Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Welcome to the podcast! It's Wednesday and we're ready to get started! *Julia broke into a house last night. Something about a dog and a salad but you'll just have to listen. Lazlo has to break into his own car all the time, except when his car is missing from his driveway. *Hostile Sexism vs Benevolent Sexism. Do you know the difference? Here's an easy way to remember, if you think you're being nice then it's probably benevolent and if you're being a jerk then it's hostile. *Headlines! Everyone wants the vaccine (except the crazy facebook moms) but when can you get it? Looks like the impeachment is gonna be tough because the republicans would like to "move on". Paris Hilton finally found someone worth getting IVF with. Slimfast tries to explain the crazy reddit/GameStop story that's dominating the news today. *It's Wednesday and that means it's time we get to know each other a little better. *Are you a nostalgic person? What are you nostalgic for now and what do you think you'll be nostalgic for in the future? Jeriney might have the strangest answer to these questions. (Sorry Jeriney. You know I love ya) *Florida man gets his car towed so he steals a tow truck to get revenge. When have you gotten revenge? Trust me, this segment ended up being the highlight of my week. *The Brits hate a lot of things about America but they do admit to loving a few things too. *Thanks for listening! If you know anyone in jail/prison, put some money in their commissary. It's like the only thing they have to look forward to and I'll bet it would make their day if you surprised them. -Everybody Wang Chung!

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Someone got in trouble with the law last night...*Who do you hate for no good reason? *Forced Monkey Labor is the best headline you'll hear about all week. *Slimfast thinks multiple divorces is a sign of optimism but Lazlo disagrees. *Are you going to miss anything about COVID life? 

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We're back! It's Monday and our key cards to get into the building still worked today! *KC and Tampa are the last two teams standing and Lazlo predicted it. *Sports can bring out the worst in people. Let's discuss the official list of things that make people act like a#*^oles. *Headlines! Let's play a game today. Did Slimfast read past the headline? *The text line is pointing out that Julia's voice sounds familiar. *Nick Wright is on the show and he's in a great mood....mostly. *Julia wants to know who and when an actor/actress looked beyond perfect. *About once a year, Slimfast starts talking about Ryan Gosling and it always ends in an uncomfortable place. *Billie Eilish has no idea what things cost but that's okay, neither does Lazlo. *Feels good to be back! Hopefully the sound quality is better today. If not, send all complaints to Slimfast. 

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Second time's a charm? Last time I tried this, only 30% of the podcast uploaded. Is it just gonna be one of those weekends? Nah! We got this. *We cover a lot of topics like sex robots, underground stripper parties, and stealing $1million dollars from a single neighborhood grocery store. But an admission from someone on the show today left us all shocked and disorientated. How could a story about paperback books and a stormwater drain deal such a mental grievous blow? Liste and find out. Have a great weekend and don't forget.........Everybody Wang Chung!!

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It's Friday and and everyone is in a great mood! We cover a lot of topics like sex robots, underground stripper parties, and stealing $1 million dollars from a single neighborhood grocery store. But an admission from someone on the show today left us all shocked and disorientated. How could a story about paperback books and a neighborhood stormwater drain deal such a mental grievous blow? Listen and find out. Have a great weekend and don't forget......Everybody Wang Chung!

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It's Thursday and I'm racing against the clock! My laptop is at 1% and if I don't get this posted before it dies then it'll be another hour before it goes up! *Kids are stupid. *Headlines are full of news! *Julia learns a few things about Lazlo. *Would you rather take relationship advice from someone who's been in one long-term relationship or someone who's been in fifty? *The lottery pact. *Lazlo thinks his neighbor is hot! *I think we made it...Everybody wang ch

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Pls send feet pics. *It's Wednesday and Biden is officially POTUS! *We got our first letter from a Texas prison! This is a great sign! Oh, and Jeriney apparently responds to those letters. And dates their authors. *Headlines! Trump says he'll be back, Lil Wayne got a pardon, and the guy who purposely ruined 500+ doses of the COVID vaccine is in less trouble than a jaywalker. *Nick Wright is on the show! Time to recap last weekend's playoffs and preview the championship games coming up this weekend! Julia is trying to get used to the vulgarity of the text line. *It's Wednesday and that means...GTK!! (Get To Know Us!) *There, that felt good didn't it? I can't wait to see you tomorrow! Mmmmmmmwah! -Everybody Wang Chung! 

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We're back and there's a new face at the bar! Say hello to Julia as she joins the show from her studio in Detroit. Speaking of Detroit, we're on in Detroit now! This means Slimfast can make jokes about Lazlo's mom and she will be able to hear it! This changes everything. Also, we break the news to Lazlo that his hero is (Ben Affleck) is having a bad week. *Everyone thinks about disappearing sometimes and starting over. What's your plan? *Headlines! DC is on lockdown and the military is kicking out soldiers who spend their free time target practicing with their militia buddies. Pelosi's laptop was found and the girl who stole it arrested. It's COVID's birthday in America. They grow up so fast. Joe Exotic is expecting a pardon from Trump any minute now. A maskless Karen is arrested and the video is the best thing you'll see all week. *Lazlo is mad and Slim and Nick for not taking his health scare seriously. *What's the craziest thing you ever saw at a sleepover? *What's stressing you out? You doing okay? *Lazlo is fed up with people trying to sell marijuana as a miracle plant. Just tell people you want to get high! Stop beating around the bush. *Good to be back! Let's catch up tomorrow around 2:00. Everybody Wang Chung!! 

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It's Friday! Do you know what that means?? That's right, it's the weekend. I always knew you were smart. You knew all your shapes and colors before any of the other kids in class. Anyway, do you get excited about the weekend or did that go away after high school? Well we're gonna tell you how to Make Your Weekends Great Again! (trademark pending) (or is it a copyright? whatever, it's pending) If you're still not excited, maybe it's time to talk to a doctor. We discuss that as well. *Headlines! Lots going on in the news but I think you're gonna learn something new today. We sure did. Did you know that grease thefts are on the rise? Yeah. Grease thefts. They've gotten so bad that some cities now have "Grease Police". How awesome would that show be? The main detective is an expert about grease and at tracking grease thieves. She and her partner can only eat at certain fast food joints because the grease cop is real fussy about her French fries. I'd watch that. *NFL playoffs this weekend and Nick Wright is on the show to give us all the scoops and let you in on his bet of the week. Thanks for hanging out today. Don't worry about the tab, this round is on us. You can buy next week. Have a great weekend. Call your mom and dad. They miss you. -Everybody Wang Chung!

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People around the world are struggling because of the pandemic but Lazlo is doing great! He just bought a new car!! *Armie Hammer is having a hell of a week. *Headlines! Trump gave a speech from his office and he says he hates violence. We just doubled our vaccine supply! A business owner pulls a gun on someone for wearing a mask. *Sea shanties are all the rage on Tik Tok and Slimfast doesn't want to miss out. *Teachers are taping up kids, spraying kids with Lysol, and ranting about ANTIFA. At least one of those things will get you fired. *A guy gets high on his first day of work, asasults a co-worker, and takes his pants off. This is a good time for Lazlo to give his speech about weird drugs. *A police dept uses COVID relief money to buy a robot dog. *Here's the list of the biggest wastes of money and we like them all. *That's all for this program. We'll see you right back here tomorrow, same time and place. -Everybody Wang Chung!

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