Church of Lazlo Podcasts

It's Friday and we get distracted a lot. Slimfast thinks he found a temporary cure for depression. Turns out it's a just a Van Halen playlist. Everyone shares their depression playlists. *Everyone has been doing this so we will too. You get kidnapped but the kidnappers drop you off because you won't stop talking about _____? *Doomscrolling! Matt Gaetz is having a terrible, no good, and very bad year. *The worst way you've been dumped or dumped someone. We read your answers and share our own. *Turns out Lazlo has feelings. Who knew? *Men who wear this brand of clothing have been scientifically proven to cheat more. *Why does anyone have to announce their DUI on TV or social media? *Guy gets a tattoo of his radio station logo. Guy gets fired a couple days later. *This study says people stop worrying about stuff as they age. We aren't buying it. *Have a great weekend! If you're feeling low, listen to some old popular rock that you don't really like. You've gotta listen loud though. -Everybody Wang Chung!!!  

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Where am I? What am I doing? Why am I always left alone in this studio writing descriptions for the podcast every night? I want to go home too, you know. Does anyone actually look at these descriptions and skip around to different parts of the podcast? Am I only doing this in case someone wants to find a segment from months ago? I guess that makes sense. It would be hard to find stuff without a description. *I don't know what to say about the opening break. Lazlo read the text line, we talked about buying cheaper mother's day gifts for your kids to give their mom because you're divorced, someone worked in an impressive "Slim's Mom" joke, and we eventually had to shut up and take a break. *Lazlo wants to break every guy code in the world, every code HE espouses. He wants to interview someone completely inappropriate.  *Doomscrolling! Biden is still boring and we all love it, the White House has beef with Joe Rogan, angry neighbors are building walls of shit in Michigan, a rock star in Florida saved someone's life, a 12 year old graduated college but he claims he has friends, a bride in Texas invited strangers to be her wedding party, Rudy got his stuff taken by the Feds, and twizzlers interrupt a Southwest flight. *It's NFL draft time and Nick is on the show to give us the low-down.  *Apology dinners are a thing and we're gonna make Lazlo host one. All persons with grievances are welcome to attend. *Lazlo answers questions from Instagram and twitter. *Everyone has a hangover cure but none of them work. *Lazlo discovers that Slimfast was setting up an interview with "salad expert" and he really wants to know Slim's motivation. *That's all. Take care. Get some sunshine whenever you can. Call you siblings and your parents. Call your best friend from high school that you keep denying you're losing touch with but deep down you know you are. -Everybody Wang Chung!!! 

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After all these years, we're just now discovering that Slimfast has been reading us news stories from other eras. It's not fake news, it's old news. Perfect teeth are the new fake boobs! *Lazlo doesn't know who Bhad Bhabie is. Also, Slimfast has been sending Lazlo links to Bhad Bhabie's OnlyFans via Signal. *Doomscrolling! Biden takes the mask off, more cops are in trouble, free booze if you'll get vaccinated, a lawmaker wants schools to teach the good part about slavery, if you haven't wagered money on song birds then you're missing out, and Jeriney is getting rich off plastic shoes. *Get To Know Us! You're favorite romantic movie, your last wish, and your favorite drunk food. *Is there anything more romantic than Slimfast wearing lennon pants on the beach? *Lazlo tells Slimfast where he can stick his sex toy. *A couple of transphobes get the Jersey treatment. *You're mother is disappointed with you. (but not with me) *Have a great night! Do something romantic for someone tonight! -Everybody Wang Chung!!   

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Somehow, we go from Lazlo being a good dad to the manner in which we'd like to die when our time is up. *How many things do you pretend to like just because everyone tells you it's great? Traveling? Game night? Roundabouts? *Doomscrolling! The Oscars were on last night and you didn't watch, a woman faces embezzlement charges for renting Sabrina the Teenage Witch, toddlers are escaping daycare, and the battle of the Josh's has a winner. *Do we have any embarrassing stories left to tell? Do you? *Slimfast uses GoogleTranslate to tell us a story from Serbia that involves death during sex. *Who on the show is most likely to....  *Tik Tok might be hiding your videos because you're ugly and your room is a mess. *A mix up at a hospital ended up with a baby named Korn. What is the best "band-baby" name? *Nick is on the show and he's more famous than ever!!! *Have a great day! Can't wait to see you tomorrow! -Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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It's Friday and we're all over the place! My favorite kind of show! *Shaw is getting crap online for some math he came up with on his show. We're really good at math here so we decided to defend him. *Doomscrolling! This missing submarine is really freaking us out, a guy uses his dead dad to bowl a perfect 300 game, more people getting arrested for the capitol riot, rest in power Shock G! *Should teachers be allowed to take their students to strip clubs? We think so. *Quit making fun of Zac Efron! He's never done anything to you and he's a human being. *Lazlo thinks pharmacy employees are probably skimming pills off the top and he wants to find them. *Why are elected officials still talking about Cardi B? Don't they have more important things to do? *The votes are in and people like Julia. *A guy in Japan is in legal trouble for having 35 girlfriends and convincing them to buy him birthday gifts. How is that illegal? *Do you say these things wrong? We'll tell you how to say them correctly but it's up to you. *Have a great weekend! We'll be thinking about you every minute of the day until we get back. Chat with us on twitter and instagram @churchoflazlo *Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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Guys, please don't act like A-Rod during a break up. You can't take these moments back. *Women share some of the strangest things they've done for a guy and some of it borders on uncool. *Doomscrolling! Let's try to discuss some good news today! We're ahead of schedule with the vaccines, witches can now un-curse your money, and everybody is getting rich off Dogecoin! (except Lazlo) *We finally have an actual study that shows how many of us send naked pics and what type of naked pics we prefer to send. *We all know Slimfast was the poor friend growing up but who among us was the rich friend? *The top things we just don't understand. Julia has her first "pickle moment" on the show! *If you drink coffee and listen to rap music, you'll be a better driver. It's science. *Have a great day! Can't wait to catch up tomorrow!                     -Everbody Wang Chung!! 

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Don't call it a comeback! We were only gone a day! *Lazlo can't stand it when people make slight changes to their appearance. Jeriney is on the receiving end today. *How many followers and views do you need to quit your job? We found an influencer calculator to find out. *Competitive flirting is our new favorite sport! *Doomscrolling! The verdict is in, OJ is happy about the verdict, Asian American hate crimes are still a thing and we just don't get it, another female teacher accused of having sex with a student, how to deal with foul mouthed teens at the park, and losing real money on fake casino games. *It's Wednesday and that means..."Get To Know Us"! Would you date yourself? Would you binge watch your parents' favorite show for $1k? What would you do if you were God for a day? *You ever get drunk and hurt yourself around the house? If not, you must not have any stairs in your place. *The greatest school science project we've ever seen! *We've all seen the red flags to watch out for when dating but what about friendship red flags? *What time of day do you have sex? Depending on your age, there is a perfect time you should be aiming for. *Ever received an unsolicited sex pic? How do you respond? *That's all for today! Don't forget to call your mom and follow us on social @churchoflazlo -Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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Yo! If you're not competitive, you're not living! *An American Idol hopeful forgot the lyrics to the song his was singing and then he cried on TV. This is what we're looking for in American Idol. *Doomscrolling! It really is getting impossible to keep all the shootings straight. The video of the airplane making an emergency landing on the beach is one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time. Jesus loves QAnon, the oldest living American just got younger, your Tesla's on fire bro. *Nick is on the show and he's ready to take on Jake Paul! *There are four main types of drunks. Which one are you? *Morrissey is angry with The Simpsons. *Work perks we'd like to see. *You're older than you think. *Have a great night! It's a thousand degrees in here again. I gotta get out of here. Follow us on social @churchoflazlo and Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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Just our opinion but we don't think it's a good idea to get drunk and perform plastic surgery on your friends just because you watched a YouTube tutorial. *Goop just put out their mothers day gift guide and sex toys are on the list. *Doomscrolling! Another mass shooting. This time at a FedEx warehouse. Need a job? America has a ton of unfilled positions. If you went to Fyre Fest, you might be getting a nice check in the mail. Britney Spears is the celeb we trust! She told us to get vaccinated and the people listened. *Time to read a few confessions from our Instagram. *Jeffree Star was in an accident! *This might be the most tense conversation we've ever had. We were walking on eggshells. *Slimfast is a Country Psychic! *What would you do if you found out you had a teenage kid you'd never met? *Thanks for hanging out this week! Hope to see you next week and I want you to have a great weekend! Everybody Wang Chung!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXu6QmxpJE

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