Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Whoa! It's so good to see you! Thanks for coming back. I know we were a little rusty from vacation yesterday but we're firing on six cylinders today and I think we'll be firing on all eight tomorrow. The Strokes released a new song snippet so Slimfast is already having a good day. Lazlo watched true crime docs last night and Slimfast watched Lazlo's favorite doc about seniors living in a pretend paradise for retirement. The old people doc brought up a few concerns about Lazlo's current trajectory and we address all of them. *Jeriney found an 80's music quiz on buzzfeed because that's where quizzes live and we find out how much Julia (our youngest friend) knows about the decade preceding her birth. *Doomscrolling!!! An American woman is killed in Russia, ACLU files lawsuit against Arkansas and their anti-trans legislation, an NFL player comes out as openly gay, the Supreme Court says student athletes can get paid, Japan has released their COVID guidelines for the Olympics, a man discovers that his son is actually his uncle, a Post Office truck is confused for a U-Haul by an alleged car thief, Georgia Boyscouts rent and Airbnb that doesn't exist, and Gunther from Friends wants you to go to the doctor and get a real checkup. *A former MLB player says his wife cheated on him with their pastor/marriage counselor. *BET relased the trailer for their upcoming original movie called Karen. Yes, that type of Karen. ( https://youtu.be/nfEPWa1ay0U ) *The four best words you can say or hear during sex. Got any ideas? Hint: it's not "I love your swear" which is a real bummer for me. *A sex worker who streams live "Stuck" videos for $1.99 a minute actually got stuck in a chair. The fire dept had to come and get her out. Do you think it was staged? *They've figured out why men won't go to the doctor and they have four main reasons. Also, a loved woman in a man's life is the only person who can convince most men to go to the doctor. *A lot of Americans say they can really fit all their stuff in their home. Are we becoming hoarders? How would you feel if you suddenly lost all your stuff in a fire? *People really love social media. A ton of Americans would rather give up their tv's, cars, and pets than give up social media. *Wow! We're done already! It really went too fast today. Men, go to the doctor. Women, tell the men in your life to go to the doctor. Once you're done.......Everybody Wang Chung!!!!

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We're back from vacation! Time off is good but coming back and still having a job is way better. Julia probably had the most stressful vacation because she got scammed. To be fair, this sounds like a scam that anyone might fall for. *Doomscrolling! People sign petition to keep Jeff Bezos in space, a waitress is abducted after confronting men who didn't pay their bill, the Girl Scouts have too many cookies, OnlyFans seems to be forgetting why they're so popular, NC politician wants to arrest people if they give food or money directly to homeless, yelling at barista is all fun and games until you find out that her mom is the police chief, 2021 will go down in history as the year we cured hiccups. *A woman tries to hire a hitman and pay him in installments. *Slimfast approached random strangers on vacation and asked them for drugs. *Lettuce Water is all the rage on tik tok. *If you're over 30 and you have any of this stuff in your house, get rid of it. *Chrissy Teigen wants to do Oprah and apologize. *A list of the things we secretly judge people for the most. *Lots of people have kinks but not many have the guts to tell their partners. *Thanks for listening! Can't wait to see you again tomorrow! -Everybody Wang Chung!!

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Yo! Thanks for listening! This is our last podcast before we take a little break but we will be back in a week. Because it was our last day, we were a little worried about being checked out. It turns out, we were right to be worried. I feel we had a strong first half. *Slimfast is freaked out about hovering airplanes, alternate universes, and alien abductions. Lazlo knows how to calm him down though and he gets everyone back to reality in just a few minutes. *People are arguing about whether or not you should be able to get a job at 14. Some say it's child labor, we say it should be up to the kid. We had fun at those jobs when we were 14. *Doomscrolling! If you haven't seen it, this image https://bit.ly/2TRmo4c was the craziest thing in the news today. We also discuss stalking people with AirTags, cruise ships with Covid, and a few other things. Again, we're still in the first half of the show here and I think we're doing alright. *We check in with Instagram @churchoflazlo, answer a few questions, and chat at the bar together. *Feels like we​'re getting a little antsy here. Time to do Country Psychic. The song today was Sara Evans- Born To Fly. It's a female country song from 2000 so ain't that hard to predict but Slimfast does it anyway. *Is it time to leave yet? No? Alright. We bs about a few things and eventually end up discussing watermelon with yellow mustard. We have derailed. Time to say goodbye and take our first break of the year. As always, you're the best. Thanks for listening and don't be stranger. We read every text and every DM on our socials. @churchoflazlo Have a great weekend. Happy Father's Day. -Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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It's about 200 degrees in the office where I'm sitting right now so I'm gonna have to make this kind of quick. I don't remember what we talked about at the top of the show and it's too hot to walk all the way down the hall and ask Jeriney so you'll just have to listen. *I do remember talking about bridesmaid contracts. I remember it well actually because it ended with the girls fighting the boys and calling them dumb. *Doomscrolling! America donating vaccines, changing the moon's orbit, pit maneuvering a pregnant lady, anti vax woman sticking keys on her neck, happy meals demanded at gun point. *Ex prisoners explain what Hollywood gets wrong about being locked up and Lazlo confirms or denies. *Julia is hungover because she's 30 now. *Tinder is making it easier for people to cheat. *Just don't do ANY tik tok challenge. Just don't do any internet challenges. *A state trooper sent himself naked pics from a woman he was questioning. *Slimfast finally started watching Dark Side of the Ring. *Peace out! Sorry for being brief but it's too hot to stay here and I figured you'd rather have the podcast up early than wait for me to get all the way home and take my computer back out. Tomorrow is Friday and our last day before vacation so we will be totally checked out by then. -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

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It's Julia's birthday! Which decade is the best? Most people say 20's but once you turn 30, people in their 40's tell you they loved their 30's. I just roll with punches. Kind of sat on my ass for most of my 30's. Anyway, Julia is 30 and we're trying to freak her out a bit. Happy B-Day Julia. *If you're new to the United States, what are some things you should know to never do? Lots of advice about how to deal with the police. *Doomscrolling!!There's an exiting new variant of COVID visiting the US, Biden says Tik Tok can stay, a Fed Ex driver was attacked by two dogs and was seriously injured, Cicadas grounded a White House plane, is one bottle of Visine really lethal? * Gerrit Cole had an awkward moment when he couldn't answer a reporter's question. Is it possible that this guy has never lied? *Get To Know Us!! GTK! GTK! GTK! What childish things do you still enjoy? If you were sent back in time to 1850 completely naked, how would you prove to people that you're from the future? What movie can you watch over and over and never get tired of? *Nick is on the show! He needs to talk to Julia today and he needs a few minutes to vent about Jeff Bezos and other billionaires. *Have you heard of "book store bowels" or "MarikoAoki phenomenon"? Well, Julia has of it and she has it!! *How old do your kids need to be before you can leave them at home alone? A woman in Florida is in jail for going on a trip to California and leaving her elementary school-aged  kids at home. *Thank you!! Go do something awesome and have a great day. -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

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You're here. The podcast is here. Is this what you were looking for? If so, listen away. If you're undecided, here's a little glimpse of what happened on the show today. *Last night, Lazlo planned to have a nice quiet night alone but life doesn't care about our plans. *Apple is rolling out this new Legacy contact. When you die, this contact will have access to your iCloud content. Who will you choose? Make sure you think this through. Your first thought isn't necessarily the right choice. *Would you continue to eat food at restaurant after you found a hair in it? *Doomscrolling! Some website went down this morning, the Department of Justice hacked the Russians, Jeff Bezos is sending himself to space, a Texas mother snuck into her daughter's middle school, the mystery of the baby dinosaur in Florida has probably been solved, Burger King is taking shots at Chick-fil-a, and Washington has come up with a great incentive to get vaccinated. *What do you do to boost your mood when you're feeling low? Be honest. *Jeriney thinks the price of her AirBNB next week is too good to be true. *After years of speculation, we discover that Slimfast really does eat gas station food on regular. *How many dates do you have to go on before you know whether or not you life someone? Shouldn't the question be, How many dates do you have to go on before you realize you can't stand someone? *The FBI just arrested hundreds of alleged criminals and the way they did it is pretty smart but also scary. *What movie was so bad that you couldn't finish it? (We learn a neat fact about Lazlo during this discussion when he tells us about a sequel he liked better than the original) *That's it! Time to call it a day! Can't wait to see you back here again tomorrow. Have a great night and as always... -Everybody Wang Chung!!

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Hell of a show today girls and boys! Slimfast went to see Lazlo's son play baseball over the weekend and he got to see Lazlo "fight" with an ump. Lazlo is upset because he knew Slimfast was gonna bring this up today and it was the first thing he wanted to discuss. *Julia went to a celebration of life or memorial or something over the weekend. We all know Julia has a history of dressing inappropriately at funerals. So......wait til you hear what she did this time. *Slimfast went to a head shop over the weekend. Okay, that's not so weird. But he went there just to say hi to an employee because he was lonely. Seriously. *Doomscrolling!! Did you watch the big fight over the weekend? Lazlo did! If you would like to exit a commercial flight early, just bang on the cockpit door and scream "STOP THIS PLANE". A rookie Arkansas police officer saved a choking baby's life. A NC student wasn't allowed to have his diploma because he wore a Mexican flag draped over his shoulder on stage. A Texas bakery decides to celebrate Pride Month and their facebook is inundated with hate. Luckily, good people were quick to help out. *All of us are going on vacation next week so Julia is going to tell us every awful secret about hotel/motel rooms. *At what age did you start to take your health seriously? Never? Same here. *Which is better? Spending time alone or being around people you like? Do you feel like you need more or less alone time? *Slimfast sent a "close-talker" or "space-invader" to talk to Lazlo during his smoke break. *We discover that 1) Julia thinks she's straight egge 2) Jeriney doesn't black out 3) Lazlo admits to drinking and drugging occasionally 4) Slimfast is high as hell right now. *We are out of here! Hope to see you again tomorrow. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Twitter @churchoflazlo and swing by lazlo.church if you get a minute. -Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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You came back! Thank you! It's nice to have someone to hang out with, as we head into the weekend. Sometimes, it's just nice to have a day where we can talk about a little bit of everything. Did Lazlo sell his AMC stonk? Is Slimfast doing drugs during the show? *It turns out that millennials are less sensitive than boomers. Actual study figured this out! *Lazlo explains how he handles Slimfast and his mental health struggles. *Doomscrolling! Biden drops the mic, the mayor flies a dildo drone, an Amazon driver won a million bucks for getting vaccinated, a nine year old wrecks a car, a couple of teen heroes put out a fire, and a girl discovers her long lost sister using DNA and they have some crazy coincidences! *Did Lazlo sell his AMC stonk or not?! Nick is on the phone and he's not happy. Lazlo's choice of conversation doesn't help. *Is the hot beekeeper on tik tok a phony? *Can you guess which athletes made the most money in the last year? I'll tell you right now, you can't. *Americans may have their political disagreaments but pooping in someone's yard is a step too far. *What's the most annoying form of PDA? Lazlo accuses Slim of doing baby-talk with his girlfriend and it drives him crazy. *Have a great weekend!!! Keep in touch with us on Insta and Twitter @churchoflazlo   -Everybody Wang Chung!!!!

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We don't answer the phone around here. Like you, we prefer texting. There are only two people with "IMPORTANT" studio number. When they call, red lights flash and our hearts skip a beat. Who's calling us? It's either Nick or our boss. So again, please text us anytime (913) 576-7965 Slimfast saves all his emails. He shares a few emails from our boss....in 2003! *Jeriney has a secret admirer and they sends us the best texts. *Do you love playing board games? Do you host game nights? Do you cheat at Monopoly? You can learn a lot about a person based on board games. *Doomscrolling! AMC to the moon!! AMC back to earth :(  A mom accidentally shoots her son while trying to shoot the neighbor's dog. You got a chicken nugget that looks like someone or something famous? It could be worth thousands on eBay. If you have a seafood allergy, don't eat Cicadas. *Do you pay your kids for doing chores? Do you make your kids do chores at all? What if you paid your kids to just do things they like? Could that work? The internet is have a huge debate about it. *Julia lights some candles, jumps into the bath, and turns on Ja Rule. *Lazlo and Slimfast wasted their entire evenings last night watching stupid movies. So of course they feel the need to tell everyone about these terrible films. *Johnny Football is in the news again and everything he says seems to make us like him even more. *Nick is on the show! We talk AMC stonk and playoff basketball. *Thanks for hanging out with us today. We'd love to hang out one more time before the weekend kicks off. Same time, same place tomorrow? -Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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Lazlo's rich! Well, technically not yet but he's on his way. Now he has to decide whether or not to take certified pre-owned KIA or opt for whatever's behind Door #2. Speaking of being rich, the Friends cast made a boat-load of money on that reunion but it doesn't look like any of them needed it. *Just over half of Americans say they've had a crush on someone at work. It's 2021 though. Are you allowed to tell anyone you have a crush on a coworker? *Doomscrolling! The Russians are coming for our meat! West Virginia is giving away trucks and guns if you'll just get vaccianted. We pause to discuss 80's hair-metal for a few minutes but we eventually get back to the rest of the news, inluding the Bobcat that caused a Pennsylvania school to evacuate. *It's Wednesday and that means....GTK! GTK! What's the most scared you've ever been? What do you do when you can't sleep? *An OnlyFans model wants to become a politician and she has made an interesting campaign promise.  *How many people do you trust? Most Americans say about 7. But what does it mean to trust to someone? *Last week, Slimfast mentioned that in high school he let popular girls put makeup on him in class. We ran out of time to dive any deeper but Lazlo just remembered that he wanted to circle back around to it. *Way too many Americans think Jurassic Park was a documentary. *Before we say goodbye, let's see if we can decide which one of us is the most pathetic. *Have a great day! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

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