Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Do you struggle with getting your child to sleep? Join our conversation with Macall Gordon and Kim West, co-authors of the book, Why Won’t You Sleep?!: A Game-Changing Approach for Exhausted Parents of Nonstop, Super Alert, Big Feeling Kids.

In this episode, we cover:
This is not a newborn sleep training book. This is for those exhausted parents of kids from about age 1-6 who have tried it all and their child still won’t fall asleep easily or put themselves back to sleep when they awake in the night. 

• Why are some kids just harder to get to sleep or harder to keep asleep?
• Why is sleep so hard for some kids?
• How does trauma impact a child’s ability to fall and stay asleep?
• What are the biggest sleep issues for these kids and what can we do about them?
  • Overtiredness
  • Problems with the lead-up to lights out (transitions and routine)
  • Parent is a required part of the go-to-sleep and back-to-sleep pattern
  • Past inconsistency (trying a method then stopping too soon or only partly trying)
• Parents worry that if they don’t immediately respond to their child’s cry, they will damage the attachment or that their child will feel unloved.
• Thoughts on co-sleeping or the family bed.
• Thoughts on books on tape or video?
• AD has been with us since she was 1, is now almost 7. She's always required us to be with her to fall asleep, occasionally waking in the night. Now for about 2 months she basically needs my husband or I to sleep in her room. If we aren't there, she wakes multiple times, crying for us.
• She says she's afraid of bad dreams and bad thoughts inside her head, so no lights, monster spray, soothing music, etc. have helped. There is no event we can recall that started this, the only thing that fits time-wise is an age-appropriate storybook we read about adoption, with a happy ending.
• We are happy to give her the connection she needs but we are also tired... Any ideas on how to help?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I'm interested in adopting an older teenager (16 or 17). An agency worker shared that many older teens don't want to be adopted, and just want to age out of foster care. Is this true, and if so, is adopting an older teen a reasonable goal?

Resources:

• Foster Care Adoption (Resource page)
• Adoptee & Former Foster Youth Voices
• Foster Care (Suggested Books)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us for this interview with former NFL Running Back and Super Bowl Champion Ricky Watters. He is an adoptee, an adoptive dad, and author of a new children's book on adoption, A Gift Called Shane.

In this episode, we discuss: 

• How old were you when you learned you were adopted and how did you find out?
• When you discovered you were adopted, you mentioned in your NFL movie that it put a big chip on your shoulder. How has that chip served you well as an adoptive dad? 
• How has it been a detriment?
• Why did you decide to adopt?
• Why did you decide to adopt internationally?
• Did your experience with finding out late that you were adopted affect the way you discussed adoption with your son?
• Do you see any signs of a similar “chip” in your son that you had when you found out you were adopted? How do you help him navigate it for his own success?
• How did you prepare your biological son for the adoption of his brother? 
• How do you support your adopted son in his questions about identity, birth family, etc.?
• Are you in reunion with your biological family?
• How has your adoptive family handled your reunion with your birth family?
• How excited were you for fellow hometown boy Shady McCoy to get into the Eagles Hall of Fame?
• What was your experience with playing at Notre Dame? 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My husband Sean and I are here in Canada and early in the adoption process. We are looking at private infant adoption through an adoption agency.  My question is around getting ready. When we successfully match it is almost a certainty it will be with a newborn and there’s a 30% chance it’s a no-notice match and we have days rather than months to get ready. How would you recommend preparing? Do you think getting a crib, clothes, etc. is overkill? I’m a planner, so I love to be prepared!  Thanks!

Resources:

• Suggested Books for Adoption
• Creating a Family Online Support Group
• Transitioning a Child to Your Home

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Can our kids heal from all the hard things they've experienced? Is there something we can do to help? Join us today to learn about the power of positive childhood experiences with Dr. Robert Sege, the director of the HOPE National Resource Center at Tufts Medical Center. He holds a MD degree from Harvard Medical School and a PhD degree in biology from Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

In this episode, we cover:

• What are some of the benefits to kids from having positive childhood experiences?
• You have identified four building blocks for positive childhood experiences. What are they and give us specific examples of what parents and caregivers can do in each block to promote these experiences? 
• How do these positive childhood experiences differ by age of the child? 
• Can positive childhood experiences mitigate the impact of adverse childhood experiences? 
• How can we help our kids be more resilient?
• Are all stress and negative experiences in childhood bad for our kids?
• Are there particular ages where kids are more receptive to the healing impact of positive childhood experiences?
• Our audience includes foster, adoptive, and kinship parents. While adoptive parents have a lifetime with the kids (and kinship caregivers may also have the same), foster parents are usually a temporary landing place for a child while their parents work on getting them back. How much impact can you have if you only have the child for a few months or a year?

Resources:

• HOPE National Resource Center 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My husband and I were foster parents in the US, and have since relocated to Denmark for his work. We both still feel called to adopt from foster care, and would like to do that from the US. We know that the US and Denmark are both members of the Hague Convention, and can adopt from each other. You have great resources about international adoption, but usually from the perspective of a person in the US adopting from a foreign country. I'm wondering if you would consider doing a podcast episode on the process of a US citizen habitually resident in a foreign country adopting from US foster care. 

Resources:

• Foster Care Adoption
• Choosing a Foster Care Agency
• The Creating a Family 3-Step Process for Choosing an International Adoption Agency

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you planning to adopt or have you recently adopted? If so, you need to listen to this discussion about what to expect during the first few weeks or months you are home! Our guests are Michelle Kennedy and Deborah Artis. Michelle Kennedy has been a social worker with Methodist Home for Children for 27 years. She has direct care experience in residential and foster care services and has been working with youth and families in the foster-to-adopt process since 2005. Deborah Artis is a social worker and the Senior Program Director of foster care, adoption, and post-adoption with Children’s Home Society, where she has worked for 30 years.

In this episode, we cover:
Adopting a Newborn

• What are some common emotions when adopting a newborn?
• What are some common stresses when adopting a newborn?
• How may the revocation period affect the transition to new adoptive parenting?
• Expectations of extended family during this transition period.
• How do the stresses of newly adopted families differ from a family that gives birth to their child?
• How does the pre-adoption process affect this transition to new parenthood?
• What are some feelings that come up about birth parents after the baby comes home?
• Handling grief of the birth family.
• Realities of open adoptions.
• Feeling like the presence of a birth mom makes the adoptive mom less of a “real” mom.
• The balance of power shifting from the expectant/birth mom to the adoptive mom.
• How much of your child’s “story” should you share?
• How can infertility struggles impact the transition period?

Adopting a Child Past Infancy

• What are some common emotions when adopting a child from foster care or through international adoption?
• What are some common stresses when adopting a child past infancy?
• Integrating the new child into a family with other kids.
• How to help your child and you settle into becoming a new family.

Post Adoption Depression

• What is post-adoption depression?
• What are the symptoms?
• Blocked care.
• How can post-adoption depression impact parenting?
• How common is post-adoption depression?
• Can fathers also have post-adoption depression?
• Who is at risk for post-adoption depression? Are there ways to predict which people are more prone to post-adoption depression?
• What are some steps to take to prevent post-adoption depression?
• What should you do if you think you are suffering from post-adoption depression?

Additional Resources:

• 4 Tried and True Tips for a Smooth Transition Home with Adopted Kids
• Transitioning Home with Your Newly Adopted Baby 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My husband and I adopted our nephews four months ago. The two boys are sons of my niece; she gave her kids to the Family Department five years ago, and last year, we at last knew about the boys. They've been a year with us. I have a daughter, 21, and a son, 17, who were okay with the adoption, but now they say they feel this is not their home; they don’t feel at peace in their house and think It was not a good idea to adopt, because of the hard situations with the kids. How can we affirm to our biological children that we did the correct thing to give the kids a family and that there is a process we must go through as a family to adapt?

Resources:

• Sibling Relationships
  • Handling Negative Impacts of Adoption on Children Already in the Home
  • Preparing Children Already in the Home for Adoption
  • How Does Adoption Affect Siblings Already in the Home

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do your kids drive you crazy over the holidays? Does their behavior escalate? Join our conversation to learn why and what you can do about it. We will talk with Erin Nasmyth is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master’s in Social Work. She is the co-founder of Adoption Support Alliance, which provides services and support to adoptive families. She has worked in the public and private adoption and foster care system.

In this episode, we cover:

• Is it common to see behavioral changes for the worse during the holiday season?
• What are some of the behaviors you might see that allow our kids to drive us crazy?
• What are some of the stressors that we may not recognize that cause these behaviors? 
  • New things
  • New people
  • Change in routines
  • Parental distraction
  • Past history with holidays
  • Too much of everything-sensory overload
• Practical ideas of how can we make the holidays smoother for our kids and for you
• Ideas on how to get our family onboard for making these changes to our holidays to make it easier for our kids?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I see that you have information regarding prenatal substance exposure. Is there information regarding biological mothers that hate their pregnancy or their baby, but carry it to full term and put it up for adoption? Are there resources that would address the emotional impact on the baby?

Resources:

• Understanding the Birth Mom/Parent's Experience
• Talking with Kids About Adoption
• Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building