Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: How can prospective parents manage their thoughts and emotions while waiting to be matched with a child (especially in cases where the waiting period is a long one)?

Resources:

• Suggested Books for Adoption
• Coping Mechanisms for the Waiting (Article)
• Creating a Family Online Support Group

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering adopting from foster care or becoming a foster parent? Join us to discuss this topic with Dr. Lindsay Terrell, a pediatrician and Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Duke University Medical Center, as well as the Clinical Director of their Foster Care Clinic. She and her husband are licensed foster parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The common risk factors that foster parents and those wanting to adopt from foster care need to be aware of include physical, emotional, developmental, educational, and behavioral problems rooted in childhood adversity and trauma. 
• What types of trauma are foster kids exposed to? 
• What percentage of children in foster care have been exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally? Creating a Family’s Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for Parents
• Impact of trauma on physical health.
  • Foster parents and caseworkers often have little information about prior health history.
• Other common physical health issues that are common in kids in foster care that are not necessarily connected to trauma.
• Impact of trauma on mental health.
  • Those areas of the brain most affected by trauma, especially early trauma, are those involved in stress response, emotional regulation, attention, cognition, executive function, and memory. 
  • What types of behaviors are common as a result of trauma?
• Medication and over-medication of foster children and youth.
  • Research has found that the average number of psychiatric diagnoses and psychotropic medications prescribed were significantly greater for youth and children in foster care.
  • Children in foster care are likely to be kept on them longer than other Medicaid-enrolled children who are not in foster care.
  • What are psychotropic drugs, and why are they so often prescribed for children in foster care?
• Who has the authority to make healthcare decisions for foster children and youth?
• Sleep issues common to children in foster care.
• Food issues common to children in foster care. 
• Impact of trauma on a foster child’s education.
  • Children in foster care need educational advocates.
• Risk factors to consider for children already in the home. 
• Children can heal, and foster parents can make a difference!

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: On the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit Episode, it was mentioned that they thought this would possibly be the year it becomes refundable. Does that only apply to finalizations in 2025, or will it make previous adoptions (if within the 5-year tax credit range) refundable too? For example, an adoption finalized in 2023 but we haven’t used all of the tax credit available. Does the remaining amount become refundable, too? ~Oklahoma City, OK

Resources:

• Understanding the Adoption Tax Credit
• AdoptionTaxCredit.org
• Josh Kroll, Families Rising ([email protected])

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering fostering but are concerned about how it impacts the kids already living in your home? Join us for a conversation with Michelle Snyder, a foster, adoptive, and bio mom, and her son, Ben, to hear their stories of fostering and how it impacted their family. They are co-authors of Beyond Blood: How Being a Foster Brother Shattered My World and Rebuilt It.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Ben - How old were you when your parents sat you down to talk about fostering?
  • Do you remember how it felt to consider that a child could not safely live with his or her family?
  • What do you remember about the time when your family was preparing, taking classes, getting licensed, etc.?
• Michelle - When you and your husband felt the desire to begin fostering, what were your biggest concerns?
  • What considerations about fostering gave you pause, considering you had two young kids already in your home?
  • How did you and your husband handle those concerns or issues?
• Ben - Can you briefly share the story of your family’s first placement? We’d love to also hear how you think it impacted you and what you took from that experience for the coming placements. 
• Ben - What are some of the benefits or advantages you have seen in your development to young adulthood that you can directly trace to being part of this fostering and adoption journey?
• Character traits your family developed as you faced those challenges. Can you share a short example for a couple of them?
  • Compassion 
  • Perseverance
  • Ability to Adapt/Change
  • Perspective
• Ben’s diagnoses (“twice exceptional”):
  • What did you learn about yourself in that process?
  • How do you feel your unique combination of diagnoses equipped you well for being a foster brother? 
• Saying no to a placement
  • Learning how to say no when you know it’s not the right time or circumstance to say yes to a foster placement? How did you develop that skill?
  • Ben, what did you learn from your parents over the years about the value of knowing when to say yes, and when it’s okay to say no?
• The value of respite for your family and offering it to other foster families
• What practical tips can families implement to prepare for a new placement of a foster, newly adopted, or relative child in their home?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: How do I respond in the moment when my child is melting down, including physical or verbal aggression? 

Resources:

• Practical Tips to Help Your Kids Manage Stress
• The Ideal Response: How to Maintain Connection When Correcting Your Child
• How to Maintain Connection When Your Child Struggles with Anger

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Have you thought about adopting a baby, but long for the experience of being pregnant, or want to control the intrauterine environment? Join us for this fascinating discussion about embryo donation/adoption with Dr. Craig Sweet with Embryo Donation International, Mark Mellinger with the National Embryo Donation Center, and Beth Button with the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The IVF process.
• Remaining embryos.
• Donating to another person.
• How to find embryos available for donation?
• What is the medical process of embryo donation/embryo adoption?
• What is the success rate of having a baby through a donated embryo? What factors influence the success rate?
• What percentage of donated embryos are created via donor egg or sperm?
• What information is available about the embryos and the donors?
• Can you have twins via embryo donation if that is your preference?
• Does it matter how long they’ve been frozen?
• Are pregnancies conceived through donated embryos considered high-risk?
• Are there long-term health risks for children conceived via frozen embryos?
• What is the legal process for embryo donation/embryo adoption? 
  • Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys
• Is there a matching process? Do you have a choice regarding what embryos you receive?
• Do the people who donate the embryo continue to have a legal connection to the child? Do they have legal rights to see the child, contact the child, or take the child back?
• Openness after the birth? What is the relationship between the embryo donor and the person who receives the embryo and the child conceived? 
• Is the contact information shared between both parties?
• How much does embryo donation/embryo adoption cost?
• What factors influence the cost?
• Can you use your local infertility clinic to perform the transfer?
• LGBTQ+ and single parents
• What should you consider when choosing a clinic or organization to facilitate embryo donation/ adoption?
• How to talk with children conceived through embryo donation/embryo adoption about their conception?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: Is it important to keep a young child or baby’s birth-given name? How often, if ever, do expectant mothers let adopting parents name the baby in private adoptions? 

Resources:

• Understanding the Birth Parent's Experience
• Open Adoption
• Creating a Family Online Facebook Support Group

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you want to raise kids who you will like and want to hang out with as adults? Listen to this interview with Dr. Ginsburg, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and professor of pediatrics at U Penn’s Perelman School of Medicine. He is the author of Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond, and the founder of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Definition of Lighthouse Parenting (7 key elements):
  1. Stability
  2. Modeling & Knowing
  3. Communicating
  4. Protecting
  5. Resilience & Thriving
  6. Preparation
  7. Reliability
• Benefits of Lighthouse/Balanced Parenting
• Misunderstanding of attachment/trauma-sensitive parenting as permissive parenting.
• Self-care as the foundation of Lighthouse Parenting, “Stability: Finding Your Footing.” Why start there? Why is self-care critical to being a balanced parent?
• 6 key elements of self-care and examples of how each might look for parents and caregivers who feel they cannot prioritize self-care:
  • Love and friendships
  • Sleep
  • Exercise/Movement
  • Relaxation strategies
  • Express emotions
  • Recognize and reach for support
• Offer 1 or 2 practical tips for parenting with this lifelong bond in mind for parents with: 
  • Elementary-aged kids
  • Tweens and teens
  • Young adults (college or early career age)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I started the adoption process a few months ago and we just matched with an expectant mom. We are obviously excited, but we also know that a lot can happen or change between now and her due date. My question is two fold. (1) Although a lot of people in our life know we are going through the adoption process, who should we tell beyond our immediate families? (2) I am a small business owner. Since we are adopting a baby from another state, I am expecting to be out for at least a couple of weeks and then back at work on a limited schedule as my husband and I share caretaking duties. Internally, my team is already aware and on board with when this will happen, and they will handle client requests on my behalf while I am out. But at what point is it appropriate to share with my clients that this change is taking place? 

Resources:

• Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to Survive
• Signs that an Expectant Woman May Change Her Mind about Placing Her Child for Adoption
• Tips for Coping When Your Domestic Infant Adoption is On Hold

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you suspect (or know) that your child was exposed to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy? We discuss tips for how to best work with these children with Dr. Robin Gurwitch, a professor at Duke University’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and the Center for Child and Family Health.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How does prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs affect children at different ages?
• Oftentimes adoptive, foster and kinship families may not know specifically if their child was exposed in pregnancy to alcohol or drugs? How can a parent determine if their child was prenatally exposed?
• What are some of the more common signs, symptoms, and behaviors a parent might see at different ages?
  • Birth to age five
  • Elementary age
  • Tweens and adolescence
  • Young adults
• Parents, teachers, and other adults working with these children often don’t think about prenatal exposure because of the lag in time between the exposure and when the more disruptive symptoms appear. At what age do you see parents and kids beginning to struggle more?
• What are some of the common misdiagnoses that these children receive?
• How do the attention and focus issues common with kids who have been exposed to alcohol and drugs differ from ADHD? Is ADHD medication effective to improve attention in prenatally exposed kids?
• Is it common for children with prenatal exposure to be uneven in their abilities? For example, average to above average in verbal skills but substantially below average in other areas.
• What do we mean by “executive function” or “higher level thinking skills” and how does prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs impact this?
• We hear from parents that one of the most frustrating symptoms is not being able to learn from their mistakes. Doing the same thing even though they have been told not to. Not learning from cause and effect. Is this common with kids who have been exposed to alcohol and drugs during gestation?
• What are some practical tips for working with kids with prenatal exposure to help them thrive at home and at school?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building