Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you want to raise kids who you will like and want to hang out with as adults? Listen to this interview with Dr. Ginsburg, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and professor of pediatrics at U Penn’s Perelman School of Medicine. He is the author of Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond, and the founder of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Definition of Lighthouse Parenting (7 key elements):
  1. Stability
  2. Modeling & Knowing
  3. Communicating
  4. Protecting
  5. Resilience & Thriving
  6. Preparation
  7. Reliability
• Benefits of Lighthouse/Balanced Parenting
• Misunderstanding of attachment/trauma-sensitive parenting as permissive parenting.
• Self-care as the foundation of Lighthouse Parenting, “Stability: Finding Your Footing.” Why start there? Why is self-care critical to being a balanced parent?
• 6 key elements of self-care and examples of how each might look for parents and caregivers who feel they cannot prioritize self-care:
  • Love and friendships
  • Sleep
  • Exercise/Movement
  • Relaxation strategies
  • Express emotions
  • Recognize and reach for support
• Offer 1 or 2 practical tips for parenting with this lifelong bond in mind for parents with: 
  • Elementary-aged kids
  • Tweens and teens
  • Young adults (college or early career age)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I started the adoption process a few months ago and we just matched with an expectant mom. We are obviously excited, but we also know that a lot can happen or change between now and her due date. My question is two fold. (1) Although a lot of people in our life know we are going through the adoption process, who should we tell beyond our immediate families? (2) I am a small business owner. Since we are adopting a baby from another state, I am expecting to be out for at least a couple of weeks and then back at work on a limited schedule as my husband and I share caretaking duties. Internally, my team is already aware and on board with when this will happen, and they will handle client requests on my behalf while I am out. But at what point is it appropriate to share with my clients that this change is taking place? 

Resources:

• Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to Survive
• Signs that an Expectant Woman May Change Her Mind about Placing Her Child for Adoption
• Tips for Coping When Your Domestic Infant Adoption is On Hold

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you suspect (or know) that your child was exposed to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy? We discuss tips for how to best work with these children with Dr. Robin Gurwitch, a professor at Duke University’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and the Center for Child and Family Health.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How does prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs affect children at different ages?
• Oftentimes adoptive, foster and kinship families may not know specifically if their child was exposed in pregnancy to alcohol or drugs? How can a parent determine if their child was prenatally exposed?
• What are some of the more common signs, symptoms, and behaviors a parent might see at different ages?
  • Birth to age five
  • Elementary age
  • Tweens and adolescence
  • Young adults
• Parents, teachers, and other adults working with these children often don’t think about prenatal exposure because of the lag in time between the exposure and when the more disruptive symptoms appear. At what age do you see parents and kids beginning to struggle more?
• What are some of the common misdiagnoses that these children receive?
• How do the attention and focus issues common with kids who have been exposed to alcohol and drugs differ from ADHD? Is ADHD medication effective to improve attention in prenatally exposed kids?
• Is it common for children with prenatal exposure to be uneven in their abilities? For example, average to above average in verbal skills but substantially below average in other areas.
• What do we mean by “executive function” or “higher level thinking skills” and how does prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs impact this?
• We hear from parents that one of the most frustrating symptoms is not being able to learn from their mistakes. Doing the same thing even though they have been told not to. Not learning from cause and effect. Is this common with kids who have been exposed to alcohol and drugs during gestation?
• What are some practical tips for working with kids with prenatal exposure to help them thrive at home and at school?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: Hello, I am a single parent by choice and a hopeful adoptive parent. I've been working with an agency and waiting to be matched for a domestic infant adoption since this summer, and I haven't had much luck. I'm starting to wonder if expectant parents think single parents are not a good choice for their baby. In my profile book, I emphasize my financial stability and support of a network of family and friends, but is that enough? In your experience, do single parents have a harder time being matched? What are the things I should consider as a single parent when trying to match with an expectant parent?

Resources:

• Adopting as a Single Parent
• Understanding the Birth Parent's Experience
• Self-Care for Parents & Caregivers

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering adopting or fostering a child who was exposed prenatally to opioids or opioid-use treatment medication, such as Buprenorphine, methadone, and Suboxone? Are you a grandparent or aunt raising a child who was exposed? Join our discussion with Dr. Jennifer McAllister, the Medical Director of the NOWS Follow-Up Clinic at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center and the Medical Director of the University of Cincinnati Newborn Nursery.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Terminology: What is the difference between opiates and opioids?
• What are the most common opioids being abused?
• What are the common treatment medications/drugs given to those with opioid use disorder? What are the brand names for these medications?
• How do these medications work?
• Are substance-use medications safe to use during pregnancy?
• What are the short- and long-term impacts on infants exposed to opioids?
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to opioid-use medications in pregnancy? Do the impacts differ?
• Does the dosage of opioid-use medications change the impact they have on the baby?
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to fentanyl in pregnancy?
• Is there a safer time for a fetus to be exposed to opioids or opioid-use medications in utero?
• Is it true that if the child is not born experiencing signs of withdrawal or with drugs in their system, the prognosis is better? Or conversely, if the child is born dependent and has to go through withdrawals, they will suffer more impact from in-utero drug exposure?
• How dangerous is drug dependency and withdrawal for the infant?
• How are Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) and Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome (NOWS) treated in babies?
• If a mom is taking opioid-use medications during her pregnancy, is it recommended that she breastfeed the infant to help with withdrawal? 
• How long does withdrawal in an infant born dependent last?
• How do you foster attachment while the baby is experiencing withdrawal?
• You often hear that “early intervention is key” and that a baby’s brain can be rewired during the first couple of years with the right treatments or therapy. What exactly does that therapy entail? What strategies should you be using at home with your child with a diagnosis of prenatal drug exposure?
• When a child has drug exposure and trauma, is it possible to tell the difference in what is causing specific problems, and is the treatment different depending on the cause?
• Are children who are exposed prenatally to any drug, but specifically to opioids, at a greater risk for substance abuse disorder as teens and adults if they were adopted and not raised in an environment that exposed them to drug use?
• What are the most common blood-borne diseases that women who have IV drug use?
• What is the risk to a baby whose mother has HIV or Hepatitis C?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: Can you talk about how being transracially adopted effects how adoptee’s children were raised? Both of my parents were transracially adopted and I don’t feel like there’s anyone else who can share this unique experience and I just want to understand better.

Resources:

• Generational Impacts of Adoption
• Raising a Child Through Transracial Adoption (Resource page)
• Suggested Books for Adults on Transracial Adoption

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do your kids fight? Does it drive you crazy. Join us to learn some helpful tips for handling sibling rivalry and fighting. Our guest is Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and author of several books, including Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why do siblings squabble?
• How is sibling rivalry and sibling fighting a good thing for our kids?
• How to teach sharing?
• What are the warning signs that a sibling fight has gone beyond a useful tool for developing those skills? When do we step in to stop sibling squabbles?
• What’s an effective way for parents to step into these sibling fights? 
• How to handle rivalry based on one child thinking you favor the other?
• What about verbal aggression, name-calling, etc? 
• A struggle common to kids impacted by trauma is a delay in emotional and social skill development. Identifying and managing internal discomfort can be challenging for our kids. Or all feelings are disproportionate to their situation (both bigger and smaller or shut down). 
• Can you speak to what helps kids develop these skills outside the moments of conflict?
• What practical strategies can you offer to help parents cultivate satisfying, loving relationships between siblings?
•  Would you offer a word about self-care for parents raising kids who fight all the time?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question:  I wish I had known what to expect when a child with trauma hit the teen years. Maybe a book suggestion of what to expect or resources on what may show up and how to handle it. Puberty and the teen years have hit our family HARD. I also notice other families with adopted children going through the same or similar things. ~Rebecca from Kansas

Resources:

• Therapy Resources for Adoptive, Foster, and Kinship Families
• Center for Parent and Teen Communication
• Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Why is kinship care important, and what are some of the challenges? Our guests are Gregory Jones, a granddad raising five grandkids from birth to now ranging in age from 9 to 12; Ana Beltran, an attorney, and director of the Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network: A National Technical Assistance Center; and Erica Burgess, a social worker with over 25 years of experience in child welfare, specializing in kinship care.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How common is kinship care throughout the US—both formal (child welfare involved) and informal?
• Grandparents raising grandkids or aunts and uncles raising nephews and nieces is often complicated and comes with a mix of challenges and blessings.
• What are some of the blessings?
• What are some of the challenges? 
• Managing the relationship between the caregiver and the parents.
  • What are some common challenges in this relationship?
  • What are some common boundaries that need to be set in kinship care?
• Lack of preparation and training for raising kids who have experienced trauma, neglect, prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, etc.
• Lack of financial support.
• How can social workers and child welfare professionals make sure that kinship caregivers get the full extent of financial support?
• Access to resources. What are some typical resources that kinship caregivers should ask about and that child welfare agencies should consider providing?
• We see a significant variance between jurisdictions in social workers and child welfare professionals in the embrace of placing children with relatives.
  • Why are some social workers hesitant to place kids with relatives?
  • From an ethical perspective, why must social workers open their minds to looking for kin first when removing a child from their parents?
• Placing children with kin rather than the state taking custody. (Hidden foster care/kinship diversion)
  • Legal considerations
  • Ethical considerations with the hidden foster.

Great resources:

• Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network: A National Technical Assistance Center 
• Grandfacts: State Fact Sheets for Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children
• NCKinshipFamilies.org - Legal Permanency Options for NC Kinship Families website
• Free Kinship Legal Clinic 
• Kinship Caregivers and the Child Welfare System
  • https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-kinshi/
• Online Kinship Support Group - email [email protected]

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I are in the process of growing our family through adoption. It would be a domestic infant adoption, and we are hoping to cultivate a long-term relationship with the future baby’s birth family. I noticed that whenever I feel hesitation when thinking about openness, I can bring myself back down to earth by recognizing that any hesitation results from making things about ME, not the baby or birth family. 

The one question I can’t seem to navigate on my own is this...what do adopted children call their birth mothers? How do I, as a future adoptive mom, refer to the baby’s birth mom? I want to respect the baby and birth mom; any insight on how families handle this would be so helpful! 

Resources:

• What Does Your Child Call Her Birth Mother?
• 5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth Parents
• Positive Adoption Language & Why It Matters 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building