Many of us were told from an early age that, be it at school or in life, "you learn from your mistakes". But is this actually true?

我们中的许多人从小就被告知，无论是在学校还是在生活中，“你从错误中吸取教训”。但这真的是真的吗？

The short answer is 'yes' – failure can be a teachable moment. But learning from our mistakes is, in reality, very hard because we don't like to fail. It doesn't feel good, so we react to failure in impulsive and emotional ways, like giving up on a task prematurely, telling ourselves we don't care whether we succeed, or finding fault with the task itself. This is self-protective, according to Hallgeir Sjåstad, a professor of psychology and leadership at the Norwegian School of Economics. "Most of us want to think of ourselves as competent and capable", he says, so when we fail "it poses a serious threat to our self-image".

简短的回答是“是的”——失败是一个可教的时刻。但实际上，从错误中吸取教训非常困难，因为我们不喜欢失败。感觉不好，所以我们以冲动和情绪化的方式对失败做出反应，比如过早地放弃一项任务，告诉自己我们不在乎我们是否成功，或者对任务本身挑剔。根据挪威经济学院心理学和领导力教授 Hallgeir Sjåstad 的说法，这是一种自我保护。他说：“我们大多数人都想认为自己有能力和能力”，所以当我们失败时，“这对我们的自我形象构成了严重威胁”。

Fortunately, there is research to suggest that there are some strategies to help us overcome the emotional barriers around failure. One of them is to adopt a third-person perspective. Instead of asking "Why did I fail?", we could ask "Why did Sam fail?", for example. Multiple studies by psychologist Ethan Kross at the University of Michigan show that adopting a third-person perspective helps to soften our negative emotional reactions, allowing us to look at failure more objectively.

幸运的是，有研究表明，有一些策略可以帮助我们克服失败带来的情绪障碍。其中之一是采用第三人称视角。例如，与其问“为什么我失败了？”，不如问“为什么 Sam 失败了？”。密歇根大学心理学家 Ethan Kross 的多项研究表明，采用第三人称视角有助于缓和我们的负面情绪反应，使我们能够更客观地看待失败。

A second strategy involves offering advice to others who may be in the same position as us. This strategy led to better levels of motivation and academic success in the test groups – involving both adults and children – that were asked to give advice based on their own failures. Professors Eskreis-Winkler, Fishbach and Duckworth found that the satisfaction of helping others "forces people to engage with their experience and what they have learned".

第二种策略涉及向可能与我们处境相同的其他人提供建议。这种策略导致测试组（包括成人和儿童）的积极性和学业成功水平更高，他们被要求根据自己的失败提供建议。 Eskreis-Winkler、Fishbach 和 Duckworth 教授发现，帮助他人的满足感“迫使人们参与到他们的经验和所学中”。

The writer Samuel Beckett once said: "fail again, fail better". But it now seems that we should be saying: "fail again, fail smarter". Failure is an inevitable part of life, but by learning to overcome the emotional barriers around it, we may find the road to success is a little easier to navigate.

作家塞缪尔·贝克特曾说过：“再失败一次，失败得更好”。但现在看来，我们应该说：“再次失败，更聪明地失败”。失败是生活中不可避免的一部分，但通过学习克服周围的情感障碍，我们可能会发现通往成功的道路更容易驾驭。

词汇表

teachable moment 施教时刻，值得学习的时刻
impulsive 冲动的
prematurely 过早地
succeed 成功
find fault with 挑剔，找岔子
self-protective 自我保护的
competent 有能力的
capable 能干的
pose a threat to 对…造成威胁
self-image 自我形象
strategy 策略
overcome 克服
barrier 障碍
adopt a perspective 采用…视角
third-person 第三人称的
soften 缓和
objectively 客观地
in the same position as 处境相同的
motivation 积极性
satisfaction 满足感
engage with 直面
inevitable 不可避免的
navigate 驾驭，穿越