Date Your Wife

The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White hold nothing back in this week's Date Your Wife podcast where they tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants and 40 pounds of excess fat around your midsection sends a clear message to your spouse that you don't give a shit. *This is an encore presentation from April 3, 2018.*

The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White hold nothing back in this week's Date Your Wife podcast where they tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants and 40 pounds of excess fat around your midsection sends a clear message to your spouse that you don't give a shit. *This is an encore presentation from April 3, 2018.*

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Deep Communication Is Vital

• Communication is vital to your sanity and the health of your marriage. At the end of the day, it's about getting to a place where you can have hard conversations.
• Garrett & Danielle used alcohol to support them down that path. It opened up space where they could go deeper, beyond "surface" conversation. It also created the opportunity for them to experience sexuality with each other, even when they were arguing and fighting, which is a part of what kept them going.

QUESTION

What tools do you use that help you and your spouse have deeper conversations without setting off fireworks?

Point #2: When Alcohol Becomes a Problem

• In time, alcohol was no longer working for them. Garrett had become less patient and was quick to lose his temper with Danielle and their eldest daughter, causing him to decide to walk away from alcohol (at the time of recording this episode.)
• Danielle: On Date Nights, drinking was a treat and was fun for us. It allowed us to let go of the day and just relax. After work, I would come home and drink a glass of wine with dinner, but when that one glass turned into two or three, I realized I didn't really want to be that person drinking a glass of wine every night.

QUESTION

What habits have you taken on in your marriage that are no longer serving you? What would it take for you to make the decision to walk away from them?

Point #3: Dress the Part

• How you dress sends a non-verbal message of energy towards your spouse every single day. Date Night changed everything for Garrett. He was dressing in an old plaid shirt, but when he started dressing up, he knew that he looked good and sexy, which translated into energy and confidence.
• Danielle: I'm a fan of dressing to feel on point. What energy am I putting off? Like I don't give a shit? Instead of putting on my "mom" outfit, I'm going to throw on some jeans and some cute shoes just to make me feel like I have put myself together for the day. I feel better doing it, and I have a more productive day.

QUESTION

What changes are you willing to make to your wardrobe to reflect a sexier, more confident you?

Point #4: Straight Talk

• Garrett: There are a lot of women who only dress up once a week on Date Night. I'm not telling you you have to dress up like a princess every single day, all day long. What I am telling you is this: how you dress impacts the energy of what your husband sees when he comes home. If he comes home to the "frumpy sweatpant lulu lady in constant ponytails," there's going to be a lack of attraction.
• Garrett: A vast majority of the married men that I have met are in worse shape than their wives. Men, your body did not go to the shitshow bringing babies into this world. This is like pushing a pumpkin out of your penis. You're carrying bullshit weight, and your wife's not turned on about it either – not just because of your body, but because you don't feel powerful about the way you look.

QUESTION

Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: Would I be turned on by my appearance?

Point #5: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

• Garrett: Let's pretend that your body is a witness of your commitment to your wife, that what you've done to your body and how it looks is currently communicating more to your wife about your commitment to your marriage than anything you're trying to tell her.
• It's not about six-packs, bikini beach bodies, or being super shredded. At the end of the day, you've got to be on point about the way you feel about your body, and inside of that, you have to feel on point about how you package yourself. It's all about energy and what makes you feel confident.

QUESTION

How do you feel about your body?

Communication Challenge:

What can you do in the way you are currently presenting yourself to your partner physically? Write down something in the way you dress that would start sending the message, "Hey, I actually care about myself!"

Date Night Topic:

Talk about what you can do inside of your marriage that would allow you to isolate and discuss one or two of your problems as a couple.

Quote of the Week:

"To all you men who let their bodies go and never have to carry the children, you haven't had to get pregnant or carry the baby for nine months and then push a fucking baby out of your penis. You literally have no excuse. You want to get laid, you want to get connected, but what are you communicating to your wife when you come out of the shower in a towel with your extra 30-40 pounds? No matter what, your wife is not turned on by this. Your lights are getting turned down, and there's no show going on because you're not actually showing that you give a shit."

—Garrett J White

"Ladies, if you're in a good mood and your husband's in a bad mood, don't let him bring you down to that level. Understand it's probably not even about you. Walk a little sexy, be flirty, go kiss his ear a little bit, smile, rub up against him, turn on your charm. Whatever they're pissed about will go away – they just can't help it!"

—Danielle K White

Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny

• There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again.
• Garrett: Although we didn't get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice.

QUESTION

What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce?

Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person?

• The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit.
• Garrett: There's a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it's actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, "Am I with the wrong person?"

QUESTION

Is what you're posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy?

Point #3: It's Just How It Is

• Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don't even know they're surviving. The belief is, "This is just how it is."
• If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it's not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed.

QUESTION

Where in your world do you have the belief of "it's just how it is?"

Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement

• The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don't go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce.
• "What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?"

QUESTION

If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married?

Point #5: It's a Choice

• Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today.
• No matter what state your marriage is in today, there's another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there's a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose.

QUESTION

What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage?

Communication Challenge:

How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship.

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship?

Quote of the Week:

"There's a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it's the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work."

—Garrett J White

"People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it."

—Danielle K White

Previously Aired on April 30, 2019. In this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White are coming to you from the 38th-floor inside a corner suite of the Four Seasons in Las Vegas where they are celebrating Danielle's 36th birthday. This week's conversation is about how the unification of your standards with your spouse builds the ultimate standard, and how you can't pull that off unless you have actually connected with your own standard.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: Standards

• One of the gifts of being married is that we each come into it with radically different standards for life. We have standards about sexuality, parenting, making money, how we spend our time, etc., based upon our past, how we were raised, and our mindsets.
• Danielle: I do have a high standard based upon how I was raised, but what I also notice is that I'm an extremely experience-based, detailed person who makes me hold things to a different level or standard than most people.

QUESTION

What are some standards you hold yourself to?

Point #2: Tolerance

• We tolerate what our standards are. Where this ends up in collision is inside of marriage due to the different standards of each spouse.
• Garrett has a standard of emotional connection, which is leaving people better than when you first meet them, something that comes very naturally for him. Danielle, on the other hand, will tolerate almost no communication with other people.

QUESTION

What are some of the differing standards inside your marriage which have been a source for collision?

Point #3: It Takes Two to Tango

• Garrett: Without my standards for communication, Danielle would have limited her communication. She would never have launched a podcast in the hair industry, nor would she have launched her own salon or training company.
• Danielle: I hold the standard of where we live and what we wear. When I push to get nicer things in life, we push more in business. And when we push more in business, it not only affects our family, but it also creates multiple job opportunities for multiple families.

QUESTION

What have your differing standards created inside of your world?

Point #4: Own Your Standards

• Garrett: We take a stand for each individual to own their identity, where neither one is a doormat or a steamroller, but where we both come to terms with who we are. My standards say we do one thing, and Danielle's standards say we do another.
• As you come to own your standards, it allows you actually to embrace the standards of other people. Together, you create this ultimate standard as a couple. You begin to be more committed to each other, and out of that is birthed something deeper than love, which is respect.

QUESTION

How has owning your individual standards created the ultimate standard inside your marriage?

Point #5: Co-creation

• Garrett: The standards across both sides of co-creation have allowed for Danielle and I to build our brands, our businesses, and our family. The unique side about all of this is there are very few powerful couples taking a stand for marriage that works, which requires you to be clear in your standards.
• Danielle: I realize that in managing our own empires and managing a marriage – and managing it well – it's kind of unheard of. We each have huge visions for our brands, and we're proving that it can be done; that we can have those individual standards but also come together to create more as a couple.

QUESTION

What have you been able to co-create as a couple that you most likely never would have on your own?

Communication Challenge:

Where can you push in your relationship to become more together, to grow together, and unite as a couple?

Date Night Topic:

What can you create as a couple by uniting your individual standards?

Quote of the Week:

"The mix of standards between a married couple blend together to create the ultimate cocktail of creation."

—Garrett J White

"I think we push each other in all the right ways. I think that's what a relationship is supposed to be: pushing one another to a healthy place."

—Danielle K White

*Episode Replay from September of 2019.* The White's are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today's theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.

Click here to watch this episode on YouTube

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast…. Communication Point #1: The Hamster Wheel

• When artists inside of Danielle's programs tell her they don't have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel.
• "You say you don't have time and you're extremely tired…but you're not actually going anywhere, you're literally just looping and looping. You can't afford NOT to have time. When people say they don't have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new."

QUESTION

Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?

Point #2: False Lift

• When you're going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you're not sure how.
• You begin thinking, "If only I could go back to how things were before." As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed.

QUESTION

What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you?

Point #3: Collision

• The only way to change this is to identify that you're in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that's a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel.
• Once you identify that you're in the loop, you've got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It's about taking responsibility for where you are.

QUESTION

Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?

Point #4: Shut Down

• Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. "I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does."
• Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. "I don't do the weird thing, I don't go pouty, I just do nothing. It's shut off."

QUESTION

Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?

Point #5: The Stack

• Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is "open for business."
• During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, "I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing."

QUESTION

How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry?

Communication Challenge:

Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward.

Date Night Topic:

Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on.

Quote of the Week:

"If you don't have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it's gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave."

—Garrett J White

"I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, "We're open for business!"

—Danielle K White

warriorgreens.com

dkwstyling.com

*This is a previously aired episode from April 2018. Today's conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce

• When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, there's a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you.
• Danielle: Generally, women want men to take care of them. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to 'be the man' and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he's the one producing.

QUESTION

How does this ring true for you as a couple?

Point #2: Money is a Tool

• Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. We have friends who celebrate their success and use money as a tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they're broke.
• Danielle: There was a five year period where we were experiencing rapid growth, and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I've come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone – it's just a matter of me being comfortable with me.

QUESTION

Are you living in a scarcity or abundant mindset while being surrounded by your wealth?

Point #3: You Must Leap

• Garrett: In 2009, after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn't have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance, and something in my soul said, "You must fucking leap!"
• Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew that he was capable of doing and becoming so much more.

QUESTION

Where in your life have you settled?

Point #4: Don't Settle

• Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, it forces you to become a new man.
• Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there are consequences; but if I stay in the safe zone, then I can ride this out forever. If you're listening to this and you're feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it.

QUESTION

Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith?

Point #5: Team Work

• Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon, and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me.
• Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way.

QUESTION

What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other's growth?

Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation as a couple, and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off?

Date Night Topic:

Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date-Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life.

Quote of the Week:

"My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce, and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that, we use money production as a way to accelerate that."

—Garrett J White

"Be you at every level."

—Danielle K White

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Cell Phone Game Changer

• Cell phones have changed the game for kids, forcing kids today to grow up much faster, and at the same time, they're NOT growing up. They've gotten really good at being able to communicate via text, but they haven't learned how to commutate face-to-face.
• Danielle recalls waiting for boys to call her when she was in Junior High. She was nervous and sweating, hoping she wouldn't sound like a dork or stutter. Today, it's a matter of text, erase, edit, and send.

QUESTION

How has communication changed since you were a teen?

Point #2: Bed Time Shenanigans

• The bed-time routine at the White household can sometimes look more like a shit show, with their seventh-grader going into psycho mode while Garrett takes away her cell phone.
• Unbeknownst to Garrett, who is in the middle of a yelling match in one room, Danielle is in another room consoling their seven-year-old who has a pillow over her ears saying, "I hate this part!"

QUESTION

What does your bedtime routine look like?

Point #3: Old School Discipline

• When their oldest daughter back-talks Danielle, Garrett wonders if her mother would have tolerated that behavior. As a seventh-grader, Danielle remembers being backhanded by her mother while they were driving.
• As an eighth-grader, Garrett found himself wandering the streets of their new city for four hours after his mom kicked him out of the van for fighting with his siblings. That was before cell phones.

QUESTION

How do your disciplining methods differ from those of your parents?

Point #4: Jump Through the Windows

• Danielle: When kids are little, they operate on your agenda; when they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda – that's your window "in." In order to gain that connection, I'm constantly looking for my windows.
• Garrett: We have some traction in her world. The key is being present with what her issues are and what's going on in her world. Perhaps we actually do know what we're doing.

QUESTION

What can you do to be more aware of those little windows of opportunity to connect with your children?

Point #5: Navigating the Parental Waters of Divorce

• It was only a couple years ago that Garrett's nineteen-year-old son wouldn't talk to him. Today, he is an integral part of the Warrior landscape as he and Garrett forge a new relationship that has recently included bringing Garrett's ex-wife and her family into the picture.
• A family intervention during the Warrior Woman event in the summer of 2018 proved not only healing but life-transforming. Garrett and his ex-wife were able to take radical responsibility, let go of stories, and come to a peaceful place, demonstrating that anything is possible.

QUESTION

How are you navigating the waters of parental divorce?

Communication Challenge:

Discuss the challenges cell phones have brought into your family.

Date Night Topic:

How can you better support each other in how you parent? Brainstorm different ideas and strategies and choose one or two to begin implementing.

Quote of the Week:

"The emotional fortitude of children isn't what it used to be. Kids today are growing up intellectually very quickly, with great articulation and communication, but emotionally they're going backward."

—Garrett J White

"Because you are so mad and so bitter, and are not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it is ultimately holding you back."

—Danielle K White

* This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from May 2018. Being married can be a complete shit show AND amazing… all at the same time! While most marriages end up in sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have committed to creating something a little bit better than that and a bit more fun. Join them in this week's podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all-important topic of communication.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark

• You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don't fight, and things are generally good, but there's no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together…and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel.
• Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom-tailored design jackets.

QUESTION

When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel?

Point #2: Sugar & Spice

• Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it's the spice they're trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I'm talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations – it's everything!
• Danielle: There's a lot of spice in our marriage, and we collide a lot with our personalities – both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice, for me, is "I fucking hate you," which turns into "I fucking love you."

QUESTION

How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy?

Point #3: Love Notes

• Making daily deposits into your family's life is part of living the Warrior's Way, which is part of something called the CORE 4. Men typically don't know how to communicate their feelings and don't send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands.
• While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he's having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language.

QUESTION

What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes?

Point #4: Give and Take

• Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband.
• Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first, I wasn't allowing space for him to do that.

QUESTION

Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them?

Point #5: Dance With Me

• Garrett: As you can tell, we're still working on this, which is the ability actually to communicate with and understand the language of our partner.
• Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: 1- appreciate the love language they receive in, and 2-learn to give the love language that the people we're married to want to receive.

QUESTION

What does your daily dance of communication look like?

Communication Challenge:

Danielle: Garrett needs to be told, "I love you," but my communication style is different. How about you? Is your communication style verbal or silent? What about your spouse's? Do you think one is wrong and one is right?

Date Night Topic:

For women, what is your husband's love language, and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife?

Quote of the Week:

"I'm essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning."

—Garrett J White

"We'll argue about a topic, and one of us has to reach over to the other side and reciprocate eventually. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home."

—Danielle K White

*Encore presentation from January 2018* Join co-hosts Danielle and Garrett J White with Week Two of the Date Your Wife Podcast, in which they share two VERY different views of how they were raised with money (or without) and how that has affected their relationship as a married couple.

In This Week's Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters

• Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level.
• Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school.

QUESTION

What kind of background were you raised in that has effected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?

Point #2: The War of Spending Money

• Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business, which he still struggles with, as they throw each other under the bus in how they spend money.
• According to Danielle is being a selective cheap bastard until her perspective of her role as a Stylist rather than a Hobbyist she was able to change.

QUESTION

If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?

Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars

• Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he makes money Danielle should put out for sex any time he wants.
• Women want to feel safe and secure, so it becomes hard to have sex with him when he's no longer attractive as the Producer, and the man in the relationship doesn't feel like he's providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally.

QUESTION

What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?

Point #4: Learning from What Didn't Work: The Cancun Contract

• With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 sex sessions which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot at what would work for them based off of their own love languages for 3 weeks, learning that using money as a manipulator didn't work but ended to bigger breakthroughs later on.
• Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy, looking at money as a tool, not an asset by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle matters to him.

QUESTION

Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to give yourself permission to receive without guilt?

Point #5: I Want You To Want To

• Hold yourself to a higher standard in order to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves.
• At one point, Garrett made a huge realization that sometimes the man is the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that she is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value of investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and invested in each other.

QUESTION

How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?

Date Night Topic:

What improvements can be made in regards to the topic of money?

Quote of the Week:

"I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn't know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment."

—Garrett J White

"If you want to be treated like a Queen, you've got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when your husband invests in you. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn't fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling his needs. If he's putting in effort, take the gifts he's giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs."

—Danielle White

*Encore presentation from August 28, 2018.* Garrett and Dannielle discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week's episode.

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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation

• Danielle: I think it's crucial to have time together to reconnect so that when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated.
• When your relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other.

QUESTION

How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary is important to you?

Point #2: Mommy Guilt

• Danielle: Mommy guilt happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you're excited to get away, and you end up having a great time, there's always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation.

• I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize that your kids are going to be just fine.

QUESTION

How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money?

Point #3: Hiring Help

• Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents?

• The entire game from a guy's perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you're going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free, and that is not part of the family.

QUESTION

How do you and your wife feel about hiring help other than your family"

Point #4: Cashing In Chips

• Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. "I watched your kids, so now you have to watch mine." "I brought you dinner, so you have to bring me dinner, too." There's always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends.

• There's no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of, "I will do this for you if you do this for me."

QUESTION

How often do you use your parents and friends instead of hiring someone?

Point #5: What's Important to You?

• Garrett: Some guys say, " I don't have enough money to get a babysitter!" I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car, and you'll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you.

• Space away from the kids creates perspective and power; perspective on your children, perspective on you as a couple, and perspective on your life.

QUESTION

What are your priorities?

Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help.

Date Night Topic:

Talk about the places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for them.

Quote of the Week:

"When you move away from working in the family and in the relationship, and start to work on the relationship and on the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power."

—Garrett J White

"All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It's not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what? You're not the only one that can parent your children.

—Danielle K White

*Encore episode from January 2019.* This week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White's are attending Tony Robbin's Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they've been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony's events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit

• Personal development hasn't always been at the top of Danielle's list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees.
• "Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out."

QUESTION

What experiences have you had with personal development events?

Point #2: Date With Destiny

• After viewing Tony Robbin's "I Am Not Your Guru" on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony's approach actually made sense to her. "It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit."
• As fate would have it, Tony's son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony's next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away.

QUESTION

Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny?

Point #3: How Big Can You Dream?

• Danielle's experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the biggest impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted.
• From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some major decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some huge shifts for them that year.

QUESTION

Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something?

Point #4: Give Yourself Permission

• Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family.
• Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain.

QUESTION

Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts?

Point #5: It's in the Numbers

• The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she's got to know her numbers better than she does.
• Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught," As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do about the numbers that you see."

QUESTION

What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do about them?

Communication Challenge:

Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you'd like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back.

Date Night Topic:

Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment.

Quote of the Week:

"The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you're either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise."

—Garrett J White

"It was an "against all odds" situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us."

—Danielle K White