Back from the Borderline

One of the biggest questions I receive is whether or not to disclose mental health labels like BPD, ADHD, or cPTSD to friends, family, and partners—and how to navigate the regret that often follows. In this episode, I answer listener voicemails from Bella, Darrien, and Natalie, each grappling with the complicated emotions around sharing these personal details. Together, we’ll unpack the complexities of disclosure, the weight of vulnerability, and the boundaries needed to protect our peace.

Topics and questions explored in this episode include:

• Why sharing a diagnosis sometimes leads to regret—and what to do when it happens
• How to manage feeling psychoanalyzed or judged by those we’ve opened up to
• The "duty" to disclose: Do you owe it to anyone to reveal a diagnosis?
• Recognizing oversharing as a trauma response and learning to set healthier boundaries
• Practical ways to assess if someone is trustworthy enough to know intimate details
• Explaining emotional sensitivity or dysregulation to those with lower emotional intelligence
• Navigating the cultural stigma surrounding men and emotional expression
• How attaching too closely to diagnostic labels can lead to excessive self-blame
• Tips on overcoming the habit of over-apologizing and reclaiming self-compassion

This episode will give you tools to make more mindful choices about who you let in—and the confidence to protect your journey, your boundaries, and your peace. 

Timestamps:

4:27 | Voicemail from Bella (struggling with when to tell people about her BPD diagnosis and the deep shame and regret she feels after disclosing)

20:13 | Voicemail from Darrin (struggling with being a young man in the mid-west with a family and community who stigmatizes male displays of emotion – also feels like his family uses his mental health struggles as a scapegoat)

33:40 | Voicemail from Natalie (5 months into her relationship with her current girlfriend, Natalie feels like she is overly self-aware of her BPD traits – she called in because she is beginning to feel like she over-apologizes and tends to think every conflict is her fault)

44:06 | Preview of “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” Episode 12 “Crazymakers”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of splitting—a type of black-and-white thinking that can both serve as a protective mechanism and lead us into cycles of self-sabotage. Often linked to various mental health conditions such as BPD, cPTSD, ADHD, and ASD, splitting can profoundly impact our relationships and sense of self. But what if there’s more to splitting than just a label? Exploring splitting through the lens of both psychology and esoteric spiritual practices, we discuss how polarized thinking keeps us locked in cycles of dysfunctional behavior and perfectionism. We also dig into object relations theory to understand how splitting influences our ability to see people and ideas in nuanced ways, shaping everything from our self-perception to our closest relationships.

What we cover in this episode:

• How splitting affects individuals with traits associated with BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other “disorder” labels
• The psychological and spiritual origins of polarized thinking and its adaptive roots
• Practical steps to break free from black-and-white thinking and embrace a more flexible, growth-oriented mindset
• How perfectionism and splitting reinforce each other, keeping us in rigid cycles
• Insights from a listener voicemail from Charlie, who’s wrestling with feelings of guilt after learning how her intense emotional reactions are impacting her partner

If you’ve ever felt trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, this episode offers tools to help you recognize and soften these patterns, allowing for a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself and others.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do your relationships leave you feeling frustrated, resentful, or unfulfilled? If you’re tired of struggling with intimacy and connection, this episode offers a compassionate look at codependency and the often hidden expectations that can erode closeness. Together, we’ll uncover how “control dramas” can push love away and examine the common trap of setting unrealistic expectations in relationships.

We’ll also listen to a voicemail from a listener who’s grappling with these very issues and fears she’s sabotaging her own chance at real love and intimacy. By the end of the episode, you’ll gain clarity on how to identify and voice your needs in a relationship—without it ending in conflict or emotional burnout.

Topics covered include:

• Recognizing codependency patterns and their impact on intimacy
• What are “control dramas” and how they damage relationships
• Moving past resentment and frustration toward healthier connections
• Tips for communicating your needs without emotional explosions
• How to create a more fulfilling and balanced partnership

This episode is for anyone ready to let go of old patterns and find a more authentic path to love and connection. Join me as we dive deep into the real challenges—and solutions—for building fulfilling relationships.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever felt like you’re playing a role rather than being your true self? In this episode, we dive into the concept of “personality masks” and how they can keep us from connecting with our authentic selves. We’ll unpack what “Self” and “personality” truly mean and explore why so many of us develop these protective masks—often as a response to social pressures, trauma, or past experiences.

We’ll discuss how masking behaviors can show up in daily life, particularly for those who identify with conditions like ADHD, Autism, or traits associated with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). By examining common signs of personality masking and examples of masking behaviors, you’ll gain insight into how these tendencies might be affecting your mental health and relationships. Plus, we’ll highlight the different types of masks people use, the unconscious reasons behind them, and the psychological toll they can take over time. If you’re ready to start the journey of unmasking, this episode provides practical tips for recognizing and shedding these layers, helping you reconnect with a more authentic, grounded version of yourself.

Key insights and topics covered include:

• What is a “personality mask” and how it impacts mental well-being
• Recognizing signs of masking in everyday life
• Why masking is commonly associated with ADHD, Autism, and BPD traits
• The psychological cost of wearing personality masks
• How to unmask and connect with your true self in a healthy, empowering way

This conversation offers tools and insights for anyone feeling disconnected from their true self and seeking to live more authentically.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Jay Watts and I dive into the unique challenges faced by women with autism and explore how common traits are often misunderstood or overlooked in psychiatric settings. We discuss why women are less likely to be diagnosed with autism, how “masking” and “camouflaging” can conceal autistic traits in women and girls, and the impact of these strategies on mental health. From “special interests” to subtle social cues, we explore how autism manifests differently in women—and why these differences matter in both diagnosis and treatment.

Dr. Watts also shares insights into the deeply misunderstood labels of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and cPTSD, uncovering how trauma often underpins these traits and why individuals with these diagnoses experience chronic feelings of emptiness, self-doubt, and even suicidality. We discuss the often overlooked risks of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and how crucial informed consent is in psychiatric treatment, particularly around therapy choices and medications. Dr. Jay Watts, a respected clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, lecturer, and mental health activist based in London, brings her expertise from decades in clinical practice and academic roles within the UK’s National Health Service.

Topics explored in this episode:

• Why autism diagnoses are often missed in women
• The impact of “masking” and “camouflaging” strategies on mental health
• Identifying unique “special interests” in women with autism
• The stigma surrounding BPD and cPTSD and its roots in trauma
• Understanding the emotional toll of chronic emptiness and suicidality
• Potential risks of DBT and the need for informed consent in psychiatric care

Tune in for an insightful discussion that challenges conventional perspectives on mental health diagnoses, autism, and trauma, and empowers listeners to seek deeper understanding and agency in their own mental health journeys.

JAY’S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:

■ Follow Jay on Twitter @Shrink_at_Large

■ Jay’s articles about BPD and trauma can be found here

■ Protest letter about removing BPD from the diagnostic manual, ICD11 can be found here

■ A Simple Guide To Avoid Receiving A Diagnosis Of ‘Personality Disorder’

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With the rise of the “sober curious” movement, more people than ever are questioning the role alcohol plays in their lives and exploring what it means to live (or drink) more mindfully. Inspired by a wave of viral stories and transformations, I set out to uncover what this lifestyle is all about and how it’s challenging social norms around drinking. In this episode, we’ll break down the concept of being “sober curious,” tracing its origins and hearing from voices within the movement who are reshaping our understanding of alcohol and wellness. From redefining social drinking to understanding why Gen Z is leading a cultural shift away from alcohol, we’ll explore the upsides, the challenges, and the powerful potential of a sober curious life.

Topics include:

• How the sober curious movement started and its growing influence on wellness culture
• The concept of mindful drinking and ways to integrate it into your social life
• Why a growing number of people are choosing to question their relationship with alcohol
• Insights into Gen Z’s changing attitudes toward drinking and social connection

Whether you’re considering a break from alcohol or just want a fresh perspective, this episode offers an inviting look at the benefits and possibilities of going “sober curious.”

Referenced resources: 

■ Book: “Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington 

■ Book: “Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice Not to Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we dive deep into the emotional turbulence of high-conflict relationships, focusing on a listener’s experience with being gaslit. When Jade called in to share how she’s been made to feel “too much” or “too sensitive,” it highlighted the destructive power of gaslighting—and how easily mental health stigma can fuel feelings of self-doubt and guilt. Together, we’ll unpack the signs and effects of gaslighting, from the subtle shifts in self-perception to the ways it can derail emotional stability. We’ll also explore how partners who are open about their mental health can sometimes be manipulated into taking blame, and why self-soothing and emotional intelligence are key skills for handling intense relationship dynamics. Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict relationship, dealing with unresolved guilt, or simply seeking clarity, this episode will offer guidance and practical steps for reclaiming your sense of self.

Key topics covered include:

• Recognizing gaslighting and understanding its impact on your self-trust
• Identifying if and when your partner might be using gaslighting tactics
• The damaging role of mental health stigma in relationships
• Tips for initiating the conversation about couple’s therapy
• Self-soothing strategies and conflict resolution for high-conflict couples
• Moving beyond the blame game to build healthier emotional dynamics

Tune in for an honest conversation on gaslighting, emotional resilience, and the road to building stronger, more self-aware relationships.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s episode dives into some raw and relatable relationship struggles that many of us grapple with behind closed doors. We’ll listen to Liz’s story of battling guilt and shame after feeling responsible for her boyfriend’s eviction from his friend group’s apartment, and we’ll hear from Otillia, who is facing the painful aftermath of discovering that the person she’d been dating was hiding a pregnant girlfriend. These listener stories open the door to real, unfiltered discussions on navigating the tough moments that can make or break our self-worth and trust in others.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

• How to rebuild confidence after hurtful feedback and regain a sense of self
• Practical ways to cope with feelings of guilt and shame without losing yourself in them
• Managing social anxiety and finding ease when meeting new people in your partner’s life
• Approaches to building authentic relationships with a partner’s friends without overextending
• Moving forward after experiencing betrayal and the shock of infidelity

Through these stories, we’ll reflect on ways to strengthen our emotional resilience and deepen our understanding of ourselves in love and relationships. Whether you’re navigating guilt, trust, or the challenge of building new connections, this episode offers insights and support for the journey.

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re feeling stuck in the aftermath of a breakup, this episode is a space to help you begin untangling the pain and finding your way back to yourself. Healing from a traumatic separation isn’t a straightforward path—it’s filled with grief, self-doubt, and that persistent question: “Will I ever feel whole again?” We’ll dig deep into the emotional layers of heartbreak, looking at how to rebuild self-worth, embrace closure, and eventually, open up to love once more. We’ll explore how attachments, beliefs, and past traumas can shape our experience of love and loss. From breaking free of trauma bonds and recognizing the patterns of limerence—those addictive, all-consuming feelings that mimic love—to challenging the myth of a “perfect partner,” this episode is about grounding ourselves in reality and embracing a healthier view of relationships and self-worth.

Topics include:

• Finding purpose through helping others and using altruism as a lifeline
• Understanding limerence vs. true love, and breaking free from toxic cycles
• Insights into trauma bonding and its effects on adult relationships
• Letting go of the “One” myth to find a more balanced perspective on love
• Guided visualization to help you process pain and start moving forward

Through these reflections, you’ll gain fresh perspectives on navigating breakup pain and new ways to reconnect with yourself.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Struggling to stay organized, follow through on plans, or keep your emotions in check? You’re not alone. Many people face challenges with executive functioning—a set of mental skills that can impact everything from daily routines to long-term goals. In this episode, we’re breaking down what executive dysfunction really is, especially as it relates to ADHD and emotion regulation. We’ll dive into why executive dysfunction occurs, how it might show up in everyday life, and, importantly, practical strategies for managing it. Through fresh insights into how childhood development shapes executive skills and reflections on Gabor Maté’s perspectives on ADHD, this conversation is all about understanding the “why” behind these struggles and finding realistic steps to move forward.

Listen in to learn about:

• The basics of executive functions and what happens when they’re disrupted
• Signs and causes of executive dysfunction (and how to recognize them in yourself)
• Real-life impacts of executive dysfunction on focus, planning, and emotional regulation
• How childhood experiences and ADHD influence executive skills
• Practical tools and strategies for building up your executive functioning over time

This episode offers a compassionate look at executive dysfunction that goes beyond labels. Tune in to discover tools and insights that can help you create a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.