Terrie and David are back from the cruise and giving you a rundown on the absolute carnage — from the *massive* Legend of the Seas (20 floors, drones, YouTubers with security, and a buffet so good they barely left it) to why they’re already plotting a Caribbean one next year.

They get weirdly deep about how a ship that weighs 248,000 tons can even float… and then swing straight back into reality: Myles is crawling, head-banging for reactions, and Jake is apparently “getting a bit senile”.

Plus: the Ryanair seat scam rant, the motion-sensor toilet door disaster, and Rome in a heatwave nearly ending the marriage over a €5 bottle of water.