At Last She Said It

Our episodes may begin the conversation, but every woman in the Church has unique experiences and ideas to contribute, so there's always more to say. In this season finale, Cynthia and Susan revisit Season 3 podcast topics to share a few post-recording thoughts, ideas, and insights that have come up through continued conversation and listener feedback.

Latter-day Saint women are raised with clear expectations about the ideal LDS woman's life. But how do you fully develop a sense of self when you're taught from the time you're young exactly what your role should be in your family, church, and world? Without a self, there can be no boundaries. Without boundaries, we give away our choices. In this episode, therapist C.A. Larson shares thoughts about the importance of finding the self and caring for it by establishing healthy boundaries.

We all take a 'cafeteria' approach to our religion to some extent, but how much customization is really okay? As members of the Church, we are asked to obey commandments, but sometimes face pressure to accept policies and culture as binding too. How can we determine which parts are essential? How can we reap the greatest spiritual benefit from our church engagement? In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss approaching personal decisions about what to keep, and what it may be time to let go.

Has what was intended to be a "holier" approach to watching over each other elevated our game, or fallen flat? The switch to the Ministering program left a lot of us wondering exactly what it is we're supposed to be doing. We were good at meals and messages, but we're not so comfortable meeting people where they are, and just being there with them. In this episode, Sue Bergin shares insights in a conversation about learning new and better ways to provide support to each other with empathy, compassion, and love.

In the story of the widow's mite, Jesus directs our attention to a woman who gives everything she has, assuring us that her small offering is more than enough. But how are we meant to think about our own offerings in the context of this story? How much do we owe? And how can we know when we have we given enough of our time, talents, energy, and resources? Cynthia and Susan discuss the story of this woman's choice, and Jesus' reaction to it, in a conversation about giving—and being—enough.

Conversations on social media are rarely substantive, but sometimes a comment can provide a good opening to a larger discussion. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan unpack a comment made on a recent ALSSI post that seemed to ruffle a few feathers. It's a discussion about unhelpful ways Latter-day Saints sometimes respond to each other, and how we might all benefit from retiring the tired scripts members have relied on for too long in an effort to keep each other in line.

Whether faith promoting or fraught, the idea of being blessed figures prominently in Latter-day Saint teachings. Common use of words like 'earning' and 'qualifying' can make it hard not to view blessings as transactional. How can we make sense of blessings we receive—or those we don't? What is our part in obtaining specific outcomes and righteous desires? Can our faithful actions influence God's will? In this discussion, Cynthia and Susan attempt to find a little peace on a sticky topic.

Many Latter-day Saint women don't feel at liberty to talk about their challenges at church. Church history, policy, doctrine, or culture, our personal and family experiences, the ebb and flow of our faith, unexpected doubt or uncertainty—these things can create burdens we carry silently, made heavier by accompanying feelings of guilt, loneliness, unworthiness or shame. In this episode, Susan shares thoughts about her own journey into silence—and thankfully out again—as a woman in the LDS Church.

It's hard to ignore the fact that our church is heavily focused on the family. From the time we're young, Latter-day Saint girls are taught to expect and prepare for marriage and children as the centerpiece of our lives. And yet the majority of members worldwide are single. In this conversation, we're joined by our friend Mara to discuss some challenges of engaging in a church community where so much teaching and activity is geared toward one very specific ideal.

"Would you feel the same way if you were someone else, in a different place, time, or situation?" It's a great question, the kind of thought exercise we're rarely encouraged to engage in at church. This episode explores nuance—increased complexity in the ways we think about things. How much richer might our discussions be if we were willing to give space for the expression of a true diversity of thought and experience? How much might our shared understanding increase? And can we ever become comfortable approaching even our most trusted old ideas in new ways?