Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care

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Are you planning to adopt or have you recently adopted? If so, you need to listen to this discussion about what to expect during the first few weeks or months you are home! Our guests are Michelle Kennedy and Deborah Artis. Michelle Kennedy has been a social worker with Methodist Home for Children for 27 years. She has direct care experience in residential and foster care services and has been working with youth and families in the foster-to-adopt process since 2005. Deborah Artis is a social worker and the Senior Program Director of foster care, adoption, and post-adoption with Children’s Home Society, where she has worked for 30 years.

In this episode, we cover:
Adopting a Newborn

• What are some common emotions when adopting a newborn?
• What are some common stresses when adopting a newborn?
• How may the revocation period affect the transition to new adoptive parenting?
• Expectations of extended family during this transition period.
• How do the stresses of newly adopted families differ from a family that gives birth to their child?
• How does the pre-adoption process affect this transition to new parenthood?
• What are some feelings that come up about birth parents after the baby comes home?
• Handling grief of the birth family.
• Realities of open adoptions.
• Feeling like the presence of a birth mom makes the adoptive mom less of a “real” mom.
• The balance of power shifting from the expectant/birth mom to the adoptive mom.
• How much of your child’s “story” should you share?
• How can infertility struggles impact the transition period?

Adopting a Child Past Infancy

• What are some common emotions when adopting a child from foster care or through international adoption?
• What are some common stresses when adopting a child past infancy?
• Integrating the new child into a family with other kids.
• How to help your child and you settle into becoming a new family.

Post Adoption Depression

• What is post-adoption depression?
• What are the symptoms?
• Blocked care.
• How can post-adoption depression impact parenting?
• How common is post-adoption depression?
• Can fathers also have post-adoption depression?
• Who is at risk for post-adoption depression? Are there ways to predict which people are more prone to post-adoption depression?
• What are some steps to take to prevent post-adoption depression?
• What should you do if you think you are suffering from post-adoption depression?

Additional Resources:

• 4 Tried and True Tips for a Smooth Transition Home with Adopted Kids
• Transitioning Home with Your Newly Adopted Baby 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I adopted our nephews four months ago. The two boys are sons of my niece; she gave her kids to the Family Department five years ago, and last year, we at last knew about the boys. They've been a year with us. I have a daughter, 21, and a son, 17, who were okay with the adoption, but now they say they feel this is not their home; they don’t feel at peace in their house and think It was not a good idea to adopt, because of the hard situations with the kids. How can we affirm to our biological children that we did the correct thing to give the kids a family and that there is a process we must go through as a family to adapt?

Resources:

• Sibling Relationships
  • Handling Negative Impacts of Adoption on Children Already in the Home
  • Preparing Children Already in the Home for Adoption
  • How Does Adoption Affect Siblings Already in the Home

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do your kids drive you crazy over the holidays? Does their behavior escalate? Join our conversation to learn why and what you can do about it. We will talk with Erin Nasmyth is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master’s in Social Work. She is the co-founder of Adoption Support Alliance, which provides services and support to adoptive families. She has worked in the public and private adoption and foster care system.

In this episode, we cover:

• Is it common to see behavioral changes for the worse during the holiday season?
• What are some of the behaviors you might see that allow our kids to drive us crazy?
• What are some of the stressors that we may not recognize that cause these behaviors? 
  • New things
  • New people
  • Change in routines
  • Parental distraction
  • Past history with holidays
  • Too much of everything-sensory overload
• Practical ideas of how can we make the holidays smoother for our kids and for you
• Ideas on how to get our family onboard for making these changes to our holidays to make it easier for our kids?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: I see that you have information regarding prenatal substance exposure. Is there information regarding biological mothers that hate their pregnancy or their baby, but carry it to full term and put it up for adoption? Are there resources that would address the emotional impact on the baby?

Resources:

• Understanding the Birth Mom/Parent's Experience
• Talking with Kids About Adoption
• Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you wonder if your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? There may be nothing in the files, but something feels not right? We talk about diagnosing and treating these kids with Dr. Larry Burd, a professor of pediatrics at the University of North Dakota School of Medicine and the Director of the North Dakota Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Center.

In this episode, we cover:

• Most of our audience is foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and professionals. Often they don’t know for sure if a child has been exposed. The US government estimates that about 10% of all children in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs. Do you have a feel for the percentage of children in foster care or who have been involved with the child welfare system? International adoption? Domestic infant adoption?
• Does prenatal exposure increase the likelihood of a disruption to a foster or adoptive placement?
• How is prenatal exposure to alcohol detected or diagnosed?
• What type of training do pediatricians receive during their education or residency on prenatal exposure and on how to diagnose?
• Can you tell at birth or in infancy if a baby has been exposed to alcohol in utero?
• How is prenatal exposure to drugs detected or diagnosed?
• How does birth order change the likelihood that a child who is at risk has been exposed during pregnancy?
• What are the long-term impacts of alcohol exposure? What are the symptoms that are most noticeable to parents, teachers, and other professionals working with these children?
• Alcohol exposure affects multiple systems in the body.
• Does it matter what type of alcohol was consumed?
• Who can diagnose a child with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder?
• What are the long-term impacts of the following drugs?
  • Opioids
  • Heroin and Fentanyl
  • Depressants (benzodiazepines, such as Valium, Xanax)-Prescribed and unprescribed
  • Stimulants-Prescribed and unprescribed
  • Methamphetamines
  • Marijuana
  • Tobacco/Nicotine
• Do pediatricians have a body of resources to offer parents regarding raising a child with prenatal exposure?
• Tips for parents.

Tronick's Still Face Experiment

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: I will ultimately decide on whether to try induced lactation to breastfeed an adopted baby on other factors, but I would like to make my decision with my eyes wide open. I like my breasts as they are, but I have been told all my life that pregnancy and breastfeeding change the breasts (making the breasts saggy and the nipples larger). Do adoptive parents who induce lactation suffer from similar issues? I have also heard of mothers who enter a depressive state during breastfeeding. Can you outline any other negative side effects of induced lactation?

Resources:

• Breastfeeding the Adopted Child
• Creating and Cultivating Attachment with Your Adopted Child
• Post Adoption Depression

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Should you adopt a child of a different race? What things should you consider? Join our conversation with Dr. Gina Samuels, an adult transracial adoptee and a Professor at the Crown Family School of Social Work, Policy, and Practice at the University of Chicago. She is also the Faculty Director of the Center for the Study of Race, Politics, and Culture. Her scholarly interests include transracial adoption and mixed-race and multiethnic identity formation. We are honored to have Dr. Samuels as the Chair of the Creating a Family Board.

In this episode, we cover:

• If you are a White parent, are there different issues you need to consider depending on the race of the child you adopt?
• Some families prefer to adopt a bi-racial child rather than a child who is all Black or all Latinx. What are the issues to consider?
• Is there a difference between transracial and transcultural adoption?
• What does it take to raise a child to have a healthy self and racial identity? How do they differ? 
• Unconscious overlap between self and racial identity for White people.
• What are some of the issues parents should think about to determine if they are a family that should adopt across racial or ethnic lines? 
• What should parents be prepared to do in order to help their children develop a healthy sense of self?
• Adoption is a family affair, so how should prospective adoptive parents prepare their extended family members for the adoption of a child of a different race or culture?
• How do you protect your child from family members who may not approve or are racist?
• What to do if you have someone in your family that you fear will not be accepting or will not treat your child fairly or is a racist?
• How do you find role models that racially mirror your child? 
• Politic of transracial adoption in minority communities. 
• What does the research show on how transracially adopted children are doing?
• What issues may come up with open adoption when adopting across racial lines?
• Preparation for transracial adoption goes beyond hair care; hair and skin care are important. What should parents know?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I are nearing finalization of our five-month-old adopted son. We don't currently have any other children. Throughout our time in the adoption process, I have spent time learning about adoption trauma and the complexities of adoption. I want to be well-informed as our son grows up and aware of the difficulties he may face. However, my question is, are there stories of adoptees, especially males, who have experienced emotional health and emotional success in life? I have heard many stories, both about and from, adoptees who have challenges with identity, maladaptive behavior, and experiences with other trauma, which make them at risk for suicide, addiction and depression. Are there any adoptive parents out there who are doing it right, whose adopted kids grow up to be well-adjusted adoptees, emotionally healthy adults who can form good relationships? Is our child doomed for a future of emotional trauma and struggle? I would love to hear their stories and learn from them as well.

Resources:

• Adoptee Voices
• Parenting Adopted Children
• Talking with Kids About Adoption

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Does your child struggle with planning/organizing, time management, and impulse control? Join us for our interview with Dr. Joyce Cooper-Kahn, a clinical child psychologist who specializes in the treatment of children and adolescents with ADHD, executive functioning challenges, and other learning disabilities. She is the author of Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is executive functioning?
• Example of executive functioning skills?
• What is it like for kids, youth, and adults who struggle with executive functioning?
• What is the experience of families with a child/youth with executive functioning difficulties?
• Why do some kids struggle with executive functioning? What other disabilities often occur with this deficit?
• At what age do we usually expect executive functioning skills to start developing?
• Who can diagnose an executive functioning disability, and why is it important to get a diagnosis?
• What can parents do to help kids improve their executive functioning skills or learn to live without them?
  • Use real life to teach
  • Teach rather than punish
  • Collaborate with the child or youth
  • Behavior modification
  • Adjust expectations
• When should you allow your child to experience natural consequences for behavior?
• Practical tools for helping kids plan and organize.
• Practical tools for helping kids shift gears or handle transitions.
• Practical tools for helping kids with working memory challenges.
• Practical tools for helping kids control impulses.

Additional resources:
Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning

Boosting Executive Skills in the Classroom: A Practical Guide for Educators

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My niece has been living with her paternal grandparents for two years. She is now four and they have decided that it is getting too hard for them. We’ve agreed to take her in. She knows us, but we haven’t spent much time with her. What’s the best way to move her to our home that will cause the least psychological damage to her. She is very attached to her grandparents.

Resources:

• Kinship Parenting Resources
• Transitioning a Child to Your Home
• Creating and Cultivating Attachment

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building