In this episode of Cults and the Culting of America, Scot Loyd joins Haley while Daniela is away on her book tour. The conversation centers on Scot’s forthcoming memoir The God I Was Given: Looking for Faith After Losing My Religion, which blends personal memoir with philosophical and scholarly reflections on growing up in the United Pentecostal Church (UPC). Scot discusses the creative and emotional risks of releasing such a personal work, particularly the fear of being misunderstood or dismissed by current UPC members.

He shares vivid stories from his childhood in rural Arkansas, shaped by his religious grandmother’s influence and the paradox of being raised under a strong female matriarch within a patriarchal religious system. The discussion explores masculinity, gender socialization, identity loss after leaving a high-control religion, and the role of storytelling in fostering empathy and understanding. Scot emphasizes that leaving the church cost him his core identity as a “Pentecostal preacher,” but also gave him the opportunity to discover and cultivate other talents.

Throughout, Scot and Haley highlight the need for nuance in conversations about faith, deconstruction, and human identity, advocating for a broader cultural shift toward allowing multiple ways of being without harm.

Daniella's Links:

You can read all about my story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

 

For more info on me:

Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8

Daniella’s Tiktok: Knitting Cult Lady

Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ 

Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook

Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8

Other Podcasts

Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women

Scot's Socials

TikTok:  @thescotloyd

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thescotloyd

Haley's Tiktok

@nuancedmasculinities

Key Takeaways

• Book Launch & Themes: Scot’s book is a hybrid of memoir and analysis, examining his upbringing in the UPC and the philosophical implications of faith, identity, and place.

• Fear of Misunderstanding: He worries readers—especially current UPC members—may not engage with the book’s nuance, expecting it to be more condemning than it is.

• Nuance Over Binary Thinking: Scot stresses that his church experience included both positive and harmful elements, and that faith should be open to scrutiny.

• Matriarch in a Patriarchal World: His grandmother wielded significant influence despite strict religious rules limiting women’s roles, creating a confusing model of gender for Scot.

• Masculinity & Socialization: Haley and Scot discuss how men raised as “choosers” in patriarchal contexts may struggle with rejection, and how rigid gender roles harm everyone.

• Loss of Identity After Leaving: Exiting the UPC meant losing his defining role as a preacher, forcing a reevaluation of self and purpose.

• Storytelling as Healing: Scot sees storytelling as a vital tool for empathy and connection, more impactful than sermons or lectures.

• Values as Identity Anchor: Both discuss grounding identity in values rather than rigid self-concepts to avoid spirals and allow personal growth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Book Announcement 03:27 Fears and Expectations of a New Author 11:25 The Influence of Geography on Faith 20:04 Navigating Patriarchy and Matriarchy 29:25 Masculinity and the Burden of Choice 31:30 The Burden of Expectations 37:48 Navigating Identity and Masculinity 43:09 The Power of Storytelling in Healing 46:34 The Cost of Leaving a Religious Identity 54:35 Values Over Identity: A New Perspective

Produced by Haley Phillips