Ready To Be Real by Síle Seoige

How often do we push ourselves to the point of exhaustion, trying to do everything and keep everyone happy?

For this week's Real Take, I'm dipping into the Ready to Be Real archive to revisit a conversation I had with the brilliant midlife coach Alana Kirk back in April 2024.

In this short extract, Alana shares a powerful example of how setting boundaries and making small changes can make a huge difference, not just to our own wellbeing, but to family life too.

She also shares some wonderfully practical advice about knowing when to choose our sanity over our standards!

This conversation really resonated with listeners when it first came out, and revisiting it reminded me just how much wisdom Alana has to offer.

We've actually recorded three conversations together, and I'd highly recommend all three.

Listen to the full conversations:

Alana Kirk: Midlife Coach - April 2024

Our first conversation, where Alana shares her personal story, the challenges and changes she's experienced, and some wonderful insights into navigating midlife.

Alana Kirk: The Practical, Invisible and Emotional Load - February 2025

A really important discussion about the invisible responsibilities women carry, overwhelm, expectations and how we can begin to change things.

Alana Kirk: Friendships and Fun, Why They're Important! - March 2025

A gorgeous reminder of the importance of friendship, connection, making time for ourselves and having fun!

A little note: Our first conversation was originally recorded in April 2024. During our chat, Alana speaks about caring for her father, who sadly passed away since we recorded. I just wanted to acknowledge that as we revisit this conversation.

Connect with Alana:

Website: https://www.alanakirk.com

Instagram: @midlifecoach

If this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

Thanks, as always, for listening and for your support.

Go raibh míle maith agaibh!

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Topics covered: Family, childhood, emigration, love, fatherhood, masculinity, patriarchy, Palestine, empathy, apathy, humanity, community, collective action, LSD, anxiety, panic attacks, creativity and music.

This week I'm joined by singer-songwriter, author and actor Declan O'Rourke.

Originally from Ballyfermot in Dublin, Declan grew up with his parents and three siblings. He spent part of his childhood in Australia, where the family lived for four years before returning to Ireland. By the time he turned 30, he had moved an incredible 27 times. Now 50, he's called Kinvara, County Galway, home for almost 20 years, with a special connection to the area ​on his mother's side.

Family is central to his life​ and is a proud Dad to two sons: Jonah is 20 and Londubh is 8.

In this conversation he recalls his three-day wedding celebration on Inishbofin with his wife Eime​ar.

We explore what masculinity means to him, the expectations placed on men and the importance of challenging harmful patriarchal attitudes. Having experienced life as an immigrant, he reflects on the importance of empathy and our shared humanity. We discuss his longstanding support for Palestine, his frustration with apathy and his belief in the power of communities coming together.

​He also opens up about a frightening LSD (acid) experience at 19 and the years of fear, anxiety and panic attacks that followed. He explains why he kept his struggles to himself and how he eventually came to understand what was happening.

We talk about his eighth studio album, Oceanic, out now and recorded in Sydney, Australia. We also touch on his music and novels exploring the Great Irish Famine, and his acting role in Almost With You.

A self-confessed introvert, Declan loves the ​simple life: family, ​a bit of DIY, his dog, cat and chickens​ and he also dream​s of spending more time in Italy.

MORE FROM DECLAN

Music, Oceanic and tour dates: https://declanorourke.com

His work on the Great Irish Famine:

- Chronicles of the Great Irish Famine (2017) - album

- The Pawnbroker's Reward (2021) - novel

- A Whisper from Oblivion (2023) - novel

Film: Almost With You (2026) - https://almostwithyou.com

Book mentioned: Essential Help for Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes, which Declan found helpful in understanding anxiety and panic attacks.

CONTENT NOTE & SUPPORT

This conversation discusses LSD (acid), a distressing drug experience, anxiety and panic attacks. Declan's experience of coping alone is personal to him and is not advice to manage mental health difficulties without help. If anything resonates or feels distressing, please speak to your GP or a qualified mental health professional. Support is available:

- HSE Your Mental Health: https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/ | 1800 111 888 (24/7 information line)

- Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/ireland/ | 116 123 (24/7)

- Text About It: text HELLO to 50808 (24/7)

- HSE Drugs and Alcohol Helpline: 1800 459 459 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5.30pm)

You don't have to go through difficult times alone.

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For this week's Real Take, I'm dipping into the Ready to Be Real archive and sharing an extract from a conversation I had with psychotherapist Richard Hogan in April 2025.

Richard specialises in working with families and is the author of two brilliant books, Parenting the Screenager and Home Is Where the Start Is. He's also a father of three daughters, so he brings both his professional knowledge and personal experience to the conversation.

As a Mom of a nine-year-old boy and an almost five-year-old girl, this is a subject that's very close to my heart. So far, we've managed to avoid introducing personal smart devices (to our kids!) in our home, but I'm very conscious that there are challenges ahead as our children get older.

In this extract, Richard talks about adolescence, the changes children experience as they grow, and the importance of maintaining a strong connection with them through those years.

He explains why boundaries are so important, shares some lovely personal stories about parenting his own daughters, and talks about helping children navigate friendships and the inevitable challenges of growing up.

One of the things that really stayed with me was his advice around encouraging children to have wide friendship circles and plenty of interests and activities outside the online world. It's such an important reminder of the value of real-world connection and giving our children a strong foundation as they grow.

Following on from my recent conversation with Mick Moran of Hotline.ie about protecting our children online, I thought this was a particularly relevant conversation to revisit.

Richard Hogan: Adolescence – Preteen and Teenager (April 2025)

In the full conversation, we explore adolescence and the preteen years in much greater detail, including communication, parenting boundaries, friendships, healthy habits, masculinity, online influences, pornography and the importance of creating a safe and supportive home environment.

Mick Moran: Protecting Our Children Online (October 2026)

Richard Hogan: Anxiety in Kids and Teenagers (January 2024)

Debbie Cullinane: Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist (March 2024)

CyberSafeKids

An Irish charity offering research, education and practical advice to help children and parents navigate the online world more safely.

https://www.cybersafekids.ie

Smartphone Free Childhood Ireland

A parent-led movement supporting families and school communities who want to delay access to smartphones and social media.

https://smartphonefree.ie

Webwise

Ireland's online safety awareness centre, offering information and advice for parents, teachers and young people.

https://www.webwise.ie

If you found this conversation useful, please consider sharing it with another parent or someone who might benefit from hearing it.

And if you're enjoying Ready to Be Real, following the podcast and leaving a rating or review really helps.

Thanks so much, as always, for listening and for your support.

Go raibh míle maith agaibh!

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Topics covered: Online safety, childhood, parenting, smartphones, social media, gaming, Roblox, algorithms, manipulation, digital autonomy, grooming, sextortion, exploitation, CSAM, pornography, harmful content, suicide, sharenting, digital literacy, boundaries, notifications, personal responsibility, screen time, peer pressure, parental responsibility, online reporting.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes discussions of child sexual abuse material, sexual exploitation, grooming, sextortion, pornography, suicide and other disturbing subjects. It is intended for adult listeners and is not suitable for children.

My guest in this episode is Mick Moran, CEO of Hotline.ie, Ireland's national reporting centre for suspected illegal online content, particularly child sexual abuse material (CSAM).

He spent 34 years in An Garda Síochána before joining Hotline.ie.

Recorded during the summer of 2026, this is a frank and, at times, deeply unsettling conversation about the online world we're living in and what it means for our children.

A significant part of our conversation focuses on parenting. When should children get their first smartphone? Are we putting them at a disadvantage by delaying access to them?

This isn't about judging parents or pretending there are easy answers. As a mother of two young kids, I'm very aware that many of these decisions are ahead of me too.

And if this episode resonated with you, I suggest you listen to my conversations with psychotherapist Richard Hogan, in particular the one on Adolescence.

Resources and support

Hotline.ie - Irish Internet Hotline

Ireland's national reporting centre where members of the public can securely, anonymously and confidentially report suspected illegal online content, especially child sexual abuse material.

https://hotline.ie

CyberSafeKids

An Irish charity providing research, education and practical online safety resources for children, parents and schools.

https://www.cybersafekids.ie

Smartphone Free Childhood Ireland

A parent-led movement supporting families and school communities who want to delay children's access to smartphones and social media.

https://smartphonefree.ie

Webwise

Ireland's online safety awareness centre, offering information and educational resources on social media, gaming, cyberbullying, privacy and digital wellbeing.

https://www.webwise.ie

ISPCC / Childline

Confidential support for children and young people, including those affected by harmful online experiences.

https://www.ispcc.ie

https://www.childline.ie

Childline: 1800 66 66 66 (24-hour support).

National Parents Council

Advice, education and support for parents, including guidance on children's online safety and wellbeing.

https://www.npc.ie

Irish Safer Internet Centre

Hotline.ie is a member of the Irish Safer Internet Centre alongside Webwise, ISPCC Childline and the National Parents Council.

https://hotline.ie/safer-internet-centre/

The 4 Cs of online risk

Mick refers to the CO:RE 4 Cs framework, which identifies four broad categories of online risk to children:

Content - Exposure to potentially harmful or inappropriate online material.

Contact - Harmful interactions with others online, including grooming and unwanted contact.

Conduct - Harmful online behaviour involving children, including cyberbullying, harassment and harmful peer interactions.

Contract - Commercial and transactional risks, including scams, fraud, data exploitation and manipulative marketing.

Books mentioned :

The Anxious Generation - Jonathan Haidt

Explores the impact of smartphones, social media and changes in childhood on young people's mental health and development.

The Amazing Generation - Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

A companion book aimed at children aged approximately 9-12, encouraging healthier relationships with technology and more freedom, connection and adventure in the real world.

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In this week's Real Take, Majella O'Donnell shares her personal experience of the ten weeks she spent as an inpatient in St John of God Hospital in 2024, when she became seriously unwell with depression.

She speaks about the fear and vulnerability she experienced, and she also discusses medication, treatment and the practical tools she learned during her time in hospital, including recognising anxiety, understanding her body's fight-or-flight response and finding ways to support herself.

This is just one part of a much wider conversation.

In the full episode....Majella O'Donnell: Completely Herself, we also explore her childhood, her first marriage, motherhood, meeting Daniel and their life together, and how she continues to manage her mental health today.

Support and resources

If you're struggling with your mental health, please reach out. You don't have to face it alone. Your GP is a good place to start, and the following organisations offer support in Ireland.

Aware

Support and information for people experiencing depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder, and for their loved ones.

Freephone: 1800 80 48 48

Available daily, 10am–10pm

www.aware.ie

Samaritans

Confidential, non-judgemental emotional support, available 24 hours a day.

Freephone: 116 123

www.samaritans.ie

Text About It

Free, confidential text support, available 24/7.

Text HELLO to 50808

www.textaboutit.ie

Pieta

Support for people experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm, and those affected by suicide.

24-hour crisis helpline: 1800 247 247

Text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)

www.pieta.ie

HSE Mental Health Services

Information about mental health difficulties, treatment options and accessing support.

www2.hse.ie/mental-health/

If you need urgent help :

Contact your GP or out-of-hours GP service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 112 or 999 or attend your nearest Emergency Department.

A note about medication and treatment :

Majella shares her own experience of psychiatric care, including changes to medication during her hospital stay. This conversation reflects her personal experience and is not intended as medical advice. Please speak to your GP or treating clinician before making any changes to prescribed medication.

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Topics covered: Childhood, family, fear and safety, motherhood, relationships, depression, psychiatric care, medication, ADHD, breast cancer, ​mental health​, identity​, vulnerability, recovery, love, marriage and life with Daniel.

My guest in this episode is mental health advocate and TV personality Majella O’Donnell, in what is her very first podcast conversation.

Majella is a mother of two and grandmother of four, and she has been married to singer Daniel O’Donnell for almost 24 years.

In this conversation, Majella speaks with extraordinary honesty about her life and, in particular, her experience of living with depression.

She reflects on her childhood and ​in particular her relationship with her father, describing an upbringing in which she lived with fear and, as she now understands it, in an almost constant state of fight or flight.

We talk about motherhood and the times she struggled, relationships, her cancer diagnosis, and the love, humour and independence at the heart of her marriage to Daniel.

At the centre of our conversation is the severe depression Majella experienced and the ten weeks she spent as an inpatient in St John of God Hospital​ in 2024.

She describes what it felt like when depression took away her ability to function and make even the simplest decisions and what led her to seek professional help.

Majella also speaks openly about medication and the process, under medical care, of changing treatment and eventually finding a combination that worked for her.

One of the striking things about her experience is that depression didn't only appear when life was difficult. She talks about becoming unwell at a time when she was happy, loved and grateful for the life she had​...a powerful reminder that mental illness doesn't always have an obvious explanation.

Today, Majella is in a much better place. She has a greater understanding of herself and what she needs to protect her mental health, and she is using her own experience to encourage more honest conversations about depression.

This is a deeply personal conversation about childhood, fear, love, illness, identity, getting help and finding your way back to yourself.

And above all, it's Majella​...completely herself.

A note on this episode​ :

Majella discusses her personal experience of antidepressant medication. This is one person's lived experience and should not be taken as medical advice. If you have questions or concerns about your own medication or treatment, please speak to your GP, psychiatrist or another appropriately qualified healthcare professional. Do not stop or change prescribed medication without medical guidance.

Support and resources​ :

If anything discussed in this episode affects you, support is available.

Samaritans Ireland

Freephone 116 123, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Email: [email protected]

Confidential, non-judgemental emotional support for anyone who is struggling to cope.

Text About It

Free-text HELLO to 50808, 24 hours a day.

A free, anonymous text service for anyone experiencing a mental health or emotional crisis.

Pieta

Freephone 1800 247 247, 24 hours a day.

Text HELP to 51444. Standard message rates may apply.

Support for people experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm, and for those bereaved by suicide.

Aware

Freephone 1800 80 48 48, seven days a week, 10am-10pm.

Information and support for people experiencing depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and other mood-related difficulties, as well as family and friends.

HSE ​- Your Mental Health

For information on mental health services and supports in Ireland, contact the Your Mental Health information line on 1800 111 888 or speak to your GP.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger or needs emergency medical assistance, call 112 or 999 or go to your nearest Emergency Department.

Please reach out. You don't have to struggle alone.

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In this short extract from my conversation with eco-builder and author Harrison Gardner, he talks about the systems we rely on every day, why convenience so often wins, and the value of having a backup when the systems we take for granted, don't work as expected.

The full conversation,​ Harrison Gardner: How Prepared Are You?, is available now wherever you get your podcasts.

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Topics covered : Housing, shelter, self-building, self-sufficiency, security, agency, sustainability, consumerism, capitalism, convenience, our reliance on systems, power cuts, extreme weather, energy, practical skills, DIY, community, climate change, preparedness​ and taking back control.

Harrison Gardner is an eco-builder, author and broadcaster who lives in Co. Clare with his wife Erin and their two daughters, Inari (6) and Islita (3).

Having spent more than 15 years designing and building conventional, sustainable and off-grid homes around the world, Harrison's work now centre​s on helping people develop the skills and confidence to become more capable and self-sufficient.

He is the co-founder of Common Knowledge, a non-profit social enterprise based in the Burren that teaches practical skills for sustainable living, from building and DIY to growing food, making furniture and mending clothes.

His latest book, ​Heat, Shelter, Water, Food: How to Be Ready for the Unexpected, looks at the basic systems we rely on every day and asks a simple but increasingly important question: what happens when those systems stop working?

From storms and power cuts to food and water security, this conversation is ultimately about knowledge, skills and agency, and why becoming a little more capable can help us feel a lot more secure.

Harrison also authored ​Build Your Own and ​Our Homes and presents ​RTÉ's Build Your Own Home.

Find out more about Harrison and his work:

​HARRISON GARDNER

And if this conversation resonated with you, you might also enjoy these episodes from the Ready to Be Real archive:

Mark Boyle: The Moneyless Man

Kenneth Keavey of Green Earth Organics: The True Cost of Cheap Food

Raeeka Yassaie: Climate in Crisis

You'll find all three in the Ready to Be Real archive wherever you get your podcasts.

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Topics covered : Gratitude, self-belief, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, mother-daughter bond, coercive control, patriarchy, beauty standards, ageing, women’s cycles, strength training, healthy love, taking up space.

This week’s guest is comedian and now author Kyla Cobbler.

Kyla and I sat down in Galway just as her first book, 'Happy, Thank You, More, Please' was released. We talk about the five-word mantra that has stayed with her since she was 21, her difficult experience of school, the unwavering support of her ​Mom, and her journey towards trusting herself and taking up space.

We also talk about coercive control, finding healthy love with her husband Simon, life under the patriarchy, beauty standards, ageing, honouring women’s cycles, strength training, and learning to appreciate the life you have while still being brave enough to ask for more.

'Happy, Thank You, More, Please' is out now, available in all good bookshops and as an audiobook and it is brilliant!

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