Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Do you worry about being scammed in a domestic infant adoption? How can you prevent scams and recognize red flags for a failed adoption match? Join us to talk with Colleen Quinn, an adoption attorney at the Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center in Richmond, VA, with 34 years of experience in adoption law. She is the co-author of the last five editions of the VA CLE Adoption Procedures and Forms.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Adoption scams can fall into four general categories:
  • those against adoptive parents by expectant or supposedly pregnant women, 
  • those by brokers or facilitators who are not licensed or may not be legal, 
  • those by adoption agencies and attorneys agains adoptive parents.
  • those done by adoptive against expectant/birth parents.
• What are the typical adoption scams perpetrated by expectant women against prospective adoptive parents or adoption agencies or attorneys? 
• How much can adoptive parents pay an expectant mother for living expenses, clothes, transportation, food, etc.?
• What are some ways to prevent being scammed. Red flags for an adoption scam?
  • Insist on Video calls and then move to in-person meetings.
  • Ask for HiPPA release to see medical records
  • Don’t provide cash directly to the expectant parent.
  • Work with an experienced adoption agency or adoption attorney.
• What should adoptive families know and ask about unidentified birth fathers?
• What are ways adoptive parents can prevent becoming a victim of an adoption scam or adoption fraud?
• What are warning signs that an expectant woman does not plan to go through with the adoption? Note that this is not necessarily or even commonly the same thing as an adoption scam.
  • Watch for the placing parents wanting to name the child.
  • Wanting to take the baby home for a few days.
  • Terms used by the expectant parent—your baby vs. my family.
  • If placing their 3rd or 4th child more often not to place a full sibling and the couple is still to
  • Secrecy Not telling her mom
  • Grandmom doesn’t agree with placement
  • How soon they fill out the forms that we send.
  • Slow walk the Hippa forms.
  • Not following through with their attorney
  • More fall through with adoptive parents
  • Not getting good adoption options counseling  in person that asks the hard questions. This type of counseling really help her think through.
  • Overly or under-emotional about the adoption plan.
• While not necessarily a scam, how common is it for expectant mothers to not be fully open about prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol? 
• Acts by brokers or facilitators who are not acting legally? 
• Acts by adoption agencies and attorneys against adoptive parents.
• Adoption scams/fraud against expectant parents or birth parents?  (open adoption, fertility treatment, back out of the arrangement)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Q. We took in my cousin’s 4-year-old last month. We thought it might be temporary, but it’s looking like it will be for a long time and maybe forever. The problem is that this little boy has gone through a lot because his mom is a drug user and never really was a parent. He is very withdrawn and doesn’t seem to want to attach or let us get close in any way. Any help would be appreciated.

Resources:

• Attachment Help (Resource)
• 6 Tips for Creating Attachment (Article)
• Parenting the Challenging Child While Maintaining Attachment (Free Course)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you hoping to adopt from foster care. Don't miss this discussion of adoption subsidies with Josh Kroll, Project Coordinator for the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center at Families Rising (formerly known as the North American Council on Adoptable Children).

In this episode, we cover:

• What are adoption subsidies?
• What other names are used for “adoption subsidies”? Adoption Agreements, Adoption Assistance, AAP, monthly stipend. Is there a difference between these?
• Who is eligible for foster care adoption subsidies?
• Are private adoptions eligible for adoption subsidies? What if the private adoption is of a child with special needs?
• Supplemental Security Income (SSI).
• Is there an income limit for receiving an adoption subsidy?
• How is the dollar amount of the subsidy determined, and by whom?
• Can kinship providers receive foster care adoption subsidies?
• What other things can be included in an adoption subsidy agreement other than a monetary monthly stipend?
• Does the money have to be spent directly and solely on the foster child, or can it be used to benefit the whole family or the foster child only tangentially—such as adding a bedroom so that kids don’t have to share or a family vacation?
• What about situations where the child is either too young to be displaying needs or is not displaying needs, but the parents have reason to believe that the child will have needs as they age? How can they negotiate for future needs?
• How to handle adoption subsidies when you are adopting an infant with prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs?
• What other type of things might be included in adoption assistance? College tuition assistance/grant/tuition waiver?
• How is residential treatment covered?
• What if you face a difficult negotiation? 
• How can people get information about what particular states usually grant for adoption subsidies? https://nacac.org/help/adoption-assistance/
• How are adoption assistance/adoption subsidies handled if I’m adopting a foster child from another state?
• What should adoptive parents do if they believe that the adoption subsidy that is being offered is not enough?

Resources:

• Families Rising  (formerly NACAC) 
  • Josh Kroll contact info:
    800-470-6665  ext 115
    [email protected]
• Ndrn.org

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What factors do you need to consider when budgeting for the cost to adopt a baby?

Additional Resources:

• What type of adoption would be the best fit for you?
• Cost of working with an agency vs. working with an attorney.
• Adoption Tax Credit

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you suspect or know that your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? Join us to learn the best ways to advocate for that child, including how to get diagnosed. Our guest is Jenn Wisdahl, the Chief Operating Officer of FASD United and proud parent to 3 young adults with FASD. Jenn leads the FASD United federal legislative and policy agenda.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why is it important to get a diagnosis of one of the Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) or prenatal drug exposure for your child? 
  • In the US, FASD is not a diagnosis but rather an umbrella term that encompasses a range of life-long diagnosable medical and mental health conditions that can occur when there is prenatal alcohol exposure, even prior to recognition of pregnancy.  
    • Neurobehavioral Disorder Associated with Prenatal Alcohol Exposure (ND-PAE)
    • Alcohol-Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder (ARND)
    • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)
    • Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (PFAS)
    • Alcohol-Related Birth Defects (ARBD) 
• Increase in alcohol use during the pandemic.
• Why is it so hard for parents to get a diagnosis of FASD for their child?
• What should parents do to get a diagnosis?
• What is the average age of diagnosis of FAS or FASD?
• How does getting a diagnosis or prenatal drug exposure differ from getting a FASD diagnosis?
• Another opportunity for parents to advocate for their child is in the school system. What are some of the typical issues a child with prenatal substance exposure to alcohol and drugs may face in school?
• What are some of the ways a parent can advocate for their child in the education system?
• Another way parents can advocate for their child is through the Registry of Unmet Needs and Innovation waivers.
• FASD Respect Act. (Go to FASD United’s website and click on the policy center to get started.)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Carole LieberWilkins, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in reproductive medicine, adoption, and family-building options, answers this question with advice for couples.

Additional Resources:

• Adoption Comparison Charts
• Parenting after Infertility

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What do transracial adoptees think about being adopted by parents of a different race? Join us for a panel of transracial adoptees talking about all things adoption.

In this episode, we cover:

• Transracial adoption includes white parents of black, biracial, Asian, and Latinx children, as well as adoptive parents of color adopting white children. 
• Tell us your adoption story.
• How did your parents treat adoption? How did and does that make you feel about being adopted?
• When did you realize that you were a different race from your parents?
• How did your parents treat race, specifically your race, when you were young?
• What is wrong with taking a color-blind approach to transracial adoption? 
• Was it a struggle for you to identify as an adult of your race?
• What did your parent do to aid your racial identity formation? 
• Transracially adopted children need tools to maneuver through life as a member of their racial group. When they are young, they are protected from this reality, but this changes as they enter adolescence. What tools did your parents use and what tools did you need?
• How can transracially adopted people or their parents find mentors and role models of color?
• Were you ever embarrassed by being of a different race than your parents?
• Importance of finding a community of other adopted people.
• What is the most important thing, if any, your parent did to ensure/instill racial identity and pride as Caucasian parents who adopt a Black or Asian or Latina child?
• Tips for parents either considering transracial adoption or already in the midst of parenting transracially adopted kids.

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Q: I just recently found out my 14-year-old has stolen makeup more than once from different stores. I caught her this past weekend, and she said she did it once, but I went through her bedroom and found makeup stashed in a pillow, and I know I didn’t buy it. She gets straight A's in school, and I thought she was a trustworthy person. I just don’t know what to do.

Additional Resources:

• Podcast: Parenting Tips for Lying, Stealing & Other Annoying Behaviors
• Article: Lying & Stealing: How to Parent Challenging Behaviors
• Prenatal Substance Exposure Resources

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you want to be part of the solution to the inequity that exists in our country? If so, one of the best things you can do is raise your child to be anti-racist. Join our conversation with Tiffany Jewell, the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, This Book is Anti-Racist and The Anti-Racist Kid.
In this episode, we cover:

• At what age do kids notice race? And does this age differ in the US depending on the child's skin color?
• Why not teach our kids to be colorblind?
• How do the books we read, the movies we watch, the friends we make, the doctors we visit, and the conversations we have at home all shape our children’s views of race?
• What’s the difference between not being racist and being anti-racist?
• Is there a difference between how a White parent and a Black parent should approach raising an anti-racist child?
• Practical Tips for Parents 

Resources:

• The Anti-Racist Kid by Tiffany Jewell
• 4 Tips to Raising an Anti-Racist Kid by Creating a Family
• Resources for finding great children’s books: 
  • Diverse Book Finder is a fantastic website that allows you to search for children’s books based on specific categories (e.g., biographies, oppression/resistance; crossing divides, etc.), race/culture (e.g., African American, brown-skinned but race unidentified, Latinx, Asian, Middle Eastern, Bi/Multiracial, etc.), country, religion, etc.
  • The Brown Bookshelf highlights Black voices writing for young readers.
  • The Conscious Kid is an education, research, and policy organization that promotes children’s books centered on underrepresented and oppressed groups. They have a book of the month subscription service and a terrific list of books by Black authors that center, reflect, and affirm Black children of all ages. You can also follow them on Instagram to learn about these books.
  • Jane Addams Peace Association, Children's Book Awards
• EmbraceRace.org – Resource site formed by black and multi-racial parents with tools for parenting kids of color.
• One Talk at a Time – Providing support for Latinx American, Asian American, African American, and Black youth and their families to have conversations about race and ethnicity. In recognition that the issues may differ depending on the ethnicity, they have a separate section for Black, Asian, and Latinx parents.
• Creating a Family’s Transracial Adoption resource page – a variety of resources specific to families created through transracial adoption. We have an extensive collection of blog posts, news articles, expert Q & A’s, and radio shows/podcasts specific to multi-racial families formed through adoption.
• Between the World and Me – by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Written as a letter to his teenage son about being Black in the United States.
• The Antiracist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi.
• Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Q: I’m 67 years old. My niece has gotten involved bad with drugs. Her 5 and 3 year old were taken away from her and now the child welfare agency wants to know if I will take them. My niece has been doing drugs a long time and I honestly don’t know if she’s ever going to be able to get them back. I feel like I don’t have a choice.

Resources:

• Kinship Resources
• Trauma-Informed Parenting
• Suggested Books for Kinship Care

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building