At Last She Said It

'Blessing' is a catch-all word. From prosperity gospel to the laying on of hands, it is used to describe a transactional approach to our relationship with God: we do something and believe we are 'blessed' as a result. But when we try to connect those specific dots in our lives, things can get tricky. Such a transactional view may challenge our faith as often as it affirms it. In this follow-up conversation, Cynthia and Susan take another look at some complicated ways Latter-day Saints perceive, experience, and express the idea of blessing.

In this short bonus episode, Susan shares "Circles of Light," the essay in which the phrase 'I'm in the process of staying' originated.

"Why do you stay? How do you stay?" Because the conversations on this podcast often highlight problems Latter-day Saint women have observed or experienced in their church lives, these questions come up a lot. Every so often, it's helpful to check in with oneself for the current answers. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss the process of staying: what that process looks like for them, and why they each continue to find value engaging with it today.

There's a lot of pressure around missions in the Church. From the time they are very young, our children hear the clear expectation that they will serve. But the decision to serve, the realities of mission life, the possibility of returning home early, and the pressure to make big life decisions soon after a mission ends, can all weigh heavily on young Latter-day Saints and their families. "The reality of mission life both pre- and post-mission is hard!" says therapist Apple Lanman, who joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion of some of the complexities—personal, family, cultural, and institutional—surrounding this celebrated rite of passage.

There's a tension in our church between things that change and things that some members consider to be unchangeable. It can be hard to distinguish between the two, and our history would suggest that more things are probably changeable than we think. Figuring out what matters, why it does, and when that may change is an ongoing process, personally and institutionally. To answer those questions for ourselves, we must approach practices and programs in a way that helps us uncover spiritual meaning in them—or sometimes not. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan talk about some specific changes they've experienced during their church lives, and ask the question: Did that ever matter?

In this short bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan say a little bit more about the temple—a topic so big, there will always be more to say.

For our 100th episode, what could be more fitting than a discussion about the temple? It's the centerpiece of Latter-day Saint worship members believe sets our church apart from all others. Many women can trace their most sacred experiences to it, but for others—from the wording to the rituals—attending the temple causes deep unease. Having complicated feelings about something so reverenced can be a struggle to admit, even to oneself. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan highlight the emotions and experiences of women who generously shared their hearts with us on this difficult topic.

Who we pray to and how we envision God is personal, but the Church organization can and does limit our collective discourse about Heavenly Mother. Many feminists have been disciplined for speaking and writing publicly about Her. What does this silencing say about the importance of the doctrine? And is an unwillingness to allow deeper engagement with the feminine divine in our teaching and worship indicative of the organization's regard for women generally? Why don't we seem to believe our own stuff about one of the most unique—and for many compelling—aspects of our theology?

The term 'invisible woman' refers to the feeling many women have that they lose social value as their ability to attract the male gaze fades with age. But do older women disappear in church, as well as in society? And how might a woman's spirituality change as she moves through her second half of life? Cynthia and Susan explore their own experiences and those of listeners in this conversation about the impact of aging on women's church lives and personal faith.

When one thinks about the events of Jesus' life and ministry, it's natural to think about women. The Bible shows us a man whose inclusion of women was radical within its cultural context. Yet for most of history, his namesake religion has been marked by near-total domination of the patriarchy. What happened? Greg Prince once asked Chieko Okazaki a question that bears repeating: "…where do we need to go to get women in the Church where He wants them to be?" In this episode Cynthia and Susan pose that question again in a conversation shining light on a few of the women hidden in plain sight at Christianity's beginnings.