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Most marriages that are successful can attribute that success to the level of intentionality they put into the marriage. In every aspect of marriage, intention is like the wheels that make the car move.
As the year came to a close Junior and I felt the strain our new commitments put on our relationship and decided quickly, to make the necessary changes to realign and make our relationship a priority.
So for 2024, we are learning from our missteps and failures to create a better future for our relationship through intention. So If you feel like your marriage is stagnant and having trouble growing in your relationship with your partner this episode is for you. In this episode, we will discuss how to design the marriage you want through intentionality.
Podcast Mentions
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
Z-Library: Digital Library
The holidays are a time for cheer and celebration but for couples, it can create tension. According to several polled therapists by the Huffington Post there a 6 main arguments that couples have during the holidays. In this episode, we are going to discuss those arguments and give you tips on how to navigate this holiday season while avoiding potential landmines in your marriage.
Podcast Mentions
Facebook Group: Join the Family!
Huffington Post Article: The 6 Most Common Arguments Couples Have Around The Holidays
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
Tips for Navigating the Holidays as a Couple
Communication of Expectations
Explore the perspective that there's no absolute right or wrong, often just a difference in viewpoints (drawing inspiration from Esther Perel).
Acknowledge that each person's family is unique and has its own dynamics.
Embrace Humility
Approach holiday gatherings with humility, recognizing that both partners bring their own backgrounds and traditions into the relationship.
Foster an open mindset to understand and appreciate each other's family dynamics.
Negotiate Priorities
Prioritize and negotiate what aspects of the holiday season are most important to each partner.
Example: Decide if traveling during Christmas is non-negotiable or if there's room for compromise.
Compromise Where Possible
Find common ground and compromise to create a holiday plan that suits both partners.
Recognize that flexibility is key, especially when blending different family traditions.
Express Discomforts
Communicate any discomforts to your partner, serving as a buffer in family interactions.
Example: Share concerns about personal boundaries, such as not wanting to be overly affectionate in certain family settings.
Create a Game Plan
Develop a game plan for holiday gatherings, including specifics like how long you'll stay and what's acceptable behavior around children.
Discuss potential challenges and agree on how to address them in the moment.
In-the-Moment Discussions
Address issues as they arise during holiday events.
Be a united front and step away together if necessary, ensuring that family dynamics don't strain your relationship.
Set Boundaries
Clearly define and communicate boundaries for family interactions.
Establish guidelines for how much time you spend with each family, especially if conflicts arise.
Stay United
Resist external pressures that may attempt to pull you and your partner apart.
Reaffirm your commitment to each other during the holiday season.
Reflect and Adjust
After the holidays, reflect on what worked well and what could be improved.
Use this information to adjust your approach in future holiday seasons for even smoother experiences.
Whether you're a man seeking personal growth or a partner invested in the success of your relationship, this episode is a must-listen.
Therapy, for a lot of us in the black community, can be taboo. Often times speaking to a stranger about our problems and our relationships can be an intimidating journey filled with uncertainty, vulnerability, and self-discovery. But today, we're here to help peel back some of the layers on the idea of therapy for your relationship and peek into what it's really all about. We also will be getting advice on 5 things that are essential for a healthy marriage from an expert with several years of experience counseling couples. Our guest today is Deborah Richelieu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a passion for guiding individuals, couples, and families toward brighter, more harmonious futures. So, if you've ever wondered about the transformative power of therapy, if you've hesitated to take that first step, or if you're just curious about the lessons a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist has to offer, you're in the right place.
Podcast Mentions
John Gottman: Research
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Article
Connect with Deborah Richelieu, LMFT:
Instagram: @richlydeb
She’s Taking Clients: 15 min Free Consultation
Youtube Channel: The Rich Couch
Therapy Resources
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
In our relationships, there are times when we need to sit down and talk about tough stuff. But, sometimes, we avoid these conversations because we don't know how to start them, we're scared of how the other person will react, or we hope the problem will just disappear. Sometimes, we're even unsure about our own feelings and how to explain them. We want to show you how to handle these difficult conversations. In this episode, we'll share our experiences, both the good and bad, when it comes to tough talks. We'll give you the tools you need and a step-by-step guide on how to have these hard conversations in your own relationships.
How to Have Hard Conversations:
Pre- Conversation
Self-awareness: Overcome fear of rejection, conflict, and vulnerability.
Internal Dialogue: Understand it starts with you, but be aware of potential misunderstandings.
Choose the right time and place, and set the environment.
Set appropriate expectations.
During the Conversation
Use the "honor-truth-honor" sandwich.
Be assertive, and avoid beating around the bush.
Be curious, seek understanding, respect, and encourage dialogue.
Practice active listening.
Be prepared to stop and return if needed.
Post Conversation
Follow up after the conversation.
If needed, consider seeking mediation for help.
Podcast Mentions
Facebook Group: Join the Family!
Psychology Today: 5 Tips for Tough Conversations With Your Partner
John Gottman: Conversational Boundaries without Stonewalling
Women Bring up Issues 80% of the Time: John Gottman Research
Essence: The Right Way To Have Difficult Conversations With Your Partner
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
A few months ago I was on a high I felt like I was working on everything that I wanted to accomplish and out of nowhere I just stopped. I made excuses and told myself it was because I'm tired, or I needed a break or work-life balance. 4 weeks went by and I was getting worse and worse and moving further and further from my goals. I accepted my behaviors as proof that I am all the negative things I say about myself. I'm an imposter, lazy, inconsistent, and indecisive person. I stumbled upon a video talking about self-sabotage that I ignored but over the next couple of weeks that word kept coming back to me so I decided to explore the concept and guess what I found out— I am a self sabatour.
In this episode we will be defining and discussing sabotage and its effects on yourself and your relationship, how to recognize sabotage in your relationship, and tips and advice to work through it.
Podcast Mentions
Free Workshop on Communication: Click Here!
Magic Mind: Use The Code "blackmarriage20" for 50% off
Sabotage Resources
MedCircle: 2 Unexpected Ways to Heal Self Sabotage
MedCircle: Turn Self Sabotage Into Self Improvement
Therapy Resources
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
Dive into the world view of men with Junior Smith & Mychael Starke as they reveal the essence of empathy in relationships. In this episode, these men discuss (in detail) things like how to recognize emotions, balance understanding without mere agreement, and the impact of external stresses on our empathetic responses. Listen in to learn more and equip yourself with tools and to build more empathetic connections with your spouse and family.
Podcast Mentions
Facebook Group: Join the Family!
Find more info on Willard F. Harley here.
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
🚨Trigger Warning🚨: This episode delves into a sensitive topic and discusses instances of sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.
Today, we're honored to be joined by the inspiring Sherell Harmon. In this deeply heartfelt conversation, we'll be exploring Sherell's journey through moments of pain and adversity, marked by experiences of childhood molestation, trauma, the absence of a father figure, and toxic relationships. In this episode, Sherell generously shares her personal narrative, recounting how these experiences shaped her life and relationships. She opens up about her path to triumph over the darkness, offering insight into her healing journey. Moreover, Sherell's message resonates not just as a testament to her own strength, but as a beacon of hope for others who've shared a similar past.
Podcast Mentions
Share your Opinion on Relationships: Survey Link
Magic Mind:Use The Code "blackmarriage20" for 50% off
Connect w/ Sherrell Harmon: Facebook and Instagram
Therapy Resources
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
In this episode, we welcome Schelo, a seasoned finance expert and CEO of Black Women Invest. With 8+ years of industry experience, Schelo has cultivated a community of over 13 thousand women, all united in their quest to learn about investing and wealth building. Having recently celebrated her marriage, Schelo brings a unique insight into financial dynamics within relationships. In this episode, we explore the nuances of prenups, tackle debt management, uncover the path to financial togetherness, and even suggest creative financial date night ideas. From understanding modern perspectives on money matters to gaining essential insights into successful financial partnerships, this episode promises valuable takeaways. Subscribe, tune in, and transform your understanding of finances within relationships.
Podcast Mentions
Share your Opinion on Relationships: Survey Link
Magic Mind: Use The Code "blackmarriage20" for 50% off
Connect with Schelo:
Instagram: @blackwomeninvest_ @investwithschelo
Facebook Group: BWI Facebook Group w/ Over 13.3K Members
Website: BWI- Chapters, Brunch, and More
Podcast Stats
Statistics on Debt: Experian
Statistics on Marriage By Age over Time: Pew Research
Therapy Resources
Therapy for Black Men: Find a Therapist
Therapy for Black Girls: Find a Therapist
BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/
TalkSpace: https://www.talkspace.com/
CBT Thought Diary: https://cbtthoughtdiary.com/
Libby Audiobook Library: https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby/
Z-Library: Digital Library
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