Binge Eating Breakthrough

I've noticed a common theme with a few of my clients recently, and I have also seen this in myself, so I thought it would be a great topic to talk about on the podcast. 

Do you ever look at other people and wonder how they are able to do what they do? 

Do you compare what you are able to do to what someone else is able to do? 

Do you look at how someone reacts to something and wonder how they can have such a different reaction than you do? 

In this episode, I help you think about these questions differently than you might have previously. 

It’s possible that you are a highly sensitive person. Tune in to discover what that means and how to know if you are. 

A few takeaways:

• You aren't meant to be like other people. You are meant to be you. 
• You were uniquely wired; the key isn't figuring out how to be like somebody else. The key is figuring out how to work with the way you were uniquely wired and how to best care for yourself.
• Learn to say no to the things you don't want to do. Set up a healthy perimeter. 

Learn to work with yourself; you will feel more aligned and at ease. 

Comparison is not helpful. Trust your body. What may change if you embrace your sensitivity? 

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Today's episode builds upon the topic of what you consider success when thinking about the journey with food and your body. We are discussing the scale and answering the question - should I weigh myself?

I hear two primary reasons for people wanting to weigh themselves:

1. To keep in check
2. To see if it's working

In this episode, we look at each reason in greater detail. I also share some of the thoughts that are common to have when the number has gone up. These thoughts also lead to shame, guilt, frustration, and more. 

I used to be a person who weighed myself, but only when I wanted to see the number and thought it might be going down. When I look back on it, I was dieting, even though, at the time, I would have assured you that I just liked and preferred healthy food.

As I got further in my healing journey and learned about the genuine mind-body connection, I realized that using the scale was taking me away from the ability to trust my body. 

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

In the last episode, I talked about whether or not it is a good idea to track your binge-free days. I talk about what some people see as success. If you haven’t listened yet, I invite you to check it out if this is something that you currently do or think might be helpful.

In today’s podcast I discuss how so many people look back on a previous diet or a previous time in their life where they were making different choices around food and they think that it worked before, so they should just be able to go back to those same choices and have the same "success" they experienced in the past. In this episode, we will go deeper on what “success” means and why you think it might have worked before.

How do you define success? 

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

You may be wondering, "should I track how long it has been since my last binge?" Some people may think it's helpful to watch how many days they are abstinent from binging. I used to track my binge-free days with an app where I tracked statistics, all in some hope that by paying really close attention to everything then I could finally get myself under control and stop binging. I am not going to tell you what you should do, because everyone is different. What worked for me, may not work for you. Today, I invite you to go deeper and show you how to check in with yourself to uncover how tracking your binge-free days may or may not be helpful for you.

Here are some key points from this episode:

It is most important to become super aware of what you make it mean when you binge. If you have tracked your binge-free days in the past, what happens when you do have a binge? 

You can change your thoughts about binging. When you change what your thoughts are about binging after a binge-free period, you are more likely to get curious, to figure out what happened, to make a plan for the next time, to try new things, and to keep getting up as many times as it takes. 

Know your reason and like your reason when you decide whether or not you will track your binge-free days.  If you don't like your reason - I invite you to get curious about it. If you could look at it without judgment, would you want to re-evaluate or consider other alternatives? And if the answer is no - that's great too. You always and forever have the right and the agency to make any decisions you want. Just make sure that you are choosing them for you. Not because anyone else told you, but because you want to and you like your reasons.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Many people ask, is it possible to stop binge eating permanently? There are often two extreme views. Some think binge eating is a life sentence that is something that you will have to manage and deal with for the rest of your life. Others think that it is absolutely possible to stop permanently and share stories of the immediate transformation of never bingeing again. As you know from other episodes, I am a fan of moving out of extremes and more toward the middle. Bingeing is not just about the food…it goes much deeper. In today's episode, I help lift the veil, uncover how I help my clients look under their hood, and explore what's happening.

It's important to look at the root problem to create permanent change. What is causing the symptoms in the first place? 

 Binge eating is like the warning light that comes on and tells you something is wrong under the hood. When you binge, it's important to look under your "hood" to see what is going on. 

I believe that it is possible to stop binge eating permanently. I also think it is impossible to stop permanently using certain approaches. There is a reason that so many people experience brief periods of what they consider "success", only to start bingeing again. 

I see ending binge eating as unwinding. It's a process that takes time. No button gets flipped, and there are no more thoughts, desires, or cravings for food. It is genuinely a rewiring of the brain, creating new neural pathways. 

Here are some key points from this episode:

• To stop binge eating, you must understand it. You are not broken. Bingeing is not a problem to be fixed or solved. Bingeing is a symptom. An indicator that something else is going on. If you can remove the shame and judgment and understand what is going on underneath the hood to make the binge light come on, we can work on the root cause.

• Instead of thinking I am broken, I am out of control, I am a binger; begin to think I am connected to my body's wisdom, I am stronger than I think, I am my biggest advocate, I am a calm and peaceful eater.

• As you expand your ability to be with any emotion, that will expand your ability to be with that desire to eat and let it pass on its own. Then you can figure out what it had to tell you. As you work with your nervous system, your body feels safer and less likely to need to escape into the patterns it has known before. You will have more connection to your body and access to the logical part of your brain that can help you make those choices at the moment.

If you want to understand WHY you feel out of control around food sometimes, take this short 7 question quiz to discover your #1 reason, including 3 steps you can take today to begin to change.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

In honor of Valentine's Day, my husband Todd joins me for a candid discussion about what it has been like for him on the other side of my binge eating journey. This is an unscripted conversation, and I trust you will find insights and nuggets that benefit you.

In this candid conversation, we discussed the initial time I told him about my binging (after we were married), the journey we've been on over the years, and how it has unfolded. Todd has been instrumental in my journey and the healing process. He shares his perspective and advice to anyone else who may be in the same situation.

This is a must-listen if you have a loved one you haven't told about binge eating or you’re wondering how to help someone with binge eating. Learn what is helpful and what pitfalls to avoid. Discover how a compassionate ear can change everything, even if they don't understand.

Here are some key takeaways from this episode:

• The conversation is not easy, but it is worth it.
• The healing journey has grown our emotional capacity as a couple.
• Having support is crucial to unwind binge eating. You cannot do it alone. We need a compassionate witness by our side.

If you think you might be ready to talk with your loved ones about your secret eating, you can share this episode with them or check out replays of my How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About Your Secret Eating Masterclass for some key questions to consider for yourself and a step-by-step guide of what to say and how to share what is going on with you.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

If you are in a binge cycle with food, I want you to consider whether fear is a part of it and whether you can see yourself in the examples I share.

There are two extreme behaviors to explore. On the one hand, you have people who try to be very rigid with their food, thinking they need to control everything - this fear is that they will gain weight if they don't.

On the other hand, you have people who have been through the diets and have failed the binge cycle enough to know that, for the most part, diets fail and often lead to a binge. These people who stop bingeing are so committed to the anti-diet approach that they shun any structure or rigidity altogether.

This second approach often results in significant weight gain and decreased mental or physical energy.

Most of us benefit from a structure in some ways. In some cases, some people benefit from a lot of structure. The problem, in my opinion, with some of the anti-diet movement is that it becomes a rebellion against any structure.

The problem is not structure or limits regarding food; it's the emotion or feeling behind them. Creating a structure because you think you can't control yourself without it is a form of fear.

I think it's problematic when people shun any structure around eating, which negatively impacts the person's overall physical and emotional health.

I believe that most people who gain a lot of weight are still missing the skill of connecting with their bodies and using food to disconnect.

Is there a fear that is keeping you from having more flexibility or more structure in your eating?

Identify what that fear is.

If you are listening to this podcast, chances are you would like to be happier with your eating behaviors around food. Is it possible that the thing you fear might lead you to binge is keeping you in a disordered pattern with it?

Many binge eaters live in the extreme—all or nothing. I invite you to get curious about what it might look like for you to live in the space in between. Is it possible that things could be different? What might that look like for you?

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

During my journey with binge eating, I googled "what to do after a binge?" so many times. I felt like a failure and felt so much shame and judgment. 

If you are listening to this podcast and this resonates with you, I assure you that you are not alone. Nothing is wrong with you, and the sooner you can put these steps into action, the more you will be able to learn from the experience.

The moments immediately following a binge are critical. What you do next will create pathways in your brain for the future.

Save this episode for the future so you can refer to it again if needed.

You may think that you don't want to binge and you don't want to focus on this part, but I'm here to tell you that it's so important. As you create new patterns after a binge, you will set yourself to develop new habits during and before. 

Think about the last time you binged. How did you feel? I share some of the most common feelings I experienced after a binge-eating episode. 

Next, think about what actions you took. What did you do when you were feeling this manner? Do you eat more and hide the evidence? Do you make a plan and try to distract yourself from the physical discomfort?  

Did all of this type of behavior help you stop? 

 Albert Einstein famously said: "We cannot solve problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." 

Bingeing is a behavior pattern that doesn't stop when you stop eating. 

Here are 5-key steps to implement after a binge: 

Step 1 - Decide you are done (close the loop)

Step 2 - Suspend the shame

Step 3 - Choose Curiosity & Compassion

Step 4 - Learn the Lesson

Step 5 - Put it into practice

I encourage you to work on adopting any of these five steps. You will notice a difference. If you adopt all FIVE, you will change your life. 

If you want a download of the 5-steps - janepilger.com/after

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

A question I often get "Can I stop binge eating by myself?" my answer - may not be what you want to hear - but "it depends."

People seek support to stop binge eating, but it does not always work. One of the main reasons is that the person is focusing on food vs. what is happening underneath. The unhealed trauma or the support given is not the right approach for the person.

There is no one size fits all approach or one answer that will work for everyone, but everyone would benefit from someone to help them see what they can't see themselves.

Your binge eating may not be a problem you created consciously - but your subconscious mind did. This means that once you start new awareness so the subconscious can begin to let go and re-establish new neural pathways, you will likely continue by yourself.

Here are some tools that will not work alone in getting you to stop binge eating. 

• reading a book 
• or listening to a podcast 
•  or focusing on the food

To stop binge eating, you must create new neural pathways by learning to become aware and understand yourself more deeply. 

Doing so will help you work with yourself instead of sabotaging your actions and constantly fighting with the part of you that binges. 

Ending binge eating for most people is not a matter of flipping a switch and simply declaring I will never binge again. At times attempting to stop binge eating leads to more binge eating and the reinforcement of old patterns you are trying to break. 

Having a supportive professional can help you determine if you are on a path that is likely to lead to more or less disorder in your eating. Having support can help prevent you from long-term physical or emotional injury.

If you are listening to this podcast, you are like me - you aren't willing to give up on stopping binge eating. You know that feeling out of control doesn't have to be a life sentence, and you are looking for answers, and you will keep doing so until you figure out what works for you.

Change is possible. Food freedom is possible. Trusting your body is possible. This takes extra support from a coach. I promise you - you are worth it. The results are worth it. Imagine what life might be like if you weren't constantly beating yourself up and consumed with thoughts about food all day and night. 

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

We made it to the end of the series on why you binge and how to stop. Here is a quick recap if you are tuning in. 

 In my years working with people on binge eating and body trust, I have noticed eight primary reasons why people binge. I covered those reasons in Episode 2 of the podcast.

Each reason has a corresponding solution, and I outlined the eight solutions in Episode 3.

Over the last seven episodes, we have been diving deep into each solution to stop binge eating. Each episode stands alone, but they all work powerfully together.

That brings us to today - the 8th and final solution. The #8 reason why people binge is your personal narrative. What does that mean? It's your internal dialogue. The way you speak to yourself inside your own head. 

Your internal dialogue is powerful. It's like the radio station that plays in your head, with certain songs on repeat.

Pay attention. Notice what radio station you are listening to. You have to become aware of it first. You can change your internal dialogue, which is essential to ending binge eating.

Then realize you get to choose which radio station you want.

Tune in to learn more about what this looks like and how to change the internal dialogue.

To recap this series, the 8 solutions to end binge eating are:

1. Understand why you started and why you haven't stopped yet
2. Remove restrictions
3. Learn how to work with your nervous system
4. Learn how to connect with your body
5. Expand your emotional capacity
6. Develop two-way trust with your body
7. Break the habit
8. Change the internal narrative

When you apply all of these solutions to your life, you will create an entirely new relationship with yourself and with food. If you want help with this, I'd love to be your guide.

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today.