@Betches

ICYMI, it’s really f*cking hot outside. Naturally, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana chat about the weather and their ideal temperatures. Have they simply run out of things to discuss? Don’t you worry, they have plenty of even hotter topics to get into. JLo and Ben Affleck tied the knot in Vegas, and Aleen agrees their relationship is no longer a PR stunt. Then onto TV: The Bear, Persuasion, The Rehearsal, Severance. They reminisce on their college days when they held HBO Sundays in their dorm (of course Jimmy John’s was involved), and watched shows together. Now they’re all just logged into Sami’s Hulu account, which is basically the same thing. The ep wraps up with an examination of Kylie Jenner’s spending habits (Can Kylie keep us out of a recession with all her shopping?), before giving an update on the Armie Hammer Cayman Islands situation. Re: Robert Downey Jr. is now involved.

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Howdy, y’all. Jordana is tuning in from the v hot Austin, TX following a U Up? Live show, and recaps the trip with Sami and Aleen (a penis donut was involved). Things have also been heating up in the celeb world, and they unpack the big D—drama, obviously. Headline #1: Khloe Kardashian welcomes a second child via surrogate, with the unwelcomed Tristan Thompson as the father. They get into a heated debate—does it matter if your siblings have different parents? Across the reality show aisle, they debrief Jen Shah’s guilty plea before diving into the mystery that is Armie Hammer working as a timeshare salesman in the Cayman Islands. You can’t make this sh*t up. Then onto the Funny Girl drama (re: Beanie Feldstein and Lea Michele), before wrapping up with some Emmy nominations talk. Jordana presents the new @ Betches ending—who are you sending to Hollywood purgatory, AKA selling timeshares with Armie in the Cayman Islands?

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Aleen’s up first to debrief the holiday weekend, re: she didn’t actually do much. Jordana, however, did a plethora of classic July 4th activities—a baseball game, ice cream, and…Benihana? Sami then breaks down her holiday excursion, which included a large fight in a tiny cabin in the woods. The argument started off with cutting tomatoes, but as we know, it’s never just about the tomatoes. Then onto pop culture, which like Aleen’s weekend, was pretty slow. Rihanna is now the youngest self-made billionaire, and they debunk the self-made scale. How TF is Kylie Jenner so high on the list? Then onto Cameron Diaz’s un-retirement (didn’t even know she retired TBH), Lindsay Lohan’s comeback and recent marriage, and a discussion of the very Derelicte-esque Balenciaga show. And don’t forget, U Up? Live is still on tour. They’re headed to Austin, Chicago, and New York—get your tix at betches.co/uuplive.

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Have you watched anything good lately? Well Jordana, Aleen, and Sami have, and fill you in on all their latest TV and movie finds. And yes, Everything, Everywhere, All At Once is discussed. Then onto everything, everywhere celeb drama. First up is Chris Pratt’s latest Men’s Health interview, and they unpack all the tea—re: Hillsong church accusations, comments about his son, and his place among the many Hollywood Chrises. Then, they couldn’t not debrief North West’s extravagant camp bday party, but are surprised by the lack of Kim K’s posts about it. Did Kim go to Staten Island once and finally become grounded? The show wraps up with a RHOBH recap, as Jordana, Aleen, and Sami discuss Diana’s callous comments about the CA wildfires—yikes Diana, yikes—and a new Betches airline is born.

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Tuning in live from sunny CA, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are out west for the U Up? show in LA. They debrief the live event (surprise—they had a great time), and chat about dating today. Is it possible to meet someone in person anymore? Speaking of meeting people in person, they go through the roster of stars they’ve seen in LA. No Pete Davidson, but they drop some other big names. On the same thread of big names, they break down the latest celeb drama. Brace yourself, there’s a lot to debrief: Julia Haart is becoming the Jewish Kris Jenner, Khloe Kardashian’s new beau is a finance bro, Kendall Jenner’s break up, Brad Pitt’s new GQ cover, and of course, a chat about the new Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Say all that 10x fast.

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Jordana starts today’s ep by debriefing the U Up? Live show in the cleaner, smaller New York—AKA Boston. Jordana, Aleen, and Sami are all going to the LA show next week, which will be the first time Aleen’s been to SoCal since her choker-wearing days. Obvi they can’t mention LA without a convo on the Kardashians, and how Kim K broke the Marilyn Monroe dress (yikes). They then talk about another LA star Justin Bieber, and his very scary facial paralysis. Next is a discussion of J.Lo’s new movie Halftime, before getting into the fat-shaming drama surrounding influencer Remi Bader. They wrap up with a chat about Britney Spears’ wedding (and her ex-BF wedding crasher), before debriefing how Erika Jayne can’t afford to pay $2 million in taxes. Have you seen her closet?

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Time has indeed passed, the clock continues to tick—AKA Jordana, Aleen, and Sami don’t have a ton of updates from the last time we all chatted. So, onto pop culture we go. Sami starts off by debriefing Julia Haart’s new book (re: the My Unorthodox Life star), and there’s a lot to discuss. No, it’s not PG, and Aleen even spits out her coffee after hearing one of the sex stories—you’ll def want to tune in. Back to PG programming, they segue onto celeb kids and discuss celeb parenting styles—think Prince Louis at the Platinum Jubilee and Pete Davidson taking Saint West on an outing sans Kim K. They wrap up by asking the big q we all wanna know: did Kylie Jenner name her baby yet?

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You’ll never guess which celebs Sami met in Italy. Now that you’re v curious, tune in to hear Sami share all the detes with Jordana and Aleen about her Italian adventure (including overhearing a couple’s argument—everyone loves an eavesdrop moment). And speaking of celebs and…um…arguments, Sami, Jordana, and Aleen go over the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial verdict. A lot to break down. Then a quick chat about the new Top Gun movie, Tom Cruise, and naturally, Scientology, before sharing some unpopular opinions about Harry Styles’ music. They wrap up by talking about TV shows and movies, and yes, Aleen is rewatching Succession. Give her a new show to watch in a 5 star review and comment.

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This week in the life of Betches: Aleen had her first house pool party (a saxophone was indeed brought out), Jordana’s getting a massage, and Sami’s actually in Italy right now with her mom (jealous). Of course, you can’t bring up Italy without diving into the spectacle that was Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s wedding. Jordana and Aleen discuss all the detes, before having a quick chat about sister Khloe and Tristan Thompson. Should Khloe keep defending him? They wrap up the ep with some TV talk, including The Staircase (you have to watch) and Candy (another must-watch). Let them know your fav show in a 5 star review.

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On this special bonus episode of the @Betches podcast, Jordana, Sami, and Aleen join moderator Ann Shoket (author and former editor-in-chief of Seventeen Magazine) live on stage from the WHH Empower Hour, presented by Heineken 0.0. They start with a conversation about the new definition of “work-life balance” and why it has become such a moving target. Plus, they offer some negotiating tips related to Jordana’s favorite topic, dating. Is finding the right job (and setting expectations) the same as finding a romantic partner? Next, they play a game of “Connected or Rejected” all about red flags when you’re applying for a new job. Finally, they close out the show with some questions from the audience and a pair of stories about cover letter mistakes and the worst interview they’ve ever witnessed.

Thanks again to our presenting sponsor, Heineken 0.0! It’s 0.0% alcohol, and only 69 calories. Now you can. Must be 21+ to purchase. Please Enjoy Heineken Responsibly.

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