Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Do you sometimes feel that self-care is an impossible goal when you are parenting kids who have experienced trauma. There isn't enough time in the day to do it all, much less take care of yourself. Or is there? Join us to talk about how to find time to take care of yourself. We will talk with Angelica Jones, MSW, Program Director of Intercountry Services and the Intensive Service Foster Care Recruiter and Trainer at Vista Del Mar Child and Family Services.

In this episode, we cover:

·      “Selfcare” or “take care of yourself” are overused but still vitally important terms for  foster, adoptive, and kinship parents.

·      Why do all parents but especially parents of kids who’ve experienced trauma need to practice self-care?

·      What is secondary trauma?

·      Why are kids who’ve experience neglect, abuse and other childhood traumas harder to  parent?

·      The busyness of foster and adoptive parenting.

·      What are some of the barriers to taking care of ourselves as adoptive, foster or kinship parents?

·      The importance of respite care and the barriers to parents using it.

·      Practical ideas for providing self-care.

·      Think small when thinking self-care.

·      Ask for help and accept it when offered. If someone offers to help, say “yes” and suggest something specific. Ex. A meal on Wednesday night. Babysitting or taking a child to the movies once a month.

·      Parent Support groups

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you worry that the over the counter medications you take for a headache or allergies could impact your fertility? What about CBD or melatonin? We talk with Dr. Kathleen Tucker, a scientific director for various IVF labs; and with K.E. Tucker Consulting, and Dr. Angie Beltos, CEO and Chief Medical Officer of Vios Fertility Institute.

In this episode, we include:

• Research has found three reasons why the impact of OTC medication on fertility has become an increasing issue.
  • We are taking more medications now that people in the past. 
  • People are waiting longer to start a family and age is associated with greater medication use.
  • People are experiencing more chronic disease at earlier ages.
• Taken together, these factors have increased the number of prescribed and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs being taken by women and men attempting to get pregnant with or without fertility treatment.
• As always, talk to your doctor about any concerns you have regarding both prescription and non-prescription medications.
• Impact of OTC drugs on fertility - female and male fertility.
  • Impact on natural conception.
  • Impact when taken during fertility treatment.
  • Impact on pregnancy.
• Impact of NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) on fertility.
  • Aspirin (brand names include Bayer, Bufferin, Ecotrin, St. Joseph)
  • Ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin)
  • Excedrin (acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine)
  • Naproxen (Aleve, Anaprox DS, Naprosyn)
  • Celecoxib (Celebrex)-prescription only
  • Acetaminophen (Tylenol)
• Antacids-histamine blockers and proton pump inhibitors
• Antihistamines B-both types? 1st generation, 2nd generation
• Sleep aids
• CBD
• Other common over-the-counter (OTC) medications
• Skin and hair care products
• Herbal supplements?
• As always, talk to your doctor about any concerns you have regarding both prescription and non-prescription.

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

How should you talk with young children, toddlers, and preschoolers about adoption. How do you talk about birth mothers and birth fathers? In this episode we talk with Jenna Howard, a LMSW who has worked in the adoption field since 1994 in both domestic and international adoption. In addition, she is an adoptee and an adoptive mom.

In this episode, we cover:

1. Why is it important to start talking about adoption and birth parents with kids when they are very young?
2. When should you begin talking about adoption with children if they are adopted at birth or a very young age?
3. How to talk with infants about adoption.
4. What do young children understand about the concept of adoption?
5. What name should be used when referring to birth parents?
6. How to talk with toddlers and preschoolers about adoption. (They are accepting of what parents say and the attitude it was said.)
7. Adoption is cool stage.
8. Oversharing details. Distinction between secret and private.
9. Oversharing as a parent.
10. Helping child explain adoption.
11. Talking about adoption vs. different ways families are made.
12. Keep it short and simple. Laying the groundwork.
13. Positive adoption language.
14. Common questions children this age might ask and sample answers.
15. How to talk about birth fathers and the role of birth fathers when the child doesn’t understand conception?
16. How to talk about birth fathers when birth father is unknown or otherwise not in the picture?
17. How to talk about birth siblings.
18. Why do some adoptive parents hesitate to talk with young children about adoption?
19. When should parents share some of the harder parts of their child’s adoption story  (domestic violence, substance abuse, incarceration, unknown birth father, rape)?
20. Tips:
    1. Books – Creating a Family has a great list of the Best of the Best Adoption books for kids broken out by type of adoption and age of the child.
    2. Movies/TV shows (Sesame Street, Mister Rodgers, etc)
    3. Make a life book
    4. Parenting Your Adopted Preschooler and the link won’t change so that makes it easy. https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/preschool

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

How do you discipline kids who have experienced trauma? We provide 5 tips and then discuss 5 challenging parenting situations. Our expert is Karen Doyle Buckwalter, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Registered Play Therapist and Supervisor, and co-author of "Raising the Challenging Child".

In this episode, we cover:
1.     The Relationship Bank Account

•  Spend effort building your relationship with your child so that you have banked “good will” for when you need to say no or set a firm rule.
•  Ideas for making quick and easy deposits:
  • Praise efforts, successes, helpfulness, their unique essence—big and small.
  • Let the child choose whenever possible.
•  Look for compromises.
• Make more deposits than withdrawals.
• Magic “rule” 5 positive comments to every 1 negative.
  • Difference between making a deposit and spoiling your child.
  • Sideswipe instead of confront. 

2.     Respond to What is Beneath the Behavior

•  Behavior is a reflection of a need. It’s a symptom.
• Strategies for digging deeper into what is underneath the behavior.

3.     Reexamine Your Expectations

• See your child for who she is.

4.     Balancing Structure and Nurture

• How does structure lead to feelings of safety and why is this often misunderstood when parenting children with a history of trauma?
• Choose your battles: choose to ignore some behaviors.

5.     Share Power to Gain Power

Specific Behaviors:

• Tantrum
• Name calling and teasing
• Handle attention seeking behaviors.
• Lying
• Sexualized Behavior and Play

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What's it like to have your world turned upside down when you become the parent to your grandchild, niece, or nephew? What are the hidden joys and challenges. In this podcast episode, we have a frank and open talk with a panel of kinship caregivers about their experience.

In this episode, we cover:
 

• What has been one of the greatest joys you’ve experienced as a kinship caregiver?
• What has been one of the greatest challenges you’ve had in raising your grandchild or niece or nephew?
• How has your age played into your parenting experience with this child?
• How has caring for your grandchild affects your friendships and activities?
• How do you handle the dual roles of being a mom to your grandchild and a mom to your grandchild’s parent? How has kinship caregiving impacted your role as parent to your child? 
• Have you had to set boundaries with your child to protect your grandchild?
• How have you handle if your grandchild’s parent has another child? Would you take that child in as well?
• How have you learned about technology, screens, video gaming, etc. in order to parent a child of this younger generation?

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

How old is too young for a phone? Is gaming harmful to our kids? How much technology is too much. We talk with Dr. Jay Berk, a licensed psychologist and an expert in working with children and families. He is the author of two books: “A Parent’s Quick Guide to Electronic Addiction” and “Codeswitching: Social Skills in the Screen-Age”.

In this episode, we cover:

Parents from time immemorial have worried about the impact of the “new technology” and this goes back to our great great great grandparents worrying about the influence of novels to parents of the 50’s worry about too much time on the phone, to parents of the 80s worrying about too much TV, and on to the present where we worry about screen time, texting, and gaming. 

• We parents are digital “immigrants” while our kids are digital natives. How does this dynamic present challenges?
• How to keep up with what our kids are doing?
• What are the general best practices for elementary aged kids using digital technology?
  • What age should kids be given a phone?
  • What are reasonable rules for phone use?      
• How do things change as our kids each around age 11 or 12 and on into their teen years
• How important is the use of digital media to socialize for this generation?
• When should parents worry?
  • Is the child getting enough sleep?
  • Are they eating well?
  • Are they getting enough exercise?
  • Are they doing well in school?
  • Do they have real life friends?
  • If so, they are probably just fine.
• What are the signs that our kids may be too involved with digital technology or gaming
• How much screen time is too much for tweens? For teens?
• Do different types of technology have different risks and benefits? Internet? Gaming? Porn?
• What are some reasonable rules for families to set in regards to technology, screen time, and gaming?  
• How to get buy-in from our tweens and teens?
• App-tell kid
• A challenge particular to families adopting or fostering older children or teens is that often our kids come to us with having had little supervision or rules about internet use? How can we establish healthy habits when the rules are new to them?

Resources: 

• A Parent’s Quick Guide to Electronic Addiction by Dr. Jay Berk
• Center for Parent and Teen Communication: A Fact-Not-Fear Approach to Parenting In the Digital Age https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aNtRhYfA3k
• Creating a Family’s Navigating the Internet with Adopted or Foster Tweens and Teens https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-blog/navigating-the-internet-with-adopted-or-foster-tweens-and-teens/
  
  This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Have you ever wondered if your struggle to conceive could be caused by your genes? Today we're going to answer that question and more about genetics and fertility by talking with two certified genetic counselors with CooperGenomics: Sharyn Lincoln and Sheila Johal.

In this episode, we cover:

Infertility is a disease affecting nearly 7% of all couples. It is a highly heterogeneous pathology with a complex etiology that includes both environmental and genetic factors. In this episode we will be focusing on the genetics.
 
What percentage of infertility can be attributed to our genes?
 
Genetics and Female Infertility

47,XXX (trisomy X; Triple X)
⁃       What is trisomy X?
⁃       How common is 47,XXX?
⁃       What are the symptoms of Triple X syndrome?
⁃       How common is infertility in women with Triple X?
⁃       Will the children conceived also have this chromosomal abnormality?
Turner syndrome (monosomy X)
⁃       What is Turner Syndrome?
⁃       How common is it?
⁃       What are the symptoms?
⁃       How common is mosaicism with this chromosomal defect?
⁃       How common is infertility in women with monosomy X?
⁃       Will the children conceived also have this chromosomal abnormality?
Single Gene Disorders
⁃       Fragile X (Primary Ovarian Failure)
⁃       Premutation
⁃       Galactosemia
⁃       Others
Polygenic, complex female infertility (environment & genetics)
⁃       Endometriosis
⁃       Is there a genetic link?
⁃       Fibroids
⁃       Is there a genetic link?
⁃       Hereditary leiomyomatosis and renal cell cancer (HLRCC)
⁃       Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)
⁃       Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH)
⁃       Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI)
⁃       Is there a genetic link?
⁃       XXX syndrome
⁃       Fragile X syndrome
 
Genetics and Male Infertility

Klinefelter syndrome
⁃       What is Klinefelter syndrome, 47,XXY?
⁃       How common is Klinefelter syndrome?
⁃       What are the symptoms of Klinefelter syndrome other than infertility?
⁃       Is it possible for a man with Klinefelter syndrome to reproduce?
⁃       Will the children also have chromosomal abnormalities?
47,XYY syndrome
⁃       How common is XYY syndrome?
⁃       What are the symptoms of XYY syndrome other than infertility?
⁃       Will the children also have chromosomal abnormalities?
Structural chromosomal abnormalities (SCAs) include deletions, duplications,
translocations (balanced, imbalanced, and Robertsonian), and inversions.
⁃       Y chromosome micro deletions
Single Gene Disorders (Cystic Fibrosis)
Why has it been so hard to pinpoint the exact genes associated with male and female
fertility?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Bringing foster children into your family may impact the kids already in your home—both in positive and potentially negative ways. We will provide suggestions on how to integrate new foster children into your home as seamlessly as possible. Our guest expert is Dr. Eshele Williams, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who brings her professional expertise with counseling foster families as well as her personal experience as being a biological child in a family that fostered many children in her childhood.

In this episode, we cover:

• Positive benefits of fostering on children already in the family.
• Possible challenging issues children in the family might face when foster children join the family.
• Benefits of preparing children in the family for the realities of fostering.

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What do we mean by attachment and what can parents do to help their child attach. What can parents do if they are struggling with attaching to their child. We talk with Dr. Casey Call, the Assistant Director of Education at the Institute of Child Development at TCU. She is a researcher and trainer for Trust-Based Relational Intervention.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is attachment and why is it so important to a child’s development?
• How does attachment develop in children who are raised from infancy in a healthy functioning family? What does healthy attachment look like?
• What events can interrupt the normal development of healthy attachment? (e.g. multiple caregivers, abuse, neglect) What about a primary care giver with mental illness? What about long term hospitalization?
• When we have a child placed in our homes for either adoption or fostering, what are some signs that this child may have attachment issues?
• Attachment issues fall along a spectrum from mild to severe. Describe typical behaviors that might appear along this spectrum.
• Reactive Attachment Disorder
• We have people contacting us with worries after only a few weeks in their home when the child and family are still adjusting to a total change in their lives. What is a reasonable time to give a child before parents begin to worry about major attachment issues?
• What are some things parents of newly adopted or fostered kids can do to help their child attach?
• What type of therapy is effective for children with attachment issues?
• How can you find a therapist who will be knowledgeable on how to help a child and family that is struggling to attach?
• How to discipline while still focusing on attachment.
• The importance of parental attachment.
• What interferes with a parents ability to attach to their child?
• What are some things that a parent can do if they are struggling to attach to their child?
• Post adoption depression.

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
·         Weekly podcasts
·         Weekly articles/blog posts
·        Resource pages on all aspects of family building 

Support the show (https://creatingafamily.org/donation/)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What do adoptive and foster parents need to know about the impacts of prenatal exposure to opioids, Suboxone, and Methadone. What are the risks to a baby born with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome or Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome (NOWS)? We talk with Dr. Julian Davies, a pediatrician at the University of Washington’s Center for Adoption Medicine and their FASD and Prenatal Exposure Clinic.

In this episode, we cover:

• What are opiates or opioids? 
• What are the most common opiates that are being used during pregnancy? 
• What are the most common non-opiate drugs that are being used by pregnant women? 
• What are the common treatment medication/drugs given to those struggling with addiction who are trying to get off opioids? Methadone, Suboxone, and Subutex 
• Are Methadone, Suboxone, and Subutex safe to use during pregnancy? 
• What are the short- and long-term impacts on infants exposed to opiates? 
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to Methadone in pregnancy? 
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to Suboxone in pregnancy? 
• Does the dosage of methadone or suboxone have an effect on the baby? 
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to methamphetamines (meth) in pregnancy? 
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to cocaine in pregnancy? 
• What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to marijuana in pregnancy? Edible vs. smoking vs. vaping 
• Does the timing of exposure in pregnancy affect the prognosis for the child? Is there a safer time for a fetus to be exposed to drugs in utero? 
• Many parents believe that if the child is not born dependent or with drugs in their system that the prognosis is better. Or conversely, if the child is born dependent and has to go through withdrawals that they will suffer more impact from the in-utero drug exposure. Is this true? 
• How serious is drug dependency and withdrawal for the infant? 
• How is withdrawal treated in the infant? How is Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) and Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome (NOWS) treated in babies born dependent? 
• Families that adopt out of state are often concerned about how soon they can travel home with their baby if she has been born dependent and is going through withdrawal. 
• How long does withdrawal in an infant born dependent last? 
• If a baby tests positive for opiates is it possible to determine what drug the baby has been exposed to? Does the long-term prognosis matter depending on which drug? 
• How do you foster attachment while baby is suffering through withdrawal? 
• How common is it for women who use drugs during their pregnancy to also drink excessively during their pregnancy? 
• One thing you hear a lot is that “early intervention is key” and that a baby’s brain can be rewired during the first couple of years with the right therapy. What exactly does that therapy entail? Where can you find it? What strategies should you be using at home with your child with a diagnosis of prenatal drug exposure? 
• There are many similarities between drug exposure and trauma in how it affects children’s learning, behavior, etc. When a child has both of those challenges, is it possible to tell the difference on what is causing specific problems, and is the treatment different depending on the cause? 
• Are children who are exposed prenatally at a greater risk for drug abuse as teens and adults if they were adopted and not raised in an environment that exposed them to drug use? 
• What are the most common blood borne diseases that women who use drugs are exposed to are more likely to have. 
• What is the risk to a baby whose mother

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building