Is January really the magic month for transformation and change?

Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel say… not a chance.

In this episode, Kristin and Frances dismantle the New Year’s Resolution myth and explain why 91% of resolutions fail, often within weeks. (Hint: your nervous system does not recognize calendar dates.)

Instead of dramatic “cheeseburger-to-salads” overhauls, they make the case for something far less glamorous—but infinitely more effective: small, sustainable changes that actually stick.

You’ll learn why:

* Massive goals overwhelm the brain

* Perfectionism quietly sabotages progress

* Willpower fails when regulation is missing

* Self-sabotage is often self-protection, not laziness

This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of starting over every January and ready to build real consistency, self-trust, and long-term success—especially in a body shaped by trauma, diet culture, ADHD, or past weight loss attempts.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Kristin and Frances break down:

* Why January has zero special power for change

* How nervous system dysregulation—not lack of motivation—derails goals

* Why restriction gets confused with “discipline” (and why that backfires)

* How to stop restarting and start resetting

* Why consistency is a regulation skill, not a personality trait

This conversation blends psychology, lived experience, and trauma-informed strategy—without shame, hype, or magical thinking.

Key Takeaways

* Only 9% of New Year’s resolutions succeed. January’s “fresh start” energy is cultural conditioning—not a behavior change strategy.

* Drastic lifestyle overhauls fail because your brain can’t process multiple major changes at once. Sustainable change is built through incremental, repeatable actions.

* Willpower and perfectionism are obstacles, not solutions. Long-term success depends on nervous system regulation, self-trust, and flexibility—not pressure.

* Self-sabotage is protective, not broken behavior. Your system resists change when it feels unsafe—even when the change is “good.”

* Consistency is something you practice, not something you’re born with. It’s built through small wins, not massive promises.

Show Summary

Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel challenge the deeply ingrained belief that January is the ideal—or only—time for transformation. Despite decades of cultural hype, research shows that most resolutions fail within weeks, with only a small fraction lasting the full year.

They explain why grand, all-or-nothing goals overwhelm the brain and nervous system, especially for individuals with ADHD, trauma histories, or chronic decision fatigue. Life is unpredictable, and rigid plans collapse under real-world stress.

Kristin emphasizes that sustainable weight loss and lifestyle change come from small, strategic steps, not massive yearly overhauls. Daily anchor habits—like prioritizing protein, hydration, movement, or emotional regulation—create momentum without triggering rebellion or burnout.

The episode explores how diet culture confuses restriction with discipline, ignoring the original meaning of discipline as learning and practice. Perfectionism, scale obsession, and unrealistic timelines quietly sabotage progress, often leading to shame spirals and “start over” cycles.

Kristin and Frances reframe self-sabotage as a nervous-system survival response—not a character flaw. When change feels unsafe, the body defaults to familiar coping mechanisms. True transformation requires felt safety, emotional regulation, and identity-based change—not just willpower.

They also discuss:

* Why pressure doesn’t create lasting progress

* How to normalize setbacks without spiraling

* The power of “crowd out, don’t cut out” nutrition

* Why action builds motivation (not the other way around)

* How small, repeatable habits build self-trust and identity

The episode closes with a powerful reminder: progress doesn’t have a deadline. Growth can happen in March, July, or October just as effectively as January—when it’s grounded in compassion, regulation, and honesty.

Listen If You’re Ready To:

* Stop restarting every January

* Build consistency without burnout

* Heal your relationship with food and your body

* Create change that survives real life—not just perfect weeks

What if the holidays don’t test your discipline at all—but instead reveal how you relate to your body, your needs, and your identity under pressure?

In this episode, Kristin and Frances challenge the perfectionism trap that derails so many bariatric and GLP-1 patients during the holiday season—and offer a more sustainable, psychologically grounded way forward.

Frances shares her personal experience of having bariatric surgery just before Thanksgiving nine years ago—an unplanned crash course in learning how to cope, regulate emotions, and make intentional choices from day one. (Trial by fire, for sure.) Together, Kristin and Frances unpack why tools like surgery and GLP-1 medications are powerful—but not sufficient on their own.

Throughout the conversation, they return to one essential truth:Lasting results require more than a tool. They require mindset, nervous system regulation, emotional awareness, and self-leadership.

You’ll hear practical, real-life strategies such as:

* Using an 80/20 approach to nourishment versus enjoyment

* Grounding your nervous system before entering triggering environments

* Shifting from restriction-based thinking to identity-based decisions

* Asking “Who am I becoming?” instead of “What shouldn’t I eat?”

* Creating non-food-centered traditions that make the holidays meaningful again

Kristin and Frances also explore how seasonal depression and reduced sunlight amplify stress responses, why food tracking can serve as a neutral baseline tool (even when it’s uncomfortable), and how emotional eating often reflects unmet needs—not lack of discipline.

If you’re tired of white-knuckling the holidays, starting over every January, or feeling like success disappears in December, this episode offers 10 mindset shifts to help you honor your journey right now—not later.

Key Takeaways

* Weight loss success depends on psychological and emotional work—not just medical interventions. Surgery and GLP-1s support physiology, but they cannot override unresolved coping patterns, trauma responses, or nervous system dysregulation.

* Perfectionism during the holidays backfires. Viewing slip-ups as data instead of failure prevents all-or-nothing thinking and protects long-term progress.

* Sustainable health comes from focusing on how you want to feel—not what you’re restricting. Shifting away from moralizing food choices reduces shame cycles and supports consistency.

Show Summary

Kristin and Frances explore why the holiday season is uniquely challenging for bariatric and GLP-1 patients and how perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking often sabotage progress. Rather than treating missteps as failure, they encourage listeners to view them as information—feedback that supports growth rather than derailment.

Frances shares her experience of having surgery just before Thanksgiving, which required her to develop coping strategies immediately instead of postponing change until “after the holidays.” The hosts emphasize that waiting until January often reinforces a victim mindset and disconnects people from agency during the moments that matter most.

They discuss why sustainable weight loss requires more than surgery or medication alone, stressing the importance of addressing underlying psychological and emotional factors such as trauma, childhood conditioning, stress eating, food noise, attachment patterns, and identity-based behaviors. Health is framed as holistic—encompassing biology, environment, mental health, lifestyle behaviors, relationships, and spirituality.

The episode highlights how seasonal depression and reduced sunlight can activate fight-or-flight responses, making regulation and self-compassion even more critical. Rather than approaching the holidays with restriction or fear, listeners are encouraged to plan for enjoyment, connection, and nervous system support.

Practical strategies woven throughout the episode include:

* Setting time boundaries at social events

* Eating protein first to stabilize blood sugar

* Hydrating intentionally to prevent false hunger cues

* Grounding before meals to prevent dissociation and overeating

Kristin and Frances also examine emotional eating as a learned coping mechanism—often rooted in self-abandonment, stress, or unmet emotional needs. By learning to pause and ask what the body actually needs—comfort, connection, rest, or nourishment—listeners can interrupt automatic patterns and rebuild self-trust.

The episode emphasizes treating bariatric surgery or GLP-1 medication as a partnership with behavior and lifestyle change, not a punishment, a negotiation, or a cure-all. They’re tools that require partnership with behavior, mindset, and lifestyle change. Comparing yourself to others or “testing limits” undermines self-trust. Sustainable success comes from honoring satiety cues, individual needs, and long-term self-leadership.

Listeners are invited to shift holiday traditions away from food-centered focus toward experience-based connection—games, creativity, shared rituals, movement, and meaningful time together. By cultivating multiple sources of pleasure beyond food, reliance on eating as the primary emotional outlet naturally decreases.

Kristin and Frances close by inviting listeners to release “perfect plan pressure” and anchor into identity. Asking daily, “Who am I becoming?” supports intentional decisions, strengthens self-trust, and creates momentum that lasts long after the holidays end.

Final Thoughts…

You don’t need stricter rules this season. You need regulation, intention, and self-trust.

Progress doesn’t disappear in December—and it doesn’t require waiting until January.

Chapters

* 00:00 – Welcome & Episode Framing

* 03:30 – Frances’ Surgery-Right-Before-Thanksgiving Story

* 07:30 – Why Tools Alone Aren’t Enough

* 11:30 – Holiday Perfectionism & All-or-Nothing Thinking

* 15:30 – Seasonal Depression, Stress, & the Nervous System

* 19:30 – Planning to Enjoy, Not Survive

* 23:30 – The 80/20 Approach: Nourishment vs. Enjoyment

* 27:00 – Emotional Eating & Unmet Needs

* 31:00 – Respecting Your Tool (Don’t Test It)

* 34:30 – Protein, Hydration, & False Hunger

* 38:00 – Scheduling Downtime & ADHD-Friendly Regulation

* 41:30 – From Food-Centered to Experience-Centered Holidays

* 45:00 – Releasing the Perfect Plan & Tracking as Data

* 48:30 – Identity Work: “Who Am I Becoming?”

* 52:00 – Final Thoughts & Community Invitation

Top 10 Holiday Mindset Tips for Bariatric & GLP-1 Patients

In this episode, we walk through 10 practical, psychology-backed shifts to help you feel supported instead of sabotaged this season.

1. Plan to Enjoy — Not to Survive The holidays aren’t something to “get through.” Decide ahead of time how you want to feel after events—connected, content, confident—and let that guide your choices instead of guilt or pressure.

2. Ditch the All-or-Nothing Trap One cookie doesn’t erase progress. One “perfect” day doesn’t define success. Sustainable eaters think in patterns and averages, not extremes. Aim for nourishment and enjoyment.

3. Anchor Before You Enter the Room Before food shows up, regulate first. Slow your breathing, drop your shoulders, and check in with your body. Regulation creates choice—dysregulation creates impulse.

4. Respect Your Tool — Don’t Test It Your surgery or GLP-1 isn’t something to challenge or override. It’s a partnership. Eat slowly, chew intentionally, and stop at comfortable satisfaction—not discomfort.

5. Stay Hydrated and Protein-First Hydration and protein stabilize blood sugar and reduce “false hunger.” Simple tools—like a shaker bottle or electrolytes—make a bigger difference than people realize.

6. Manage Emotions, Not Menus Holiday cravings often signal stress, loneliness, or exhaustion—not hunger. Ask what emotion needs attention first, then choose food from a regulated place.

7. Schedule Downtime Like You Schedule Meals Overbooked nervous systems seek relief—often through food. Protect rest, alone time, and decompression. Regulation prevents chaos snacking.

8. Shift the Focus From Food to Experience Food doesn’t have to be the centerpiece. Create memories through connection, traditions, gratitude rituals, movement, music, or giving.

9. Release the “Perfect Plan” Pressure Unplanned bites or missed workouts aren’t failures—they’re feedback. Self-leadership is about course-correction, not self-punishment.

10. Decide Who You’re Becoming This Season Instead of leading with fear (“I hope I don’t regain”), anchor into identity: “I’m someone who listens to my body and respects my limits. ”That identity lasts long after the holidays end.

Listener Takeaway

You don’t need stricter rules this season—you need better self-trust, regulation, and flexibility. Progress isn’t lost in December. It’s protected through awareness and compassion.

If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone navigating the holidays after surgery or on a GLP-1. And if you want deeper support around mindset, emotional regulation, and long-term success, make sure you’re connected with us inside the Bariatric Mindset community.

What if your lowest moment became the starting point for everything that followed?

In this episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd sits down with Tosha Stafford, The Regain Coach, for an unfiltered conversation about weight regain, emotional healing, and what it actually takes to create sustainable change after weight loss surgery.

Tosha shares her journey from corporate America to bariatric surgery, through regain, alcohol use, and deep emotional work — including two years of consistent therapy that changed her relationship with food, stress, and self-worth.

Together, they explore why regain isn’t failure, how emotional capacity drives behavior, and why willpower alone can’t withstand life’s hardest seasons. This episode is for anyone who’s tired of starting over — and ready to build real skills for lasting self-trust.

Because winning isn’t just weight loss — it’s how you show up for yourself every day.

Episode 18 | Guest Introduction – Tosha Stafford

For Episode 18, I’m joined by Tosha Stafford, widely known as The Regain Coach — a bariatric mentor who helps women rebuild confidence, structure, and self-trust after weight regain.

Tosha didn’t set out to become a coach — she became one because she lived this journey herself. After bariatric surgery in 2013, significant weight loss, and then multiple seasons of regain during major life stress and medical complications, she learned firsthand what most people are never taught: surgery isn’t the finish line — it’s the starting point.

Today, Tosha is the founder of Bari-Fit and the creator of programs like Winning Against Regain, The Success Playbook, and Back on Track, all built from the exact tools she used to lose regain and stay out of the shame-and-restart cycle.

Her work is grounded in structure, mindset, and daily action — not perfection, punishment, or diet culture — and she’s known for helping women stop feeling like they “failed” their surgery and start showing up for their lives again.

You can find Tosha at www.barifit.com and on social media @theregaincoach.

Show Summary

Dr. Kristin Lloyd welcomes Tosha Stafford, known as The Regain Coach, for a deeply honest conversation about weight regain, emotional healing, and what sustainable transformation actually requires after weight loss surgery.

Tosha shares her early career in Corporate America, where constant travel, client entertainment, and long workdays slowly contributed to weight gain. At over 300 pounds, a humiliating incident at the Boise airport — where an airline employee demanded she purchase two seats — became a defining moment. Facing overwhelming shame and fear of losing her job, Tosha sought weight loss surgery not from a place of self-care, but survival.

In 2013, she traveled to Tijuana for surgery. The physical changes followed quickly, supported by disciplined exercise and macro-based nutrition coaching. As her body changed, so did her confidence — and soon she was helping others navigate bariatric nutrition. But despite outward success, something deeper remained unresolved.

Between 2016–2017, a “perfect storm” hit: marriage, becoming a stepmother to two teenagers, complications from cosmetic surgery, a stressful lawsuit, and a transition into self-employment. The weight returned — along with alcohol use, shame, and self-judgment. Tosha realized that despite being highly competent professionally, she lacked the emotional skill set required for this level of stress and identity transition.

Instead of doubling down on dieting, Tosha committed to therapy every other week for two years, involving her husband Chris and her family in the process. During that time, she recognized her pattern of emotional eating and identified herself as a food addict — not as a moral failing, but as an adaptive response to unmet emotional needs she had never been taught to address.

Together, Kristin and Tosha explore the reality that weight loss surgery removes a coping mechanism without replacing it. When food, alcohol, or control disappear, unresolved trauma, stress, grief, and emotional dysregulation surface. True healing requires learning how to self-soothe, set boundaries, assess emotional capacity, and redefine success beyond the scale.

They discuss perfectionism, identity loss, sobriety, emotional regulation, family dynamics, and the importance of investing time, energy, and resources into real skill-building — not quick fixes. Drawing on metaphors like emotional “gas tanks” and post-traumatic growth, the conversation reframes struggle as information, not failure.

Ultimately, Tosha shares how redefining “winning” transformed her life. Winning now means showing up with integrity, closing the kitchen when needed, honoring emotional limits, and choosing growth over self-punishment — even when it’s uncomfortable.

This episode is a powerful reminder that thriving after weight loss surgery isn’t about trying harder, it’s about becoming more emotionally skilled, self-aware, and supported.

Key Takeaways

• Weight loss surgery is a tool — not a life solution. Major life stressors can override even the most “successful” surgeries, revealing that physical interventions alone don’t resolve emotional regulation, identity, or coping patterns.

• Regain is not failure — it’s information. Weight regain often signals unaddressed emotional needs, stress overload, or skill gaps — not a lack of discipline or commitment.

• Two years of consistent therapy changed everything. Rather than jumping back into dieting or “fixing” food, Tosha invested in deep emotional and psychological work — a step most people avoid but desperately need.

• Willpower collapses under stress; skills sustain you. Lasting change comes from learning emotional regulation, boundary-setting, and alternative coping mechanisms — not from tighter rules.

• Mental and emotional capacity matters daily. Operating at 20% capacity but expecting 100% performance is a recipe for burnout and relapse. Self-assessment must come before self-expectation.

• Alcohol often replaces food when emotional hunger isn’t addressed. Removing food as a coping tool without addressing emotional needs can lead to substitute behaviors that feel just as destructive.

• Winning isn’t the number on the scale — it’s how you show up daily. Success becomes defined by self-respect, boundaries, emotional honesty, and choosing alignment over self-punishment.

Chapters

00:00:00 - From Fear to Surgery: Tasha’s Journey Begins

00:06:49 - From Macro Counting to Real Life Challenges

00:09:25 - Struggling with Weight Regain and Shame

00:13:49 - Learning to Prioritize Emotional Needs

00:16:06 - The Hidden Emotional Work After Weight Loss Surgery

00:18:14 - Weight Loss Surgery’s Hidden Emotional Toll

00:20:34 - Reserve Your Top Five Percent Daily

00:23:45 - High Performers Struggle with Asking for Help

00:28:40 - Weight Loss Surgery Doesn’t Fix Your Brain

00:35:30 - Choosing Zero Alcohol During Life Stress

00:38:01 - Quitting Alcohol for Better Sleep

00:40:39 - Learning New Skills in Sobriety

00:42:27 - Learning Lessons and Simplifying Your Business

00:49:32 - Managing Your Journey While Others Stay the Same

00:52:49 - Setting Boundaries with Food for Success

00:56:02 - Breaking Eating Habits and Finding Your Support

00:58:40 - Choosing Growth Over Victim Mentality

01:04:22 - Time is Your Most Valuable Resource

01:12:11 - Redefining Winning Beyond the Scale

01:15:33 - Winning is Anything That Makes You Smile

01:18:18 - From Survival to Growth Mindset

Extended Bio - Tosha Stafford

Tosha Stafford is a bariatric coach, mentor, and founder of Bari-Fit, best known for her work helping women navigate weight regain with structure, and real-life strategy.

After reaching her highest weight just over 300 pounds, Tosha underwent bariatric surgery in 2013. Like many, she experienced significant weight loss — followed by seasons of regain during major life transitions, stress, and medical complications in both 2017 and 2024.

Rather than giving up or chasing perfection, Tosha returned to the fundamentals: structure, mindset, and daily follow-through. Those tools didn’t just help her lose regain — they helped her rebuild confidence, stability, and self-trust.

Today, Tosha works exclusively with women who feel stuck, discouraged, or embarrassed after regain.

Her mission is simple:

* Help women stop believing they failed their surgery

* Restore structure without shame

* Rebuild confidence through daily wins

* And remind them that weight loss doesn’t define them — courage does

Tosha is a guide, not a judge. A coach, not a critic. And her philosophy is clear: we don’t chase perfection — we chase wins.

Website: www.barifit.comInstagram & Facebook: @theregaincoach

Subscribe to the podcast to get updates on new episodes as soon as they are released.

Connect with Bariatric Mindset & Kristin Lloyd at www.bariatricmindsetsuccess.com

Join our FREE Facebook Community, Bariatric Mindset Mavens

Follow on social @bariatricmindset and @kristinlloydcoaching

Perfectionism might look like discipline or excellence on the surface, but underneath it’s often fear, shame, and a desperate attempt to control outcomes. In this honest and refreshing conversation, Dr. Kristin Lloyd and dietitian Kristin Willard, RDN unpack how perfectionism silently sabotages progress after weight loss surgery and while using GLP-1 medications.

Kristin Willard shares her own lived experience cycling between intense commitment and complete burnout — and how that same all-or-nothing pattern shows up in her clients’ nutrition, exercise, and mindset. Together, they reveal why doing it perfectly isn’t sustainable, and how chasing 100% compliance only breeds shame, inconsistency, and exhaustion.

From flexible ranges to the “even though, nevertheless” mindset shift, this episode offers compassionate, practical tools to help you build sustainable habits without the guilt. Whether you’re post-op, on GLP-1s, or simply tired of white-knuckling your wellness goals, this conversation will help you breathe again — and finally make progress that lasts.

Key Takeaways

* Progress beats perfection. The “80% good enough” mindset stops the all-or-nothing cycles that actually sabotage long-term success. Consistency matters more than intensity.

* One off-plan meal doesn’t ruin your progress — shame does. It’s not the food that derails you, it’s the guilt spiral and perfectionist thinking that follows.

* Use flexible ranges, not rigid rules. Calorie, protein, and weight ranges support self-trust and freedom while keeping structure intact.

* Social media highlight reels fuel comparison and unrealistic expectations. True success comes from personalization — not perfection.

* Self-compassion is a skill. Learning to say, “Even though I didn’t do it perfectly, nevertheless I’m still showing up,” rewires your mindset for resilience and long-term success.

Detailed Show Notes

When bariatric dietitian Kristin Willard, RDN, found herself swinging between workout obsession and total avoidance, she realized perfectionism was running the show. In this raw and insightful episode, she joins Dr. Kristin Lloyd to unpack how perfectionism undermines not only fitness goals but overall health, joy, and emotional well-being.

The two Kristins explore the perfectionism spectrum — from food rules and tracking obsessions to the guilt and shame that follow even the smallest slip. They share why trying to be “perfect” is an impossible pursuit that only fuels burnout and emotional eating.

Listeners will learn practical, compassionate tools including:

* Setting ranges (not exact numbers) for calories, protein, and weight.

* Using the “even though, nevertheless” mindset to reframe setbacks.

* Intentionally practicing small “failures” to build emotional tolerance.

* Shifting from “I blew it” to “I learned something.”

* Recognizing that acceptance isn’t complacency — it’s clarity.

They also address the influence of social media perfectionism, the illusion of control, and how unrealistic expectations can erode confidence for bariatric and GLP-1 patients. Through humor and honesty, both Kristins model what it looks like to trade shame for strategy, and perfection for peace.

The episode closes with a powerful reminder: You don’t need to be perfect to be successful — you just need to keep showing up.

Connect with Us

Guest: Kristin Willard, RDNWebsite: www.bariatricmealprep.comInstagram: @bariatric.meal.prep

Host: Dr. Kristin Lloyd, PhDWebsite: www.bariatricmindsetsuccess.com

If this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to:⭐ Subscribe to the Bariatric Mindset Success Podcast💌 Grab your FREE Food Noise Freedom Mini-Course 🎙️ Leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that good enough is more than enough.

‘Tis the season for food, family… and emotional fatigue.

In this episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel expose the truth about “energy vampires in Santa hats” — those well-meaning (and not-so-well-meaning) family members who can drain your energy faster than a buffet drains your willpower.

Together, they unpack how to protect your peace during the holidays — not just from overeating, but from emotional overload, guilt, and toxic family dynamics. You’ll learn how to stay grounded, maintain your boundaries, and show up for yourself even in the most triggering environments.

Whether you’re recovering from surgery or managing your health through medication, this episode will help you create a Holiday Survival Toolkit so you can stay cozy, not complacent — protecting both your emotional well-being and your long-term progress.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

* Why holiday stress and social anxiety have intensified post-pandemic — and what to do about it

* How to identify and neutralize “energy vampires in Santa hats” who drain your emotional reserves

* The “cozy, not complacent” approach to navigating the holidays without losing momentum

* Setting healthy boundaries with food, family, and expectations — without guilt

* How to handle body and weight comments with grace (and a sense of humor)

* Practical exit strategies, scripts, and deflection tools to keep your peace intact Why protecting your energy isn’t avoidance — it’s alignment

Key Takeaways

* Social anxiety has skyrocketed since the pandemic, making holiday gatherings emotionally harder than ever for bariatric patients — often more due to the people than the food.

* Emotional energy drains lead to poor food choices. Protecting your peace protects your progress.

* Boundaries are sacred. You can honor family traditions without betraying your own needs.

* Preparation beats willpower. Having mental rehearsal, supportive allies, and exit plans ready helps you thrive under pressure.

* “Their chaos isn’t your cue.” You don’t have to participate in others’ dysfunction just because you’re invited to the show.

* Choose presence over perfection. Staying connected to your why helps you maintain momentum while enjoying the season.

Episode Summary

Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel dive into the emotional and psychological side of holiday survival for bariatric patients. Beyond the buffet tables and dessert trays, this episode tackles what truly derails progress: toxic family dynamics, emotional exhaustion, and guilt-driven eating patterns.

Kristin shares personal reflections on navigating complex family relationships, grief, and guilt around her father’s last Christmas — highlighting the courage it takes to maintain boundaries without disconnecting from love. Frances brings practical insights on managing social anxiety and re-entry into family dynamics post-pandemic, along with tactical humor like “dysfunctional family bingo” to lighten heavy moments.

Together, they emphasize that protecting your energy isn’t selfish — it’s essential. You’ll learn how to:

* Set clear boundaries around food and conversation topics

* Use short, assertive responses like “No, thanks,” or “I’m good for now” without overexplaining

* Spot emotional triggers before they lead to mindless eating

* Create your own “holiday peace plan” — identifying 3 joyful events, 3 personal boundaries, and 3 energy-restoring rituals

Whether you’re navigating passive-aggressive relatives, pressure to eat, or feelings of loneliness, this conversation offers both emotional validation and actionable tools to get you through the season with confidence, compassion, and grace.

Mentioned in This Episode

* “Survive the Holidays Masterclass” — Dr. Kristin Lloyd’s 3-part self-study on-demand training that helps you manage holiday triggers, set clear boundaries, and protect your progress.🎧 Includes: printable workbooks, scripts, and the Dysfunctional Family Bingo bonus!💰 Available now for just $99 — limited time only.👉 Grab your spot here before enrollment closes!

Connect & Learn More

* Website: www.bariatricmindsetsuccess.com

* Follow on Instagram: @kristinlloydcoaching

* Join the Free Facebook Community: Bariatric Mindset Mavens

* Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen

Final Thought

Protecting your peace this season is a radical act of self-love.You don’t have to prove your worth through your plate or your politeness.You’ve earned the right to rest, reset, and reconnect with what matters most — you.

The surprising truth about why bariatric surgery and weight-loss medications seem to “stop working” might completely change how you approach your journey.

Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel dismantle the myth that bariatric tools or GLP-1s lose power over time. In reality, these tools are neutral amplifiers—mirrors of your existing behaviors, not magic wands. Just as diabetes medication requires ongoing dietary management, weight-loss tools demand continual commitment to lifestyle, mindset, and emotional health.

Together, they explore how metabolic adaptation isn’t failure—it’s biology—and why genuine transformation happens when you pair medical tools with mental, emotional, and behavioral growth. You’ll learn how emotional eating, hormonal shifts, and trauma responses can hijack progress, and how self-leadership, boundaries, and consistency bring you back into alignment.

This conversation goes beyond motivation—it’s a call to radical honesty, self-responsibility, and compassionate discipline. Whether you’re using surgery, medication, or mindset work, this episode helps you reclaim your power and partner with your tools instead of giving them your power.

Key Takeaways

✅ Bariatric tools are neutral amplifiers, not magic fixesSurgery and GLP-1s magnify your current habits. If you’re consistent and intentional, they work with you; if you’re in avoidance or chaos, they mirror that back. The tools don’t fail—behavioral alignment does.

✅ Obesity is a chronic metabolic condition—not a moral flawLike diabetes or hypertension, long-term management requires ongoing care, emotional regulation, and nutrition—not shame or quick fixes.

✅ Your body’s adaptation isn’t failure—it’s feedbackPlateaus are part of biology, not proof something’s “broken.” Learn to read your body’s cues, not fight them.

✅ Discipline isn’t punishment—it’s consistency with compassionRigid “120% perfection” burns you out. Sustainable transformation lives in the 80-20 zone: consistent, flexible, human.

✅ Emotional work is non-negotiableDistinguish between physical hunger, emotional hunger, and habitual triggers. True mastery comes from awareness, not avoidance.

✅ Personal responsibility = power reclaimedYour tools are only as effective as the self-leadership behind them. Healing means moving from victimhood to ownership and partnership with your own body.

Episode Highlights

* The hidden danger of vanity-driven surgery vs. wellness-driven transformation

* How shame, comparison, and all-or-nothing thinking sabotage progress

* The “small boundary pushes” that derail results faster than big slip-ups

* Why menopause, stress, and trauma can reignite emotional eating

* How to prepare your nervous system for life’s “storms” before crisis hits

* The mindset shift from external validation to internal accountability

* Why emotional regulation and nervous system safety matter more than willpower

Reflection Prompt

Ask yourself:

“Am I partnering with my bariatric or medical tool—or handing my power over to it?”

Journal on where you’ve outsourced responsibility to the tool instead of using it as a mirror for growth. Where are you ready to step back into partnership and self-trust?

🎧 Listen if you’re ready to…

* Break free from all-or-nothing thinking

* Stop blaming your body or your tools

* Build sustainable, emotionally intelligent habits

* Reclaim power and peace in your post-surgery or medication journey

Bariatric Mindset is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

If you’re new here, WELCOME!!

Remember to hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already —and check out my Survive the Holidays Masterclass Series, now just $99.You’ll get 3 trainings, workbooks, and real tools to walk through the season without chaos, shame, or food spirals.

GLP-1s might shrink your hunger. Surgery shrinks your stomach.I help you shrink the self-sabotage.This isn’t about meds vs mindset—it’s about making all of it mean something.I’m not anti-med. I’m pro-wholeness.Let’s get you there.

Check out Kristin’s work at Bariatric Mindset

Find Kristin on Facebook or on Instagram @kristinlloydcoaching

This isn’t about candy, calories, or control — it’s about the patterns and the thinking that keeps you stuck.In this episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd calls out the real holiday horror story: the 4 P’s that quietly sabotage weight loss success every year — Perfectionism, Procrastination, People-Pleasing, and Powerless Thinking.

You’ll learn how these sneaky survival patterns masquerade as motivation but actually keep you looping in shame, delay, and self-abandonment. And more importantly, you’ll discover the 3 P’s that heal you: Pause, Perspective, and Practice.

Because lasting change isn’t about perfection — it’s about awareness, regulation, and repetition.

In This Episode:

* Why magical thinking (“I’ll start fresh after the holidays”) is the real trick, not the treat.

* How the 4 P’s show up in your thoughts, food choices, and emotional responses.

* The difference between connection and compliance — and why only one creates freedom.

* How “Powerless Thinking” is really a lack of pause power — and how to reclaim it.

* The Viktor Frankl principle that changes everything:“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose.”

* The 3 practices that build that space — and how to use them daily.

* Why your nervous system, not your willpower, drives your holiday habits.

* How to replace “I can’t stop” with “I can pause, and choose.”

Key Takeaways

* The 4 P’s That Haunt You:

* Perfectionism – breeds shame and all-or-nothing thinking.

* Procrastination – delays progress in the name of comfort.

* People-Pleasing – trades peace for approval.

* Powerless Thinking – convinces you “I can’t” when really, you haven’t practiced the pause.

* The 3 P’s That Heal You:

* Pause – The sacred space between urge and action.

* Perspective Shift – Seeing obstacles as opportunities for mastery.

* Practice – Repetition turns awareness into embodiment.

* Connection ≠ Compliance:Connection is self-led choice aligned with your truth.Compliance is fear-based behavior rooted in guilt, shame, or external validation.

* Your Pause = Your Power.Every pause is a portal back to your freedom, your integrity, and your self-trust.

Journal Prompts to Reflect On

* Where am I relying on magical thinking instead of mindful action?

* When was the last time I paused before reacting?

* Am I connecting — or just complying — with my goals?

* What would practicing progress instead of perfection look like this week?

Mentioned in This Episode

* Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

* The B.L.A.S.T.E.D. Check-In (Bored, Lonely, Angry/Anxious, Stressed/Sad, Tired, Emotional, Deprived/Disconnected)

* The Survive the Holidays Masterclass Bundle – your essential toolkit for staying sane, steady, and self-led this season

Closing Thoughts

The scariest part of the holidays isn’t the candy bowl — it’s believing you’re powerless.Your pause is your power.Your perspective is your protection.Your practice is your path.

Connect with Dr. Kristin Lloyd & Bariatric Mindset:🌐 Bariatric Mindset Success💌 Subscribe on Substack: Bariatric Mindset Success💬 Join the Bariatric Mindset Mavens Facebook group

What if the stories you tell yourself about food are actually keeping you stuck?

In this powerful and deeply relatable episode, Dr. Kristin and Frances Vogel unpack how our internal food narratives—formed from childhood conditioning, diet culture, and emotional survival—can quietly sabotage our relationship with food, our bodies, and ourselves.

Frances shares her vulnerable personal journey from internalized shame and food restriction to food freedom and self-compassion. Together, they explore how seemingly harmless beliefs (“I can’t be trusted with food,” “I’ll never have self-control,” “healthy people don’t eat that”) become the very scripts that keep us trapped in self-fulfilling prophecies.

Through raw stories and real psychological insight, Dr. Kristin and Frances dismantle diet culture’s perfectionism, “all or nothing” thinking, and external validation traps. You’ll learn how to shift your food story one choice at a time—because the goal isn’t to control food, but to reclaim your power, rebuild trust with your body, and reauthor your narrative from the inside out.

Chapters

00:00:01 - Stories That Keep You Stuck

00:03:56 - Food Stories and Self-Limiting Beliefs

00:08:56 - Changing Fitness and Food Narratives

00:13:59 - Building Small Habits for Big Changes

00:16:03 - Rewriting Your Food Story and Identity

00:21:09 - Food Narratives and Shifting Mindset

00:23:40 - Food Memories and Emotional Connection

00:25:16 - Finding Alternative Comfort Tools

00:27:39 - Redefining Comfort Food vs Using Food for Comfort

00:36:41 - Comfort Food vs Using Food for Comfort

00:39:54 - Controlling Your Narrative in Relationships

00:43:40 - Questioning “I Can’t” Stories

00:47:03 - Questioning Your Self-Limiting Stories

00:50:10 - Rupture and Repair in Relationships

00:53:22 - Shifting Your Story to Change Behavior

00:57:02 - Defining Personal Health Standards

01:01:33 - Finding Your Starting Point Today

01:04:36 - Creating Your New Weight Loss Story

Key Takeaways

✅ Your food story began long before you realized it.Early experiences—like being told “fat people shouldn’t eat that”—often turn into lifelong scripts that drive guilt, shame, and restriction.

✅ “All or nothing” thinking keeps you from finding balance.If you can’t do it perfectly, you might not do it at all—and that story quietly reinforces the idea that you’re failing when you’re not.

✅ The real problem isn’t food—it’s your inner narrative.Your self-talk determines whether food feels like the enemy, a comfort, or a neutral tool for nourishment.

✅ Tiny, consistent shifts create new identities.As James Clear teaches in Atomic Habits, small daily actions—like putting on your workout clothes or choosing one balanced meal—compound into identity-level transformation.

✅ Healing is slow, deliberate, and worth it.Freedom isn’t found in another diet. It’s built through mindful, compassionate choices that reshape who you believe yourself to be.

✅ Comfort food isn’t the enemy—emotional avoidance is.Learn to separate using food for comfort from enjoying food that’s comforting. One regulates emotion; the other connects you to memory, joy, and culture.

✅ Your truth isn’t fixed—it’s re-writeable.The moment you question your “I can’t” stories, you begin creating new evidence that you can.

Episode Summary

Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Frances Vogel shine a light on how deeply ingrained stories about food, body image, and worthiness influence every choice we make. From food shame and emotional eating to perfectionism and identity, they reveal how rewriting our personal narratives leads to genuine freedom. Whether you’re post-op, on GLP-1s, or simply healing your relationship with food, this episode will challenge the way you see yourself—and remind you that you hold the pen to your next chapter.

Connect with Dr. Kristin Lloyd & Bariatric Mindset:🌐 Bariatric Mindset Success💌 Subscribe on Substack: Bariatric Mindset Success💬 Join the Bariatric Mindset Mavens Facebook group

Twelve years. Two hundred pounds lost. And more lessons learned than any surgeon, nutritionist, or wellness plan could have ever prepared her for.

Dr. Kristin Lloyd marks her 12-year surgiversary by getting brutally honest about what life is really like after gastric sleeve surgery and a 200-pound weight loss.

In this deeply personal milestone episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd pulls back the curtain on her 12-year journey after gastric sleeve surgery — not to glorify the before-and-after, but to tell the truth about what happens after the “honeymoon phase” ends and real life begins.

She reveals that surgery was the catalyst—not the cure. What she thought would “fix” hunger and cravings actually became a mirror reflecting the deeper emotional work ahead: trauma, anxiety, ADHD, and years of using food for comfort and control.

This episode isn’t a highlight reel—it’s the truth about transformation, maintenance, and the messy middle no one talks about.

Kristin shares how, in the early days, she believed surgery would “fix” her hunger, silence her cravings, and finally bring peace to her relationship with food. But what she discovered was far more complex. The surgery was only the catalyst — the spark that forced her to confront the emotional, psychological, and energetic roots of her patterns.

True healing, she discovered, goes far beyond the food stuff. It’s about uncovering the emotional wounds, nervous system imbalances, and self-protective patterns that once made food feel like safety, control, or love — and learning to meet those needs with compassion instead of criticism.

From navigating trauma, ADHD, and anxiety, to realizing how “eating clean” can quietly morph into disordered control, Kristin takes listeners through the messy, sacred middle of healing — the part where the body changes faster than the mind and heart can catch up.

It’s an honest look at the emotional and spiritual evolution required for lasting transformation. Kristin discusses how she learned to partner with her body instead of policing it, and how nervous system regulation became her foundation for healing. She explains why shame never works long-term, how self-trust became her superpower, and what it truly means when emotional eating doesn’t disappear… but evolves.

Listeners will hear about the realities of maintenance during major life transitions — motherhood, perimenopause, and identity reinvention — and how curiosity, compassion, and consistency replaced punishment and perfectionism.

This episode is a love letter to anyone who’s ever thought, “I thought I’d be further along by now.” It’s a reminder that your healing doesn’t have an endpoint — and that peace, not perfection, is the new goal weight.

Chapters

00:00:01 - Welcome to Bariatric Mindset Podcast

00:02:46 - Partnering With Your Body for Healing

00:06:50 - Creating Safety and Awareness in Eating

00:16:00 - You Can’t Hate Yourself Into Healing

00:18:57 - Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism for Lasting Change

00:23:15 - Reparenting Yourself Through Self-Compassion

00:27:32 - Nervous System and Emotional Eating

00:31:36 - Healing Stress Addiction and Food Patterns

00:35:48 - Maintenance Isn’t Sexy, It’s Sacred

00:39:11 - From Obsession to Body Wisdom

00:41:19 - Building Body Trust During Perimenopause

00:43:29 - Scale Doesn’t Tell Whole Story

00:54:42 - Identity Reinvention and Self-Concept Change

00:57:26 - Relapse Isn’t Failure, It’s Feedback

01:01:24 - Peace is the New Goal Weight

01:05:42 - Finding Inner Power Beyond Weight Loss

01:10:38 - Gratitude Beyond Success and Body Partnership

01:12:56 - You Are The Hero Of Your Journey

Key Takeaways

* Why the real work begins after the honeymoon phase (12-24 months post-surgery)

* How to partner with your body instead of punishing or “fixing” it

* The danger of “eating clean” extremes turning into disordered eating

* Why shame-based motivation never works—and self-compassion always wins

* How to develop self-trust using loving, parental inner dialogue

* What it means when emotional eating evolves rather than disappears

* How to expand your nervous-system capacity so you can feel safe in your body

* Why peace—not perfection—is the new goal weight

Bariatric Mindset is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Celebrating my 12 year Surgiversary, I’m offering some amazing specials to guide you on your journey, for support this holiday season and beyond.

Get access to my 3-1 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass Bundle for only $99, or get the Survive the Holidays Masterclass Bundle for FREE when you sign up for the Surgiversary Savings Bundle.

You’ll get the Self-Reinvention Starter Pack — six powerful on-demand modules that spark lasting change, shift old patterns, and help you rebuild self-trust from the inside out. These are the foundational and fundamental lessons I’ve been teaching in my practice for years inside my groups - and now I’m offering them as a self-study, on-demand option! They are life changing!

PLUS… you’ll also get bonus access to my Survive the Holidays Masterclass Series — 3 trainings in one to help you move through the holidays with confidence, calm, and control.

It’s your roadmap to long-term growth, healing, and behavioral change — all in one place.

🔥 Don’t sleep on this — this deal is way too good to miss! Get access to the surgiversary savings bundle today!

Available now for a one-time investment of $549 or choose flexible payment plans starting at just $49/month.

Connect with Dr. Kristin Lloyd & Bariatric Mindset:🌐 Bariatric Mindset Success💌 Subscribe on Substack: Bariatric Mindset Success💬 Join the Bariatric Mindset Mavens Facebook group

Episode 11: From Fear to Flow - Redefining Fitness with Geof Shuford

Show Notes:

In this episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd sits down with Geof Shuford, personal trainer, mindset coach, author, and founder of Coaching for Bariatric Success, to redefine what fitness truly means for people healing from diet culture, trauma, and burnout.

After navigating ADHD, divorce, and his own transformation, Geof discovered exercise not as punishment—but as play, therapy, and freedom. For over a decade, he’s helped bariatric patients and GLP-1 users rebuild strength, mobility, and confidence through movement that honors both body and mind.

Together, Kristin and Geof unpack how trauma, perfectionism, and gym anxiety keep people stuck—and how a trauma-informed, nervous-system-aware approach can make movement healing again.

You’ll discover:

* Why exercise is a nervous-system regulator, not a self-discipline test

* How to rebuild strength, safety, and self-trust in your body

* The “50 First Dates” approach to finding movement you actually enjoy

* Why chasing joy, not metrics, creates long-term success

* How to measure progress beyond the scale with functional wins that matter

Kristin shares how rediscovering swimming helped her manage ADHD and reconnect to her body, while Geof shares stories of clients who overcame movement fears and found confidence in their strength. Together, they invite listeners to drop the “shoulds,” break up with perfectionism, and fall in love with movement again.

If you’ve ever struggled to find consistency or joy in fitness—whether you’ve had bariatric surgery, take GLP-1s, or just feel disconnected—this episode will help you move from fear to flow.

Chapters

00:00:00 - Exercise as Meditative Practice

00:03:48 - From Gym to Bariatric Support

00:06:11 - Bariatric Journey and Fitness Motivation

00:13:01 - Strength Training Won’t Make You Bulky

00:16:02 - 50 First Dates with Exercise

00:18:21 - Find an Activity You Love

00:22:27 - Weight Trauma and Gym Anxiety

00:25:04 - Gym Shame, Sweat, and Childhood Trauma

00:30:09 - Overcoming Gym Intimidation

00:33:41 - Overcoming Gym Insecurities

00:36:30 - Dealing with Judgment and Fear

00:39:40 - Relearning Your Body for Mobility

00:47:52 - Start Slow with Short Sessions

00:54:02 - Mindful Movement and Body Awareness

00:56:57 - Non-Scale Victories and Mindset

Key Takeaways

• Movement is medicine for the mind. Fitness can be a form of meditation, regulation, and self-therapy—especially for those navigating ADHD, anxiety, or life transitions like divorce or major weight loss.

• Bariatric surgery is a beginning, not the finish line. Long-term transformation requires continued strength, mobility, and mindset work to sustain results and rebuild self-trust.

• Joyful, trauma-informed movement heals where discipline alone can’t. When exercise feels safe and playful, the nervous system opens to growth, consistency, and confidence.

• Myths like “strength training makes women bulky” are fear-based distractions. True strength training builds metabolic health, confidence, and functional freedom—not bulk.

• You don’t need to love the gym—you need to find your flow. Think “50 first dates with movement.” Experiment until you find what makes your body feel alive and your mind at peace.

• Progress isn’t just scale-based. Functional wins—lifting groceries, climbing stairs, playing with your kids—reveal genuine healing and self-trust returning.

• Self-compassion beats perfectionism every time. Sustainable fitness and healing come from curiosity, flexibility, and patience, not punishment or comparison.

Connect with Geof Shuford & Coaching for Bariatric Success:🌐 Coaching for Bariatric Success📘 Now What? What to Expect in your First Year after Bariatric Surgery on Amazon💌 Subscribe on Substack: Coaching for Bariatric Success🎧 The Weight of Change Podcast & The Lean In Podcast

Connect with Dr. Kristin Lloyd & Bariatric Mindset:🌐 Bariatric Mindset Success💌 Subscribe on Substack: Bariatric Mindset Success💬 Join the Bariatric Mindset Mavens Facebook group