Borderline and Back: Hope, Management and Resilience for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Am I the most consistently inconsistent BPD podcaster out there? Quite possibly... Thank you all for sticking by me after another months-long hiatus where I have worked through some thoughts and experiences I have been going through. I struggle with knowing what to share. I struggle with trusting myself and my experiences as I enter a new stage of BPD management - I guess you could say have been gaslighting myself a lot lately. I have been struggling with how I will come across here as I talk about how much better I am doing. Is that relatable? I worry it will come off as bragging. And then I remember part of why I wanted to share through this podcast is to ultimately spread hope in addition to sharing struggles, skills, tips and tricks that have helped me. 

Thank you for continuing to be on this journey of growth with me.

Maggie

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

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Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

Am I the most consistently inconsistent BPD podcaster out there? Quite possibly... Thank you all for sticking by me after another months-long hiatus where I have worked through some thoughts and experiences I have been going through. I struggle with knowing what to share. I struggle with trusting myself and my experiences as I enter a new stage of BPD management - I guess you could say have been gaslighting myself a lot lately - that is an idea for a whole different podcast episode. 

Join me today as I discuss tying up loose ends as I have finalized my divorce. How I found my voice to express my experiences of our marriage to my ex-husband and how I allowed myself the space to not make myself or my experiences small.

Thank you for continuing to be on this journey of growth with me. 

Maggie 

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

Hello Everyone, 

I started recording this episode over a month ago, and I couldn't finish it. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was carrying so much shame about the subject matter that I couldn't sit down to finish recording. I was carrying the shame that I have this platform but that I had something in my life tied to my BPD management journey that was not "in control". I carried shame that I wasn't perfect, that I was a fraud. I thought I could tackle this alone, and today I realized that I can't anymore. You will notice a difference in the recording where I pop in over a month later from when I initially pressed play and I chat about where I am at today (time of recording and uploading).

Eating disorders are extremely serious and should be (need to be) addressed and monitored by trained medical professionals. It was so hard for me to make those calls to my psychiatrist, therapist, GP, and friend today. But it needed to be done. I need help. And there is no shame in admitting that. I am including some links below to resources that are available to those of you who might be struggling with an E.D yourself or have a loved one who is. 

National Eating Disorder Information Centre (Canadian) https://nedic.ca/

Eating Disorder Hope (international) https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/international

ANAD (United States) https://anad.org/

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

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Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

A subscriber to the show (Ainsley) requested an episode about beginner-friendly advice/tips for someone who has been recently diagnosed. What a brilliant idea for an episode, I am kind of disappointed in myself for not thinking of this first!! 

I released this for early subscriber access back in July and wanted to share it out now for the rest of you. Sorry for the muffled audio - I am sorting out how to have better audio on video uploads, something that I plan to make exclusive for subscribers (as well as exclusive/early episode releases).

Tips!

* google isn't always your friend, Reddit is terrifying, a lot of stigmatizing content is out there

* make sure you take care of your physical health and safety first, that means getting help for any kind of eating disorder, self harm activity, making those dreaded doctors and dentist appointments. Physical health is a major part of mental health and vice-versa

* be selective about the content you choose to consume - social media etc

* start small! Management isn't a sprint, it is a marathon. It is tempting to want to throw yourself into it but that will lead to burn out - trust me

* be kind to, and forgive yourself first. learn to love yourself unconditionally, to be able to care for yourself (aka little you, your inner child with needs) to release the need for other people to ground us emotionally

Thanks to each of you for supporting this podcast, I appreciate you all so much.

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

The topic for the episode was requested by a listener; I don't know if I actually hit the nail on the head here. I ramble a bit, but I hope that there is something  helpful for at least one listener. Please know you are not alone, that while the deepest lows might feel crushing, the emotional roller coaster might have you feeling exhausted - like it is too much - that I hope you can pause and find something to ground you. To recentre you and help you feel connected to something, someone, outside of yourself. 

If you are in a state of crisis or are having thoughts of suicide/self harm please call your local emergency services number. Below is a link to several international suicide and crisis support lines as well. 

https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

This episode is for you, the people who love us. The people who see us, the pain we experience, the maladaptive ways that we behave and who want to help us. But who do not know how. 

I want you to know that there is no easy way to have these conversations. We are likely going to act out, be angry, reject what you are trying to tell us - because we are experiencing what you are telling us as rejection and not care. But thank you regardless. Thank you for being willing to have those hard conversations

What is most important is to care for yourself first. Educate yourself. Be ready to have conversations when your loved one is ready.

Resources mentioned in the podcast

Check out my link tree for workbooks mentioned Thanks to each of you for supporting this podcast, I appreciate you all so much. https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Dr. Daniel Fox's Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/DrDanielFox

Back from the Borderline Podcast with Host Molly https://www.backfromtheborderline.com/

From Borderline to Beautiful Podcast with Host Rose https://open.spotify.com/show/1ct9I19GdLTzOLjiukP6Fq

You Me and BPD Podcast with Sean https://www.youmeandbpd.org/

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

I am burnt out! I can say that without shame - well mostly. I had been beating myself up about it, feeling guilty - like I shouldn't be feeling this way as an adult. That this meant I was less of an adult somehow (ridiculous I know). But today while I was in a state of dissociation/derealization I received an email from a listener and it reminded me of what I tell each of you who tune in at the end of every episode - a reminder to give myself some grace, I am doing better than I think I am.

In this episode, I reflect on burnout, and the physiological and psychological impacts it has on me. Recognizing how I got here, I talk about the shame and guilt (yes it was worth mentioning twice in the show notes) and my intentions for myself to snap out of this burnout.

Thanks to each of you for supporting this podcast, I appreciate you all so much.

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

I am truly so excited to bring this episode to you all. I met Melanie a few months ago over social media. We have developed a friendship based off of common approaches to life, managing our BPD and life goals. Melanie is one of my favourite content creators and I truly value her vulnerability when it comes to sharing her story, beliefs and the path she chooses to walk in life. 

I am linking the resources Mel mentioned below in the show notes as well as in the link tree. You can follow Melanie on instagram @mindovermelanie.

Approval Additiction - Joyce Meyer

Back from the Borderline Podcast

Thanks to each of you for supporting this podcast, I appreciate you all so much.

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

I realized that I received my BPD and ADHD diagnosis right around 2 years ago now. That time FLEW by. I wanted to reflect on what that diagnosis meant for me, how I feel about my journey so far. 

I am content, I am stable, and I really love the person I am.  I am actually insanely grateful for my diagnosis, it helped me get to where I am at today.

Thanks to each of you for supporting this podcast, I appreciate you all so much.

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.

One of the truly more humbling parts of my BPD management journey has been reflecting on my relationships with people, my interactions, how I have treated people in my life who I felt "wronged" me. Where I was not respectful, where I did not recognize someone as an individual human with their own experiences, lives and feelings. Where I was only focused on how a situation was impacting me. I have been working on relationship repair, apologizing to people I was awful to, without the expectation for an apology to be accepted or for me to receive any kind of forgiveness. To simply recognize that I was, in many cases cruel and vindictive, and to say that to people in my life. I am also working on being on the receiving end of those types of interactions as well. 

It is hard, is is very uncomfortable, but this is where I find the most growth as a person.

Thanks to each of you for supporting this podcast, I appreciate you all so much.

M.

All Things Borderline and Back https://linktr.ee/borderlineandback

Want to receive access to exclusive content? Consider subscribing for $4.99 per month https://anchor.fm/borderlineandback/subscribe

Check out the Borderline and Back patreon to support this podcast. https://www.patreon.com/borderlineandback/membership

Want to reach out? I can be reached by email at [email protected], through the Anchor App's voice message function, and via instagram @borderlineandback.