Date Your Wife

Married co-hosts of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences with you each week as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication.

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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….Communication Point #1: Some Like it Hot

• Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she's a Taurus. "They're actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way."
• In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the 'dating filter' before she sends them to Garrett: "If we were dating, would I say this?"

QUESTION

How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters?

Point #2: Don't Poke the Bear

• Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode.
• Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you're in luck; if I say nothing, you're shit out of luck.

QUESTION

What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other?

Point #3: Feeling Wanted

• Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses.
• Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it's more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me.

QUESTION

How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you?

Point #4: Direct Communication

• Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language.
• I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so.

QUESTION

In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication?

Point #5: Running Man

• Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn't commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail.
• About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in.

QUESTION

What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage?

Communication Challenge:

Inside your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting .your marriage?

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about this topic: "In order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted."

Quote of the Week:

"Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you're not committed to your marriage, or to the person you're married to, direct communication cannot happen."

–Garrett J White

"As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of the book, Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

The conversation of Parenting is the theme of this week's episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, where the Whites discuss accountability, checklists, belief systems, unsolicited advice, and loving your kids no matter what.

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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….Parenting Point #1: Morning Chaos

• Garrett describes their eleven-year-old daughter as a morning psychopath. She sets her alarm to go off up to nine times every morning just so she can wake up and get out of bed.
• Their seven-year-old daughter is very much into routines. It's almost as if she goes into auto-pilot in the morning and is good to go as long as everything is set up perfectly for her in advance.

QUESTION

How are your children similar? How are they different?

Point #2: Unsolicited Advice

• Garrett is very committed as a parent to teaching the 'right' thing to his children. He's had people reach out to him offering unsolicited advice about their parenting styles.
• Danielle: Everybody is super judgy about parenting styles, and at some level, every parent feels like they have fucked up their kids.

QUESTION

How do you handle unsolicited advice when it comes your way?

Point #3: I Love You No Matter What

• If Danielle had to choose only one thing to teach their children, it would be accountability coupled with love. "If you could embed accountability and love into a kid, I think that would solve the world's problems."
• Years ago, Garrett began telling his daughters, "I love you, no matter what." No matter what they do or say, he told them he will always love them.

QUESTION

If, as a parent, you could only teach your children one thing, what would that be?

Point #4: Boxes and Checklists

• Just like in education, there's a box that people try to put their kids into of 'this is what it looks like to be successful." And anything that doesn't fit inside that box, they consider inaccurate or not right.
• For most parents, they're always trying to get it "right" with their children, so they always feel guilty. And because they never get it 'right' based on a checklist that never ends, they don't focus on the actual belief systems they want to instill in their children.

QUESTION

How are you keeping your children inside a box?

Point #5: Core Beliefs

• Garrett: You can teach your kids all kinds of tactics, but what are the important mindsets and skillsets that you 'should' teach your children? There are plenty of people who know how to do the dishes, yet are unable to produce in life.
• I'm convinced that what people actually learn as children and what they take into their adult life is driven by the values and beliefs their parents instill in them, both by what they say and by what they watch their parents do.

QUESTION

What are the core beliefs that you are brainwashing your kids to believe that are empowering them as people?

Communication Challenge:

What are the actual belief systems that matter to you, and that you are instilling in your children? What are the beliefs about themselves and the world that you are consciously depositing into them?

Date Night Topic:

On your next Date Night, have a conversation about how you want your children to remember your interaction and love connection as a couple.

Quote of the Week:

"I was blown away when I got married at how horrifically unprepared I was to be a married man."

–Garrett J White

"She's not mine to manipulate and control; I'm there to guide her, lead her, show up, and do the best I can as a parent."

–Danielle K White

Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

The topic of money is this week's conversation inside of the Date Your Wife podcast. The unique dynamics inside of a married relationship create a very difficult game for many couples when it comes to the sticky topic of money.

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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Catch-22

• Back in the day, Danielle hated Garrett because he was working so much. But she didn't hate the business because that's what was paying the bills. "I got to this place where I felt Garrett loved the business more than he loved me."
• Garrett: Men can control what happens in business more than they can control what happens at home. It's easier to be the King in business than it is to be the King at home.

QUESTION

Gentlemen, have you lost your crown? What are you going to do to get it back?

Point #2: Split in Two

• Many women who out-produce their husbands are in this space of: How do I deal with my husband who is not being the man? I'm dominating him in business and trying to decide if I should get a divorce.
• Garrett: When a man allows his wife to split the bills, it splits his power and creates a bit of submission in a weird way. Men, at the primal level, must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility of "I must pay the bills independent of my wife."

QUESTION

How do you as a couple feel about this?

Point #3: Wake-Up Call

• At one point in their marriage, Danielle hid how much money she was making. She split up her bank accounts to create a safety net for herself because she wasn't sure if their marriage was going to work out.
• When she got triggered about something, she revealed to Garrett that she had made $30k the previous month which served as a wake-up call in the form of a big two by four straight into his balls.

QUESTION

Ladies, why do you hide your money from your husband?

Point #4: Show Me the Money, Honey

• There's an artist inside Danielle's Big Money Stylist network who is outproducing her husband in a massive way. "I love my husband and I want to be more sexual, but I'm just not attracted to him."
• Garrett: This is a sticky situation, and there's not a simple one-cut solution. When Danielle was making more money, her tolerance of behavior by me went down, and her desire to connect with me sexually also went down.

QUESTION

How is this dynamic affecting your marriage?

Point #5: Friday Night Fights

• A recent fight between Danielle and Garrett would have been the end of their marriage a few years ago. But this time it compelled them and opened them up.
• Danielle: When your foundation is rocky and an explosion happens, it's hard to build that back up. Now, we can have a fight and come back and talk about it because our foundation is more solid.

QUESTION

What condition is the foundation of your marriage in?

Communication Challenge:

Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with your wife about the dynamics of money. What is the connection to the attraction for you and the money you're making or the lack of money you're making?

If you're a man and not paying the bills, have that conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. If you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompting that you need to ultimately rise.

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about what you can do to create a stronger foundation inside of your relationship. What does that look like for both of you?

Quote of the Week:

"There are very few men on this planet who are actually ok with their wives out-fucking producing them. The girl owns the money card AND the vagina card. She owns the victory, the gina, and the money."

–Garrett J White

"When you weren't my money, you weren't my honey. When I hold all the control, there's no chemistry."

–Danielle K White

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Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

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With shots of tequila in their system and amidst the flirtatious back-and-forth bantering that easily doubles as foreplay, the White's jump into another episode of the Date Your Wife podcast with a conversation around Garrett's favorite topic, Sex. For the new listeners, Danielle explains QQP (Quickie, Quickie Pornstar) and they have an honest and revealing discussion about keeping married sex spicy. ________________________________________________________Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….SEX Point #1: If You Don't Mop the Floors, Somebody Else Will

• Danielle: Many women approach sex with a "let's just get 'er done" attitude. If guys go long enough with only a simple clean up job, they're not going to be satisfied.
• Garrett: Danielle's sex game in the last six months has gone through the roof. As a woman, she has literally blown my mind.

QUESTION

Where has mopping the floors in your marriage gotten you?

Point #2: Avoiding the Shithole of Married Sex

• Danielle: Sometimes you have to act the part and play the role during sex. Entertain that idea and have fun with it.
• Just because you're laying there with your legs spread open doesn't mean that's attractive. When you're married, if you expect to have that chemistry and spark, play the fucking game.

QUESTION

What is the condition of your sex life? What are the facts?

Point #3: Girls Just Want to Have Fun

• Danielle: I'm happy that my man is fulfilled When you have fun with sex, you man is feeling fulfilled. It's fun for him and it's fun for you – it goes both ways.
• Pretend you're dating and ask yourself, How would I act? What would I do? Even after years of marriage, it becomes fun to entertain that thought and go with it.

QUESTION

Ladies, how do you feel about yourself when you just let yourself go and have fun?

Point #4: The Sex Game

• Garrett: Many men have this faulty understanding about sex. They want to have sexual connection with their wife and they think that making money and investing in the children will get them that.
• At the end of the day, she wants sexual connection but she also wants something else – she wants attention. If you give that to her, she will support you in the sex game and it will bring your marriage together.

QUESTION

What are you expecting from your wife yet at the same time neglecting to give her?

Point #5: Patterns

• Garrett has this pattern of putting the girls to sleep and engaging in their nighttime routine, while Danielle professes that she's not a very routined mom: "Brush your own teeth, say your own prayers, tuck yourself in."
• Garrett: There's a lot of dad-guilt that comes when you work a lot. I do spend time with the girls in the mornings but I find I sometimes use them as an excuse to not have to be intimate with Danielle at night.

QUESTION

What patterns are in need of changing in order for you to make more time with your spouse?

Communication Challenge:

Gentlemen, if you want your floors more than mopped, what are you doing to create the environment for your wife to want to shine your floors?

Date Night Topic:

Have a converation about patterns that you see in your marriage and what you can begin doing today to change a pattern in one area of your life that will benefit your marriage.

Quote of the Week:

"The moon was out, the doors on our deck were open, and it was "Go Time."

–Garrett J White

"In a relationship, if you say, "I don't want to [have sex]," it's honestly like starting a new workout. Put in the work now and eventually it gets easier. Before you know it, it's actually kind of fun."

–Danielle K White

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Head over to Amazon to pick up your copy of Be the Man. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

Danielle and Garrett are back inside the studio this week after leading 300 women through the powerful inaugural event, WarriorWomen. Knowing they have been called to serve, they are on a momentum high inside the Warrior Time Warp where change happens quickly when one is willing to be vulnerable and submit to the processes and evolutions, which Garrett and his family demonstrated themselves during a two-hour gut-wrenching and liberating experience. warriorbook.com, dkwstyling.com, wakeupwarriorwoman.com

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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Vulnerability

• Danielle: Emotion is getting feelings out, vulnerability is digging deep and exposing who you really are.
• Garrett: I defined vulnerability as a weakness for a long time. What I've come to know is that there's strength in vulnerability

QUESTION

How has your definition of being vulnerable shifted over the years?

Point #2: Emotional Closure

• Garrett: Married at a very young age to my first wife, we experienced a lot of chaos and life was very difficult. After 18 months, she said she was done, I ran, and we ultimately divorced.
• For 16 years, I didn't know how to be in their world; I didn't know how to show up for my son. I unplugged and ignored. We never had any emotional closure to what happened.

QUESTION

Where in your world have you not experienced emotional closure and it's time for that to happen?

Point #3: Submission Brings Freedom

• Garrett: We submitted to a process of breaking down the hard shell.
• Diving into this, I had no fucking idea what would happen, but what I did know was that our experience would ultimately help millions of people.

QUESTION

What do you know you want to be released from that has held you in a prison?

Point #4: Letting Go

• Danielle: The recurring theme that Kristi brought up was, "I felt like I wasn't good enough for you. And now our son is with you – and again, I'm not good enough."
• I felt the entire room was lighter, that everyone had released something.

QUESTION

What do you experience when you let things go?

Point #5: The End. Garrett

• Garrett: Danielle was key to the reuniting of Parker and me.
• "Stop pretending like he's your son and that you're his father. You're not. Right now, you're just trying to decide if you can be friends."

QUESTION

Where in your world do you need to change how you view yourself?

Communication Challenge:

What does it mean and look like in your marriage to be vulnerable?

Date Night Topic:

Date Night is one of the places you can get to that real, raw, and vulnerable place within your marriage. You have the space to talk without kids or others around.

Have a conversation this week during Date Night and inside of that, get real, raw, and vulnerable – even if it means having an argument or collision.

Quote of the Week:

"One of the most intense two hours of my life was during WarriorWomen where I was on stage with my ex-wife, our son, my mother, and Danielle."

—Garrett J White

"You didn't lose Parker, this is just the next chapter where all of us get to be a part of his life."

—Danielle K White

The White's discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week's episode.

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Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation

• Danielle: I think it's crucial to have time together to reconnect, then when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated.
• When our relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other.

QUESTION

How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary important to you?

Point #2: Mommy Guilt

• Danielle: It happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you're excited and have a good time, there's always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation.
• I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize your kids are going to be just fine.

QUESTION

How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money?

Point #3: Hiring Help

• Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents?
• The entire game from a guy's perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you're going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free and I not part of the family.

QUESTION

How do you and your wife feel about this?

Point #4: Cashing In Chips

• Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. I watched your kids so you have to watch mine; I brought you dinner so you have to bring me dinner too. There's always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends.
• There's no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of I will do this for you if you do this for me – then you owe me.

QUESTION

How often do you use your parents friends instead of hiring someone?

Point #5: What's Important to You?

• Garrett: Some guys are saying I don't have enough money to get a babysitter. I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car; you'll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you.
• Space away from the kids creates perspective and power -perspective on your children, on you as a couple and perspective on your life.

QUESTION

What are your priorities?

Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help.

Date Night Topic:

Talk about places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for it.

Quote of the Week:

"When you move away from working in the family and inthe relationship, and start to work on the relationship and on the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power."

—Garrett J White

"All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It's not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what. You're not the only one that can parent for your children."

—Danielle K White

The White's celebrate their 15 year anniversary in this powerful and entertaining episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast where they have a conversation around the all-important and ofttimes tricky topic of Money inside a marriage relationship.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast….Money Point #1: Save the Date

• Danielle: For years, we celebrated our anniversary on the 22nd of August until six years ago when I found our old wedding book and was so shocked to see the date of August 21st.
• Garrett: We're grown ass adults and every year we text our mothers to see what date we got fucking married, though we do remember the first place we had sex after we got married.

QUESTION

How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary important to you?

Point #2: When Visions Collide

• A crucial turning point for Garrett was in having a collision with Danielle about investing in blinds for his Warrior HQ – a vision inside his business that he could see but that she could not.
• For a long time, Garrett didn't see the point in the purses that Danielle loves buying, but now he does. Danielle: It's creative expression which transfers over to confidence in life, business, and in everything else.

QUESTION

How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money?

Point #3: Leading a Double Life

• Danielle: After everything was ripped from us, it took about four years to rebuild that trust. And in that four years, everything felt unsafe and inconsistent to me so I finally said, screw you. I'll do my thing, you do yours.
• As women, we look to our husbands for safety and security. When that goes away, there's this lack of trust. I questioned every little move Garrett was making because I was building back up the trust from years of his patterns of inconsistency with money.

QUESTION

Gentlemen, are you providing security and safety for your Queen?

Point #4: The Awakening

• Garrett: After giving Danielle the responsibility of handling the bills because I got so stressed out about my inability to pay them, she began taking on that stress. I realized I was using my wife as a shield from me having to deal with shit.
• My wife started channeling heavy levels of masculine energy which had us fighting at home a ton. I'm like fuck, I'm coming home to a dude. I realized I was the one who had created this dude the moment I decided to turn the queen into a shield. I had an awakening.

QUESTION

What needs to shift in your relationship when it comes to being the man and leading the battle so you can take your wife out of that role?

Point #5: Reality Check

• Garrett: Gentlemen, if you're going to go make the money, then you manage the money. All of you fucking men out there who are expecting your wife to split the fucking bills with you, fuck you.
• Women want a purpose to produce but they don't want to feel the pressure of having to be the provider. There are far too many men who are okay with the idea that they can sit back and lean on the production power of the Queen and only build themselves far enough to meet halfway.

QUESTION

Ladies, how do you feel about this?

Communication Challenge:

Gentlemen, ask yourself this question: Who would I have to become such that my wife could choose to work and choose to produce if she wanted to?

Date Night Topic:

On your date this week, take a trip down memory lane and recall the events leading up to the day the two of you met. What impressed you about each other? What have you grown to love about each other through the years?

Quote of the Week:

"At the end of the day, I've yet to meet a powerful producing woman who doesn't want her man to raise the sword and go to war so she can rest at times."

—Garrett J White

"I got to this place where I wanted to be in the relationship with Garrett because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to."

—Danielle K White

You're in for a blushing hot time with the White's in this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Danielle and Garrett hold nothing back as they explore the reality of faking, fantasy, and payloads, and share intimate secrets and tips in this completely transparent and entertaining conversation about Garrett's favorite topic, sex.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast…. SEX Point #1: The Faking Game

• Danielle: Every girl fakes it. If she says she never fakes it, she's like the guy who says he never masturbates. We get to this point where we don't care if we have an orgasm – we're just putting on a good show.
• Garrett: Here's the deal: I have faked it. I don't care if Danielle fakes it. I actually like it and enjoy it more when she does because I feel like we've both scored.

QUESTION

How often do you fake it?

Point #2: Go For the Goal

• Garrett: Do you think porn has completely twisted the thought of orgasms? We know this woman who never had an orgasm during her 13-year marriage. And she didn't even know she wasn't having an orgasm.
• Danielle: You have to be a little selfish in bed and go after what you want. If she didn't have an orgasm, it's her fault. Even with the dullest sexual encounters, if I want it, I'm going to get it. You gotta be focused; you gotta go for the goal. You treat it like a sport, ladies. You get on it and accomplish your goal.

QUESTION

Ladies, how do you communicate what you want to your guy?

Point #3: The Warm Up

• Danielle: If there's a warm-up, girls are focusing on "holy shit, I'm not going." If there's not a warm-up, we're focusing on "I'm going to go after the goal and get it." If we get warmed up, it's going to happen. But sometimes when we're tired, we won't submit to the warm-up, and then we're all about a quick one.
• Guys like the warm-up because the girl just submits. But here's the thing. You can't go in aggressively for the warm-up because then it gets creepy; then we're thinking this is just gross, let's just have a quick one. So, guys, you really have to seduce us.

QUESTION

Guys, what type of warm-up does your spouse respond to the most?

Point #4: Payloads

• Garrett: If a guy hasn't gone for a while, say it's been five days, and there's been no masturbation, he has a bigger shot. The bigger the shot, the more intense the orgasm.
• Danielle. I think I purposely don't go sometimes because I want the build up. I think it's more of a control thing for myself. I can have a bunch of shitty pairs of shoes, or I can have a couple of really good ones.

QUESTION

What is your preference?

Point #5: Screenshots Matter

• Garrett: Women, you have to give your man a screenshot. Danielle sends me photos of her looking super sexy in her swimsuits. She doesn't send me naked photos or breast shots, she sends me super intense and very sexy photos that I put on my cell phone.
• If we're at the beach and another woman walks by wearing a thong, I'll get triggered, but my mind immediately goes to the preloaded content from my wife in her sexy swimsuits or of her in the bedroom ironing her clothes wearing nothing but panties.

QUESTION

Ladies, how has the idea of creating screenshot moments for your guy enhanced your confidence?

Communication Challenge:

Begin having conversations about the following topics and discover how these two strategies can enhance your realtionship:

1) The Faking Game 2) Delivering Sexy Screenshot Content

Date Night Topic:

Use one of your next Date Nights to create some Sexy Screenshot content for each other.

Quote of the Week:

"I'm okay with the idea that Mystery Man is the guy who gets you revved up because, at the end of the day, I'm the one who's scoring goals around here. You can be a fan in the stands all day long, but I'm the one holding the trophy."

—Garrett J White

"Garrett has learned the art of holding back a little, and now I feel safe about giving him screenshots. I believe it creates content and spice in a marriage. If you don't create content for your guy, he's going to find content somewhere else."

—Danielle K White

Dark Garrett and Susan are introduced for the first time in this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, where married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White have a conversation around the topic of communication. They share how alcohol and therapy assisted in opening up the lines of communication between them, and how reserving Date Nights exclusively for each other continues to serve as a vital tool of connection in their marriage.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast…. COMMUNICATION Point #1: Sexual Communication

• Garrett and Danielle express different personalities in their marriage at different times. While Dark Garrett and Susan cannot exist in the same space, the dynamics of these personalities brings spice to their relationship.
• Danielle: Garrett's a Gemini, so I feel like he's always being genuine to the Gemini two-faced. Is it "Happy, fun Garrett?" Or is it, "I'll rip your face off Garrett?" Garrett: Susan is a little more free-spirited and is also very aggressive. She throws champaign glasses in 5-star restaurants and smashes them on the ground. We end up on the beach where she loses her high heels and she's making sand cookies. I love Susan. She's rough, but I love her.

QUESTION

What are the different personalities that surface in your relationship?

Point #2: Alcohol and Communication

• Garrett: Traditionally, people struggle with communication. At some point, there's a line that can be crossed and also a line that must be crossed for individuals to get into a place of communication. Alcohol is one piece that some couples use.
• In order for two people to be able to take their relationship further in their communication, both couples have to open up more. Alcohol has played into allowing Danielle and I to have deeper levels of communication.

QUESTION

What is your experience with alcohol use as a couple to enhance and deepen your communication?

Point #3: Alcohol and Sex

• Danielle: Did you know that some couples have a hard time having sex without drinking? For me, good sex is when I'm totally sober. I know Garrett loves it when Susan shows up and does more of the porn star sex. But for me, with sober sex, I have better orgasms even though the sex may seem very plain Jane and traditional.
• I've talked with many women who agree: If we're super hammered, we can't get off. If I come to a point where I'm super drunk, I will have fun playing the role of Susan for Garrett. I don't really care if it's beneficial for me that night because, at that point, it's more fun just to have fun.

QUESTION

What role does alcohol play in your sexual intimacy?

Point #4: The Strategy of Therapy

• Danielle: Garrett had suggested for the longest time that we do therapy. I said fuck you, I'm not broken, I'm not doing therapy. I was really stubborn about it. I was like, you work on yourself, I'm good. With divorce on my mind, and feeling like I hadn't done everything I could, I surrendered and agreed to do therapy.
• Therapy was really interesting for me. I was afraid that by sharing my problems, I would be exposed. I then realized that a lot of people have the same fucking problems in different variations. In going to a therapist, I felt like I finally had a sounding board where it was safe to share things.

QUESTION

What role has therapy played in strengthening your marriage?

Point #5: In the Beginning

• Danielle: I felt like we had good communication when we were dating. That's one of the things that I liked about Garrett. We would sit and talk for hours and hours, which was the first time I had experienced anything that. I felt so comfortable with him. We lost that when things got a little spicy in our marriage.
• Garrett: The first business I launched after we got married, I was so focused on work that I remember Danielle, but at the same time, I hardly remember her. We spent the first ten years of our marriage just growing up. We were both re-growing as individuals and having to re-choose each other as a couple over and over and over again.

QUESTION

How has your communication changed and evolved from when you first began dating?

Communication Challenge:

What about therapy? What about alcohol? What about something else? Have an open conversation about the possibility of bringing these or other strategies into your marriage to enhance and deepen the levels of your communication.

Date Night Topic:

Take on different personalities during your next Date Night to add some spice to the mix.

Quote of the Week:

"If one of us is not in Dark Garrett or Susan, is there an attraction that exists between simply Garrett and Danielle? Or is it the dynamic of Susan and Dark Garrett that actually brings about the spice?"

—Garrett J White

"As long as we have our Date Nights and our family days, I feel like we're able to have bits of time where we're able to stay connected."

—Danielle K White

On the heels of their return from their first eight-day family vacation in Europe, Garrett and Danielle delve into the spectacular topic that tends to come from sex: Parenting. In today's episode, the White's take us behind the scenes and give us a peek into what it looks like to manage their household, they give us tips for finding the perfect-for-your-family babysitter or nanny, and share stories of the magical and not so magical moments in Europe.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast…. PARENTING Point #1: It Takes a Village

• Garrett: Let's talk about communicating instructions to people who take care of the kids. This is one of the big things about parenting. Most women have a big-time struggle with leaving their kids with anyone. In fact, we have tons of friends who will only go on a Date Night if a family member can watch their children. Danielle is at the top of the list when it comes to anxiety surrounding this issue.
• Danielle: When we go on vacation, I still get nervous. Like every mom, I start thinking thoughts like, "Oh my God, what if the plane goes down!? " Ultimately, you can't live your life like that. You can't not go anywhere or not do anything, or even not go on a date. I came to the place where I refused to let that hold me hostage. And I felt like I was being held hostage by my own anxiety and choice. Like anything, the more you do it and the more you surrender to it, the more it becomes less scary.

QUESTION

Ladies, how do you feel about babysitters watching your children?

Point #2: Finding That Magical Connection

• Garrett: Outside of our family watching the kids, we would never go out because we didn't have a babysitter. I was more concerned about having a babysitter so that we could connect. I knew if we didn't connect and spend time together, which is Danielle's love language, there was no chance for sex and connection to take place, which is what I wanted. So, I found a resource to help us find someone: care.com.
• Danielle: After going through a few people that weren't a good fit, I remembered that when I hire someone at my salon, instead of sending me their resume, I ask them to send me a video of why they think they're a good fit for our salon. So that's what I decided to do with care.com. Before we did that, we received over 100 emails in response to our ad. Once we asked for a video, we only received one response, which was from the girl we hired.

QUESTION

What are you looking for in someone who watches your children? What's important to you?

Point #3: Topnotch Pay for a Topnotch Experience

• Danielle: You can't expect to have someone delivering you a topnotch experience if you're only willing to pay them an hourly rate. With Tori, our nanny, I told her we're going to be paying her well, and what I really want her focus to be on is our kids. You think you're hiring somebody to be a mom, but really you're just hiring somebody to take care of your kids and to make sure they're feeling loved.
• Garrett: I'm willing to pay someone a salary just to guarantee we have two date nights every week. I talked Danielle off the ledge many times about going into the game of salary. This person needs a guarantee. They need to feel like they matter and that they count in the equation. I watch a lot of couples expect the world out of someone but give them no guarantees in return.

QUESTION

How do you feel about the idea of a salary vs hourly rate for your nanny or babysitter?

Point #4: Happy Wife, Happy Life

• Danielle: Like most women, when I work I just want to come home to a clean house. So the days I work behind the chair are the days I have my cleaner come in. It alleviates a lot of stress for me. Some people might think it's ridiculous to pay a housecleaner to come twice a week, but if you look at the overall picture, and if it makes you a happier person, it's totally worth it.
• Garrett: I needed for Danielle not to be stressful. She used to be stressed out all the time about the cleaning. It would affect our intimacy and our communication, and we'd fight over all sorts of shit. I got to the point where I thought this is not worth it. Having a cleaner come in twice a week? Totally worth it.

QUESTION

Gentlemen, how are your expectations creating more stress for your wife?

Point #5: Creating Memories

• Danielle: I had an amazing experience with my kids. Time is a big thing for me. Vacations are important. There are little moments and experiences that you have on vacation that you can't have at home. To me, it's really important and it's the one thing I fought for in our marriage. Vacations create a lot of quality time and memories with family where sometimes it feels like you're in a dream or a fairytale.
• And then there are moments when you're traveling with kids and you say you're never fucking bringing them anywhere, ever again! These stupid assholes don't appreciate it! It's a weird balance of oh my God, life's amazing, we're in a movie and, we're never bringing the kids again on another vacation! Still, the good memories outweigh the bad.

QUESTION

What are your thoughts about taking family vacations?

Communication Challenge:

What are your love languages? If you haven't read the book, grab a copy and begin reading it together. If you have read it, what are you doing to meet each other's love language?

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about where the two of you are going for your next Sexcation.

Quote of the Week:

"We pulled off the herculean effort of all time. We not only went to Europe for the first time on vacation, we also did something a little out of the ordinary for us: we took our children."

—Garrett J White

"Ladies, sometimes you just have to put your foot down for what you want when it comes to making family memories for life. And just remind yourself when you're on that vacation – and sometimes forcing fun with your kids – that you're building memories."

—Danielle K White