Clutter And Depression As a Symptom of a Toxic Relationship and as a Symptom of CPTSD After a Toxic Relationship - Are you living in clutter? One of the least-discussed symptoms of CPTSD as a result of a toxic relationship is the way you keep your space - your home and/or office. This can take one of two forms: extreme organization and obsessively clean - or cluttered and disorganized. In both cases, there parallels we can draw to our pasts and our toxic relationships.

But when people are obsessively clean and organized, most people won't see this as a negative issue (unless it gets to the point of OCD, but that is another video). Today, though, we are going to discuss clutter and how it is often a symptom of CPTSD, as well as some solutions you can try to resolve this in your own life.

Let's start by discussing what problematic clutter looks like for those of us who aren't sure if we fall into the "problem" area here.

You feel uncomfortable at home due to clutter

You are told (or you say) that you have "too much stuff"

You feel embarrassed to let people into your house because of clutter

You feel kind of paralyzed and like you cant clean or organize due to all the "stuff" you have

Strong emotional attachments to some of the stuff in the house - certain items or collections

You waste time because of the clutter

You have piles or overstuffed shelves/drawers - maybe even a room you never let anyone in due to clutter

You want to declutter, but you feel like you have trouble deciding what to let go

You get more stuff - you keep shopping - despite the fact that you have no more places to put things

You get so overwhelmed that you rent a storage space to put your clutter into

You have problems at home, work or in relationships caused by cluttering

You have areas in the home that are unusable due to cluttering

You don't really have a "place for everything," therefore you don't always put "everything in its place"

When we are in a toxic relationship, we have no control. Whether the narcissist dictates our cleaning schedule (like my first narcissist did) or they make us feel out of control in other ways (like my ex-husband did), we often find ourselves feeling stuck, lethargic or just plain exhausted during and after these relationships. We keep things for sentimental reasons, for example, or we keep them because we think we will use them one day. We might keep stuff because it helps us feel secure or in control in some way.

The solution isn't going to happen overnight but there are things we can do to change our ways for the better and improve our lives.

You already know that clutter can make you feel stressed and leave you less free time to enjoy your life. We know it can ruin our social lives and cause tons of other issues. But did you know that simple mindfulness can quickly allow you to cut through the clutter (even more than cleaning)?

Practical solutions:

1. Get some help! If you can afford it, pay someone to come over and help you get things organized. Or recruit your kids. Or offer to help a friend declutter their home and in return, ask them to help you declutter yours. It can be very overwhelming and sometimes just having a second set of hands makes all the difference.

2. Take baby steps. I have a free 30-day decluttering program over at Life Makeover Academy - go check that out and sign up. You don't have to do it all in 30 days - but if you take the time to work through the steps when you can, your home will be decluttered by the end of the program.

3. If you’ve always found it too difficult because you think the task is too big, give yourself fifteen minutes a day to focus on the clutter. When you break a task down, you’ll find that it’s easier to do.

If you've personally managed to overcome a clutter habit, share your best tips and tricks in the comments section now!

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