Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Question: I love my child so much, but lately I feel emotionally worn down and shut down in my parenting. Someone mentioned they recently learned about blocked care, and now I’m wondering if that's what’s happening. What is blocked care, and what can a parent do about it?

Resources:

• Understanding and Overcoming Blocked Care
• What Is Blocked Care? How Do I Overcome It?
• Trauma-Informed Therapy
• Building Rhythms of Self-Care Into Our Parenting
• Making Self-Care a Priority for the New Year

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you raising a child with known or suspected prenatal opioid exposure? Understanding the impacts and how to parent them will help you set your child up to thrive! We are joined by Lenette Serlo, an adoptive mom of four children impacted by prenatal substance exposure and the founder of Generation O, a nonprofit focused on creating understanding and support for children with prenatal opioid exposure and their families.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What are opioids, and what does it mean when a child has been exposed to opioids before birth?
• What are some of the short-term and long-term ways prenatal opioid exposure can affect a child’s brain, body, and development?
• What were some of the earliest things you noticed that helped you understand that your kids might experience the world differently?
• How can parents make the shift from asking “What’s wrong with this child?” to “What does this child need?”
• When a child has prenatal opioid exposure, what practical ways can parents help support emotional regulation and nervous system balance for these kids?
• What are some everyday challenges families might see at home?  And what strategies can parents and caregivers try to support their kids with those challenges?
• What tools or routines can help kids succeed with things like organization, memory, and follow-through?
• How could a parent or caregiver partner with teachers or schools so that children impacted by prenatal opioid exposure can succeed academically and behaviorally?
• What have you learned about helping children build friendships and navigate social situations successfully?
• In the baby and preschool years, what supports or parenting approaches can make the biggest difference?
• What challenges tend to emerge during the elementary school years, and how can caregivers support learning, independence, and confidence during that stage?
• As children move into adolescence, what new challenges can appear, and how can parents continue supporting identity, independence, and life skills?
• What is one small change parents or caregivers can make tomorrow that could have a big impact?
• You founded Generation O to support families navigating prenatal opioid exposure. What gaps did you see that made you want to start this organization? 
• What’s giving you hope right now? 
• What is one message would you most want our listeners to take with them about helping their kids with a history of opioid exposure thrive now and into their futures?

Resources:

• Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for Foster, Adoptive & Kinship Parents
• Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure
• Prenatal Substance Exposure Training for Child Welfare Professionals

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: Should I tell my nephew that by the time he turns 18, he has to be in school and passing his classes, or have a job, to continue living with us? He will turn 18 at the end of this school year and will inherit a small amount of money that could get him started. He is currently in school, and he doesn’t have a job or any interest in getting one. Anytime someone asks him about his goals or future plans, his answer is “I don’t know” or “I don’t care.” I know that he is depressed and apprehensive about growing up, so part of me worries about pushing him too hard, but on the other hand, without a push, I worry his situation will continue to deteriorate. 

Resources:

• Prenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and Teens
• Practical Ways to Connect with Your Tween or Teen
• Supporting Kids with Prenatal Exposure in the Transition to Adolescence and Beyond
• Raising Resilient Kids
• Raising Kids for a Lifelong Parent/Child Bond

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Helping young adults in foster or kinship care transition toward adulthood can feel overwhelming for foster parents and relative caregivers. Join us today for a conversation with Vernell Gore of Youth Villages and Nick Sgarlata of Bridge to Brighter, for practical ways to prepare and equip your foster or kin youth for adulthood.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What makes this stage of life uniquely challenging for youth in foster or kinship care compared to their peers?
• What does a successful transition to adulthood actually look like?
• What are some common misconceptions that caregivers or professionals have about youth who are nearing adulthood?
• When you think about a young person leaving care and thriving in adulthood, what key elements need to be in place?
• Why might a young person leaving foster care or relative care at the same time they are leaving high school feel the weight of this uncertainty more than their peers? 
• How and where can foster parents or kin carers help youth explore different career paths and possibilities?
• What are some practical ways they can research those options and make informed decisions?
• What types of programs or pathways will help youth develop skills, discipline, or career direction?
• What are the most important money skills young people need before they leave care?
• What are some simple ways to start teaching these skills while the youth are still at home?
• What are some everyday adult responsibilities that youth may struggle with? 
• What are some of the benefits of mentors for a young person transitioning out of foster care? 
• How can they begin finding mentors or supportive role models?
• Beyond practical skills, what character traits or skills do young people need to develop to succeed in adulthood?
• Many youth in foster care or living with a grandparent or relative are carrying trauma from earlier experiences. How important are healing and identity development in preparing them for adulthood?
• How might a foster parent or relative caregiver support their young person toward healing?
• What are a few common mistakes adults make when trying to prepare youth for adulthood?
• What practical steps can foster or kinship carers start today to prepare their youth for adulthood? 

Resources:

Raising Kids with Neurodiversity (ADHD)

Maintaining a Healthy Perspective When Parenting Tweens & Teens

Prenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and Teens

Supporting Kids with Prenatal Exposure in the Transition to Adolescence and Beyond

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

A Lifebook is the story of how your child came to be yours and the story of his life before he came to you. Adoption is only one aspect of your child, and at some point, his life merges into your life. However, he had a life before he came to your family, and his Lifebook tells this part of his story.

Resources:

• Adoption Lifebooks (Suggested Books)
• Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource Page)
• Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Raising kids impacted by adoption, foster care, or kinship care can do a number on your marriage or life partnership. Join us for a conversation with Jeremy & Jara Walden, authors of The Heart Work of Foster Care: A Hopeful and Honest Guide to Foster Parenting, about strategies to re-prioritize and strengthen your most significant relationship.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How can raising kids together enhance a marriage or relationship? 
• Why are kids in our community often harder to parent?
  • Trauma, loss, neglect
  • Prenatal substance exposure
  • Challenging behaviors that come from those experiences
• Why and how might our kids’ needs test our adult relationships?
• What are some of the additional stressors our relationships may face when fostering or adopting kids who’ve been exposed to trauma?  
• What are some challenging behaviors kids who’ve experienced trauma can bring that might be particularly difficult for the marriage?
• What are some signs that we may be neglecting or at least not maintaining our significant relationship?
• How does your history impact your marriage, while raising kids with trauma impacts?
• Can you offer specific strategies for “going back,” healing, or re-prioritizing our marriages or partnerships if we are listening to this and realize we haven’t done so?
• How do single parents prioritize the adult relationships that they value?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We have two children adopted through the foster care system as infants - an almost 10-year-old (AudHD) and a 4.5-year-old (neurotypical). They both come into our room every night in the middle of the night, and it really disturbs my sleep and my husband's sleep. It seems like we've tried everything to get them to stop. Recently, we told them we were going to start locking our door, but then they just come and knock and knock until one of us gets up. If we try to put them back in their own beds, they make us lie down with them until they fall asleep - then I can't get back to sleep after that. Not sure how to handle this situation.

Resources:

• Sleep Issues with Adopted, Foster, or Relative Children
• Why Won't My Child Sleep?! (And What Can I Do?)
• Help! My Newly Placed Child is Regressing on Sleep

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Would you like to learn how to build a culture of joy, connection, and healing in your home? Join us for a conversation with Bryan Post, an adoptee and therapist specializing in child behavior, adoption trauma, and love-based parenting. He's the founder of Fear to Love LLC, Bondify.ai, and Leaf Wraparound, and the author of several books, including From Fear to Love.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Bryan's journey as an adoptee and how that shaped his work with families today.
• What do we need to know about trauma, its impacts on the kids, and how it shows up day to day?
• Why might we as parents be tempted to misinterpret those behaviors and expressions as defiance, manipulation, or disrespect? 
• When a child is melting down, shutting down, or pushing adults away, what’s actually happening in their brain and nervous system?
• In a very real-life parenting moment — like a slammed door, eye rolls, a screaming match, a refusal to comply — what does the shift from fear-based reactions to love-based responses actually look like?
• Can you share two or three concrete strategies parents can start practicing immediately that reflect that mindset shift?
• Could you give us an example of words or scripts a parent might use in that moment? 
• How can a parent calm themselves first when their child’s behavior is triggering them? 
• What might a “culture of love and joy” actually look like inside a home — especially one that has experienced a lot of chaos?
• What are some of the small, daily practices that build trust over time?
• What does growth look like in a trauma-impacted home?
• One or two examples of how-to or where to capture JOY in the moments when we are feeling challenged about when or where healing may happen. 

Resources:

• Learn more about Bryan Post
• Introduction to Attachment - Online Parent Education course
• Raising Kids for a Lifelong Parent/Child Bond - Podcast

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: My husband and I finalized our adoption in December 2025, and we’re still waiting for our son’s birth certificate in the mail. Then we’ll need to take it to file for an SSN and wait for that to arrive. How can we file taxes, including our newborn baby, without a Social Security Number for him? (We didn’t know we could file for a temporary number with the IRS until it was too late - after his finalization hearing).

Resources:

• The 2025 Adoption Tax Credit (podcast)
• The Annual Adoption Tax Credit Guide: 2025 Edition
• IRS.gov: Adoption taxpayer identification number

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Do you worry about what is normal in your child’s sexual development? Join us to talk with Roy Van Tassell, a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oklahoma and Director of Trauma and Evidence-based Interventions for Centene Health. He co-chairs the National Child Traumatic Stress Networks’ subcommittee on children with problem sexual behaviors.

Warning: We will be using anatomically correct words and talking about sex, so if this offends you or triggers you, you may want to skip this podcast.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Typical Sexual Development / Play
  • What is typical sexual development in children as they age?
  • What type of sexual play is considered “normal?”
  • How should parents manage a child’s natural sexual development?
• Problematic Sexual Behavior
  • What are Problem Sexual Behaviors in Children?
  • What causes kids and youth to act in socially unacceptable or destructive sexual ways? What factors influence the development of these behaviors?
• Child vulnerabilities
  • Behavior problems
  • Emotional difficulties
  • Developmental delays
  • Low impulse control
• Family vulnerabilities
  • Poor supervision
  • Single caregiver
• Modeling of coercion
  • Harsh parenting practices
  • Physical abuse
  • Domestic violence
• Modeling of sexuality
  • Sexual abuse
  • Modeling/exposure
  • Nudity or poor family boundaries
• How common are problematic sexual behaviors?
• Suggestions for professionals and parents and how to respond to behaviors.
• What should parents and caregivers do?
• Rules for younger kids
• How effective is therapy?
• How to find a therapist?
  • What training have they had in this area?
  • Child development expertise (including sexual development)
• Resources
  • Taking Action booklets (two booklets) – for children with problematic sexual behaviors (age 12 and younger) and one for 13+
  • Resources at the National Center on Sexual Behavior of Youth – really good resources for caregivers and parents.
  • National Center for Exploited Children—for kids to understand safety—teaching them safety skills to protect their own body
  • Amaze.org—videos for children
  • National Child Traumatic Stress Network
    • A.J.’s Story— A Book About Not OK Touches

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building