Harvard), is a Harvard-awarded fertility specialist, founder of The Rosa Institute, and author of Fertility Breakthrough: Overcoming Infertility and Recurrent Miscarriage When Other Treatments Have Failed. She pioneered telehealth-based integrative fertility care, making evidence-based solutions accessible worldwide.

She is also the creator and host of The Fertility Challenge, a free online program that reaches tens of thousands of people globally each year. Through her F.E.R.T.I.L.E. Method®, Gabriela has supported more than 204,000 people across 111 countries. Published research demonstrates a 78.8% live birth rate among patients in her signature program—even after years of infertility, recurrent miscarriage, and failed treatments.

In this episode we discuss mamas who have experienced YEARS of infertility as well as helping mamas after loss with conceive again.

If you'd like to participate in her study regarding the effects of trauma and grief on fertility, please go to https://inspirestudy.online/

Find Gabriela on Instagram: @gabrielarosafertility

Website:https://fertilitybreakthrough.com/

Find your loss posse on LOSSLINK.COM!

Head to KatherineLazar.com to book a time with Katherine to discuss all things grief and loss

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/