Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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How can we raise joyful resilient kids? We talk with Dr. Mona Delahooke, a clinical child psychologist and the author of Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids.

In this episode, we cover:

• “Too often we are focused on the child’s behavior instead of the child. We are concerned about solving problems rather than cultivating the relationship.”
• A child’s behavior is a clue for us parents to understand what is going on inside the child.
• No one-size fits all approach to child rearing. What’s most important isn’t the rules, but the child. We must understand how our parenting is landing on our child. Personalize our parenting.
• Three pathways to the mind-body platform.
• Body budgeting.
• The distinction between behaviors that seems to be defensive but are actually protective.
• How do you approach tantrums in a preschooler?
• How to co-regulate with our child and why?
• How to build resiliency in our children?

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Parenting kids exposed to trauma is hard. Sometimes, it is very hard, but these families can thrive. In an interview with Creating a Family, Dr. Ross Greene, a Harvard Psychology professor, stressed that it was crucial for parents of children exposed to trauma to realize that kids want to do well, and if they are struggling, it is likely because they are lacking a specific skill needed to succeed.

Resources:

• Helping Children Heal from Trauma
• Practical Guide to Parenting a Child Exposed to Trauma
• The Explosive Child  by Ross Greene

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us to learn about family rituals—how to create and why you should. Our guest will be Elizabeth Barbour is the author of a new book “Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life’s Milestone Transitions”. She’s also a reunited adoptee and an adoptive mom.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why are rituals important for families?
  • Define the culture of family-this is who we are
  • This is what we do
• What’s the difference between rituals and routines?
• What’s the difference between rituals and habits?
• Examples of family rituals.
  • Family meetings, 
  • kid/parent dates, 
  • game nights
  • gratitude practices
  • prayer and meditation
  • family altars
  • travel
  • volunteering together
• When families are created through adoption, any specific rituals that can help them?

 Tips

• Keep it simple
• Get input from all members of the family
• Consistency

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: How do you know when it is time to stop infertility treatments and move on to another option, including adoption?

Resources:

• Parenting After Infertility
• Adoption Options
• Adoption Comparison Charts

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you dread the teen years? Or, if you're in the midst of parenting teens, do you struggle to find ways to connect? This week, we interview Dr. Melody Aguayo, a parenting coach specializing in working with at-risk children and their families and the founder of Real Child Consulting, LLC. She is the mom of two adopted kids.

In this episode, we cover:

• Parents wonder why their easy and natural connection with their kids changed, and they now feel on the outs and have to work harder. What is the developmental stage that is happening between the ages of about 13 and 18 or 19? 
• Teens act like they don’t need us when I believe they need us even more to be present, but in a distinctly different way. I think that our emotions as a parent can sometimes interfere with connecting.
• Change our expectation of what “connection” means with teens.
• Parents report feeling powerless in parenting when their kids reach their teen years. What is the essence of our power as parents?
• Our goals for our teens are to become responsible and independent. How can we parent in such a way to foster these goals?
• Let’s address some common issues we face when parenting teens:
  • Arguing. How do you turn an argument into a conversation?
  • Spending too much time on technology
  • Running with the wrong crowd
• Tips for connecting and building trust and appreciation with your teen!

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Additional Resources:

• Virtual Twins Through Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective
• Adopting More Than One Child
• Adopting Out of Birth Order and Artificial Twinning

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Have you ever considered adopting a child from foster care? Check out our interview with Erica Jourdan, the Founder of Adoption Options Consulting, where she provides support to families looking to adopt older children from foster care. She is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Associate (LCSWA) at Flourish Counseling and Wellness. And Angelica Jones, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and the Intensive Service Foster Care Recruiter and Trainer at Vista Del Mar Child and Family Services in Los Angeles. She is a current foster parent and has experience working with prospective and adoptive parents in the foster care program.

In this episode, we cover:

• What are the different ways to adopt from foster care? (adopting children whose parental rights have already been terminated or adopting a child who you have been fostering when their parental rights are terminated)
• What types of kids are available for adoption from foster care? Age, gender, race, sibling group?
• Is adopting a very young child or baby from foster care possible?
• What are the special needs that these children might have? Trauma, prenatal exposure, ADHD, etc.
• Can you adopt a child from foster care across state lines?
• What should prospective parents think about when considering different ages of children to adopt?
• What should prospective parents think about when considering a sibling group for adoption?
• How to find children currently available for adoption?  AdoptUSKids, State Heart Galleries, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids
• What are the basic differences between adopting and fostering in foster care?
• Who can adopt from foster care?
  • Can singles men and women adopt from foster care?
  • Can LGBTQ+ parents adopt?
  • What are the education requirements? Do you have to have graduated from high school, or college?
  • Can you adopt if you have a criminal background?
  • Do you have to own your own home?
  • Do you have to make a certain amount of money in order to adopt from foster care?
• How much does it cost to adopt from foster care?
• Is an adoption subsidy usually available?
• Medicaid is usually available.
• What happens if you think the child might have problems in the future due to things, such as prenatal exposure, but is not currently showing any issues due to age? (if you have questions, contact Families Rising (Formerly known as NACAC, North American Council on. Adoptable Children))
• How does the Adoption Tax Credit apply to adoptions from foster care?
• What is the process for someone wanting to adopt from foster care?
• Home study requirements?
• How much education or training is required?
• Do you have to use the state agency or can you use a private agency? What is the difference between the two? Does it depend on what state you live in?
• What are some questions to ask when choosing an agency?
• How to transition a child into your home for adoption (if you aren't the foster parent) in the most child-centric way?
• Post-adoption contact or openness with birth parents, siblings, or birth grandparents.

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resour

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My nephew came to live with us last March. He’s a great kid who deserves better than he had, but his pickiness with food is driving me crazy. He eats only white carbs. Even his mac and cheese has to have white cheese on it.

Resources:

• Food Issues with Adopted, Foster, and Kinship Kids
• Picky Eating and Other Food Issues
• Practical Ideas to Help Your Child Overcome Food Issues

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us for a discussion of how adoption looks and feels from all sides of the adoption triad. Our guests will be the authors Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Lori Holden of their new book, Adoption Unfiltered .

In this episode, we cover:

• Adoptee Perspective:
• 23 adoptees contributed to this section of the book. 
• What are some of the issues adoptees may face?
• Compliance and people-pleasing
• Fantasy Attachments
• Shame
• Interracial Adoptees
• The Danger in the Rescue Narrative
• Role of religion in adoption for adoptees, birth mothers/expectant mothers, and adoptive parents

• Birth Mother:
• Before birth mothers get the chance to ask for help, they ask for mercy.
•  Advertisements and search algorithms when searching for adoption information
• Lack of neutral support
• Lack of post-placement support—lingering trauma and grief—It’s a different type of grief and trauma.

• Adoptive Parent
• Insecurity—who’s the real parent

• Adoption Unfiltered Online

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Q: I adopted my son four months ago. It took me almost 3 years, and I am supposed to be living my dream. Instead, I feel frustrated, sad, and sometimes even angry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s not like my hormones are all messed up from giving birth.

Resources:

• Post Adoption Depression
• Creating a Family Online Facebook Support Group for Adoptive, Foster, & Kinship Parents
• Parenting After Infertility

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building