Diverse Thinking Different Learning

Welcome to today's episode where we are tackling the important topic of empowering black neurodivergent learners and connecting with their community. Our guest, Jason B. Allen, National Director of Partnerships for the National Parents Union, brings over 19 years of experience in education to the table. Through his work, Jason advocates for inclusive and supportive environments that uplift students, families, and communities.

In our conversation, Jason sheds light on the stigma surrounding learning disabilities and shares his personal journey as both an educator and a student with exceptionalities. He emphasizes the importance of amplifying voices and fostering parent and family engagement in education. Jason highlights the need for dedicated educators who recognize issues and work towards practical solutions.

We discuss the significance of community engagement and the role it plays in shaping school culture. Jason emphasizes the need for intentional partnerships and resources to support educators and empower students. Through his work with the National Parents Union, Jason advocates for informed decision-making and inclusive educational practices.

Join us as we explore actionable strategies to create inclusive learning environments and empower black neurodivergent learners. From promoting family engagement to fostering community partnerships, this episode provides valuable insights to drive positive change in education.

• [2:26] - There is a stigma associated with learning disabilities.
• [3:31] - Jason describes his own experience as an educator and having his own exceptionalities as a student.
• [5:37] - Just because we don't acknowledge something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. We need to use our voices.
• [7:20] - Parent and family engagement is crucial. Jason shares how even at pre-planning, he was able to connect with families and better understand them.
• [9:29] - It takes dedicated educators to see the issues and present solutions.
• [10:50] - Many schools and school districts send surveys and gather reports and feedback from families. But where does that data go?
• [12:01] - If we are not grounded in family and community engagement standards, then we will continue to believe that the social and emotional development of children does not impact academic outcomes.
• [13:19] - Learning does not stop or end at school. It is ongoing.
• [15:31] - School culture needs to change. When black students enter a school, what do they see and is it reflected in the curriculum?
• [17:40] - Make the data real.
• [19:22] - How are we being intentional about making sure that students are present and know they belong?
• [20:31] - Education is power.
• [21:37] - Get connected with the people in the community who are doing the work. Partnership is key.
• [23:20] - It is challenging, but it's not impossible.
• [24:39] - When our teachers are not well, we have to be realistic about how impactful they are.
• [27:04] - We can't ask educators to do more if they don't have the resources in order to do the thing we're asking them to do.
• [30:52] - Jason is the National Director of Partnerships for the National Parents Union.
• [32:08] - In many communities, parents don't have the information in order to make decisions for their children.
• [35:05] - A lot of times, we bring our beliefs into what we do, but we need to be intentional and inclusive.
• [37:10] - We cannot be gatekeepers that prevent black students from the best education they can receive.
• [38:20] - Jason explains how to get connected with the National Parents Union and the free resources they offer.

Jason B. Allen is the National Director of Partnerships for the National Parents Union. His work resides in the Organizing and Partnership Department where his focus is on elevating partnerships, programs and campaigns amplifying parent voices. He has worked in education for over 19 years as a teacher, administrator and leader serving students, families and communities. As a long time storyteller, Jason shares his experiences through his company, educational entities, llc and helps others develop their stories through digital storytelling including podcasting, blogging, advocacy and other public speaking platforms. His life work is centered on his family's foundation, Lillie's Foundation, supporting grandparents and seniors raising school aged children. He is a longtime advocate for male engagement helping found Black Males with Initiative in 2001 and continuing this work throughout his professional career. His first book, Suits, Swagg and Success shares his experiences, strategies and solutions to engaging Black males.

• National Parents Union Website
• Work with NPU
• Email: [email protected]

• The Educator's Voice Blog
• Lillie's Foundation for Change
• Episode 132: Social Justice - A Framework for Equity in Education with Charles A. Barrett
• Fostering Social Justice in Our Youth
• Episode 37: Literacy - A Social Justice Issue with Resha Conroy
• Episode 3: Neuropsychological Evaluations Through a Cultural Lens with Dr. India Fernandez

• Get on our Email List
• Book a Consultation
• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider
• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

Welcome to a crucial conversation that strikes a chord with every parent of a middle schooler (myself included!), and even more so for those navigating the unique challenges of children who think and learn differently. Today, we're joined by the amazing Phyllis Fagell, whose focus and expertise are on guiding children through the tumultuous middle school years.

Middle school isn't just a phase to endure; it's a pivotal time that sets the stage for future success. Phyllis shares invaluable insights into why middle school matters and how parents can empower their children not just to survive but to thrive during this critical period. From tackling homework struggles and managing distractions to understanding the complexities of social dynamics, this discussion with Phyllis in addition to her books, supports parents in setting their middle schooler up for success. So, whether you're a seasoned parent seeking new strategies or braving the middle school journey for the first time, this episode will help transform the way you navigate this transformative time with your child.

• [3:13] - Why does middle school matter? Phyllis discusses why this topic was important for her to write about in her books.
• [4:29] - Rather than looking to help kids survive this tumultuous time, we need to seek out ways to help them thrive.
• [5:53] - It is much harder to teach certain skills after middle school when the stakes are higher.
• [7:26] - One concern that parents have is when middle school students wait till the last minute to work on something they need to do. This is not willful.
• [8:58] - What could it look like to support a middle schooler with organizing their homework?
• [10:38] - Phyllis shares some research on distractions and anxiety created by phones and devices during homework time.
• [12:14] - Another important consideration is the difference between a teacher's role and a parent's role.
• [14:39] - Creating balance and reasonable expectations is so important.
• [15:40] - Phyllis describes some of the misconceptions kids in this age range have about themselves.
• [17:36] - Check in with the school if something is standing out that is getting in your child's way when it comes to homework.
• [18:36] - There are two main ways that we do kids a disservice.
• [21:09] - Listen carefully to why a child wants to quit something.
• [22:59] - Why are they struggling? The answer to this question is important.
• [24:37] - Feeling connected socially is crucial, but friendships can be hard to navigate during these years.
• [28:31] - The lessons learned and experiences during these years are not because there's something wrong with the child.
• [31:20] - Phyllis's book is a great guide for parents to help kids during these tough years.

Phyllis L. Fagell is a licensed mental health therapist and certified school counselor in Maryland. She's the author of Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond – and How Parents Can Help and Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times. Phyllis also is a frequent contributor to The Washington Post and other national publications, including CNN and U.S. News & World Report, and her ideas have been shared in outlets including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The New Yorker, The Chicago Tribune, and NPR. Phyllis lives in Bethesda, Maryland with her husband and three children.

• Phyllis L. Fagell's Website
• Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond – and How Parents Can Help by Phyllis L. Fagell
• Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times by Phyllis L. Fagell

• 4 Ways Parents Can Reframe a Tween or Teen's Social Setbacks
• Episode 107: How to Motivate Kids Who Couldn't Care Less with Dr. Ellen Braaten
• Episode 56: The Disintegrating Student with Dr. Jeannine Jannot

Congruence App (free trial): Congruence is a self-coaching tool to help teens thrive in academics, sports, and social situations. Email [email protected] and mention Diverse Thinking Different Learning in the subject line for access.

• Get on our Email List
• Book a Consultation
• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider
• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

Adolescence is a pivotal time in a young person's life. The adolescent brain, while it has developed in size, is not done growing and changing. In this episode, I explore the complexities of neurodiversity between biology and experience in shaping the developmental journey of neurodivergent youth.

It's time to challenge conventional narratives surrounding developmental conditions and embrace a more inclusive approach rooted in developmental diversity. Throughout this episode, we'll uncover strategies to empower young people who learn and think differently, shedding light on the unique challenges and vulnerabilities they face during adolescence.

We can support teens through these years of big emotions, impulsiveness, and vulnerability on top of the increasing academic and societal pressures they face as they navigate their development into adulthood.

[1:40] - The adolescent brain is not the same as an adult brain.

[3:35] - What is pruning and why is it an important component of brain development?

[4:43] - Many parents struggle to understand the emotions and impulsiveness of their teenagers.

[6:05] - The developmental process is not uniform.

[7:09] - Adolescence is also a time of vulnerabilities, particularly for neurodivergent youth.

[8:06] - Due to brain development, teens will also respond to stress differently from adults.

[9:11] - There are things that can help support brain development like exercise and prioritizing sleep.

[11:02] - Everyone's brain works in different ways. Teens need to understand this as their own brain is developing.

[12:27] - Continued support, particularly in areas such as executive functioning, is essential as teens transition into adulthood.

• The Teen Brain: 6 Things to Know

• Anxiety and Depression in Adolescents

• Episode 160: The Sleep Deprived Teen with Lisa Lewis

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

Many families struggle knowing what to do when their child or teen suddenly starts failing school and academics or lacks motivation to learn. These challenges can be difficult to navigate as a parent, especially for a parent of a neurodivergent child.

Today's guest has an incredible resource that turns this challenge into an opportunity for parents and families. Dr. Jacqueline Olivier is the founder of Blue Marble Learning Center and she has created an Academic Success Playbook. This isn't a one-size-fits-all guide. These are personalized and customized guides based on the learning needs of the student and what type of support the parents and families need. Not only that, but these playbooks are interactive and include referrals and even more resources to give parents the information and support they need to help their children thrive.

In today's episode, Jacqueline explains how the playbook works, what she takes into account when customizing them for students, and how impactful they have been for neurodivergent children and their families.

[2:34] - Jacqueline explains what she does in her role at Blue Marble Learning Center.

[3:57] - We see the best outcomes when a team of people works together to help the student.

[5:06] - The most impactful part of Jacqueline's work is helping students understand how they learn.

[7:15] - Parents don't have a guide for parenting and helping their children. And for neurodivergent children, they have to help them navigate a world that was not built for them.

[8:49] - Many times, parents see the results of an evaluation and they think the diagnosis is the golden ticket. Jacqueline explains this gap.

[11:20] - What does a success playbook look like? Jacqueline designs these for parents after a diagnosis. It is an individualized and interactive document.

[13:55] - Jacqueline describes a scenario with a student who benefited by having a playbook.

[17:50] - Every parent's situation is different. Some will be able to dive into understanding their diagnosis and some will not be able to. The playbook is customized per family.

[22:35] - The playbook also gives parents and families an awareness and understanding of what to expect in the school environment and personalized strategies.

[26:06] - Jacqueline creates a personalized playbook and provides more resources and referrals for parents and families.

[31:02] - When Jacqueline began offering academic playbooks, she learned just how needed this resource is.

Dr. Jacqueline Olivier is the founder of Blue Marble Learning Center. She has an extensive background in educational therapy, working with neurodivergent students, curriculum design, teaching, consulting, instructional leadership, and senior administration in independent and start-up schools. Jacqueline's areas of expertise include working with children and teens who have been diagnosed with dyslexia, ADHD, Asperger's, language-based learning disabilities, test-taking anxiety, academic anxiety, dyscalculia, processing disorders, and executive functioning challenges. She provides academic support in mathematics, writing, entrance exams (ISEE, SAT), college essays, and other subjects.

• ChildNEXUS Provider Profile

• Blue Marble Learning and Consulting

• Email [email protected]

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

When it comes to writing, there is so much happening behind the scenes. It is so much more than sitting down, grabbing a pencil, and putting words on paper. In today's episode, we'll explore the challenges students face when it comes to writing. From motor skills to executive functioning, today's guest explains the complexities of the writing process.

Shanna Trombetta is an Educational Therapist and she joins the Diverse Thinking Different Learning Podcast to help us better understand not only the writing process and the challenges students face, but also ways we can support struggling students at home and in the classroom. She shares practical strategies and insights to empower parents and educators in guiding children through the whirlwind of creativity, skill, and determination that is writing.

[3:16] - A lot of learners who come into Shanna's practice struggle with writing.

[4:24] - Shanna describes some of the things that are commonly a struggle when it comes to writing. There's so much happening at one time.

[5:39] - It is common for students to have a lot of great ideas, but the mechanics of writing hold them up, and they wind up not writing anything.

[7:32] - One way to support kids with writing is by providing them with a structure.

[9:37] - People who don't struggle with executive functioning can typically create their own structure. But many kids need to be shown how to organize their information.

[11:24] - When she works with students, Shanna helps them develop and use tools.

[13:08] - What is background knowledge and why is it important for writing?

[15:01] - Shanna describes writing around themes to help with structure.

[16:57] - Chunking is a great strategy that helps students take one step at a time.

[19:01] - Keeping a checklist as they write is another tool that can alleviate the stress of keeping track of things in their mind.

[21:00] - Assessment data is really helpful for Shanna so she knows to target some of the spelling patterns that are a challenge for a student.

[23:16] - So often students know what they want to write about. Strategies to get the information out are not "cheating."

[26:22] - Writing is an area where many students experience stress. Make it fun.

[28:30] - While struggling, it is hard to remain motivated. Shanna shares some ways to keep students positive while they're learning.

Shanna Trombetta is an Educational Therapist affiliated with the Association of Educational Therapists, dedicated to serving the community of Los Angeles. Shanna holds a Master's in Educational Psychology and a B.A. in Special Education/Psychology from Marist College. Additionally, she holds an Educational Therapy Certification from UC Riverside, a CLEAR credential from the California Commission of Teacher Credentialing (grades K-6), and CLAD certification. She serves on the International Dyslexia Association Chapter of Los Angeles Board and is a Child Nexus member. With a rich background spanning over two decades, Shanna has excelled as a classroom teacher, literacy coach, private homeschool educator, and currently, as an Educational Therapist, offering a depth of expertise in her private practice. Specializing in supporting neurodiverse children, addressing dyslexia, and navigating language-based disabilities, Shanna is unwavering in her dedication to creating inclusive and effective learning environments. In her free time, Shanna treasures moments spent with her two daughters, husband, and Australian labradoodle. A passionate book enthusiast, she often finds solace at the beach with a captivating read.

• ChildNEXUS Provider Profile

• Trombetta Therapy Website

• Email: [email protected]

• Ready, Set, Write! Engaging Reluctant Students

• Writing Disorders in Children: The Language Link

• Coping with Executive Function Deficits in the Context of Writing

• Assistive Technology for Students with Learning Disabilities

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

Welcome back to the Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast where we are diving into a topic that is especially important for families raising children and teens who learn and think differently. Today's episode is particularly special as we explore empowering children and teens with ADHD and other learning differences by helping them understand their brains and embrace their unique gifts.

I am joined by Drs. Fredriksen and Rothman, pediatric neuropsychologists from Maryland, who bring a wealth of knowledge and insights into this often misunderstood area. They share their journey of writing their recent book Different Thinkers: ADHD, a resource designed specifically for elementary-aged children and their families. We learn about the motivation behind creating this resource and the importance of not keeping diagnoses a secret from children but rather empowering them with knowledge about their developing brains.

Throughout our conversation, we discuss the misconceptions surrounding ADHD and other learning differences, and the need to focus on strengths and not limitations. Drs. Fredriksen and Rothman share the struggles that children face in a world not built for different thinkers and offer some strategies for families to celebrate differences.

[1:50] - The book Different Thinkers: ADHD is unique as it is written for elementary-aged children. They didn't have a resource for families, so they made it themselves.

[4:26] - Adults tend to underestimate children and how much they realize that they learn differently. Don't keep their diagnosis a secret.

[6:51] - We need to take the more effective path of demonstrating how a learning difference can be a gift.

[8:34] - There are a lot of misconceptions around diagnoses.

[10:28] - Attention levels wax and wane for the average neurotypical person, but there is a difference between those experiences and those who have ADHD.

[12:30] - Standardized tests and questionnaires are sometimes frowned upon, but they have a helpful purpose.

[14:10] - Kids can and should learn that their brains are still developing and may develop differently than their peers.

[17:20] - The world was not built for different thinkers.

[22:51] - Research shows that children with ADHD receive more negative feedback than their peers.

[24:55] - Different Thinkers: ADHD is intended to be a resource for families to talk to their child about a diagnosis. Drs. Rothman and Fredriksen suggest ways to use it.

[27:21] - Children can read and listen about the characters in the book who are experiencing ADHD like they are.

[30:06] - Celebrating differences is key.

[31:31] - The work that neuropsychologists do is important, but it isn't always accessible to everyone.

Drs. Fredriksen and Rothman are both pediatric neuropsychologists in Maryland who specialize in comprehensive evaluations for children, adolescents, and young adults with a wide range of conditions that impact learning, behavior, and/or socioemotional functioning, providing families with a road map to support their children. They recently published their first book, Different Thinkers: ADHD, and share an Instagram account (@neuropsychmomdocs). Dr. Fredriksen trained at Princeton University and the University of Massachusetts Boston. She lives with her family in Arlington, Virginia. Dr. Rothman trained at the University of Michigan and Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology. She lives with her family in Washington, D.C.

• Email Dr. Yael Rothman

• Email Dr. Katia Fredriksen

• Instagram @neuropsychomomdocs

• Episode 25: Raising Differently Wired Kids with Joy and Confidence with Debbie Reber

• Episode 137: Helping Kids Understand Their Amazing Brains with Dr. Liz Angoff

• Episode 38: Understanding the Gifted and Twice Exceptional Child with Dr. Nicole Tetreault

• ALPS Children: A Steep Climb - But Well Worth It!

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

Did you know that most children with ADHD are given medication, offered some counseling, and nothing else? Today's episode is a game-changer, especially for parents navigating the challenges of ADHD because today's guest wants to change this. Dr. Hokehe Eko joins us to discuss her unique approach, one that focuses on empowering children with ADHD without solely relying on medication.

Dr. Eko believes it's time to shift our focus from merely treating symptoms to understanding the whole child. In our conversation, Dr. Eko shares her insights into how trauma and lifestyle factors impact a child's behavior and cognitive development.

Instead of rushing to medication, Dr. Eko advocates for lifestyle and environmental changes that support a child's overall well-being. From nutrition to hydration, she discusses practical steps parents can take to empower their children and create a supportive environment for their growth. You may be surprised by the impact of small lifestyle changes and how they can positively influence a child's behavior and family dynamics. While there's no "quick fix," these small incremental changes not only benefit ADHD symptoms but the well-being of the whole family.

[2:21] - Dr. Eko is a pediatrician and a big advocate for empowering our brains. She has a different approach to looking at the whole child.

[3:55] - During some training, Dr. Eko had the realization of how things could change. She shares the story of what inspired her approach.

[5:55] - Trauma makes changes in the way our brains work and our behavior.

[8:30] - You can never just assess symptoms.

[10:50] - Before jumping to medication, Dr. Eko looks at simple lifestyle and environmental changes.

[13:03] - If we feed the brain what it needs and what it craves, we are healthier overall.

[14:34] - Behaviors are difficult and there isn't necessarily a "quick fix." However, lifestyle changes could benefit the overall health of the child more than medication.

[17:18] - Dr. Eko discusses the impact of nutrition on behavior.

[20:29] - If your child is healthier, the whole family is better overall.

[22:10] - Change one thing at a time. All the small changes build up.

[23:26] - Dr. Eko shares some suggestions on how to increase the amount of water you and your family drink that also gets the child on board.

[26:24] - It is a process. Take it one day at a time and do things as a family.

[28:36] - Dr. Eko emphasizes the importance of executive functioning skills and what parents can do to support their children.

[31:00] - Have a conversation with your child and explain what is going on. They need to understand as they form their identity.

[32:36] - Dr. Eko offers a support group and community and the information can be found on her website. She also shares the details of her recent book.

Dr. Hokehe Eko is a Mom, Board Certified Pediatrician, TedX Speaker, and CEO of Glow Pediatrics PLLC. She partners with parents of children with ADHD/Autism to address the root causes of their children's behaviors so they GLOW with health from the inside out. She is also CEO of Kits of Hope, a 501 (3) organization, sharing love, hope, and dignity with children in foster care.

• Brain Power with Dr. Eko Podcast

• LinkedIn

• Children's Love Letters: A Pediatrician's Guide to How Your Child Spells Love by Hokehe Eko MD, MPH

• Episode 149: Supporting Children and Teens' Mental Health Via Nutrition

• Episode 169: The Science of Exercise and the Brain with Dr. John Ratey

• Episode 148: How Sleep Affects Academic Performance and Mood

• 8 Ways Teenagers Suffer When They Don't Get Enough Sleep

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

In this episode, we explore how children and teens who learn and think differently perceive mistakes and failure. Dr. Robyn Silverman, AKA the "Conversation Doc," renowned child and teen development specialist and best-selling author, guides us through the complexities of navigating tough conversations about failure with young people. Drawing from her book, How to Talk to Kids About Anything, Dr. Robyn underscores the importance of reframing failure as an opportunity for growth and learning.

In a society driven by achievement, children with learning differences often struggle with fears of failure and making mistakes. Dr. Robyn emphasizes the need for parents and educators to foster an environment where children feel safe to take risks and embrace imperfection. From reframing academic setbacks to celebrating incremental progress, she offers practical strategies for instilling a growth mindset in children and teens.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Robyn encourages parents to reflect on their own reactions to failure and perfection. Mistakes are an inevitable part of the learning process and that goes for parents, too. By de-emphasizing outcomes and focusing on the journey of growth, parents can empower their children to develop resilience and self-confidence.

[2:50] - In her book, Dr. Robyn walks families through having tough conversations with kids and teens.

[4:18] - Kids with learning differences often have worries about messing up. We need to have conversations about failure and mistakes.

[5:30] - The only way we grow and learn is if we take risks and try even if we fail.

[6:51] - We are in an achievement-focused culture and it makes it hard for kids to understand that mistakes are actually opportunities.

[9:27] - When it comes to academics, seeing failure doesn't feel like an opportunity.

[10:49] - It is crucial for kids to come to an understanding that their performance does not reflect who they are.

[13:47] - A great example of mistakes as opportunities is learning how to play a musical instrument.

[15:45] - Kids of certain ages rely on very concrete thinking. Take photos of accomplishments and even the mistakes for them to see how they have improved.

[17:10] - The only person we can compare yourself to is yourself and this is challenging for kids and teens.

[19:22] - Parents need to reflect on how they react to "perfect" and "imperfect" performance and behavior.

[21:46] - Parents are also going to make a ton of mistakes and that's okay.

[23:27] - See the value, even if the achievement hasn't been made.

[24:45] - We don't want to convey the feeling that negative consequences are the result of failure. This leads to kids not trying.

[27:46] - Show kids stories of amazing and successful people who have experienced failure before their fame.

[29:13] - Deemphasize the outcome and focus on the process.

[31:24] - What is your definition of bringing out the best in your child? It might need to be reframed.

Known as the "Conversation Doc," Dr. Robyn Silverman is a child and teen development specialist and author of the bestselling book, How to Talk to Kids About Anything, as well as the host of the popular podcast of the same name. She is a cofounder of the Powerful Words Character System, which gives educators the talking points they need to help children become kind, responsible citizens of the world.

Dr. Robyn has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show and Nightline and has been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, CNN.com, and many other publications. She lives with her husband, two kids and a fuzzy rescue dog who loves sunning himself on their front steps, even in the summer heat of North Carolina. Find out all about the book at DrRobynSilverman.com.

• DrRobynSilverman.com

• Dr. Silverman on Instagram

• How to Talk to Kids About Anything by Dr. Robyn Silverman

• How to Talk to Kids About Anything Podcast

• How to Talk to Kids About Learning Disabilities with Dr. Karen Wilson

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

Would you describe your child as passive, quiet around others, uncomfortable in social situations, a child that avoids eye contact, and maybe hesitates to try new things? Does your child excessively rehearse what they want to say or how they want to behave? Some parents may wonder if this is shyness or something more. Is it social anxiety?

Today, we're digging into the topic of both. Is it shyness or social anxiety and how do you know? And what can we do to help?

Dr. Fran Walfish is an absolute expert in this field and in our conversation today, she not only offers some clarification on the differences between shyness and social anxiety, but also shares things we can do to support these children better and when to seek professional help and guidance. She is a wealth of knowledge and I am thrilled for you to hear our conversation.

[3:21] - First, shyness is an innate trait. It's something human beings are born with. A child comes into the world already predisposed with a particular temperament.

[4:42] - Shyness can sometimes look like anxiety. There are so many ingredients that shape a person's personality and behavior.

[6:36] - The child should be the one to dictate the comfort level, rather than it being driven by the parent's fear of embarrassment or shame due to the child's shyness.

[8:31] - Certain things can lead to social anxiety.

[10:20] - Not all shy people have social anxiety.

[12:11] - Well-meaning parents may feel embarrassed or exceedingly worried about a child's shyness.

[14:37] - Selective mutism is a confusing presentation of social anxiety.

[16:58] - It is crucial for parents not to pressure kids. It could lead to them withholding even more.

[19:12] - The parent who is trying to discern the difference between social anxiety and shyness needs to be non-judgmental.

[21:35] - Create some reasonable separation and assure your child that you are there.

[23:01] - Just like adults, children want to be seen, acknowledged, validated and accepted - flaws and all.

[24:40] - What can parents and teachers do to help children with social anxiety? Dr. Walfish shares some tips.

[26:25] - Expect some successes and failures.

[31:21] - If parents see their child crying and sobbing in most social situations, it is time to search for a referral.

Dr. Fran Walfish is a leading child, couples, family, relationship, and sex psychotherapist and author in Beverly Hills, CA who treats celebrity couples, Hollywood's elite, and LA's poshest residents. In addition to her thriving private practice, Dr. Walfish was on clinical staff in the Department of Child Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for 15 years. She was a Beverly Hills school psychologist and served a 4 year-term as Chair of the Board of The Early Childhood Parenting Center founded at Cedars-Sinai, Los Angeles. Dr. Fran was the host and co-star on WE tv series, Sex Box. Dr. Walfish also appeared as an on-camera expert psychotherapist in 15 episodes on The Robert Irvine Show, CW/Tribune Networks. Dr. Walfish is a featured expert in Parents magazine "Ask The Experts'', and formerly in her weekly Q & A in The Beverly Hills Courier. She is an expert contributor to several news outlets and publications.

Dr. Fran's book, The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building A Better Bond with Your Child, is represented by William Morris Endeavor Entertainment and published by Palgrave Macmillan/St. Martin's Press. Simon & Schuster published her original chapter Why Empathy Matters in their all-star psychologists anthology book Tough Love in 2018. Dr. Walfish has been quoted in NY Bestselling books authored by Arianna Huffington, Randi Zuckerberg, and Josh Shipp.

• DrFranWalfish.com

• How Social Anxiety Differs From Shyness and How to Help Your Child

• Episode 170: Understanding Selective Mutism with Dr. Danielle Cornacchio

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.

If your child is afraid to speak around certain people, like adults or strangers, or in certain situations, like at school, they may be struggling with selective mutism. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder characterized by an inability to speak in certain settings and to certain people. It is commonly misunderstood as shyness or a child could even be misdiagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. But what exactly is selective mutism and how can we tell the difference?

Today's guest helps demystify selective mutism and offers a lot of insight into ways we can help children thrive.

Dr. Danielle Cornacchio is the newest member of ChildNEXUS! She is a clinical child psychologist specializing in evidence-based treatments for childhood anxiety, OCD, and disruptive behavior disorders. Dr. Cornacchio has particular expertise in behavioral treatment for childhood selective mutism.

In this episode, Dr. Cornacchio explains what selective mutism is, but perhaps more importantly, she explains what it is not. She takes the time to describe what treatment for selective mutism might look like and emphasizes the importance of parent education and participation. Listen to learn more about this often misunderstood condition.

[2:27] - Selective mutism is classified as an anxiety disorder. It is a consistent failure to speak in certain situations despite speaking fine in others.

[4:03] - Selective mutism is not Autism Spectrum Disorder or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It is often misunderstood or misdiagnosed.

[7:13] - Kids with selective mutism will typically speak around their parents and siblings at home but won't speak at school.

[11:24] - Information and research on treatment for selective mutism is very new but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the most beneficial.

[14:04] - Dr. Cornacchio shares some of the ways selective mutism shows up including learning situations where talking is not necessary and something called contamination.

[17:58] - Therapy sessions once a week are not enough if parents and family members are not also working with a child at home.

[21:14] - It's human nature to want to protect your children and reduce their stress, but to overcome challenges, children need to step out of their comfort zones.

[24:13] - Dr. Cornacchio demonstrates the steps in early therapy sessions with children with selective mutism including behavior descriptions and labeled praise.

[26:34] - The type of question that we ask a child who is ready to speak really matters.

[28:11] - Giving children ample time to answer a question can be uncomfortable for parents.

[29:29] - After 5 seconds of wait time, if the child does not answer, Dr. Cornacchio demonstrates how to rephrase the question and try something different.

[31:47] - But what happens if the child still does not answer a question after different strategies?

[33:29] - Teachers do not have the luxury of trying questions multiple times and waiting for answers. But there is a Plan B for teachers to not ever give up on a question.

[37:37] - It is important to connect with a provider, but it is challenging to find one that treats selective mutism.

Dr. Cornacchio completed her PhD in Clinical Science in Child and Adolescent Psychology at Florida International University and her predoctoral internship training at the UCLA Semel Institute. She currently serves as a clinical instructor at the UCLA Psychology Department. Dr. Cornacchio founded and currently directs The WaveMind Clinic in Los Angeles, a clinic dedicated to providing specialized care to children and families with a variety of mental health needs, including selective mutism, OCD, and disruptive behavior disorders. She directs a training program for psychology students and postdoctoral trainees learning Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and treatment for childhood selective mutism. Dr. Cornacchio leads training for educators and professionals interested in learning more about how to treat selective mutism. Dr. Cornacchio's research interests focus on innovative treatment formats for difficult-to-treat child anxiety. She conducted the first randomized controlled trial of an intensive group treatment program for children with selective mutism and is currently co-authoring a manual that's in press on the delivery of intensive treatment for children with selective mutism.

• WaveMind Clinic Website

• ChildNEXUS Provider Profile

• Email: [email protected]

• Selective Mutism Association website with many resources and a provider database

• Dr. Steve Kurtz's Selective Mutism Learning University self-guided course

• Get on our Email List

• Book a Consultation

• Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider

• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses with LIVE AMA Sessions

The Diverse Thinking Different Learning podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, the views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not considered treatment and do not necessarily reflect those of ChildNEXUS, Inc or the host, Dr. Karen Wilson.