What if your lowest moment became the starting point for everything that followed?
In this episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd sits down with Tosha Stafford, The Regain Coach, for an unfiltered conversation about weight regain, emotional healing, and what it actually takes to create sustainable change after weight loss surgery.
Tosha shares her journey from corporate America to bariatric surgery, through regain, alcohol use, and deep emotional work — including two years of consistent therapy that changed her relationship with food, stress, and self-worth.
Together, they explore why regain isn’t failure, how emotional capacity drives behavior, and why willpower alone can’t withstand life’s hardest seasons. This episode is for anyone who’s tired of starting over — and ready to build real skills for lasting self-trust.
Because winning isn’t just weight loss — it’s how you show up for yourself every day.
Episode 18 | Guest Introduction – Tosha Stafford
For Episode 18, I’m joined by Tosha Stafford, widely known as The Regain Coach — a bariatric mentor who helps women rebuild confidence, structure, and self-trust after weight regain.
Tosha didn’t set out to become a coach — she became one because she lived this journey herself. After bariatric surgery in 2013, significant weight loss, and then multiple seasons of regain during major life stress and medical complications, she learned firsthand what most people are never taught: surgery isn’t the finish line — it’s the starting point.
Today, Tosha is the founder of Bari-Fit and the creator of programs like Winning Against Regain, The Success Playbook, and Back on Track, all built from the exact tools she used to lose regain and stay out of the shame-and-restart cycle.
Her work is grounded in structure, mindset, and daily action — not perfection, punishment, or diet culture — and she’s known for helping women stop feeling like they “failed” their surgery and start showing up for their lives again.
You can find Tosha at www.barifit.com and on social media @theregaincoach.
Show Summary
Dr. Kristin Lloyd welcomes Tosha Stafford, known as The Regain Coach, for a deeply honest conversation about weight regain, emotional healing, and what sustainable transformation actually requires after weight loss surgery.
Tosha shares her early career in Corporate America, where constant travel, client entertainment, and long workdays slowly contributed to weight gain. At over 300 pounds, a humiliating incident at the Boise airport — where an airline employee demanded she purchase two seats — became a defining moment. Facing overwhelming shame and fear of losing her job, Tosha sought weight loss surgery not from a place of self-care, but survival.
In 2013, she traveled to Tijuana for surgery. The physical changes followed quickly, supported by disciplined exercise and macro-based nutrition coaching. As her body changed, so did her confidence — and soon she was helping others navigate bariatric nutrition. But despite outward success, something deeper remained unresolved.
Between 2016–2017, a “perfect storm” hit: marriage, becoming a stepmother to two teenagers, complications from cosmetic surgery, a stressful lawsuit, and a transition into self-employment. The weight returned — along with alcohol use, shame, and self-judgment. Tosha realized that despite being highly competent professionally, she lacked the emotional skill set required for this level of stress and identity transition.
Instead of doubling down on dieting, Tosha committed to therapy every other week for two years, involving her husband Chris and her family in the process. During that time, she recognized her pattern of emotional eating and identified herself as a food addict — not as a moral failing, but as an adaptive response to unmet emotional needs she had never been taught to address.
Together, Kristin and Tosha explore the reality that weight loss surgery removes a coping mechanism without replacing it. When food, alcohol, or control disappear, unresolved trauma, stress, grief, and emotional dysregulation surface. True healing requires learning how to self-soothe, set boundaries, assess emotional capacity, and redefine success beyond the scale.
They discuss perfectionism, identity loss, sobriety, emotional regulation, family dynamics, and the importance of investing time, energy, and resources into real skill-building — not quick fixes. Drawing on metaphors like emotional “gas tanks” and post-traumatic growth, the conversation reframes struggle as information, not failure.
Ultimately, Tosha shares how redefining “winning” transformed her life. Winning now means showing up with integrity, closing the kitchen when needed, honoring emotional limits, and choosing growth over self-punishment — even when it’s uncomfortable.
This episode is a powerful reminder that thriving after weight loss surgery isn’t about trying harder, it’s about becoming more emotionally skilled, self-aware, and supported.
Key Takeaways
• Weight loss surgery is a tool — not a life solution. Major life stressors can override even the most “successful” surgeries, revealing that physical interventions alone don’t resolve emotional regulation, identity, or coping patterns.
• Regain is not failure — it’s information. Weight regain often signals unaddressed emotional needs, stress overload, or skill gaps — not a lack of discipline or commitment.
• Two years of consistent therapy changed everything. Rather than jumping back into dieting or “fixing” food, Tosha invested in deep emotional and psychological work — a step most people avoid but desperately need.
• Willpower collapses under stress; skills sustain you. Lasting change comes from learning emotional regulation, boundary-setting, and alternative coping mechanisms — not from tighter rules.
• Mental and emotional capacity matters daily. Operating at 20% capacity but expecting 100% performance is a recipe for burnout and relapse. Self-assessment must come before self-expectation.
• Alcohol often replaces food when emotional hunger isn’t addressed. Removing food as a coping tool without addressing emotional needs can lead to substitute behaviors that feel just as destructive.
• Winning isn’t the number on the scale — it’s how you show up daily. Success becomes defined by self-respect, boundaries, emotional honesty, and choosing alignment over self-punishment.
Chapters
00:00:00 - From Fear to Surgery: Tasha’s Journey Begins
00:06:49 - From Macro Counting to Real Life Challenges
00:09:25 - Struggling with Weight Regain and Shame
00:13:49 - Learning to Prioritize Emotional Needs
00:16:06 - The Hidden Emotional Work After Weight Loss Surgery
00:18:14 - Weight Loss Surgery’s Hidden Emotional Toll
00:20:34 - Reserve Your Top Five Percent Daily
00:23:45 - High Performers Struggle with Asking for Help
00:28:40 - Weight Loss Surgery Doesn’t Fix Your Brain
00:35:30 - Choosing Zero Alcohol During Life Stress
00:38:01 - Quitting Alcohol for Better Sleep
00:40:39 - Learning New Skills in Sobriety
00:42:27 - Learning Lessons and Simplifying Your Business
00:49:32 - Managing Your Journey While Others Stay the Same
00:52:49 - Setting Boundaries with Food for Success
00:56:02 - Breaking Eating Habits and Finding Your Support
00:58:40 - Choosing Growth Over Victim Mentality
01:04:22 - Time is Your Most Valuable Resource
01:12:11 - Redefining Winning Beyond the Scale
01:15:33 - Winning is Anything That Makes You Smile
01:18:18 - From Survival to Growth Mindset
Extended Bio - Tosha Stafford
Tosha Stafford is a bariatric coach, mentor, and founder of Bari-Fit, best known for her work helping women navigate weight regain with structure, and real-life strategy.
After reaching her highest weight just over 300 pounds, Tosha underwent bariatric surgery in 2013. Like many, she experienced significant weight loss — followed by seasons of regain during major life transitions, stress, and medical complications in both 2017 and 2024.
Rather than giving up or chasing perfection, Tosha returned to the fundamentals: structure, mindset, and daily follow-through. Those tools didn’t just help her lose regain — they helped her rebuild confidence, stability, and self-trust.
Today, Tosha works exclusively with women who feel stuck, discouraged, or embarrassed after regain.
Her mission is simple:
* Help women stop believing they failed their surgery
* Restore structure without shame
* Rebuild confidence through daily wins
* And remind them that weight loss doesn’t define them — courage does
Tosha is a guide, not a judge. A coach, not a critic. And her philosophy is clear: we don’t chase perfection — we chase wins.
Website: www.barifit.comInstagram & Facebook: @theregaincoach
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