Back from the Borderline

In this episode, we’re taking a hard look at the medical model of mental health—a framework that focuses on diagnosis and medication but often falls short in addressing the true complexities of human suffering. Despite decades of research, psychiatrist and medical historian Dr. Marcos Ramos argues in his article “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” that traditional psychiatry has made little progress in diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. He suggests a radical shift in perspective: looking beyond the brain to societal, environmental, and psychological factors as essential elements in understanding and healing mental and physical health. We’ll explore how the medical model often overlooks the root causes of distress, and why it’s crucial to consider a more holistic approach to treatment. This episode invites listeners to question conventional psychiatry and embrace a broader perspective on mental health—one that considers trauma, social structures, and emotional well-being as integral parts of healing.

Topics discussed include:

• The limitations of the medical model in treating mental health conditions
• Why mental health diagnosis and treatment may not have advanced as much as we think
• The importance of addressing environmental, social, and psychological factors for more effective care
• Practical ways to advocate for yourself and loved ones in a system often focused on labels and medication

This episode aims to inform and empower, arming you with knowledge to navigate the mental health system with greater confidence—and perhaps even to challenge the status quo in pursuit of true healing.

Recommended resources: 

■ Full article from the Boston Review – “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” by Marco Ramos

■ Follow Marcos on Twitter (@mramos_histmed)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this powerful episode, I’m joined by 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer, whose journey through trauma, self-discovery, and resilience is one of the most impactful stories I've shared on the podcast. Scott’s life was shaped by severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, along with the struggle of growing up in a household where his mother couldn’t protect him or his siblings. Despite these challenges, Scott cultivated a strong, healthy marriage and chose to break the cycle of trauma in raising his daughter. With the guidance of a supportive psychotherapist, he began to identify with traits commonly associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which brought both clarity and healing.

Scott’s story is a testament to the power of self-awareness, the importance of emotional resilience, and the possibility of breaking generational trauma patterns. Whether you’re navigating family trauma, emotion dysregulation, or validation addiction, Scott’s insights and experiences will resonate deeply and offer hope.

In this episode, we explore:

• Scott’s path to realizing he needed help and how finding language for his experiences brought empowerment
• The impact of BPD traits, like “splitting” (black-and-white thinking), on relationships
• How validation addiction or approval-seeking can keep us stuck in self-destructive cycles
• The role of childhood trauma and abuse in shaping BPD traits and emotional sensitivity
• How Scott overcame the cycle of generational trauma in his own family
• Why men, especially cis-gendered heterosexual males, are less frequently diagnosed with BPD and how the medical model overlooks them

This episode is for anyone seeking to understand their own behaviors, heal from past traumas, or simply find encouragement in another’s resilience. Scott’s story shows that no matter your age or past experiences, it’s possible to find meaning, self-compassion, and peace.

Connect with Scott at https://www.usadogbehavior.com/.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To truly advocate for yourself in mental health treatment, it’s crucial to understand the different frameworks that shape how mental health is approached and treated. The dominant view in Western mental health care, known as the medical model, seeks to pathologize emotional experiences, attributing symptoms to “disorders” or supposed chemical imbalances in the brain. But here’s the catch: the medical model is just one theory, and it’s not without its critics. In this episode, we examine alternative perspectives on mental health, including the trauma-informed approach, which many believe offers a more compassionate and effective way of addressing psychological suffering.

We’ll break down the four major models shaping today’s mental health landscape:

• The Medical Model: The traditional view, focused on diagnosing “disorders” and treating symptoms, often through medication.
• The Social Model: Emphasizing the role of societal structures and environments in mental health.
• The Biopsychosocial Model: Integrating biological, psychological, and social factors to understand mental well-being.
• The Trauma-Informed Model: A growing framework that views emotional distress as a response to trauma rather than a “disorder.”

By exploring and critiquing each of these perspectives, you’ll gain insight into why you may have felt disconnected or even disheartened by certain mental health treatments. This episode aims to empower you with knowledge so you can make informed choices and advocate for a therapeutic approach that aligns with your needs and experiences.

Listen in to learn:

• How different mental health models impact treatment outcomes
• Why the trauma-informed model is gaining traction as a humane approach to mental health
• What questions to ask your mental health provider to ensure your care aligns with your values

This episode will leave you better equipped to navigate the complexities of mental health care and reclaim your voice in your own healing journey.

Recommended resources:

■ Article by Mad in America | “Researchers Critique the Medical Model”

■ YouTube video by Dr. James Davies | Mental Health, Capitalism & the Sedation of a Nation

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you do when you realize you’ve hurt the people you love? In this episode, I respond to a listener’s voicemail about the deep guilt that follows an episode of emotional dysregulation, where she “lost it” with close friends who haven’t spoken to her since. These moments—the ones where we realize, “I might be the problem”—can be some of the hardest to face on the path to healing. But they’re also powerful opportunities for self-reflection and growth. We’ll explore why emotional “blow-ups” don’t mean you’re back at square one and how moments of self-awareness can actually move us forward. This episode delves into the importance of atonement in relationships, providing steps for repairing the harm we’ve caused, as well as tools for forgiving ourselves.

Topics covered include:

• Recognizing signs that we may be hurting others in our relationships
• How to take accountability without wallowing in shame or self-hatred
• Finding the root causes behind emotional outbursts and self-sabotaging behaviors
• Steps for making amends and offering genuine apologies
• Practicing healthier behaviors as part of your ongoing healing journey
• Real strategies for self-forgiveness and moving forward after a mistake

This episode is a guide for anyone grappling with guilt and self-doubt in their relationships, offering insights on breaking free from cycles of emotional harm and nurturing healthier connections.

Recommended resources:

■ Article by Jim Tolles | “7 steps to Atoning for Pain You’ve Caused Another”

■ TedTalk by Kristin Neff | “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion”

■ YouTube video with Lisa Romano | “Verbal Abuse in Relationships”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it possible—or even ethical—to diagnose a teenager with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? This question is a sensitive topic in the mental health field, and one that countless parents and teens are asking. In this episode, we dive into the complexities of identifying BPD traits in adolescents and explore why many professionals approach this diagnosis cautiously when it comes to teens. We’ll answer some of the most frequently asked questions, like how to support a teenager who identifies with symptoms commonly associated with BPD, and how parents can navigate their own feelings of guilt and uncertainty. Through listener questions, we’ll explore whether the label of a personality disorder can be truly helpful for a still-developing teenager and discuss healthier ways to support them through their emotional challenges.

Topics covered include:

• Key questions for parents to consider before responding to emotionally charged situations with their teens
• The “campsite rule” and how it can improve relationships (borrowed from the wisdom of Dan Savage)
• Why mental health professionals have been cautious in diagnosing BPD in teenagers
• Addressing common questions like “Do parents cause their children to develop BPD traits?”
• Practical strategies for managing and understanding “splitting” behaviors in teens

This episode encourages a compassionate approach, focusing on understanding and supporting teens as they navigate complex emotions—without prematurely labeling them as “disordered.”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Navigating the workplace can be an overwhelming experience, especially for those managing symptoms related to trauma recovery. Many individuals who resonate with the symptoms of various disorder/dysfunction labels are highly sensitive, intuitive, creative, and often find traditional job environments triggering or draining. In this episode, we explore the common workplace struggles faced by people on a trauma healing journey, from difficulties with job stability to feeling trapped in roles that suppress creativity.

We’ll talk about practical strategies for coping with workplace stress, handling emotional triggers, and managing job-related anxiety. This episode also offers guidance on finding meaningful work that aligns with your passions, rather than settling for roles that bring discontentment and emotional strain. If you feel caught in a cycle of jumping from job to job or repeating self-sabotaging patterns at work, this episode will provide insights and tools to help you shift toward a career path that feels fulfilling and sustainable.

In this episode, we cover:

• Common challenges and emotional triggers in the workplace for trauma survivors
• Practical steps for managing job-related anxiety and stress
• How to create boundaries that support mental health in professional settings
• Tips on moving from jobs you hate to meaningful work that aligns with your values

This episode is for anyone struggling with workplace dynamics while healing, offering hope and actionable steps to find a job that truly resonates with who you are.

Resources mentioned:

■ Essay by Paul Graham: “How To Do What You Love”

■ Twitter thread by Billy Oppenheimer: “12 habits and principles for doing your best creative work”

■ Book by Elizabeth Gilbert: “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, my incredible partner Zaz is back to help tackle your pressing questions on love, intimacy, and the realities of building healthy relationships. Together, we’re diving into the complex dynamics that shape romantic connections, from understanding emotional abuse to breaking free from obsessive thoughts about a new crush. This conversation covers the importance of uncovering your core values, how delaying intimacy can strengthen a relationship, and the role unhealed emotional struggles play in partnership dynamics. Whether you’re exploring a new relationship or deepening a long-term connection, this episode offers insights to help you navigate the often-complicated world of love and connection with greater awareness and intention.

Topics discussed include:

• Recognizing signs of verbal and emotional abuse in intimate relationships
• Strategies for breaking cycles of emotional harm—and addressing the shame that often arises
• How identifying your core values can help you overcome identity issues and strengthen partnerships
• Practical advice on managing emotion dysregulation to support healthier relationship dynamics

This episode is for anyone seeking to build a mindful, values-driven relationship or break free from the patterns that keep them stuck.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we explore the profound sense of spiritual starvation that so many of us grapple with—a feeling of emptiness, brokenness, and isolation that seems impossible to fill. Inspired by a voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a message from Noura in Egypt, I’m reminded of why I started this podcast: to connect with those searching for meaning beyond the surface-level solutions often offered in mental health and self-help spaces. We dive into the concept of “zooming out”—taking a higher, broader perspective on our lives and struggles. By stepping back, we can begin to see our experiences not as signs of inherent flaws, but as part of a much larger journey of growth and self-discovery. This episode encourages you to follow your own “spiritual breadcrumbs” and find unique ways to reconnect with yourself at a deeper level.

Topics include:

• Exploring spiritual emptiness and feelings of disconnection
• Practical steps for “zooming out” and gaining a higher perspective on personal struggles
• How to use a spiritual lens to find peace and purpose
• Tips for navigating feelings of brokenness and finding inner resilience
• Cultivating self-awareness and autonomy on your own spiritual path

For anyone feeling lost or spiritually “starved,” this episode offers a refreshing perspective on reclaiming your journey and nurturing a more meaningful connection with yourself.

RESOURCES:

“How Do We Break the Habit of Excessive Thinking?” with Eckhart Tolle

“How to re-frame a challenging moment and feel empowered?” with Gabor Maté MD

“Let your relationships become a vehicle for freedom” with Ram Dass

“The principal of not forcing” with Alan Watts

“Holding the tension of the opposites” with Marion Woodman

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we dive into some of today’s most compelling topics surrounding mental health, social media, and the evolving perspectives on borderline personality disorder (BPD). We start by examining Bo Burnham’s thoughts on social media, as portrayed in his acclaimed special Inside, and how his reflections resonate with my own journey to find a conscious, balanced approach to social media use. I share insights from my recent four-month Instagram hiatus and what it taught me about mindfulness in the digital age.

We also explore the concept of the “baby borderline”—an archetype representing those newly navigating a BPD diagnosis—and discuss how perspectives on mental health and the psychiatric establishment can evolve over time. I reflect on my changing views on the DSM and the broader mental health institution since launching this podcast. We’ll take a critical look at Dr. Jessica Taylor’s 2019 reaction video to the FDA’s approval of a so-called “miracle drug” for BPD, questioning the implications of such treatments. Additionally, this episode offers practical advice on grounding or earthing techniques to support emotional regulation, including tips on practicing grounding during the cold winter months.

Topics covered include:

• Bo Burnham’s Inside and his critique of social media’s impact on mental health
• The journey toward mindful social media use and my personal Instagram break
• Understanding the “baby borderline” archetype and its relationship to BPD diagnosis
• Reflections on the psychiatric establishment and changing perspectives on the DSM
• Analyzing Dr. Jessica Taylor’s video response to the FDA’s BPD drug approval
• Grounding techniques for emotional regulation, and tips for grounding in winter

This episode offers a blend of personal reflections, mental health insights, and grounding practices to help you navigate the complexities of modern life and emotional well-being.

Additional resources: 

■ Ep. 340 of the Minimalists Podcast where they discuss the benefits of grounding with earthing expert Clint Ober

■ Clint Ober’s website earthing.com (a reputable place to purchase earthing products – I am not paid by this company, I just like/trust the products)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

↓ Want to unlock ALL my BPD-related episodes? Scroll to the bottom of this post for more info. ↓

Are you a family member seeking to support and better understand someone you love who struggles with or identifies with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder? I sat down with returning podcast guest, licensed clinical social worker Catherine Humenuk to discuss how to best support and love someone who struggles with symptoms of BPD (EUPD.)

Questions and topics Catherine and I tackle in our discussion:

■ NEABPD’s Family Connections program (a free, evidence-based, 12-class course that meets for 2 hours weekly)

■ How “validation” can help someone with BPD

■ Can you take a pill to cure BPD? (exploring various medications and treatments often used for individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder)

■ Understanding BPD in teens

■ When do the first signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder develop?

Click the links below to access the resources mentioned during today’s episode:

■ NEABPD’s Family Connections program waitlist sign-up application

■ New York Presbyterian’s free online recourse for anyone impacted by BPD that will help connect you with the proper treatment and support in your local area

■ NEABPD’s free online recovery resource center

■ Official DBT training authority Behavioral Tech’s website resources

■ Connect with today’s guest Catherine Humenuk via her website

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.