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With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Zachary Wagner: 

• Find Zachary's book Non-Toxic Masculinity
• Find Zachary on Instagram

Things Mentioned in the Podcast: 

• Our book She Deserves Better!
• Zachary's response to the review from Shane Morris on The Gospel Coalition
• Bob and Dannah Gresh's appearance at Cedarville University
• Information about Dannah calling 8-year-old's bellies intoxicating
• Fred Stoeker's appearance on Focus on the Family
• Matthew West's podcast discussing Modest is Hottest

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).

But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?

Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realized something was wrong and came out of it.

(Also: at the beginning I quoted a Bible passage and said Matthew 18. I meant Matthew 15. Sorry!)

Our Sponsor:

The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.  
View a sample of the Bible here!

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Lauren Rose and Called to Peace:

• Called to Peace Ministries
• Find Called to Peace on Facebook, including my interview on how Sexual Coercion is Domestic Abuse

Things Mentioned in the Podcast: 

• Our podcast with another Gothard Survivor, Emily Elizabeth
• Our interview with Alyssa Wakefield, who grew up in a Gothard home and was groomed for abuse (Part 1, and Part 2).
• Our podcast episode 229 with Jay Stringer about Josh Howerton's wedding night advice
• My Twitter thread about Josh Howerton's "apology"
• The original thread that went viral, as well as a viral follow-up dealing with Josh's comments

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"

Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too!

Our Sponsor:

The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

The Products We Mentioned: 

• Our book The Great Sex Rescue
• The Orgasm Course
• The Boost Your Libido Course

Things Mentioned in the Podcast: 

• Our podcast on obligation sex, and the post that goes along with it
• The podcast where we discuss Emerson Eggerichs saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused--and a follow-up podcast going into more detail on how evangelical writers portray female orgasm
• More podcasts on libido: 3 ways to talk about libido differences, and have we made sex into a yes space for men?

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide.  There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.

Our Sponsor:

The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book. 

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Jay Stringer:

• Check out Jay's book Unwanted
• Find Jay on Instagram
• Learn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment Conference

Links We Mentioned:

• Jay's first podcast with us on his book Unwanted
• Our book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual pain
• Our books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
• Our podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talk
• The podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermons
• The Orgasm Course
• The Marriage Night at Lakepointe Church Howerton was referring to 
• The study on the effects of orgasm the first time you have sex

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.

Our Sponsor:

The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.  
View a sample of the Bible here!

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Links We Mentioned:

• Susannah Griffith’s book Forgiveness After Trauma
• Find Susannah at her website

Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here. 

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations.  In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Links We Mentioned:

• Natalie Hoffman’s book All the Scary Little Gods
• Natalie’s website Flying Free, and her Flying Free podcast
• The first podcast Natalie did with me–how Christian books made me stay in an abusive marriage
• Natalie joined us on our podcast about the book Lies Women Believe
• Richard Schwartz' book No Bad Parts
• Jenna Riemersma's book on IFS Altogether You

Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here. 

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

• The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's statement
• Our podcast with Nancy Pearcey where we explain how  complementarians act as egalitarians
• The interview with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Robert Wolgemuth 
• The Great Sex Rescue, with our findings about decision-making
• Rebecca Groothuis' article about equality
• Jonathan Leeman's article (and video) about a husband's authority

Resources about the Biblical Argument for Equality:

• Marg Mowczko's site--amazing short articles on virtually every bible passage about gender. 
• Our podcast with Philip Payne, and his book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood
• Terran Williams' book How God Sees Women
• Terran Williams' series refuting Mike Winger's videos
• Julie Zine Coleman's book On Purpose 

Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.

Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch at our store, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

• The Great Sex Rescue!  Learn more, or get it right from Amazon.
• Our Healthy Sexuality Rubric where we scored the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue.
• The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to tell others about our findings
• Our podcast where we discussed how the authors we critiqued had responded to The Great Sex Rescue.
• The article on Julie Roys' site about Focus on the Family deleting comments on the Reel where Juli Slattery used our talking points. 
• Juli Slattery's reel on Focus on the Family's Instagram page
• The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast where Joy tells her story about The Great Sex Rescue (we're near the end) (and here's part 2!)

Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.

Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! We'll have blackout poetry crafts and other paper crafts to do with toxic books (bring them along!), a silent auction, a Q&A, and more. March 23, 2:30 - 5:00 pm. All welcome.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling?

Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulated. One is a woman who has written prolifically for them, and when you look at her articles and what she reveals about her relationship, a TON of red flags are present. The other is a woman whose husband was jailed for domestic violence, but then she prayed, he repented, and now they lead Love & Respect seminars together. And Focus on the Family thinks this is a positive message.

Today Sheila Gregoire is joined by her husband Keith and by abuse educator Sarah McDugal.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch at our store! 

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

• The article in the Revealer about Elisabeth Elliot's marriage
• My article detailing Focus on the Family's Facebook post praising the man who was jailed for domestic violence, as well as the letter I sent to Jim Daly
• My article on TradWife influencers and my concern for them
• Our podcast on Power of a Praying Wife
• Our one sheet download on Love & Respect
• Focus on the Family's article "It's the Little Things"
• Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family

Find Sarah McDugal:

• Follow Sarah on Facebook
• Find her at Wilderness to Wild

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a Jesus who understands and sympathizes with our struggles.

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch at our store! 

Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe, looking at the problems with the book

Other Things We Talked About:

• Last week's podcast on Part 1 of Lies Women Believe
• Find Becky Castle Miller on Instagram
• Scot McKnight's book King Jesus Gospel

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.