Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Join us as we talk about various holiday-related situations that can arise with foster, adoptive, and kinship families. Our guests will be Janice Goldwater, MSW, the CEO of Paths for Families; Courtney Tierra, a birth mom, educator, and storyteller; and Christa Hefel, MPH with the State of Iowa Four Oaks Foster and Adoptive Family Connections, and foster mom and mom of 10 children through birth and adoption.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Incorporating very different traditions around the holidays. Differences in gift-giving styles. 
• Managing expectations of gifts
• Incorporating birth family 
• How do we handle grandparents/older relatives who are very vocal about current affairs, race issues, politics, government systems (foster system) in earshot of kids?
• Child is of a different religion or no religion. If the holiday is religious, how to handle with adoption or fostering?
• What do you do when grandparents show a clear preference for biological grandchildren? 
• And we answer some of our listeners questions.

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

The Ethics Committee of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine has stated that the correct term for donating unused embryos to another couple for family building is embryo donation rather than embryo adoption. But since many people looking for information on this option continue to call it embryo adoption, we sometimes use both terms to aid in finding our materials. Further, there are a few adoption agencies that have an embryo donation program; they follow an adoption model, and they call it embryo adoption.

Resources:

• Embryo Donation
• Disclosing Donor Conception to Our Kids
• Suggested Books for Kids Conceived Through Donor 

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

You're really going to want to tune in to hear the story of triplets separated at birth through adoption. It is particularly interesting to hear how they have processed the experience differently and how they feel about adoption.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Kathleen’s (the birth mom) experience. Why did she decide to place two of the babies for adoption?
• When did you find out you were triplets?
• What was the agreement at the time of adoption about the degree of openness?
• Was this openness agreement followed, and how do you feel about that?
• The podcast focuses on the loss of the sibling connection. How did the separation affect each of you?
• How do/did Kendall and Julianne feel the loss of your birth mom and not being parented by her?
• Primal Wound?
• The focus in the podcast, understandably, was on the reunion of the three sisters. However, I’m curious about the reunion between Jules and Kenny and Kathleen, their birth mom.
• Feeling the odd one out? 
• Donor conception? Who was the driving force behind finding the sperm donor? 
• Did connecting with the donor fulfill anything for you?
• What are the lingering impacts of having been separated at birth?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Resources:

• Foster Care Adoption
• Becoming a Foster Parent
• Choosing a Foster Care Agency

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

If you are thinking about adoption, you've likely considered the possibility that you will be adopting a child in another state. In this episode, we talk about everything involved with this process. Our guests are Jim Thompson, an adoption attorney and the author of the book South Carolina Adoption Law and Practice. He has been a Fellow of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys since 1993 and Joan Smith, the District Supervisor of the Pittsburgh office of Adoptions From the Heart.

In this episode, we cover:
Infant Adoption

• Is it possible to adopt an infant in another state?
• How does a prospective adoptive parent find an expectant mother in another state?
• What things must prospective adoptive parents be cautious of when looking for expectant parents in another state, especially if they are not working with an adoption professional?
• How does the domestic infant adoption process differ when the adoptive parents and the expectant moms live in different states?
• What is the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC)?
• What are the steps on the ICPC as it applies to domestic infant adoption?
• What state’s adoption laws will be used for the adoption?
• How long should adoptive parents expect the ICPC process to take?

Adopting from Foster Care (relative adoption and non-relative adoptions)

• Is it possible to adopt a child from foster care in another state?
• Can you foster a child in foster care in another state?
• How do you find a child in foster care in another state legally free to adopt?
• How does the foster care adoption process differ when the prospective adoptive parents and the child live in different states?
• What are the steps with the ICPC as it applies to foster care adoption?
• How do visitations between the adoptive family and the child work?
• How are adoption subsidies handled when adopting a foster child from another state?
• Which state pays the adoption subsidy? 
• How are health care benefits or Medicaid handled?

Resources:
AdoptUSKids Understanding Interstate Adoption

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Resources:

• Adoption Comparison Charts
• Cost of Adoption
• US Department of State - Intercountry Adoption
• Find an agency

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you worry that you've gotten in over your head by adopting this child. Are you about ready to give up. Or do you want to do everything possible to make sure that your adoption doesn't fall apart? Join us to talk with Dr. Eshele Williams, Director of the Creating Stability During Change Model of Practice for Resource Family Disruption Prevention and Retention. She was also a birth child in foster adoptive kinship family. Dr. Eileen Pasztor is a Prof. Emerita, California State University at Long Beach School of Social Work, and foster and adoptive parent.

In this episode, we cover:

• What terms do we use for an adoption that falls apart? What is the distinction between adoption dissolution and adoption disruption?
• What does the research show about how common adoption dissolutions are? 
• What are the stages a family goes through before they decide to end an adoption?
• Why do families struggle post-adoption to the point of considering dissolving the adoption? 
  • CWLA's new Compendium book chapter on adoption in the section on Trending Topics and Issues relating to disruption and dissolution. “Studies that have examined the risk factors related to disruption and dissolution reveal multiple reasons for postadoption instability, including factors relating to the children, their families, and the agencies (White, 2016).
  • Unrealistic expectations. Not fully understanding the impact of trauma.
    • How can we help families manage expectations and form realistic expectations prior to the adoption?
    • It’s easy to “blame” the child, but what can parents do to prepare in advance for some of the possible realities of adopting a child?
  • Child behavioral issues (Physical issues are seldom the cause for an adoption failing. Emotional issues are a far more common cause.)
  • Issues between children already in the family with the new child.
  • Lack of adequate resources and support and a family’s ability to pay for them.
  • Lack of insurance coverage for mental health.
  • Marital strains caused by parenting a child who has challenging behaviors.
• Steps to Stability
• Prevention/Intervention strategies?
• Where should families go for help if they are struggling?
• How can families know when they have given it enough time?
• If you believe that an adoption is going to fail, what steps should a parent take to make it less damaging to the child?
• Who should the families first contact when they have made up their minds?
• How to dissolve an adoption legally?
• Parents worry about being found negligent and/or paying child support. How realistic is that fear?
• What if parents want to dissolve the adoption to get help in paying for the treatment that their child needs but would still like to remain in the child’s life?
• How can we support families before they give up?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Q: We’ve applied to adopt an infant but haven’t received a match. What can we do?

Resources:

• What Is An Adoptive Parent Profile (or Dear Expectant Parent Letter) and How To Make One
• Why is it Taking So Long to Get an Adoption Match?
• Understanding Expectant Moms Who Are Considering Adoption

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Does it feel like your child is sabotaging the holidays? Are there more tantrums, sullenness, and anxiety during the holiday season? We explore why and what to do about it with Rebecca Robotham, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Beehive Counseling & Wellness in Connecticut. She is also an adoptee and former foster child.

In this episode, we cover:

• There are many sources of trauma for children, and many adopted and foster children have experienced trauma before they come to our homes. We’re talking neglect, prenatal exposure, abuse, domestic violence, and the actual act of being removed from your parents.
• How can trauma impact children? Both physically and emotionally?
• What is it about the holidays that makes it hard for kids with trauma? (change in routine, lots of people, bringing up memories, over-stimulation, change in diet, distracted parents, build-up of anticipation, let down after the fact…)
• What type of behaviors might you see? (more tantrums, dysregulation, “sabotaging” the holidays, sibling bickering, depression, sullenness, anxiety, …)
• How can families do the holidays differently to help kids who have experienced trauma?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Q: Now that our youngest is in high school, we want to become foster parents but don’t know where to begin.

Resources:

• How to Choose an Adoption Agency (Guide)
• Becoming a Foster Parent (Resource page)
• Working as Part of a Foster Care Team (Resource page)
• Suggested Books for Foster Care Parents

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building