Clarity on Fire

One of Kristen's clients came to her recently in a bit of a frenzy, saying:

"I have SO many things that need work — my career, my marriage, my health, my friendships — and they're ALL important. How do I pick one thing to focus on? And what if it takes forever and then the other things start to suffer even more?? Or I miss out on opportunities because I was too fixated on one thing?!"

If just reading that gave you anxiety, take a deep breath. 😮‍💨

And then listen in to this brand-new Side Chat, because we're diving into how to spend your time and make good choices, especially when everything feels urgent and you're pressed for time.

We're talking about…

• The two ways to think about time — one will amp up your anxiety, the other will decrease it,
• How to know for sure the right order in which to tackle your life's biggest to-dos and conundrums,
• How to make it feel like you've got more time to do what matters to you.

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how this one resonated with you!

WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT WASTING TIME?

That's what coaching is for!

It takes YEARS (if not decades) of doubt, confusion, and untapped potential and transforms it into confidence, clarity, and fulfillment … in a matter of months.

If now is the right time for you to figure out where you're going with your life and career (and then have someone help you actually DO IT), then we're here to remind you that we're taking on clients NOW!

• Instead of taking on clients whenever, we accept applications a few times per year, in waves.
• We're only taking on about 10 people this time! If you're seriously considering 1:1 coaching, fill out the "sign me up" form on this page and one of us will be in touch to talk about it.
• This is for people interested in getting started ASAP (in September/October).
• We're offering both 3-month and 6-months options. We'll walk you through the difference when we have an intro call with you.
• You don't have to be 100% certain that this is right for you — but serious enough to want to discuss it.

Fill out the application here and one of us will be in touch ASAP to schedule a chat with you!

We're excited to work with some of you more officially!

LINKS

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Have you ever felt so distraught about your life that you had no other option than to don a sweatshirt, throw the hood up, cinch it tight, and lie on the floor and proceed to sob uncontrollably?

I call it The Hood of Despair. Try it out sometime! I highly recommend it. 🙃

My former client Tiffanie is well-acquainted with THOD, which is why I invited her to be this month's "interview with a normal person" – I wanted her to share how she went from a real low point in life to being, and I quote, "happier than I thought it was possible to be."

Listen in as Tiffanie and I get into:

• Taking a big risk that ended badly and landed her back where she started
• How she used what she knew she didn't want to fuel getting clear on what she did want
• Why it became easy for her to stop comparing herself to other people
• What she learned that passion and fulfillment are, and what they aren't
• Why she's happier now that she thought she ever could be

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how Tiffanie's journey resonated with you!

MORE ABOUT TIFFANIE

Tiffanie has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, a huge heart to help others, and an insatiable curiosity about the world around her, where she has already traveled over 30 states and 15 countries. At first glance, you would never guess that she is chainsaw certified, which allowed her to restore the habitat for a threatened species of ornate box turtle in Iowa and reopen a youth camp in Michigan. After completing over 1,700 hours of service helping communities with disaster relief and unmet needs, Tiffanie came home lost about what direction to go next.

After stumbling upon the Passion Profile Quiz and listening to the Clarity on Fire podcast everyday, she sought out Rachel's help to figure out what was next. After identifying the roadblocks in her path and the values that were important to her, Tiffanie finally figured out how to tie in her passion with her career and create a fulfilling life that is aligned with the Universe. She is in constant awe of the Universe's plans and how they unfold – are you ready to trust the Universe too?

Connect with Tiffanie on LinkedIn.

WANT TO WORK WITH US?

It's almost time for our next round of coaching enrollment – that small window, a few times per year, when take on new coaching clients!

We'll be accepting applications starting next Friday, September 16!

You're the right person to work with us if:

🔥 You know that getting a better job (or partner, or more money, or whatever) isn't going to turn you into a brand-new person…

🔥 BUT, you believe that becoming a brand-new version of yourself will get you a better career (or partner, or more money, or whatever).

🔥 And, you're done with figuring things out on your own – If you knew how to solve all of your problems, you'd have done it already!

🔥 AND you want some serious accountability – an expert to guide you through the changes you need to make and make SURE it actually sticks.

If you're nodding along, then check out all the details about 1:1 coaching here, so you're ready when we open enrollment next Friday!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Magic 8-Ball: Why career coaching has (almost) nothing to do with your career (October 2020)

Side Chat: 6 ways to love (and keep) your job for years and years (May 2022)

Side Chat: How to tell if you have career trauma (November 2021)

LINKS

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Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

This month we answered questions from:

• Coach Curious, who's attracted to the possibility of becoming a coach (like some of you might be, if you've been following us for a while!), and wants to know what makes for a good coach? What kind of training is best? What are the pros and cons?

• Sarah, a woman in her 40s who's in a committed relationship, but is reluctant to tie the knot. How do you know if someone is your forever person? What if there's someone better out there?

• Bozzieboo, a 57-year-old woman struggling to bounce back after a series of major emotional hits. She stepped away from the workforce for a while, and now wonders whether it's worth it to start over at this stage of life.

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you!

PSST … WANT TO WORK WITH US?

It's almost time for our next round of coaching enrollment – that small window, a few times per year, when we accept applications for new coaching clients!

We LOVE working with people who understand this one big truth:

Getting a better job (or partner, or more money, or whatever you most want) isn't going to turn you into a brand-new person. But becoming a brand-new version of yourself will get you a better job (or partner, or more money, or whatever).

If that's what you want, and you don't want to figure out how to become that person on your own, then check out all the details about 1:1 coaching here, so you're ready when we open enrollment in a couple weeks.

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Renovating every area of your life in a year with Rachel (August 2022)

Magic 8-Ball: Why career coaching has (almost) nothing to do with your career (October 2020)

Therapy vs. Coaching with Sarah Rossmiller, LPC (November 2018)

Refuse to choose with Rachel Lowe (April 2020)

LINKS

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Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

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Need a little clarity, guidance, or just a fun pick-me-up?

Then today's your day, because we're back with another Message from the Universe episode! 🔮

Today we pulled a few cards from The Enchanted Map deck by Colette Baron-Reid. One or all has a message for you — come find out what it is!

We also started out this episode with a wild story a listener submitted after hearing our last Message from the Universe episode. Thanks to everyone who shared their stories with us! It's SO fun to hear how the Universe has showed up for you lately.

If you've got a good one to share, we'd love to hear (and maybe share it in a future Message from the Universe episode)! Email us at [email protected], subject line "Universe," with your stories. ✨

Check out the cards and written descriptions here. And after you listen, leave a comment to share how this one spoke to you!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Message from the Universe: Can you see how far you've come? (June 2022)

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver (November 2018)

A deep dive into manifestation with Chelsea Jewel (March 2022)

Bonus Book Club! The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (August 2018)

Bonus Book Club! E-Squared by Pam Grout (January 2020)

LINKS

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A couple months ago, we told you the best way to successfully make it out of your comfort zone is with a slow-and-steady approach.

Annnd because we love to contradict ourselves (but not really, because didn't someone say once that the best way to understand life is through paradox? 🙃), now we're going to tell you the exact opposite … and somehow, both are still true!

In this month's Side Chat, we're making a case for why sometimes the best way to get unstuck is by giving yourself permission to do something big and crazy.

Listen in as we get into…

• What counts as "crazy,"
• Why allowing your imagination to go to a wild place often unblocks you,
• Ideas we and our clients have had that definitely count as a little nuts,
• And a homework assignment to help you get your ideas churning.

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share your "crazy" ideas — we'd love to hear them!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Dear Krachel: What if it's not practical to do what you love? (March 2022)

Side Chat: How to successfully get out of your comfort zone (June 2022)

Ending up back where you started with Kristen Kalp (June 2021)

Renovating every area of your life in a year with Rachel (August 2022)

Rachel Rants: You can't make the wrong decision! (January 2020)

LINKS

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A year ago, on my birthday, I did something I'm prouder of than almost anything I've ever done: I published my own solo podcast!

Forever Alone: One introverted millennial's half-agonizing, half-hopeful journey through singledom.

It's like a memoir, in audio form. But people tell me it feels less like non-fiction and more like listening to a novel. Whether you're single or not, it'll resonate with you if you're someone who's been hoping for something for a long time that you haven't gotten (and if your heart and spirit are a little bruised from the effort of trying).

So, in honor of Forever Alone's one-year anniversary, I'm letting Kristen interview me again (we did one last year, too!) about everything that's happened since then. And oh boy … is it a doozy.

We got into…

• What happened after I left off at the end of Chapter 7, when I went to the UK (in search of a Scottish husband),
• My house flooding, moving back in with my parents, and deciding to get on Bumble for the first time,
• How I managed to survive 3 areas of my life (home, career, and relationships) getting renovated, figuratively and literally, all at once,
• A peek into the dates I've been on, including that time I went out on 3 dates with 2 guys in 1 day (if you're wondering who I've become, I'm wondering, too!!),
• And a BIG revelation: The 5 things you need in order to have true compatibility with someone (single people, take notes during this part!).

I'd love for you to leave a comment after you've listened to share how this landed with you – especially the part about compatibility.

If you haven't listened to Forever Alone, start with Chapter 1!

Search for and subscribe to "Forever Alone" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, Amazon, and YouTube, then hit me up with a 5-star rating and review, of course.

LAST DAY TO ENROLL IN GETTING OVER PEOPLE PLEASING!

Today, Friday the 12th, is the LAST day to enroll in Getting Over People Pleasing!

We don't know when we'll run this course again! It's been 2 years between this time and last time. So if you're interested in kicking this habit to the curb, then now is your shot!

Here are some quick FAQs if you're on the fence and need help deciding if this is right for you:

How do you get the content?

In short videos released weekly, for four weeks. You'll listen to a lesson, then be prompted to do some exercises in your workbook. The first lesson drops tomorrow, August 15th!

How much of a time commitment is it?

Probably 3-ish hours per week. And though we'll be releasing content weekly, you can go slower if you need to. You have forever access to the course, so take your time!

How do we interact with you two (Kristen and Rachel)?

There's a private community page where course members can connect with each other, ask questions, share their experiences, and get responses directly from us. This is where the daily conversation about the content will be happening.

When does the course actually start?

You'll get your first official lesson tomorrow, Monday, August 15th, and the next 3 lessons on the Mondays after that. But again, you can go at your own pace.

Is this course always available?

Nope. We don't know if/when we'll run this course again! If August isn't a good time, then you can always enroll now and start when the time is right for you, because you have access to the content forever.

All the details, including a summary of what each lesson covers, is here.

We hope to see some of you in there!

LINKS

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

This month we answered questions from:

• Bummed Entrepreneur, who worked her buns off for years to build a successful business. She has a great business partner, a staff, and more growth than she expected—and she's "miserably numb." She woke up one day and just … didn't care, and nothing (not a vacation, not therapy) is changing how she feels. Why is she so bummed after getting everything she asked for?

• Angelica, who worked hard (both on herself as a person, and on her career) to land a true dream job that she LOVES. But she finds herself bumping up against a fear that won't go away—that maybe it's not possible to have both a dream career AND a dream relationship. How can she let go of the idea that she can't have both?

• A Quitter with Qualms, who's super disengaged and is seriously considering up and quitting with no notice. But is that wrong, and should she feel guilty?

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you!

ENROLLMENT FOR GETTING OVER PEOPLE PLEASING IS OPEN! – EARLY BIRDS SAVE $300 TIL MONDAY!

Raise your hand if this sounds like you:

🙋‍♀️ You know you shouldn't care what people think … but you still do. 😬 You wish you could speak up … but the thought of confrontation makes you clammy. 🙋‍♀️ You're hard on yourself, almost all the time … especially when you catch yourself people-pleasing, yet again. 😬 You wish you knew where you stopped … and everyone else began.

You might be scared, but you're willing to make a change. And you know that, without some accountability, change is a LOT LESS likely to happen.

Your life doesn't have to belong to everyone but you.

We created Getting Over People Pleasing to help set you FREE

Here's a preview of what we're diving into over this 4-week experience:

• Intro: Discover how your personality type contributes to people-pleasing problems, and get clear on which type of people-pleaser you are.

• Lesson 1: Explore the childhood wounds that keep you stuck, and finally let them go.

• Lesson 2: Learn how to weather the discomfort (and actually make peace with the idea) of not pleasing people.

• Lesson 3: Become an independent person — someone who knows where the line is between themselves and everyone else, and who can set boundaries, say no, and handle confrontation.

• Lesson 4: Build healthy relationships — become someone who can be their own person while maintaining solid connections with others. Learn to speak up, put yourself out there, and take imperfect action.

Plus, you'll get to ask questions and get answers from us in our private forum, and connect with other recovering people pleasers going through this experience with you!

Early birds save $300 until Monday!

Join us now if you don't want to miss out on the early bird rate, and you want a chance to add on a single coaching session before we run out!

Sign up here.

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Dear Krachel: I'm burned out and afraid NO job can reignite my passion! (July 2022)

Side Chat: What to do when you're tired of being tired (July 2022)

Side Chat: The dread of good things (June 2020)

Blog: Why you don't need to feel guilty about quitting your job (April 2019)

LINKS

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Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

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Check out our YouTube channel

A lot of you are people pleasers, and you know it. You cycle through the greatest hits every day! 🤘

🎶 Avoiding conflict

🎤 Saying yes to everything, when you want to say no

🎸 Not setting boundaries

🥁 Refusing to speak up

They're classics for a reason! But there's so much more to people pleasing than the popular stuff — there are deep cuts, too. Stuff you probably haven't heard about, because it's kind of underground, man. 🙃

In this BONUS Side Chat, we got into 5 surprising (or maybe uncomfortable, depending on how it makes you feel!) things you might not know about people pleasing.

Listen in as we talk about why…

• Feeling guilty is actually a VERY good sign,
• People pleasers are magnets for energy vampires,
• Perfectionists are almost always people pleasers, even if they'd deny it,
• People pleasers secretly struggle with a certain kind of narcissism (this one'll make you sweat),
• And more!

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share your reaction to this one!

GETTING OVER PEOPLE PLEASING — COMING AUGUST 5!

A four-week course for people-pleasers, perfectionists, and anyone who wants to stop caring so much about what others think.

Get on the VIP list for more info (and a BIG early bird discount) when we open enrollment for Getting Over People Pleasing next week!

• We haven't run this course in 2 years, and we have no idea if/when we will again. So consider it a one-time thing!
• It will last for about 4 weeks, and during that time you'll get short weekly video lessons and workbook prompts.
• There will be a forum so that you, and the other members of the group, can ask us questions and share your stories.
• This course is for people who want to bridge the gap between knowing what they should be doing, and actually doing it.
• Consider this course a fun-yet-challenging boot camp of sorts! We're going to help you heal some old wounds that keep you trapped in the need to please and get desensitized to the discomfort of things like setting boundaries, saying no, and speaking up for yourself.
• This course will be action-oriented. Yes, there will be some teaching, but everything we teach is going to be actionable. And we're going to hold you accountable for taking that action!
• By the end, we know you'll feel a LOT freer, calmer, more confident, and resilient.

If you haven't joined our VIP list yet, please do! There will be goodies for people who are on that list when we launch the course.

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Side Chat: The 3 types of people pleasers (& why you might unknowingly be one) (July 2019)

Bonus Book Club: Dodging Energy Vampires (May 2019)

The 1 thing you WON'T hear us talk about in Getting Over People Pleasing (August 2019)

LINKS

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Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

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There's not much worse than wanting your life and relationships to change — to deeply thrive — and not seeing or understanding why you can't seem to get there.

One of the silent causes behind SO many relationship woes (romantic, of course, but ALL of them, including the ones you have at work and with work) is your attachment style.

Never heard of it? Well, you need to! And we happen to have the person to teach you all about it.

On this month's interview with an expert, we talked to therapist Shira Myrow about the nuances of attachment. Listen in as we explore…

• What exactly attachment is, and how to tell if your style is healthy or unhealthy,
• Examples of how to identify unhealthy attachment in your life and relationships,
• Ways to regulate and overcome the unhealthy patterns that keep you stuck,
• Some surprising facts about how the brain works that had us reeling!

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how Shira's take on attachment resonated with you!

MORE ABOUT SHIRA

Shira is a mindfulness-based psychotherapist and relationship expert who is deeply committed to helping people heal from traumatic experiences and turning dysfunctional relationships into secure ones.

Shira's hybrid approach includes the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy which focuses on empowering couples and individuals to learn how to attune with their emotions, unhook from perpetual conflict patterns and create a clear road map for resilient relationships. Shira also has a special focus on treating attachment disorders for adult children of severely mentally ill parents.

Shira is also a writer, podcast host, educator and speaker. She has been a Ted X speaker and TED Women Leadership presenter and has been a featured writer in Goop and a guest on multiple outlets and publications.

You can find her at Shira Myrow Therapy and on Instagram @shiramyrow_mft

GETTING OVER PEOPLE PLEASING — COMING AUGUST 5!

A four-week course for people-pleasers, perfectionists, and anyone who wants to stop caring so much about what others think.

Get on the VIP list for more info when we open enrollment for Getting Over People Pleasing on August 5th!

• We haven't run this course in 2 years, and we have no idea if/when we will again. So consider it a one-time thing!
• It will last for about 4 weeks, and during that time you'll get short weekly video lessons and workbook prompts.
• There will be a forum so that you, and the other members of the group, can ask us questions and share your stories.
• This course is for people who want to bridge the gap between knowing what they should be doing, and actually doing it.
• Consider this course a fun-yet-challenging boot camp of sorts! We're going to help you heal some old wounds that keep you trapped in the need to please and get desensitized to the discomfort of things like setting boundaries, saying no, and speaking up for yourself.
• This course will be action-oriented. Yes, there will be some teaching, but everything we teach is going to be actionable. And we're going to hold you accountable for taking that action!
• By the end, we know you'll feel a LOT freer, calmer, more confident, and resilient.

If you haven't joined our VIP list yet, please do! There will be goodies for people who are on that list when we launch the course.

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Join our Patreon community

Check out our YouTube channel

Are you a wee bit tired? Burned out? Exhausted to your core? Weary to the marrow of your being?

🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

It's OK if the world feels like a lot. It IS a lot, and has been for a long time (I mean, we're all still pandemic fatigued, on top of … gestures wildly to everything else). Big, big things — planetary, global, national — have a personal impact on us, even though we, individually, don't have much control over any of it. And that lack of control is bound to be exhausting.

The only thing we do have some modicum of influence over is our lives. But we've noticed a pretty big problem lately. It's showing up in MANY of our clients, and it's time to call it out.

A lot of us are tired because we're actively avoiding opportunities to make our own lives better. Worse, we're actually enabling a lot of the suffering we're experiencing, particularly at work. So, in this month's Side Chat we got into:

• Why so many of us are convinced we can't make shitty work situations better,
• How people-pleasing plays a HUGE part in letting the system take advantage of us,
• Examples of clients who were suffering under the weight of toxic environments, and how we helped them stop gaslighting themselves and get what they deserved,
• Why being a rebel is the sanest, healthiest thing you could possibly do.

If you're tired, burned out, overwhelmed, apathetic, panicked, stressed, mojo-less, or stretched to your breaking point, this one is a MUST-LISTEN!

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share what you're going to change to make your work life healthier.

GETTING OVER PEOPLE PLEASING — COMING IN AUGUST!

A four-week course for people-pleasers, perfectionists, and anyone who wants to stop caring so much about what others think.

Get on the VIP list for more info when we open enrollment for Getting Over People Pleasing in August!

• We haven't run this course in 2 years, and we have no idea if/when we will again. So consider it a one-time thing!
• It will last for about 4 weeks, and during that time you'll get short weekly video lessons and workbook prompts.
• There will be a forum so that you, and the other members of the group, can ask us questions and share your stories.
• This course is for people who want to bridge the gap between knowing what they should be doing, and actually doing it.
• Consider this course a fun-yet-challenging boot camp of sorts! We're going to help you heal some old wounds that keep you trapped in the need to please and get desensitized to the discomfort of things like setting boundaries, saying no, and speaking up for yourself.
• This course will be action-oriented. Yes, there will be some teaching, but everything we teach is going to be actionable. And we're going to hold you accountable for taking that action!
• By the end, we know you'll feel a LOT freer, calmer, more confident, and resilient.

If you haven't joined our VIP list yet, please do! There will be goodies for people who are on that list when we launch the course.

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Magic 8-Ball: Masculine vs. Feminine Energy (March 2020)

Side Chat: How to tell if you have career trauma (November 2021)

Dear Krachel: I'm burned out and afraid NO job can reignite my passion! (July 2022)

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Join our Patreon community

Check out our YouTube channel