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The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out!

With thanks to our sponsor:

If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book  Hurt and Healed by the Church 

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast: 

• Our book She Deserves Better
• The Instagram channel HerCherch with all the cartoons
• Our Orgasm Course and Libido Course
• Our podcast looking at the long-term effects of the modesty message
• Why is Dannah Gresh calling 8-year-old bellies intoxicating?
• Our one-sheet on Lies Young Women Believe
• The reel from Our Savior's Church
• The side-by-side plagiarized apology from Josh Howerton

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to talk about his new book Ministers of Propaganda, and to look at how many evangelical leaders have used logical fallacies to keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Plus let's look at how to get back to the way of Jesus!

With thanks to our sponsor:

If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book  Hurt and Healed by the Church 

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast: 

• Find Scott Coley's book Ministers of Propaganda
• Find Scott on X
• Check out The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his father’s sexual abuse of others—and how Ryan eventually learned the truth and turned his father in. And then Ryan deconstructed so much of what he had been taught—and found the real Jesus. Join us as Ryan George talks about his book Hurt and Healed by the Church.

About Ryan's Book

• Ryan’s book Hurt and Healed by the Church 
• Find all of Ryan's books

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better
• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
• and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry? You grow up under Christian patriarchy, and you experience serious emotional abuse. Today Cait West joins us to talk about her absolutely beautiful memoir Rift, about how and why she had to break free. Then Keith and I talk about why people are deconstructing, and why it’s so desperately important to listen to stories like Cait’s.

About Cait West:

• Find Cait’s book Rift
• Find Cait on Twitter and Threads 

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

• Our post on 8 things to know about deconstruction
• Our book The Great Sex Rescue 
• The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to help people understand why certain teachings hurt people

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often those who have been hurt the most by toxic teachings. Today Sarah McCammon joins us to talk about who are “ex-vangelicals”, and her own story of deconstruction. And then Keith and I talk about what it means to create a safe and just community that honors people’s fears, betrayals, and concerns.

About Sarah McCammon:

• Find Sarah's book The Exvangelicals on Amazon
• Follow Sarah on Substack

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

• Our book She Deserves Better
• The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to help people understand why certain teachings hurt people
• Marg Mowczko's site analyzing the biblical passages pertaining to women
• The saga of Robert Morris’ abuse, from Dee at Wartburg Watch who broke the story 
• Larry Linn’s Twitter thread about righteousness 

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus?

A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and why it's so problematic. We can do better, church!

Get our Downloadable One Sheet of the problems with the book Lies Young Women Believe:

Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman 

And listen to our interview with Sam about the book! 

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

• Our podcasts about the book Lies Women Believe: Part 1 and its treatment of abuse and Part 2 and its portrayal of God
• Our downloadable onesheet about Lies Women Believe
• Our book She Deserves Better 
• Our podcast going over the problems with how Dannah Gresh teaches about modesty
• Why do women support modesty messages? 
• Dannah Gresh's submission quiz

About Johnna Harris

• Follow her on Instagram and X, and find her podcast Bodies Behind the Bus

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

 Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we rewrite Harrison Butker’s commencement speech!

Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman 

And listen to our interview with Sam about the book! 

To Support Us: 

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

• Focus on the Family Broadcast, Finding the Hero in Your Husband (Part 1) 
• Harrison Butker Speech  and Transcript 
• Our Bare Marriage podcast on the idea that women talk too much (put forward by Focus on the Family under James Dobson)
• My post from last Father’s Day about framing your husband as the hero

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman: https://amzn.to/4aRrShp

Find Sam on Instagram

The Boost Your Libido Course: https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/

All about New River Fellowship Church:

• New River Fellowship
• Facebook
• Instagram

Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture.

To Support Us:

• Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
• For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
• And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things mentioned in the podcast:

• Let Men Be Men podcasts, and Let Men Be Dads
• Josh Howerton about Evangelical Honeymoons
• The Desiring God article where Greg Morse bemoans all the safe men
• The TED Talk from Frans de Waal about Alpha Males
• Rick Pidcock analyses the Stronger Men’s Conference with Mark Driscoll’s “Jezebel” outburst 
• This week’s article on turning the other cheek 

All about New River Fellowship Church

• New River Fellowship 
• Facebook
• Instagram

Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail

Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All!

Whether you're a pastors' wife, or a female pastor yourself, living life in a fishbowl can be hard. We talk about parenting, marriage, and finding friends when you're in church ministry.

Things mentioned in the Podcast:

Pastors’ Wives Tell All: Pre-order Here

Get Your Preorder Bonuses

Find out everything that’s happening at their website

Follow Pastors’ Wives Tell All on Instagram

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

• The Great Sex Rescue 
• She Deserves Better
• The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
•  The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
•  and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.