What if couples therapy isn't about fixing the other person at all?

In this episode, Gordon sits down with Erin Valente, a couples therapist based in Los Angeles, to talk about one of the most common mistakes couples make when they come to therapy—and why real change doesn't live with one partner, but in the relationship itself.

They explore why couples work can feel intimidating for therapists, how regulation and co-regulation shape meaningful conversations, and what it really takes to help couples move out of blame and into connection. Erin also shares how she's structured her private practice to avoid burnout, including her work with ketamine-assisted therapy, groups, and coaching.

Whether you work with couples, are curious about relationship dynamics, or are thinking about new ways to diversify your practice, this episode offers a grounded, thoughtful look at what healing in relationships actually looks like.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Read the show notes here

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Meet Erin Valente

Erin Valente is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in trauma-focused therapy for individuals and couples. With advanced training in EMDR, Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy, and somatic and narrative therapy, Erin helps clients reconnect with their inner voice and move toward healing, growth, and authentic connection.

A lifelong student of the human experience, Erin explores the intersections of psychology, emotion, and personal wisdom. She believes that while psychology offers valuable direction, true healing emerges when we integrate our own understanding of who we are and what we need. Her approach centers on helping individuals and couples rediscover alignment, resilience, and self-compassion as they navigate life's inevitable challenges—heartbreak, love, loss, and transformation.

Drawing from her background in trauma-informed therapy, domestic violence work, and somatic awareness, Erin creates a deeply resonant therapeutic experience that empowers lasting change. She has been featured on multiple podcasts, hosts her own show, and is launching a group coaching program designed to help individuals and couples cultivate passionate, healthy relationships that support the healing of the human experience.

Website Instagram Private Podcast: Healing the Human Experience