Church of Lazlo Podcasts

*Girls like football? My apologies. *Ever use balls to work out? No, not those.... *Headlines! Don't fly commcerial after you just tested positive for COVID, please. CDC says winter is coming. Elsa from Frozen is real excited about the holidays. Want to get vaccinated for COVID? Hope you know someone in organized crime. *Are the Goo Goo Dolls classic rock or just old? *Drew Barrymore has a talk show? Slimfast hasn't seen the first Poison Ivy!?!? *What is it with mayors and smoking crack? *Did you know that girls from Detroit sound like the cast of Clueless? *Slimfast had a great idea for an invention but Lazlo gets stuck on a detail from Slim's story about childhood. *Alright kids, turns out you're phones are bad for you. Worrying about your phone being bad for you is bad for you though. Got that? *That's all for today. Good talk. One more show this week. Looking forward to it. Have a great day. Everybody wang chung!

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*We've all been out of school for twenty years or more but we can't stop talking about how much we hated it. *The best and worst cities in the U.S. for single people. *Headlines! The vaccine has been approved! (in the UK) Slimfast found a feel-good story and he can't find a single aspect to complain about. Can Lazlo? *It's that time of year! Best of 2020 lists are here! *Lazlo must issue a heartfelt apology on the air. Bonus points if it's "tearful". *It's that time of the week! Let's play "Get To Know Us" *We end the show chatting about our neighborhood drama and the end of in-person Christmas shopping. Thanks for topping by. Stay safe, be nice, and everybody wang chung!

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*The government is banning sex? It's not happening here but it's happening in the UK! *A tiny Russian female MMA beat up a giant male MMA fighter. Does Lazlo think he can take this chick? *Headlines! Hannity says it's time for Trump to pardon himself before he leaves the White House. Can he do that? The mysterious monolith in Utah is gone and now it's in Romania....and now it's not in Romania? *Saved By The Bell apologizes for talking about Selena Gomez.*Lazlo responds to an email from a married man who's wife has an OnlyFans. *Have you seen the Tik Tok stalker video? Might be the scariest video of the year. *Celebrity couples! Which ones will make it? *That's all folks! Have a great day! Everybody Wang Chung!!  

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The long weekend is over and we have returned! Slimfast wants to sue a major corporation and Lazlo got c*#~ blocked by an old co-worker. *Lazlo has a thing for flight attendants and Slimfast found a story that's sure to pique Lazlo's interests. *Headlines! Trump still says he won. A mother is shot at her own son's funeral. George Clooney cuts his hair with a vacuum. The mysterious alien sculpture in Utah has disapeared. *Nick Wright is on the show and he has some bold predictions about Tom Brady. *2020's list of sexiest accents has arrived! *They say "love your job and you'll never work a day in your life" but what if jobs just ruin the things you love? Have a great day! Can't wait to chat again soon. Everybody wang chung!  

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*Oh hi there! How was your weekend? Do you like hot tuna? How about breakfast for dinner? *How much money would you pay for normal pre-COVID day? Survey says.....about $300? *Headlines! You want the good news or the bad news first? Good news? Americans could start getting vaccinated before Christmas. The bad news.......Christmas is canceled. *Nick Wright is on the the show and he's here to remind you that Tom Brady stinks. *Ever heard of the shopping cart theory? Every single american agrees with it except Lazlo. *A guy goes to the doctor becuase he's depressed about his failing marriage. His doctor responds by sleeping with his wife. Guy sues doctor. *That was a lot of fun! Let's do this a couple more times before the holiday. Sound good?

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*Wow, things got weird today. Shortly after headlines, the discussion devolved into heretofore uncharted territories. If you don't like thinking about your parents fornicating, this episode may not be for you. We also ask what you would do if someone dropped a baby off at your door. To lighten things up, we end the show talking about all the hot guys we want to sleep with. Have a great night. Let's clean things up tomorrow. 

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*Let me guess, you scrolled through everything else in your library and either didn't see anything new or just didn't like any of the topics/guests on your favorite podcasts so you came crawling back. That's okay. We're fine with that. If you're here because you love us, all the better! *A guy took LSD and beat up an emplyee at Disney World. Would that be considered a good trip or a bad trip? *The cops showed up and Slimfast's house but not for why you'd think. Actually, it might be exactly why you'd think. Strap in because this one is a doozy. *Headlines! Are Trump scandals even a thing anymore or do we all have Trump fatigue? COVID is kicking America's ass but that won't stop the cruise lines! I thought the media was done with Karens but "California Karen" made quite the internet splash this week. A coffin maker literally watched millions of dollars crash into his home. Now he's wealthy and retired. A 93-year-old man loses his wedding ring but a good samaritan with a metal detector saves the day! *Make Company Holiday Parties Great Again! *A girl on Tik Tok shares a little trick to find out if your man is cheating. But is having an OnlyFans account really cheating? *It's Wednesday and that means it's time to Get To Know Us! *Lazlo is gonna help you get hard. Like the movie. He's gonna help you get ready for prison. Sorry, that sounded weird. *Have a great day and join us again at 2pm, won't you? -Everybody Wang Chung!

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*Is it just us or is health insurance getting worse and worse? Slimfast is starting to get depressed from the lack of stuff to do in this pandemic. What's gonna happen with public schools? Are kids staying home for another year? *Headlines! Fauci testifies today. Trump says he wasn't kidding about asking people to test less for COVID. A NJ family dies in their pool. Seattle says it's time to take back "Chaz" or whatever it's called. Ron Jeremy is facing some serious charges. *Road Rage Karen is the latest Karen sensation but is it real? *Have a great night! Anyone have a hacky sack Slimfast can borrow?

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*Welcome back! How was your weekend? Chris D'Elia getting canceled is one thing, but does that mean we have to cancel every single show or movie he was in? *Headlines! Trump had his rally on Saturday and said he ordered people to stop testing for COVID so often and he said he wants flag burners to do a year in jail. Lots of white people being racist across the country and getting caught on camera. Someone bought Kurt Cobain's Unplugged guitar for a-lot-o-money. *Slimfast got a birthday present from his brother and Lazlo is trying to steal it. *Have a great night! Anyone wanna meet up and play Randonautical together? 

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