Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Ever had someone come to your house trying to sell magazines? Have you ever actually tried to buy magazines from one of those people? If not, you may be surprised to learn that you can buy a magazine subscription for a mere $180 and all of your personal information. *First it was PPE's, then it was toilet paper, then it was appliances, then it was cars, then it was gas, and now Americans are experiencing a friend shortage. *Doomscrolling!! An amusement park ride in Iowa malfunctioned and killed a little boy. The delta variant is causing all kinds of problems, especially in a handful of states. Police departments might be retiring their K-9 units for good in many states. We tried doctors offices, minute clinics, grocery stores, and even bars but perhaps vaccines at McDonalds will help us hit our goals. A white guy in New Jersey was caught screaming racist garbage on camera and then the cameras caught him being escorted into a police cruiser. Teenagers can be really annoying but when they force you to cancel your vacation they deserve jail time. *America's Got Talent met their "tear-jerker episode" quota last night. *Leave Megan Fox alone!!! *What do guys wish women knew about men? Forget it. I was gonna tell you but you obviously don't care. No, it's fine. I can tell when I'm annoying you. Go play video games or DM that new girl from work. Seriously! I'm not mad. I've been meaning to call my mom anyway. Don't worry, I'll go to the bedroom and close the door. Wouldn't want to inadvertently remind you that I exist. *Nick Wright is on the show!! He's talking sports, parenting, and opens up about his least favorite person on our show. *That's it! You may notice that the show dribbles on for a few more minutes but that was just an oversight on my part. Have a great day, text your friend before you become strangers, and call that family member. You know the one. Just get it over with. -Everybody Wang Chung!!!!! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Isn't it great to be back at work?! No place I'd rather be and you're the best person I could hope to see. Did everyone have a good 4th? Lazlo had a good time but he's little "tired" today. *The top things parents care about today are a lot different than the things parents cared about thirty years ago. That's probably not an entirely bad thing. *Doomscrolling!!! An NHL goalie was killed by fireworks this weekend. Bank tellers really do have dye packs and they really do use them. Putin just made one of the most bizarre flexes ever. A shooting on a golf course three people dead and all of us confused. *You addicted to anything? What would say you're most addicted to? Plenty of Americans are addicted to plenty of things but we've only got time to go over the starting roster. *True or False-It's illegal to drive your car with the interior lights on at night. *Julia almost forgot to tell us the big news!! We just learned that Bennifer 2.0 is ________. Also, why is Britney still not free? *In your opinion, which celebrity had the hardest fall from Grace? I vote Josh Duggar. That guy really had it all going for him. *That's it! It's a million degrees in this office again so I'm gonna say ciao! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Friday!!! It's 4th of July weekend! Do you have plans? Be careful with those fireworks. *Is Lazlo patriotic? Slimfast thinks not. It's time for Lazlo to take a patriotism test. How will he do? *Doomscrolling!! The rescue efforts continue in Florida but now they have a hurricane to worry about. Did you get the J&J vaccine? Looks like it will protect you from this delta variant. Are people in your neighborhood shooting off fireworks already? Well, they were in Cape Coral Florida and neighbor decided to protest the noise by screaming fireworks noises and even saying, "FIREWORKS! FIREWORKS! BOOM!" Looks like Richard Branson might beat Bezos to space but Bezos just invited and 82 year-old woman to join him on the journey. We now have round hots shaped like patties. Jeriney says it's just bologna and she's not the only one. A man is upset that his insurance company is shorting him after he burned his house down while trying to cook a steak in his toaster. There's a new reality coming to network TV. People get diarrhea and slide down slip-n-slides together. An Ohio cop was fired for making a KKK sign and putting it on another officer's desk. He's alleged to have literally said, "What are you gonna de? Fire me?' seconds before he was fired. McDonalds is giving out really good surprises in their Happy Meals. *Jobs that people think are glamorous but really aren't. Did your job make the list because mine did. *Things that guys do that piss off other guys. Julia wants to know if these things are true. *Slimfast is a Country Psychic and Jeriney found a fitting song for the holiday weekend. *Nick is on the show and he's got beef with everyone but Julia. *That's it! Have a great weekend and enjoy the 4th!    -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

YO! How ya doing? Welcome to the podcast. Let's do this thing! *How long is too long Half an hour? Twenty minutes? Let's find some answers. *Doomscrolling!!! Bill Cosby is out of jail and so is Bill Clinton. A couple accidently buys a house on a landfill, people in the northwest wants air conditioners now, police are using super hero weapons now, and the cops in LA made a bomb and blew it up. *We're starting up a Dance Dance Revolution team! *Britney Spears still isn't free. We gotta change that.*Fourth of July is the best day of summer imo and it's almost here!! *Normal things that are actually terrifying. *Thanks for stopping by! See you all tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

​It's you! Thanks for giving us another chance. Lazlo wants to know if he's ever hurt anyone's feelings on this show. *Julia has a surprise story for Lazlo. She ran into an old acquaintance​ of his and now she's got some info about his past. *Doomscrolling! Allison Mack got sentenced, covid news, fake coupons, zebra cobras, and house explosions plus a bunch of other stuff. *Gen Z and Millennials are sharing the Boomer opinions they actually agree with. *Lazlo has seen a lot of nuns. Or were they just women dressed as nuns? *It's Wednesday and that means GTK!! Get to know us!! 1) What's your biggest doubt? 2) What would be the scariest sound to hear in the middle of the night? 3) Have you ever hooked up with a friend's significant other? 4) What song would you sing on Idol? *An official list of the things people are most likely to pretend they know more about than they actually do. *Time to go home and get drunk in front of the TV!! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Let's take a trip down memory lane! How the hell did we all end up here? *"Modest Is Hottest" is the most talked about song online today but for all the wrong reasons. *Doomscrolling! They're still searching for survivors in the rubble, it's really hot in Portland, Iowa man gets very upset when McDonalds forgets his dipping sauce, another study says spanking isn't good for your children, and a man kills lobsters to get back at his former coworkers. *Two Karens, one arrest. *We learn that Julia got her job by dancing on a table during her interview. *Lazlo is very excited about the new Sopranos prequel movie.*Nick is on the show and he's got a big announcement. *Scientists have finally found a cure for obesity. *Thanks for listening! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Monday!!! This is the best I'm gonna feel all week!! Slimfast says he feels slightly weird texting Lazlo's sons and wants to know if he should always include Lazlo on the texts. *We all have interests and hobbies but there seems to be a few that end up defining people. It's a Jeep thing, wouldn't understand. *Doomscrolling!! The search for survivors in the collapsed building continues, good guy with a bad guy's gun gets shot by a different good guy with a gun, naked sun bathers get startled by a deer and lost in the woods, birds are getting sick and dying and scientists don't know why, a man suspected in a 14 year-old crime just caught himself. *You may think strip teases are sexy but Lazlo assures you they are not. *Time to check in with Instagram @churchoflazlo and answer some questions. *Were you in a clique in high school? Is your clique still a thing in high schools today? *A New Yorker visits the Midwest for the first time and wrote about all the things that really surprised him. *The internet thinks everyone should know a few things about what it's like to be poor. *That's it! It's time to get a drink. Let's meet up at the same time again tomorrow! 

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lazlo and Jeriney are preparing a "Slimervention" and it catches Slimfast off guard. *Nick went on TV and named his favorite radio person in the country. Congratulations to that guy. *Doomscrolling! Buildings are falling down but congress and the White House are close to getting them fixed, Derek Chauvin gets sentenced to over 20 years, a teen gets stuck in a dressing room which happens to be an old bank vault, Conan ended his talk show last night, birds aren't real or some birds aren't real. *Timberlake tried to say something nice about Britney but the internet says he's to blame for everything. *Geiger retention. *There's a strike happening on Tik Tok. *The most popular things on American's bucket lists. Julia wants to do stand up. *All our drinking plans have been ruined tonight because of the weather here. Hopefully is nice wherever you are right now. We appreciate you and we can't wait to see you again in a couple days. Have a great weekend! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every American was talking Britney this morning. Slimfast has a proposal to protect Britney that he would like to share. We're skeptical at first but he may have eventually won us over. *Slimfast is running a roach motel. It sounds like enjoys it and thinks of it as a hobby. *Doomscrolling! Buildings are literally falling down in the US, Britney seems to have won over most of America (again), Biden thinks American people might need their own F15's and Nukes, forget Coachella because Redneck Rave is now the most talked about summer festival. *Jeriney loves seeing the four of us go at it and she's hoping she found a good trigger today. *(error: no description for this segment) *Disney is coming out with a new Turner & Hooch reboot. Slimfast thinks it would be less offensive if they remade The Godfather with Sean Williams Scott. *Tarantino got to autograph a pretty foot. Nothing brings everyone together like bulling Slimfast. *Thanks for listening! Tomorrow is Friday and we are gonna party together! -Everybody Go To Extremes!! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lazlo is real proud of himself for getting Slim all worked up at the top of the show. Nothing like starting the day with a little existential crisis. *The Supreme Court has ruled on the cheerleader who got in trouble for a private Snapchat post she made. Free Speech!!!! *Doomscrolling! The US will not meet their vaccination goals by July 4th but we aren't giving up, the helicopter company from Kobe's crash has settled the lawsuit, Britney is in court today and it's the first time she'll be allowed to personally address the judge about her conservatorship, Slimfast and the state of Florida think that communism is evil, the NYT got their lab results back and they weren't able to find any tuna in their tuna salad, teenagers decide to light firework in a grocery store and we're guessing they regret it right now. *Nick Wright is on the show and he's calling Julia names. *Julia promised us yesterday that she would bring some of her 7th grade poetry to work today. She came through! *Britney is addressing the court right now and it's all we care about. *Think you aren't privileged? Well, let's see how boxes you check on Julia's list. *Facebook friends don't ask Facebook friends for help hiding a body. You ask Lazlo for that. *Companies are installing cameras at their businesses so that they can watch and yell at their employees remotely. *Thanks for listening! If anyone is good with tech, let me know. I updated my iphone and now I can't open my secret calculator app. Apple says I have to update the app before I can use it but the app isn't supported anymore. Listen, I got some important stuff in there. Think of it as my version of Julia's poetry safe only way different. I can't just accept that it doesn't work anymore and move on with my life. It's also not something I can take to an apple store and ask for help. You see what I'm saying here? Help me! You can message @slimfast965 on Instagram. Thanks. By the way, if we could keep this between us, I'd really appreciate it. -Everybody Wang Chung!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.