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By Rose Skeeters
4.7
266266 ratings
The podcast currently has 273 episodes available.
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Fear looks like an ocean. It looks like it will swallow you. Jay puts language on something a lot of people in BPD recovery already feel: the fear is a mile wide and an inch deep. From a distance it looks massive. After you take one step, you find out you can stand. In this episode of From Borderline to Beautiful, Rose and Jay talk about what actually gets you across that threshold — not more confidence first, but action. Confidence comes after you begin. We cover:Why fear looks like drowning when it is often a puddleWhy you do not need confidence before you actHow past experiences make a small step feel hugeWhy “I’m frustrated” is not the same as “I’m leaving”Fight, flight, and freeze — and what each one is protectingHow fear gets used to control, cover, or avoid being exposedTrading humiliation for patienceAligning your fight with the desire of your heart: a life worth living, not comfort in shame If you keep waiting to feel ready, the fear stays wide. If you take the inch-deep step with your eyes open, you collect proof that you can stand. Try this after you listenName the fear in one sentence. What are you actually afraid will happen?Separate history from this moment. What is old, and what is here?Take one action that matches the life you want, not the comfort you know.After you do it, do not disqualify it. Own it.Fall Group – Starting September 30 I’m running a small fall group beginning September 30. Space is limited on purpose so participants can actually practice these skills with support and feedback. If you’ve been wanting structured work around emotion regulation, abandonment fear, and breaking the safety-behavior cycle, this group is designed for that. Individual session openings are also available if you prefer one-on-one work. Details: thriveonlinecounseling.com Book a session with Rose or Jay: thriveonlinecounseling.com Call/Text: 844-984-7483 (844-9-THRIVE) Fall group forming, register today! Podcast Website: thriveonlinecounseling.com Follow the show for more on BPD recovery, betrayal trauma, shadow work, values-based healing, and building authentic relationships. You are loved. You are worthy. You are created with purpose . See you next week on From Borderline to Beautiful.

In this episode, we look at the quiet ways people with BPD try to protect themselves from abandonment, emotional overwhelm, and the fear of losing control — and how those same strategies often keep the fear locked in place. You’ll hear a clear breakdown of safety behaviors, why they feel necessary in the moment, and how they prevent the brain from learning that the catastrophe is either less likely or more survivable than it feels. We also walk through imaginal exposure and response prevention as a practical way to start interrupting the cycle. This is a straightforward, skills-focused episode for anyone who recognizes the urge to check, test, shut down, or escape when the emotion gets big. In this episode we cover:What safety behaviors actually are in BPDThe four main types (avoidance, escape, BPD-specific strategies, and subtle cognitive ones)Real examples of how these behaviors show up in relationships and with intense emotionWhy short-term relief keeps the long-term fear aliveHow imaginal exposure works and the key rules that make it effectiveBuilding a simple hierarchy of feared situations and emotionsWhat tends to shift when you practice staying with the feeling without the usual exits Fall Group – Starting September 30I’m running a small fall group beginning September 30. Space is limited on purpose so participants can actually practice these skills with support and feedback. If you’ve been wanting structured work around emotion regulation, abandonment fear, and breaking the safety-behavior cycle, this group is designed for that. Individual session openings are also available if you prefer one-on-one work. Details: thriveonlinecounseling.com Book a session with Rose or Jay: thriveonlinecounseling.com Call/Text: 844-984-7483 (844-9-THRIVE) Fall group forming, register today! Podcast Website: thriveonlinecounseling.com Follow the show for more on BPD recovery, betrayal trauma, shadow work, values-based healing, and building authentic relationships. You are loved. You are worthy. You are created with purpose . See you next week on From Borderline to Beautiful.

In this episode Rose Skeeters breaks down the intersection of gaslighting and borderline personality disorder with clear definitions, research-backed explanations, and practical tools. She covers how to tell the difference between true gaslighting and BPD-related dissociation or emotional reasoning, whether people with BPD gaslight others, the problem of self-gaslighting, and concrete steps for protection, boundaries, and repair. From Borderline to Beautiful — Real hope, real tools, real recovery.00:00 Introduction to Gaslighting and Its Relevance in BPD02:55 Understanding Gaslighting: Patterns and Signs04:34 Why Gaslighting Hits Harder in BPD05:53 Recognizing Patterns of Gaslighting09:55 Gaslighting vs Dissociation: Key Differences13:00 Unintentional Gaslighting in BPD16:30 Self-Gaslighting and Internal Invalidations18:29 Practical Strategies to Respond to Gaslighting22:10 Therapeutic Approaches for Reality Testing and Emotional Regulation23:48 Resources and Support for Gaslighting Recovery Book a session with Rose or Jay: thriveonlinecounseling.com Call/Text: 844-984-7483 (844-9-THRIVE) Summer group wrapping up soon — Mid-Fall group forming (email today to save your spot) Podcast Website: thriveonlinecounseling.com Follow the show for more on BPD recovery, betrayal trauma, shadow work, values-based healing, and building authentic relationships. You are loved. You are worthy. You are created with purpose . See you next week on From Borderline to Beautiful.

In this episode, Rose Skeeters welcomes Bob Drozek, a leading expert in mentalization-based treatment (MBT), to discuss how understanding and improving mentalizing can support hope and recovery from borderline personality disorder (BPD). Listeners will gain insights into the foundational concepts of MBT and practical strategies for fostering better emotional and relational health. Key topics:Mentalization explained: Accessing, reflecting, and understanding mental states in oneself and others (00:00:41)The importance of mentalization in everyday life and therapy (00:55:27)How trauma, rejection, and intense emotions disrupt mentalizing abilities (01:26:00)The role of psychical equivalence mode—certainty about negative self-beliefs— in BPD (05:03:00)Differences between skills-based therapies like DBT and relational, reflective approaches like MBT (13:42:00)The structure of MBT treatment: Formulation, collaborative development, and tailored strategies (16:19:00)Tools to assess and enhance self-awareness, including worksheets for identifying mentalizing strengths and vulnerabilities (19:00:00)The certainty toolkit and overcoming rigid beliefs about oneself and others (21:16:00)Building empathy: Overcoming empathic deficits related to shame and self-criticism (31:00:00)Navigating unstable self-identity through perspective-taking and understanding emotional validation (38:06:00)Success stories of MBT applying to real-world recovery, reducing self-harm, and improving relationships (45:30:00)Resources & Links Purchase Mentalization Workbook here: https://a.co/d/0dIkE170 Access Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/MentalizationBook Worksheets: https://global.oup.com/booksites/content/9780198916857/ Contact Bob Drozek here: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robertdrozek/ MBT Boston—an organization that Bob Drozek co-founded that offers training and supervision to clinicians across the world in MBT: www.mbtboston.com/ Need individual support? Schedule a session with Rose here: https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/ To schedule with Jay, click here: https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/ Gift cards now available for purchase here: https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/ **This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way** Thank you to Noah Esreal for sharing his latest song with us, Now Knowing This. If you liked the clip in the beginning of this episode, you can find the whole song at the end of the episode.

Having Borderline Personality Disorder often means going back to the drawing board to recreate a stable identity. This week's episode focuses on a South African tribe that honors each individual child through song. In addition, I answer an individual's question about CPTSD and hypervigilance. Borderline Personality Disorder recovery work is often painful and difficult. Listen in today to hear a message of hope and encouragement and to add being honorable to your moral compass! Remember to spread the word that BPD/CPTSD/EUPD are all disorders that hurt, though that we can recover from with tenacity, patient endurance, and hard work! Contact us today at 1-844-9-THRIVE. [email protected] OR [email protected]. Schedule a mindset coaching session today here: https://www.skeetersstrength.com/product/individual-sessions/ Get your gear here: https://thrive-merchandise.creator-spring.com/?
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