Church of Lazlo Podcasts

​Vacation is over kids. Get back to work. During our vacation last week, Lazlo's life changed drastically. It all started when the ac in his car broke and ended with his wildest dreams coming true. *Doomscrolling! America's war in Afghanistan is over and the country is in chaos. Britney's dad agreed to end his conservatorship! A Missouri man decided to see what it would feel like to play GTA in real life. Kevin Hart offended Don Cheadle during an interview. *Lazlo got a little too tipsy and texted or boss over the weekend.......about his daughter. Seriously. *You could be missing subtle signs that you're much more attractive than you think. *When did American school teachers stop looking like school teachers? Something is going on there. *Are you a psychopath? Are we psychopaths? Probably. *Have a great day! Don't forget to reach out to us on Insta and twitter @churchoflazlo  -Everybody Wang Chung!!!!

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Our last show before vacation!! We are totally checked out! Lazlo is angry that his kid keeps doing well on placement tests. Think back to when you were young and still had that spark for life. Any idea where you lost it? Lazlo has a pretty theory. *How the hell did people survive living in America with no air conditioning? Seriously, how did they not die? *What do British people hate about Americans? Is this something British people think about often? Are they aware how little we think about them? *Doomscrolling!! The military is probably going to force all active service members to get vaccinated. California is still on fire. Biden gave Congressional Gold Medals to the police who worked at the capitol on Jan 6. Someone lost their pet cobra in Texas. A women honked at a group of ATV/Dirt Bike riders so they pulled her from the car and beat her. A woman is accused of wrapping her dead mother's body in newspaper and hiding her in the house because she wanted the social security. A business owner in Washington decides to pick a fight with trans people. Apple is gonna start scanning your photos to make sure you aren't producing child pornography. *Mustard flavored hot dog buns. Why didn't we think of this sooner? *Eight little things men can do to impress their wives/girlfriends. *A shockingly high percentage of Americans think they could compete in at least one Olympic sport and hold their own. *A listener asks Lazlo if she's a jerk just because she wants to date someone who makes good money.  *Who or what has the worst fans? Rick & Morty? Swifties? *Retro junk is in right now. Check your attic because you could be sitting on a goldmine. *Thank you for listening! We are off for one week but we will be back on August 16th. Until then, Everybody Wang Chung!!!

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Slimfast had to leave to go dogsit for his mom....so I'm gonna take a crack at this description thing!

It's National Underwear Day and Lazlo demanded that we show him our undies.  Some jerks on Twitter were mad about a sign language interpreter going viral.  Doomscrolling, exactly what you would expect, COVID and confusion from Slimfast. 

We learned what are some of the most attractive jobs.  Slimfast tested us to see if we have ever been in love.  What were some of the mistakes you made as a teenager that still effect you today?  Slimfast gets the maddest I've ever seen at Lazlo....two words...MOM JOKES!

Enjoy! - Jeriney

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​Julia got worried for a second and thought Father's Day was this weekend. So she forgot what month is was by a couple months. How would that have anything to do with further proving she is Lazlo's daughter? Just listen because it's super weird. *Jeriney says life is harder for beautiful women. Specifically, professional life is harder for beautiful women. More specifically, one lawyer on Tik Tok is saying this. *Doomscrolling! Dems tell Cuomo it's time to throw in the towel. The United States has donated more than 100 million vaccines around the world. The FDA is close to approving that vaccine you already took. Arkansas governor says he regrets banning masks in schools. Video shows a woman trying to fight off an aggressive coyote with a stick. *Alvin has the plague. *Some people think you should let a fussy baby cry it out on the floor at the mall. Some people don't *Only Slimfast could find a way to make late-night conversations with strangers weirder. *He's back! After losing to Phil Helmuth on tv, Nick Wright is on the show to tell us what went wrong. *Lazlo is interested in using his future AMC money to buy a "shadow yacht". *Boooom! That's another show on the books! Reach us after hours on twitter and Insta @churchoflazlo , check out lazlo.church , and    Everybody Wang Chung!!!! 

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​YOOOOOOO! The entire gang is here today and we've never been more excited to hang out with you! *Julia was at Lollapalooza last week. She gives us the Reader's Digest recap. Just like Woodstock 99, it sounds like Limp Bizkit stole the show. *Doomscrolling! The pentagon is on lockdown and an aircraft hit the world trader center building? Workplace shooting at the Smile Direct Club warehouse. The iceberg from the Titanic is still injuring people. Spirit and American Airlines canceling hundreds of flights. In some parts of the country, COVID is now the worst it's ben since the pandemic began. A cop responds to a noise complaint about a band performing live. Instead of telling them to shut things down, he steps in as drummer. *Andrew Cuomo responds to accusations of inappropriate kissing by releasing a montage of him kissing strangers. *A lyft driver is chased down by a man begging her for a ride. Some of the internet seems upset that she didn't give him that ride but we all agree that she did the right thing. *The internet votes on the most overrated bands/artists of all time. (These conversations only create new enemies, never friends) *The Honey Challenge on Tik Tok seems harmless enough but "experts" are calling for caution. This made us think, what were the dumbest internet trends of all time? *A Grand Rapids man robbed a bunch of ice cream joints and got arrested. Police release him with a tether and he proceeds to rob more ice cream joints. Is he stealing ice cream? Do ice cream places have a lot of cash or something? *Where's everyone going for vacation? Why are we discussing Slim's undesirable body hair? *As always, THANK YOU for hanging out with us today. We'd love to see you again tomorrow. We got the next round.  -Everybody Wang Chung!!!! 

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It's Jeriney's birthday and we actually remembered it!! Birthdays can be a bummer but they don't have to be. *Slimfast says his parents once forgot his birthday and Lazlo is stunned. *Doomscrolling! Just get vaccinated already! This delta crap is ravaging the country. Simone is going to compete again! Multiple mass shootings over the weekend. Stop shooting each other! High jumpers share a gold medal and Lazlo is not impressed. A 74 year-old women allegedly shot and killed her husband after a night of drinking. Slimfast recalls one of his worst nights of drinking but Lazlo thinks it sounded like fun.  *Why don' men have more birth control options? Condoms and surgery are the two options. Well, China may have come up with another option and Lazlo is all in. *Most Americans claim to have a bae on standby. Unfortunately, most of those back burner lovers are exes and they say that's not good for you. *Is toxic femininity a thing? If so, it's a touchy subject. *Actors who are embarrassed by movies they did. *Can Lazlo name ten summer Olympic sports without looking them up? *Monday is done! Send it to the archives and get ready for Tuesday. Happy Birthday Jeriney!! We LOVE  you!!!!      -Everybody Wang Chung!!! 

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Why was Lazlo caught screaming in the women's restroom? He could answer this question but he'd rather talk about Major League Baseball. *If society collapses, where do you want to be? Costco? That's a good answer but there's a new listing the countries most likely to be survive doomsday. *Doomscrolling! Biden says Americans are spoiled and need to get vaccinated. Florida man attempts to fight a Jaguar in the zoo. The creators of South Park want to save Casa Bonita. Guess who's 40? Another serial pooper is on the loose in Colorado. How to save a life with a bag of chips. *You wake up tomorrow with Bezos wealth. What's the first thing you do? *Lazlo has a heart-to-heart with Slimfast about his Instagram use. *Do women actually use all that stuff they keep in the shower? *Have a great weekend! Thanks for listening! Reach us anytime on twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo    -Everybody Wang Chung!!!!

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Jeriney and Julia are both out today. Let​'s see if we can keep out of trouble. Did you watch Nick Wright playing poker last night? We have to admit, he looked pretty damn cool. *Don't have an opinion about all this Simone Biles stuff? Well you better get one! How else are we supposed to know where you stand politically?!?! *Doomscrolling! Suni Lee wins gold! CDC says it's mask season again. Lasers on drones zapping clouds. The US government sold a Wu Tang album. Lazlo loves ZZ Top. *You think your job sucks? Wait til you hear about our slightly warm studio! *Anyone else watch Relentless on Discovery? Slimfast didn't like the ending so Lazlo suggest they go fix it themselves. *Got a loud neighbor? Just leave it be. *Guys, how do you let her know you're in the mood? If you said booze, well, you said the same thing as Lazlo. *Lazlo has been trying to get Slim to invest some money in the stock market. Stocks and bonds just sound alien to Slim. *We're out! Have a great day and don't forget to follow us and reach out on social @churchoflazlo and check out lazlo.church   -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

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YO! How ya feeling? Good? Good! You been watching the Olympics? Neither have we! But everyone seems to have Olympic fever and we're not immune. What is the hardest sport in the Olympics? Gymnastics? Boxing? Water polo? Experts seem to be divided. *The biggest news of the day was Simone Biles. A woman in Kentucky kills a man with a bb gun. Add jet fuel to the list of stuff we're running out of. A woman in Seattle finds a dead lizard in her salad. *Live from Vegas, Nick Wright is on the program! Add 'world's greatest poker player' to Nick's resume. *A mom on tik tok goes viral for saying kids don't owe their parents anything, ever. That might be true but we all owe Slim's mom something. *Did you know that you can get in trouble for saying you have a nuclear bomb, even if you don't? *Slimfast discovered a little slice of heaven in Louisiana. *Who are the top ten coolest guys of all time? Top ten coolest gals? *Jobs that sound cool but actually aren't. *Boom! Thanks for listening. Have a great day and don't forget -Everybody Wang Chung!!

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Most people have at least joke memorized, one phone number memorized, and on great idea for a new reality show. *Julia just learned that the best to get Lazlo's advice is not asking for it. *Could Bennifer 2.0 already be in trouble? Lazlo seems to think so. *Doomscrolling!!! Just like early 00's fashion trends, COVID is making a comeback. Rescuers in New York rush to lift a car off an injured mother and her baby. A armless man has been going around random stores telling women he wants to rub and massage their feet. Did cops try to plant drugs on someone at a traffic stop? *The most annoying thing rich people do without realizing. *Ever write a bad review about a business? Careful, you could get sued. *We have a new all-time creepiest ring doorbell video. *What would you do if you woke up and discovered your bank accidently deposited $50 billion in your account? ​Lazlo says you gotta take it to the casino and he makes a compelling argument. *No socks, no shoes, no service. *Have a great day! See ya tomorrow! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

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