BigDeal

By Codie SanchezBusiness Entrepreneurship Investing Marketing

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58 min
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BigDeal episodes

January 14 Charisma Expert: 5 Ways To Project Confidence (Even When You Don’t Feel It) | Dr. Shadé Zahrai
My new book Own Or Be Owned is out now! I wrote Own or Be Owned to answer one question: How do you make more money, less miserably? I broke it into the 12 Profit Levers… The 12 levers I've seen determine whether you print cash or hate your life. Check it out:
→ https://contrarianthinking.biz/oobo_bigdeal

Most people think self-doubt is the enemy. Dr. Shadé Zahrai knows better — it's actually a signal. After spending years researching the neuroscience of confidence and studying thousands of high performers, this Harvard-trained leadership expert has cracked the code on why self-doubt never fully disappears and what top performers do differently when it shows up.

In this raw conversation, Dr. Shadé breaks down the exact four drivers of self-doubt that hold people back, why waiting to feel confident is the wrong goal completely (confidence comes after action, not before), how expectation bias creates the reality you experience, and why the opposite of self-doubt isn't confidence at all — it's self-trust.

But this isn't theory — it's applied neuroscience. We get into the five elements that increase your perceived confidence (posture, eye contact, gestures, vocal tone, and walking speed), why smiling doesn't equal weakness, how to use the CUT method to handle manipulators, and why writing things down by hand increases recall by activating different parts of your brain. If you've ever felt like self-doubt is holding you back, or if you're tired of waiting to feel ready before you take action, this episode will rewire how you think about confidence, competence, and what it actually takes to trust yourself.

Check out Dr. Shadé Zahrai’s new book Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, Fuel Success — out January 20th. Pre-order now: https://www.shadezahrai.com/bigtrust

Download Dr. Shadé’s free Morning Clarity Reset tool: https://bit.ly/morningclarityritual

Keep up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai
Website: https://www.shadezahrai.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahrai
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai/
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@Dr.ShadeZahrai
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shadezahrai

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:28 The Scar Study: How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality
00:03:43 The Four Drivers of Self-Doubt
00:08:18 You Are Not Your Doubts: The Ping-Pong Ball Analogy
00:11:20 Affective Labeling: Name Your Emotions to Tame Them
00:14:21 The Opposite of Self-Doubt is Not Confidence, It's Self-Trust
00:16:57 Manifestation Done Right: The Michael Phelps Pre-Mortem Strategy
00:23:41 The Five Elements of Charisma: Posture, Gestures, Eyes, Voice, and Walk
00:43:52 How to Win Any Room: The Five-to-One Question Rule
00:47:42 The CUT Method: How to Handle Manipulative Behavior
01:01:15 Imposter Syndrome and the Citibank Napkin Story
01:07:18 The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
01:22:51 Morning Clarity Reset: The One Daily Ritual That Changes Everything

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 28 min
January 07 How To DESTROY Negative Thoughts (And Rewire Your Brain) | Tony Robbins
My new book, “Own Or Be Owned”, is all about building a business so good it doesn't need you. More profit, less pain. It's out NOW.
Grab it here!
https://contrarianthinking.biz/oobo_bigdeal - cs

Most people think mindset is everything. Tony Robbins knows better — it's what comes before mindset that determines whether you break through or break down. After 49 years coaching everyone from world leaders to suicidal strangers, the legendary peak performance strategist has cracked the code on why most people set goals they never keep, make decisions they never follow through on, and stay stuck in patterns they know are destroying their lives.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Tony breaks down the exact three-step formula for creating breakthroughs that actually last: state, story, and strategy — in that order. We dive into why your emotional state controls everything you perceive, how the stories you tell yourself become the limitations you live by, and why even the best strategy in the world won't work if you're in the wrong state when you try to execute it. Tony reveals why fasting is easier than dieting (absolutes beat negotiation every time), how a general made a 10-year Pentagon decision in 40 minutes, and why most people confuse deciding with committing when real transformation requires resolve.

But this isn't theory — it's applied psychology from the trenches. Tony walks through his actual intervention process, why he asks 167 questions before making one statement, how he reads people's top two human needs in minutes, and why sometimes you have to offend someone to actually help them. We get into why positive thinking is bullshit without capability, how a $78,000 betrayal became his greatest teacher, and why the law of attraction is real but dangerously incomplete. If you've ever set a New Year's resolution and abandoned it by February, or if you're tired of knowing what to do but not doing it, this episode will rewire how you think about change, discipline, and what it actually takes to destroy the negative thoughts holding you back.

Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie

Tony's hosting his final Time to Rise Summit — three days, completely free, January 29-31. Over a million people from 193 countries have transformed their lives through this event. Sign up at https://www.timetorisesummit.com

___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:01 The Three S's to Breakthrough: State, Story, and Strategy
00:05:22 Why Your Story Controls Your Life More Than Anything Else
00:12:02 Decision, Commitment, and Resolve: The Three-Part Process
00:25:55 The Law of Attraction is Real But Not Enough
00:30:46 Why You Can't Please Everyone and Still Have Impact
00:35:21 The Oprah Story: When Support Becomes Enabling
00:43:51 The Six Human Needs and How They Drive Everything
00:46:00 Partnership Mistakes and the Three Questions for Evaluating Anyone
00:54:20 How Tony Prepares for Events: Obsessive Preparation Meets Improvisation
00:56:11 Time to Rise Summit: The Free Event Born from COVID

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 4 min
December 31, 2025 How To Build Self-Discipline (5 Step Routine) | Ryan Holiday
Most people think discipline is about willpower. Ryan Holiday knows better — it's about habit. After writing multiple bestselling books on Stoicism and spending decades studying history's highest performers, the author of The Obstacle Is The Way and Ego Is The Enemy has cracked the code on why the world's hardest workers aren't just talented or lucky. They've built systems that make discipline inevitable.
In this raw conversation, Ryan breaks down the exact frameworks used by Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus to stay calm under fire, make sharper decisions under pressure, and most importantly — get things done. We dive into why discipline isn't something you are but something you do, how the Stoics battled procrastination (Seneca said all fools are always getting ready to start), and why negative visualization beats positive manifestation every time. Ryan reveals his actual research process (analog note cards, not AI shortcuts), why he reads the same books over and over, and how to inoculate yourself against audience capture when everyone's telling you what to create.
But this isn't theory — it's applied philosophy. We get into why waking up early is useless if you stay up till 2 AM, how to make hard things black and white so you can't rationalize exceptions, and why your calendar should have large blocks of white space, not meetings. Ryan walks through his panic rules from coaching the LA Rams, why ego destroys more empires than external obstacles, and how he went from running publicity stunts and media manipulation campaigns to building one of the most disciplined creative practices in the world. If you've ever felt like discipline is this vague thing you either have or don't, or if you're tired of procrastinating on the life you know you should be building, this episode will change how you think about work, focus, and what it actually takes to win.
Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie
___________
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:06 Panic Rules: What To Do When Everything Falls Apart
00:03:05 Discipline Now, Freedom Later: The Labor Will Pass
00:07:37 The Simplest Daily Habit to Build Discipline
00:11:59 Large Uninterrupted Blocks of Time: The Secret to Success
00:16:09 Procrastination is Arrogant: It Assumes You Have Forever
00:22:39 Enjoying the Journey: Why the Work Matters More Than the Reward
00:28:22 Negative Visualization: Why the Stoics Planned for the Worst
00:33:10 The Note Card System: How Ryan Remembers Everything
00:34:52 You Must Love Learning If You Would Possess It
00:43:14 Know Thyself: The Oracle of Delphi's Most Important Command
00:46:05 Ego is the Enemy: How It Destroys Success
00:53:16 The Power to Have No Opinion
01:00:06 Haters, Criticism, and the Statistical Certainty of Dislike
01:18:04 Audience Capture: When Your Audience Has You
01:09:04 From Marketing Manipulator to Stoic Philosopher
01:15:17 The Corner Office Phenomenon: Looking Down the Hall
01:17:01 Are Humans Contagious? Culture, Values, and Becoming Who You Spend Time With
01:06:44 Should We All Get a Donkey? Life Lessons from the Ranch
01:21:15 Final Reflections: The Path That's Yours Alone
___________
MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod
MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez
OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 25 min
December 30, 2025 How To Set Goals For 2026 That You’ll Actually Follow Through On
Most people think goal setting is about writing down what you want. It's not. It's about creating gravitational pull so strong that your entire life reorganizes around what you're building. After 15 years of setting and hitting impossible goals — from building multiple businesses to launching a top podcast to selling a million books — I've cracked the code on why most people fail and the few who win do it differently.
In this episode, I break down my exact five-step process for setting goals you'll actually follow through on in 2026. You'll learn the regret minimization framework from Jeff Bezos, why Elon Musk uses first principles and backwards timelines, how Warren Buffett's 5/25 rule forces ruthless focus, and why Sam Walton obsessed over daily numeric targets instead of quarterly objectives. I reveal why exploitation keeps you efficient but exploration creates breakthroughs, how to use goal gravity to pull everything towards your target, and why your year needs a name before it can have a plan.
But this isn't theory — it's my actual goal journal from the last 15 years. I show you my relationship goals, work targets, travel plans, and even the silly stuff like feeling more feminine and cutting out bread (spoiler: didn't nail that one). You'll see my "more of/less of" list, why I track daily streaks, and how I turned 2024 into my "full send" year and 2025 into my "year of flow." If you're tired of setting the same goals every January and abandoning them by February, or if you want to finally build a life most people only dream about, this episode will change how you think about goal setting forever. It takes 21 days to create a habit, but 90 days to create a totally different lifestyle. Start your timer. This is day one.
Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://www.nextinsurance.com/codie
___________
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:12 Goal Gravity: Why Small Goals Kill Your Future
00:02:13 Exploitation vs Exploration: The Fork in the Road
00:03:44 The Regret Minimization Framework from Bezos
00:04:40 Name Your Year: The Power of Framing
00:06:26 First Principles and Backwards Timelines: The Elon Musk Method
00:09:21 The Four Goal Categories: Relationship, Work, Travel, and Fun
00:11:37 The Say No List and Warren Buffett's 5/25 Rule
00:13:17 More Of, Less Of: The Anti-Goal Method
00:14:59 Daily Scoreboard: Sam Walton's Obsessively Measurable Goals
00:16:54 The Five Patterns of World-Class Goal Setters
___________
MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod
MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20 min
December 22, 2025 Stop Rambling: The 3-2-1 Speaking Trick That Makes You Sound Like A CEO
Most people think communication is about what you say. It’s not. It’s about what happens in the listener’s brain before you finish your sentence. This episode breaks down the neuroscience of communication and why charisma is overrated. Real influence comes from how the brain processes sound, novelty, and behavior in real time.

You’ll learn the communication frameworks used by top performers, executives, and elite negotiators including vocal entrainment, micro-behavior mirroring, attention psychology, dopamine triggers, storytelling science, and credibility language patterns. We cover how to speak in short, high-impact bursts, use questions to increase engagement, and control silence in high-stakes conversations.

These are practical tools pulled from boardrooms, negotiations, and live debates. If you want to communicate with confidence, influence faster, and be taken seriously in business, leadership, sales, and negotiations, this episode will change how you speak. Communication isn’t a soft skill. It’s applied neuroscience.

Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://www.nextinsurance.com/codie

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:00:38 The Neuro-Echo Effect: People Mirror Your Energy in 200 Milliseconds
00:02:46 The Brain Is Addicted to Novelty, Not Logic
00:03:45 Clarity Over Complexity: The Simplicity Anchor
00:04:44 Questions Increase Dopamine: The Curiosity Loop
00:06:53 Your Voice Controls Other People's Heart Rates
00:07:56 Rhythmic Language Sounds More True
00:09:49 The 3-to-1 Trick for Difficult Conversations
00:12:06 Speak in Sprints, Not Streams
00:14:19 Gesture Before You Speak: Gesture Priming
00:16:13 Stories Stick 22 Times More Than Facts
00:19:15 Replace 'I Think' with 'I've Observed'
00:20:29 The Cognitive Snap: Using Names and Details
00:21:43 Open Your Rib Cage: Postural Neuroendocrinology
00:23:01 Taking Turns Builds Trust Faster Than Agreement
00:24:45 End with the Cognitive Close, Not a Question

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our

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28 min
December 17, 2025 Ciara: How To Manifest Anything (And Win At Life)
Most people know Ciara as a Grammy winning superstar with 23 million albums sold and hits like “Goodies” and “Level Up.” What they don’t know is how a military kid with no connections built one of the most durable careers in entertainment and is now quietly building a business empire across rum and kids fashion.

In this conversation, Ciara walks through the three goals she wrote down at 13 that led to a record deal at 16, millions of albums sold by 19, and a 21 year career that’s still evolving. She talks about why it’s necessary to stay “a little delulu”, how manifestation actually works, and how a good whiteboard session can turn an idea into a real-world business. We get into why being the only woman in rum is fuel not fear, how her apparel company 3Brand crossed $100M, and why culture and quality beat hype every time.

This episode isn’t about overnight wins. It’s about confidence built slowly, emotions kept out of decisions, and learning to run your race without burning out trying to win someone else’s.

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT

___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:25 The Power of Pre-Performance Rituals
00:04:03 Embracing Failure and the Amnesia Method
00:06:21 Being Delulu: Walking Into Rooms Fearlessly
00:09:18 Speaking Life Into Your Kids
00:10:27 The Army Kid Who Wrote Her Game Plan at 13
00:16:34 Manifestation: Writing It Down and Speaking It Out Loud
00:22:03 Faith as Your Shield in Dark Moments
00:25:56 Running Your Own Race: Don't Glorify Man
00:28:29 The Greater the Great, The More They Hate
00:30:19 Whiteboard Sessions with Your Partner
00:45:07 Building a 100 Million Dollar Brand: 3Brand Story
00:37:34 Ten To One Rum: Reimagining a Spirit Category
00:47:42 Quality Over Everything: The Business Superpower
00:50:48 Trust Your Gut: Knowing Who Not to Trust on Day One
00:58:34 Following Your Curiosity Down the Rabbit Hole
01:11:14 Beauty Marks and Attainment: Scars Are Your Story

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 15 min
December 15, 2025 To Win You Must Suffer.
Most people think success comes from talent, timing, or luck. The brutal truth? It comes from suffering. After building multiple seven and eight-figure businesses and investing in hundreds of companies, I've learned the one thing nobody wants to tell you: to win, you must be willing to endure more pain than everyone else. This isn't about motivation or manifestation — it's about the cold, hard reality of what it actually takes to build the life you want in 2025 and beyond.

In this raw, unfiltered episode, I break down the four brutal truths that will either make or break your success: why four-hour work weeks are a myth (the data shows 85-90% of businesses require daily founder involvement), why everyone is trying harder than you think they are (and hiding it), why there's more competition than you want to admit (305 million startups launched globally last year alone), and why most people will never communicate honestly. I reveal the six types of people you'll face as a leader — from the reactive responder to the strategic warrior — and why only one of them actually wins. You'll learn about effort concealment, survivorship bias, and why 80% of people think they're above average (spoiler: they're not).

But this isn't just about what's broken — it's about what actually works. I expose why the passive income dream applies to less than 1% of the population, why 95% of Shopify stores never make a single sale, and why comparing your reality to someone else's highlight reel is killing your progress. If you've ever felt like you're behind, or wondered why success seems easier for everyone else, or if you're ready to stop believing the lies and start doing the hard work that actually matters, this episode will change how you think about winning forever.

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:00:54 To Win You Must Suffer
00:01:36 The Six Types of People You'll Face as a Leader
00:04:25 Becoming the Strategic Leader
00:06:32 Everybody Is Trying Harder Than You Think
00:08:12 The Highlight Reel Deception
00:10:30 More Competition Than You Want to Admit
00:13:09 The Startup Gold Rush: The Math Behind Competition
00:14:18 Four Hour Work Weeks Do Not Work
00:16:21 The Contrarian Boardroom Solution
00:17:28 Stop Comparing Your Worst to Others' Best

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21 min
December 10, 2025 Sales Expert: 3 Ways To Get A YES Every Time | Ryan Serhant
Most people think sales is about talking. Ryan Serhant knows better — it's about translating. After closing over $20 billion in real estate deals and building one of the fastest-growing brokerages in America, the star of Netflix's Owning Manhattan has cracked the code on how to get anyone to say yes. From selling homes to billionaires to building a media empire on the back of reality TV, Ryan reveals the brutal truth about what it actually takes to win at the highest level.

In this raw conversation, Ryan breaks down the orchid trick (he's sent 2,000 of them), why silence is violence in negotiations, and how a fake Rolex changed his entire life. We dive into why wealthy people don't pay for information or access, but instead pay for confidence; how to get a stranger to trust you with real money; and why the best negotiators throw the first punch. But this isn't just about closing deals — it's about building an empire. Ryan reveals how he's stacking businesses under one holding company (brokerage, media, education, and AI), why his LTV to CAC ratio is 6x while the industry averages 1x, and how he's building real estate brokerage 3.0 with no physical offices.

If you've ever wondered how to sell to the ultra-wealthy without sucking up, how to build unshakeable confidence when you're broke, or why setbacks are just speed bumps and not brick walls, this episode will change how you think about sales, negotiation, and what it takes to become the best in the world at what you do.

Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:22 The Fake Rolex That Changed Everything
00:04:35 From Soap Opera Star to Real Estate Mogul
00:06:36 Speed Bumps vs Brick Walls: Handling Setbacks
00:09:26 Building in Public: The Netflix Experiment
00:16:29 Gray Hair Don't Care: Dealing with Haters
00:18:24 The Orchid Trick: Turning Rejection into Power
00:21:06 Selling to Billionaires: The Two C's and the Pull Strategy
00:25:27 Confidence is Currency: What Rich People Really Pay For
00:34:11 The Thousand Minute Rule: Time as Money
00:31:38 Hiring A-Players: Intelligence Over Experience
00:39:32 Leader vs Manager: Standing at the Front Lines
00:41:11 Building Identity and Future Memoir Exercise
00:42:54 The Four Business Flywheel Strategy
00:52:07 Negotiation Mastery: Translate Don't Talk
00:54:36 Owning Manhattan Season 2 and the Evolution of Reality TV

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez
📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk
🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

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59 min
December 04, 2025 The Confidence Expert: How To Build UNSHAKEABLE Self Confidence | Mark Manson
Most people think confidence is about believing you'll succeed. Mark Manson knows better — it's about being comfortable with failure. After writing one of the best-selling nonfiction books of all time and spending nearly two decades studying human psychology, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck has cracked the code on why Gen Z is struggling with relationships, why therapy culture might be making us worse, and why your emotions are a system that needs managing just like your business.

In this raw conversation, Mark breaks down the alarming statistics behind today's confidence crisis, why dating apps are optimizing for all the wrong things, and how adopting labels as identity actually amplifies your problems. We dive deep into the hidden costs of success, why the happiest country in the world has low expectations, and the brutal truth about why 20-25% of Gen Z has cut off at least one parent. He reveals why AI therapy is both promising and dangerous, the single question that exposes red flags on first dates, and why marrying well is the highest leverage decision of your entire life.

But this isn't just about what's broken — it's about what actually works. Mark explains why failure is the only currency that matters, how to stop being a people pleaser without being a dick, and why your bank account reflects the difficult conversations you're willing to have. If you've ever felt like you're chasing happiness instead of meaning, or if you want to build real confidence that comes from action instead of affirmation, this episode will change how you think about success, relationships, and the problems you're willing to have in your life.

Thanks to GoDaddy for sponsoring this video! Head to ⁠https://godaddy.com/codiesanchez⁠ to get started with GoDaddy Airo® today

I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
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00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:16 The Paradox of Being Likable
00:05:19 The Dating App Crisis and Modern Relationships
00:07:45 What Real Success Actually Means
00:09:16 The Happiest Country: Low Expectations in Finland
00:11:28 Social Skills: The 80/20 of Happiness
00:13:21 Confidence is Comfort with Failure
00:15:14 Building Failure Muscle: From Small to Big
00:24:07 The Post-Exit Existential Crisis
00:27:33 Stop Labeling Yourself: Identity and Mental Health
00:45:07 Emotions as a System to Manage
00:48:37 The Why Game: Peeling Back the Onion
00:49:45 Therapy Culture and Cutting Off Family
00:53:48 ChatGPT as Therapist: The Malignant Narcissist Problem
00:56:27 Building Purpose: AI That Challenges You
01:02:40 AI Limitations: Brilliant Idiots
01:06:21 Choosing a Life Partner: More Than Romance
01:09:37 The Best First Date Question
01:11:18 Everything Comes with Bullshit
01:12:17 What Pain Do You Want?

___________

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1 hr 18 min
November 26, 2025 Divorce Lawyer: Why 53% of Marriages Fail | James Sexton
After handling 2,000+ divorces over 25 years, the legendary divorce attorney James Sexton has seen it all: the affairs that start with attention instead of sex, the gestures that can end marriages, and the brutal truth that 53% of marriages end in divorce. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, James breaks down why half of all marriages fail and what the other half is doing right.

From the real reason people cheat, to why Instagram is an infidelity-generating machine, James reveals the patterns that predict divorce with scary accuracy. We dive into the economics of relationships, why prenups are actually love letters, and how a dog can teach you more about marriage than any therapist. He shares the craziest prenup he's ever seen (10 pounds = $10,000 less in alimony), why "happy wife, happy life" is terrible advice, and the one question that softens even the most bitter couples.

But this isn't just about what goes wrong — it's about what goes right. James explains why second marriages have better odds, how to fight fairly without weaponizing intimacy, and why the male equivalent of flowers might be exactly what you think it is. If you've ever wondered why some couples make it while others crash and burn, or if you want to save your relationship before it ends up in a lawyer's office, this episode will change how you think about love, commitment, and the bravest thing any human can do.

Thanks to GoDaddy for sponsoring this video! Head to https://godaddy.com/codiesanchez to get started with GoDaddy Airo® today.

Building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT
___________

00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:51 Is Marriage Still Worth It? The Lottery Analogy
00:04:48 The 86% Remarriage Rate and Second Marriage Energy
00:05:53 Red Flags: How to Spot a Marriage Heading for Divorce
00:07:55 The Throw Pillow Test: Small Gestures That Say I Love You
00:12:50 The Weaponization of Intimacy: Why You Can't Take It Back
00:15:31 Dogs, Love, and the Bravery of Accepting Loss
00:18:48 Why James Isn't Jaded: Staying Romantic After 2,000 Divorces
00:23:42 People Stop Doing the Things That Kept Love Alive
00:24:41 The Two Biggest Problems: Not Knowing What You Want and Can't Express It
00:30:50 The Shaving Story: Positive Reinforcement vs. Criticism
00:33:28 Flowers and Nudes: Understanding What Your Partner Actually Wants
00:39:20 How Affairs Really Start: It's Never About the Sex
00:41:10 Instagram: The Infidelity Generating Machine
00:52:20 Prenups: Everyone Has One, Either Yours or the Government's
00:58:28 The Craziest Prenup: Ten Pounds Equals Ten Thousand Dollars
00:57:21 Democratizing Prenups: Making Marriage Contracts Accessible
01:03:54 Premarital Education: The Barrier to Entry Marriage Needs
01:23:35 Everyone's Sleeping With the Nanny: The Real Reason Why
01:10:34 The Weapon Analogy: Being a Divorce Lawyer and Believing in Justice
01:17:01 Poetry, Beauty, and Crying at Your Son's Wedding
01:19:36 Final Thoughts: Who Should Read This Book and Why

___________

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🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct
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OTHER THINGS WE DO
🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID
📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp
📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN
🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/
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1 hr 30 min

About BigDeal

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You can change your life and make a dent on the world. This podcast uncovers the unfiltered lessons from the smartest minds straight to you, in conversations so honest you feel guilty listening in. We…